Cross-posted from AO3.
A/N: Started with the idea that Team Minato would hit and run saying "Sensei, you baka!" to Minato like he'd done something wrong, but he hasn't done anything, so Minato gets increasingly confused after each incident and wonders if his team's pranking him. This happened instead.
Soon after the formation of Team Minato.
"Deception is one of the most important aspects of shinobi life," Minato lectured. "You can use it to gain an advantage in battle or enhance henge and non-henge-based disguises. You've covered some basics in the Academy, but as genin, chuunin, and future jounin, it's important you master this technique." Obito raised his hand. "Yes, Obito?"
"Are we going to do a mock battle in disguises? Can I be the Hokage?" he asked excitedly, fixing his goggles. Kakashi facepalmed behind him.
Minato smiled good-naturedly. "We won't be doing anything like that today. Would you like to go first, Obito?"
"That was horrible," Kakashi remarked dryly from the sidelines.
Obito bristled, swinging his arm to point a finger Kakashi's way. "Then why don't you try it!?"
"Everyone will have a chance to try the exercise," Minato interrupted. "Why don't we have Rin demonstrate next?"
"Yes, Sensei!" Rin hopped up from her seat and went to take the acting script from Minato. She immediately fell into character with a teary, "Sensei…" eyes downcast.
The other two quickly turned their attention to the performance just as Minato switched into his role, brows furrowed with worry. "What's wrong, Rin?"
"Sensei, you—you…" she shut her eyes, distraught, and hit him with the papers, "You baka!"
"Good job, Rin!" Minato ended the act and praised his student. She smiled in response and handed back the papers neatly before walking back to her seat. Minato turned hopeful eyes towards Kakashi.
"You can't be serious," Kakashi said, the rules deserting him like a receding wave that would never ever return.
Obito, grinning off to the side, gently pushed his teammate from behind to get him off his bum. "Oh, come on, Kakashi. You can do it," he encouraged cheerfully.
Kakashi sent a glare over his shoulder before moving out of Obito's reach and standing to face Minato. He took the script papers and stared at the directive.
He looked up at Minato and blandly stated, "Sensei, you baka."
"No!" Obito drew out the syllable, protesting from the wings with a flailing, pointing arm. "You can't do it like that! Redo, redo!" he called.
"Kakashi," Minato said kindly, "It's alright not to get it the first time. How about we give it another shot?"
Obito's jaw dropped, arm frozen in the air. Kakashi was equally dumbstruck, without the uncouth gesture and pose. He didn't.
(Rin blinked. She didn't see anything wrong.)
Kakashi's glare could melt steel, but Minato wasn't perturbed. Kakashi knew his sensei would never look down on his students aside from the height difference, but he couldn't help seeing it as a disguised taunt. "Well?"
Well, Kakashi wasn't about to break the rules over something as stupid as this. Kakashi snapped the papers straight, not breaking eye contact. He had to separate himself from the task, then it would be easy. He finally looked back at the words on the page.
"Sensei, you…" He felt the heat involuntarily rush to his cheeks.
The rest of Team Minato leaned forward, intrigued. Even Minato forgot about his role. The three penetrating gazes shocked Kakashi out of his lapse. He scowled.
"You baka!" he finished, punching the papers into Minato's gut.
"Oof!"
"Not cute," Obito lamented as Rin laughed apologetically beside him.
17 years later.
"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura called sweetly, flouncing over with her hands fisted by her chin. Kakashi, master of a thousand jutsus—and Gai's friend—knew an unconventional fighting stance when he saw one and stood his guard. Sure enough, "You baka!" she joked, arm spiking forward for a punch.
Pon!
There was a little poof where she hit, but otherwise, nothing happened. Maybe a few years from now, that wouldn't be so harmless. "Good work, Sakura," he approved. "Next, Sasuke."
"Good one, Sakura-chan!" Naruto hollered.
Shannaro! Inner Sakura cheered as Sakura switched places with Sasuke, watching as he walked past. "Good luck, Sasuke-kun!" she wooed.
"Hn," he grunted, but more or less ignored her. Sasuke shoved his hands in his pockets and got in position, looking down to the side. Kakashi, Naruto, and Sakura's attention were entirely fixed on his brooding image.
"Sensei," Sasuke muttered shyly. He turned away, the barest shift of his shoulders and feet, and quietly spat, "Baka…"
Team Seven was swept up by his cool performance.
"That gave a nice feeling," Kakashi praised, eye smiling and invisible flowers showering from his head in a bright halo.
"Sasuke-chan," Naruto breathed in awe. Sakura was a veritable puddle on the ground.
"Chan?" Sasuke seethed. His idol air evaporated. Naruto unconsciously shrunk back at Sasuke's darkening aura as he rounded on him. He looked down his nose at Naruto, glare promising he'd step on a particularly annoying genin if he twitched the wrong way.
"Sa-Sasuke," Naruto nervously held his hands up before quickly straightening and clearing his throat. He broke into a grin, pointing at his own chest with swift jab of his thumb. "I'll top your act, dattebayo!"
Sasuke smiled in amusement, murderous aura dissipating. "Just try, dobe."
"Alright!" Naruto cheered, fists clenched. He turned to Kakashi, raising a hand and shouting, "Kakashi-sensei! I'm ready!"
"Got it, Naruto," Kakashi answered back, "Give it your best shot."
To everyone's surprise, Naruto untied his forehead protector and stored it away in his pocket. But the serious expression Naruto wore as he copied Sasuke's first pose… Kakashi suddenly had a bad feeling.
"Sensei." Naruto deepened his voice. Fake—it sounded terribly fake. When he turned, it was sharp and his hand shot up to his forehead in that cliché pained look. Garish sparkles and roses dusted around him that could give Gai and his protégé a run for their money. "Baka…"
Sakura looked like she ate a sour apple. Sasuke looked half like he was expecting this and half turned to stone, eternally unimpressed. Kakashi felt like he'd stepped out of an oasis and into the desert, parched with sand in his mouth despite the mask. "Um…" he started.
"Wait, wait, wait!" Naruto reverted to his old self, waving his hands in an attempt at damage control. "Let me try again! I've got it this time."
Team Seven was willing to indulge him. "Alright, whenever you're ready," Kakashi said.
Naruto faced his back to them. (In preparation, Kakashi assumed.) When he turned around, exclamation marks popped out of their heads, eyes widening for an instant in alarm.
"Sensei," Naruto choked, eyes glassed by tears on the edge of falling. Kakashi could feel his heart breaking. (A little voice in his head wondered if Kushina would beat him for making her son cry—she would.) Sakura shifted in her spot, brow creased with worry, unsure what to do. Sasuke blankly stared at the scene, captivated and bothered for some reason he couldn't grasp.
"It's alright, Naruto," Kakashi flickered to his student's side in an instant to comfort him.
That appeared to be the wrong move. The tears fell. "Sensei no baka!" Naruto emphatically cried, gripping his teacher in an unexpected hug.
Kakashi had tensed for a moment, then relaxed. "Yes, I'm an idiot," he readily admitted—he certainly felt like one now. He pat Naruto on the head as the boy sobbed into his vest. "You can stop now, Naruto, before Sakura and Sasuke really get worried. Good job."
Naruto sniffed and stepped back enough to wipe away the remaining tears with his jacket sleeve, but he still held onto his sensei. He peered around Kakashi to face Sasuke, who still looked like a bomb had dropped on him. "So, I won right?" he asked in a more normal voice.
Sasuke snapped his eyes to Naruto's inquiring ones, finally focusing and belatedly realizing he got caught up in the performance. "Hn," he merely grunted while looking to the side.
"Hehe," Naruto grinned his eyes closed, letting go of Kakashi now to deftly tie on his forehead protector. "Yeah! I did it, Kakashi-sensei!" he proudly proclaimed.
"Nn," Kakashi agreed, relieved and happy for Naruto. He turned to the other two. "Well, how about we all go for ramen?" That should make up for the crying, if Kushina ever found out.