Authors Note - Heyo there kiddos welcome to a Lams fanfic! I know there is an abundance of those here but I love the ship so I could not resist. Updates on the story could be weekly or fortnightly I have not decided. I will update a chapter at a time. Please enjoy!

Characters and themes in this fic belong to Lin Miranda the cinnamon roll.

Warnings - Slash, strong language, adult themes (no smut)

Disclaimer - Yes, John is older than Alex, look it up, (Hamilton was wearing- ok I'm sorry) he is three years older.

In case this wasn't obvious this is set in the modern day

Yes, I am using the Anthony Ramos version of John Laurens in terms of looks

And yes, Kingsborough University is made up

John

"I hate him!"

"Was it Jefferson or Aaron this time?"

"Yes,"

"Oh my God,"

John looked over at Alex with pity, and noted the dark circles under his eyes. So he had been working last night, despite him denying it. He picked up a book and examined it before nestling in between two others on the shelf.

"You have to try and not let them get to you, Lex," he replied.

"No use," muttered the other man, "Jefferson thinks it's his sole purpose in life to ruin mine,"

"That's because Jefferson is an asshole," continued John, "If you ignore him he'll get bored,"

Alex pulled a hairband from his pocket and started fiddling with it absent mindedly.

"But he's always right theeere," he moaned like a whining child, "I sit there night and day like a good secretary, get my work done, don't start fights and what does Mr Washington do? Give that Jefferson bastard a promotion! A fucking promotion Jackie! Honestly if this is what I get for trying I don't think-"

John grimaced as a woman passing by dumped several more books on the already mountainous pile. Alex stopped his tangent to stare at her.

"Hey! Hey! My friend here has enough problems without you coming along and-"

"Alex! I'm so sorry Miss..."

The woman sniffed at Alex and haughtily stalked off.

"Well she looked like a ray of sunshine," he muttered, finally using the band to tie his hair back into a low pony tail.

"Alex!" hissed the freckled man, "We talked about this! You're right, I do have enough problems with this job without you attacking every obnoxious customer!"

"Speaking of which," began Alex, "How is your new job?"

John paused for thought as he picked up another book.

"You know, it's good. Great. The library's fine, I get paid alright I just, well, yeah,"

Alex studied his companion's face.

"You hate it,"

"I don't hate it, Lex! I just..."

He sighed and put down the book, turning to look at Alex.

"I feel like we could be doing so much more than this Lexie! I mean, look at you, you're twenty one working as a secretary, which isn't too bad, but with your brain you could be doing so much better!" he exclaimed, shaking his head, "And where am I? Twenty four and not knowing what the hell I'm doing with my life!"

"Relax," soothed Alex, "Let's go get a drink, pick up some girls and forget about any deadlines, hmm?" John bit his lip and looked around the library, then reluctantly went back to sorting the books.

"I...I don't know Alex...I have a lot of work and so do you..."

"Come on, live a little! I'll invite Laf and Herc to come along too. It's Friday, let's get out of here,"

John turned to look at Alex, who was grinning, eyebrows raised. He had looked at his friend's face hundreds of times before, enough to see the steely determination in his eyes, and the wonder and curiosity that came with it. John was used to seeing that mischevious smile play out on his lips, and five minutes later he'd been talked into doing something he would never do alone. Not without Alex.

He considered, then shook his head slowly.

"Jackie," pleaded Alex, "Please?"

John swallowed. He never let anyone call him Jack or Jackie except family, but two years ago he'd met Alex.

He was chatting to Lafayette and Hercules behind a bar, cleaning a glass. Working as a bartender was never his forte but it payed well, especially for a naive university graduate. He had recently finished school and he had no idea what he wanted to do, let alone what he was going to do to earn money. Herc leaned over and pointed across to the other side of the room.

"Well look who it is," he chuckled, "Aaron Burr. Who's that guy he's with? You might have a shot with him,"

John followed his gaze to see that Aaron was indeed sitting down a few tables away with an attractive young man. The man appeared to be deep in a conversation while Aaron listened, amused. Before John could reply Laf was already striding towards them.

Hercules immediately followed the French man and John silently trailed behind them. Everybody was talking to one another, and it seemed that Laf was trying his hardest to get on Aaron's nerves. It was working. John smiled at his friend's antics and turned to leave when he felt a light tap on the shoulder, and turned around. It was the young man.

He smiled "Hey there. I'm Alex,"

John's spine tingled, but it was a pleasant feeling. Like eating pop rocks as a kid.

"I'm...I'm John,"

"Hi John...hmm, John. Do they call you Jackie? I like the sound of that, could I call you Jackie?"

"S-sure,"

"Please?"

John's mind was thrown back to the present. He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"If it will make you happy, fine,"

"Yess! I'll see you tonight,"

"You can convince me to do anything. I'm surprised you haven't used that against me yet. Or maybe I shouldn't give you any ideas,"

"Ha, everything? I wish, Jackie, I wish,"

Alex

Alex grabbed his bag and walked out of the library. As soon as he was out of the door the smile slid off of his face. Leaning against the wall, he exhaled and pulled a letter out of his bag.

Dear Mr Hamilton

Your resume has impressed us thoroughly. It is clear that although you lack experience, you are no stranger to writing. We would be happy to pay for your travel expenses for you to come to England and take a course here at Kingsborough University. Please reply in a maximum of two weeks time so that we can calculate the costs.

Kingsborough University

Alex's stomach tightened as he reread the letter for the one thousandth time. It was a one in a lifetime opportunity, and when he first received the letter his mind was set in going. And then he remembered John.

He saw in his mind John's smiling face, he would be happy for him, but he would miss him.

And Alex would miss him too.

It was in that moment, standing outside the library on a freezing November morning that Alex decided to write a letter.

He sat on the bench and pulled out a sheet of paper and began to write.

My dearest, Jackie