Disclaimer: I do not own Hitch.

The Hitch Aftermath

Chapter 1

Learning From Hitch's Experience

After the Marriage of Albert Brennaman and Allegra Cole, Alex Hitch's matchmaking reputation was restored. It was later noted that Hitch's intentions to his previous clients were professionally pure and after doing an evaluation on the couples he matched with it was clear he still believed in doing what he loves to do despite making little from his profession.

But he was making so much more thanks to his girlfriend Sara, who made his profession known all over New York through the newspaper company she works at, she owed him this in the form of an apology when she falsely advertised Hitch as being a mastermind for men to talk women out of their pants tagging him to his latest client which was Albert. All from a source who's been refused Hitch's services. His name was Vance Munson. Apparently he set Hitch up by mentioning him through a service card when he spoke to Sara about which date doctor he spoke to.

But after the truth been told, everything cleared up and everybody was as happy as can be. And in the end, Hitch didn't move out of his apartment. During one day, Hitch was in his apartment when all of a sudden he heard a knock on the door. As he went to open it, it was Sara along with Casey and her boyfriend Charles Wellington, Albert and Allegra, even Sara boss max and his wife showed up.

"Uh... I don't believe I told anybody That I was throwing a party." Hitch said.

"I believe it's called a get together:" Sara replied as they all came in.

"And weren't you two supposed to be on your honeymoon?"

"Eventually we are waiting until the fashion show of Maggie's then it's off to Venice." Albert said.

"Why get together at my place?"

"To learn how the amazing individual we're seeing came to be as well as the success he brings in match making." Max said. As they all came inside they all settled down Hitch and Sara were sitting on a couch together and Hitch began.

"Well where can I begin? I mean this all happened in college, all the way to College I was a nerdy man who didn't at the time fully know what love is. But when I met Cassandra it was like an experience upon experiences for love. We hung out together went to parties and parks, this was for four months and during those 4 months I fell in love with her in which the fact was that I even told her I love her. Somehow her feeling towards me weren't as mutual as mine was to her."

"Oh Hitch." Sara sighed.

"Don't tell me she dumped you." Casey replied.

"She did I found her cheating on me with a guy while they was at a drive thru movie. At the time when I encountered them, I was naïve as to why she would do it until I found out that maybe I came on a bit too strong. So pretty much the love I've experienced in for months felt like years to me. Especially when you been in one."

"Wow." Albert said. "That seems deep."

"After which I had to experience other people who were truly in love do stuff like play outside games or take a long walk or kissing and not caring who sees, singing and serenading, and like my bad experience see other stuff like the cheating, the one hitter quitters, the home wreckers, it made me think that women could have so much better it's one of my basic principles: now some would want a tall and handsome man or someone strong or someone for arm candy based on looks and other stuff but any great women wants love and to be treated with respect and such. A woman does not know what she wants until she sees it. Somehow upon walking I came across a man who was staring extremely hard at a woman who was sitting on a stool he told me the situation I told him how to be successful he was really into her too never in my life has a man cried because he was so desperate for love especially his middle school crush. After he was successful in becoming her boyfriend not only did he thank me but upon what she found out she thanked me as well and they paid me when I could have could have done this for free. Because I was gonna start doing this for free."

"Get out of here!" Max said not believing it.

"And thus Alex Hitchens: The Date Doctor was born. After that one I was referred by many guys who loves women and pretty much each and every one was a success except for Vance Munson. Boy was he a pig he was so persistent to the point where he grabbed my wrist and demanded that I do what he wants. Now I don't know who referred me to him, but the way Vance said I help guys get in there he took that as I helped guys get into womens' pants. I'm strictly a 'must like women' date doctor not because of looks or because she has ass. So I told him I was a literal guy and reversed his wrist hold with an arm hold and told him I would literally break his arm if he ever were to touch me like that again. And I guess a few witnesses saw what was going on."

"I spoke to some of the witnesses at that restaurant." Casey said. "They knew about that conversation. Hitch I have to apologize."

"Me too." Sara replied.

"For what?" Hitch asked.

"When Vance and I had a one night stand, And when he left he said 'Date Doctor my ass.' I really thought you helped him bed me." Casey said

"And when I confronted him he had your card. If he was much of a gentleman to understand that you refused him, he would have lost your card but he kept it to give to me in hopes that I would ruin you, which so happens to be true." Sara replied.

"So when the paper came out upon you thinking what Hitch did, you was protecting me thinking that Albert's act was a ruse." Allegra said.

"Yes."

"Well you should know. You caused my husband to go on a full tirade. He loved me so much to prove that he was willing to do anything for me and to get me back. Especially killing Hitch."

"Is this true Albert?"

"Oh yes. When I asked Hitch could he fix it in which was to explain to her what his role was in this, I felt relieved that he fixed it but when I saw him hugging her, I like strangled him." Albert replied.

"I am so sorry guys." Sara said.

"You're forgiven." Albert and Allegra said.

"But yet the nerve of that guy."

"Why what he do?" Hitch asked.

"Not only did he treat my best friend badly, he said she was a lousy lay."

"And what did you do?"

At this time Sara was hemmed up to Hitch with her knee resting on his package.

"My knee met his nuts."

Hitch had to laugh at that.

"Wow."

After a good laugh Max spoke up.

"You know Hitch with the luck in the success you have in matching these people up I'm surprised. Many of them would have lied to you about loving them only to give them confidence to speak to them and then bed them."

"But as I found out when talking to Allegra that all I did was give them confidence even when I gave them advice it was their confidence that pulled through. Plus when you think of it, I really don't think I'm that lucky for it probably wasn't luck."

"Why you say that?" Sara asked.

"Because the guys who wanted my help were desperate to be with the woman of their dreams, plus those whose only there to just bed women wouldn't be that desperate anyway."

"But even that can go both ways Hitch." Max said. "Even you extremely take precautions as to who you help pair up with not everything's one sided. Sure your percentage of your profession is very high but not everything's 100% unless you make some kind of agreement."

"Well... I haven't really thought about it."

Just then Hitch's cell phone rang and he picked it up and find out that it was his friend who he shot pool with.

"Hey Brett."

"Hitch, you won't believe what just happened."

"The sweetest thing in your world gave birth?"

"No Grace ain't due 'til another week but dude, a friend of mine who saw you in the restaurant with Vance, told me something about him."

"What did this person tell you about Vance?"

"Vance had met a gorgeous foxy lady, he was doing his thing talking and soon they went back to her apartment and somehow Vance seems limped because he took Viagra."

"But what does that..."

"Hold it there because it gets much tastier." Hitch mouth tastier. "Vance Never got a chance to get off on the lady due to the fact that she had an emergency so Vance was left with hard on and as fate would have it while walking home, he tripped on something fell face first and he had a penile fracture."

"You're kidding me."

"I am dead serious."

Suddenly Sara got a call.

"Yes?"

It was one of Sara's Co-workers.

"Sara, where are you?"

"I'm at my boyfriend's with my best friend and our boss, why, what is up?"

"You will not believe this Vance confronted this person that he claimed had left out on him and come to find out it was his boss' daughter he was messing around with."

"He screwed himself. Did you know that he took Viagra, and while walking home he broke his wiener."

"Well he screwed himself even more because he mentioned it after that he got into a fight with a couple of his co-workers who stood up for her and he got himself fired."

"Are you serious?"

"Karma must be a you-know-what."

"Okay so are we..."

"We best get started."

Soon Sara hung up and everybody was looking at them.

"What is it?" Casey Asked.

"Vance Munson used his skills to sweet talk a woman out of her pants and had decided to use Viagra. But upon an emergency she left only for him to leave and upon that he fell and broke his hot dog." Hitch said.

Allegra, Albert, Sara, and Charles laughed very hard at that.

"But that's not all upon the next day at his job he ran into her and confronted her and when he harassed her a couple of his co-workers fought him the woman he was messing with was his boss' daughter and he got fired from his job." Sara said continuing from Hitch.

"I smell an exclusive." Max said.

"Hitch should we pick this up soon?" Sara asked.

"Sure I don't have another client until Friday."

"Okay."

Sara gave Hitch a quick kiss and soon left to cover the exclusive.

The day after the newspaper was posted and Sara's Exclusive on the front page read: "VANCE MUNSON: BROKEN AND FIRED!" Ever since the day he got fired no woman ever went near him and nobody have ever heard of him since. During Wednesday the day before Hitch and Sara's date Vance Munson made a statement to another newspaper company blaming Hitch, Sara, the Boss' daughter and New York for his accidents and failures. He left New York and nobody heard from him since.

That night when Hitch came home he came across VIP passes to Allegra's friend Magnus Foster's fashion show which was on Thursday. Before he went to bed he called Sara.

"Hey, tall, dark, and handsome." Sara said.

"How are you small, tan, and gorgeous."

"I'm doing fine. Tomorrow I got nothing to do, my boss gave me a day off."

"Perfect because I have two passes to Magnus' fashion show. Interested?"

"Maybe... I'll have to find out what's going on because you possibly couldn't have gotten those without a catch to them."

"Okay. I'll see you then."

And they both went to sleep waiting to find out if this date will be the one where nothing bad happens.