I am Ciel Phantomhive. I am… darkness. My whole life is darkness. There is no light, there is no hope, there is no form of matter at all.
Just darkness.
Many have tried to help me, but all have failed. Many have attempted to save me, but nobody can. No… Not a single soul can.
That is why I was forced to reach towards someone who has no soul. A soulless being… A demon.
Demons are pitiful creatures, just as much so as humans. They are equally as prideful as my species, and equally driven by hunger. Though, the hunger of a human isn't always quite as literal as the hunger of a demon. That would change things so drastically.
What draws the line between a demon and a human? Is it the truth of having or not having a soul? The need to breathe or the simple ability to do so? What is it?
I know the difference.
Humans experience complete and utter terror, demons are fearless.
I scoff at this. The idea of showing even the slightest sign of fear causes me to flinch… But, of course, I have been terrified before. The darkest hours of my life were the ones in which I was chilled to the bone and burned to the soul, with fear dripping from every pore in my fragile, helpless, mortal body.
Demons are never so frightened. Yes, they become panicked and maybe even a little bit scared, I'd like to think so at least, but there will never be a day when a demon is terrified.
But why? Why do demons, creatures from the depths of hell and protectors of Lucifer himself, get this unfair advantage on a planet controlled by humankind?
Because they are safe. Demons are so unnaturally strong and agile that no matter their circumstance they almost always have the chance of survival. Humans always have the disadvantage of being one step closer to death simply by living another day.
But enough about that… I'm tired… So very tired. I just want to sleep now. Maybe when I wake I will be the light?
Yes. I'd like that. I want to wake up and think, "I am Ciel Phantomhive. I am… lightness. My whole life is brightness. There is no dark, there is only hope, there is so much hope." Of course, to fall asleep and wake up as the brightness I must allow myself to be captured by this darkness…
What terrifying thoughts.