Some things you just can't control…

—-

As Lucas dribbles his basketball down the abandoned sidewalks of Tree Hill, a million different thoughts race through his mind.

*Thump*

Where has his father been all his life?

*Thump*

Why didn't he want him?

*Thump*

Was he just not good enough?

Shaking his head to rid himself of these thoughts, he plugs his earphones in and dribbles at a faster pace. He just wants to get to the Rivercourt already, the only place he actually feels sane. Normally thoughts of his non-existent dad don't bother him this much, but today they're really taking their toll. Lucas has been without a father since before he can remember, his mom taking it upon herself to raise him. She owns a little cafe that brought in just enough business to keep them afloat. It wasn't what he would call comfortable living, but he acts like he has the world just to make his mom happy. She practically gave up her life for him, so in his opinion, it's the least he can do to pay her back.

He's just so fucking pissed at his dad for abandoning them. Watching his mom struggle to get by every day just makes it worse, and he wishes he could do something about it, like never even existing in the first place. She probably would've been better off. All he is is a burden on her.

*Thump thump*

Only a few minutes away from the Rivercourt now…

Not bothering to check first, Lucas dribbles into the middle of the street, completely lost in his own head. Suddenly a pair of bright lights come out of nowhere, and Lucas finally looks up.

Holy shit, he's about to get ran over if he doesn't hurry up and move!

But he's completely frozen, his legs locked with fear. The driver notices him at the last second and slams on the brakes, stopping just inches in front of Lucas. He looks and sees a girl with a mess of curly blonde hair behind the wheel, her eyes widened in shock.

After studying her for a second, he realizes it's Peyton Sawyer, a cheerleader for the Tree Hill Ravens, no doubt running late for the basketball game going on tonight. Looking annoyed, Peyton motions for him to get out of the way. He smiles, and continues along his way, Peyton speeding away once he's on the sidewalk.

Hopefully he can make it the rest of the way without getting killed.

—-

Okay, this is it. Only 15 seconds left on the clock, and they're down by 3. He can do this. He has to do this. Dan'll kill him if he doesn't.

Nathan zeroed in on the hoop in front of him. He has to make these free-throws. If he doesn't, the Ravens lose. His team loses. He has to make these count.

He takes the first shot, which makes it in the basket. The gymnasium erupted with applause, cheering him on.

One shot down, one to go. He can do this.

He concentrates, and then takes the second shot. Shit, this one definitely isn't making it in. His throw was ridiculously off center. Nathan closed his eyes; he couldn't bare to watch this.

Wait, people were cheering! He glanced up at the scoreboard and saw they were only down by one.

Hell yeah.

The clock started running again, and Nathan sprung into action. Only 13 seconds left, and the other team has the ball. They took a shot, which bounced off the backboard and into Nathan's hands.

Shit, 8 seconds left. He has to move, and now.

Nathan turned and sprinted towards the other basket, the opposing team right on his heels. Two guys jump in front of him, trying to block his advance.

4 seconds.

He has to take this shot, it's his only chance. He jumps and shoots the ball, praying it'll go in.

*Swoosh*

The gym bursts with applause, everybody standing and cheering in the stands. His teammates surround him and shower him with praise, their faces beaming.

"Good game, Nate!"

"Awesome job, man!"

"That was amazing!"

The feeling after winning a game is a high that nobody could possibly understand. It's probably the single greatest thing in the world. Nathan's always loved basketball more than anything, even his own girlfriend.

Grinning from ear to ear as his teammates congratulate him, he looks around to try and find his dad, and eventually spots him in the corner of the gym. Nathan walks over to him, and is greeted with a look of disgust, the same look Dan always gives him no matter how well he did.

"You could've done better."

—-

Lucas makes it to the Rivercourt unscathed, and sees the guys already have a game going without him.

"Well well, if it isn't Lucas Roe in the flesh!" Skills says, turning to greet Lucas. "Where the hell you been? We been waiting out here forever."

"Sorry, I almost got ran over on my way here," Lucas says, smirking as he takes his earbuds out.

"Good thing you didn't, I'd hate to have to show a handicapped man up at basketball," Skills teases.

"Please, I'd still be able to take you in a wheelchair," Lucas retorts.

"Yeah, okay," Skills says, laughing. "C'mon man, we got a game to play."

Nodding, Lucas makes his way onto the court, running his hands through his shaggy blonde hair.

"And here comes Lucas Roe ladies and gentleman. Will his appearance turn the tide of the game?" Mouth commentates, sitting on the bleachers and speaking into a tape recorder. Eventually, Lucas is going to take that thing and chuck it into the river.

Skills passes him the ball and the game begins. All the thoughts of his father were long gone. Nothing could bother him out here when he's on the Rivercourt with his friends, playing the game. The game was what kept him alive, and what kept him out of his own mind.

Well, as long as the game was going, anyway.

Sitting on the bleachers after the game is over, Lucas rubs his temples. His head is fucking throbbing.

Skills notices and sits down next to him.

"You're thinking about him again aren't you?" Skills asks him.

"No," Lucas lies, which gets him an angry look from Skills. He's a terrible liar. "… Yeah."

Sighing, Skills pats him on the back. "Look bro, you can't let it get to you this much. It's his own loss for never including you in his life. Whoever this guy is, I'm sure he's regretting it every single day."

"Yeah, right. If he cared that much i'm sure I would at least know his name by now."

"Why don't you try and ask your mom?" Skills asks him.

"I've tried, but she always looks so upset when I bring it up, so I just quit asking about it," Lucas replies.

"Well look dude, I say you're better off. You've done just fine without him so far," Skills says.

"Maybe you're right," Lucas tells him, not believing a single word coming out of his own mouth.

"Of course I'm right," Skills exclaims, standing up. "Now turn that frown upside-down and get ready for the next game."

Skills walks away to join the other guys back on the court, leaving Lucas to drown in his thoughts. He just feels so goddamn pathetic. This man that he doesn't even know has taken such a huge chunk of his life, and Lucas keeps on letting him.

He shakes his head and goes to join the other guys again, trying to keep himself away from his thoughts as much as possible.

—

"Did I tell you I almost hit Lucas Roe tonight? He walked right into the middle of the street and then stared at me like I was crazy," Peyton says.

"Mm," Nathan responds.

Nathan could not be more uninterested as Peyton is on top of him in his bed, trying to tease her way into his clothes. As horny as he is, he can't stop thinking about the look his dad gave him after the game, which is the last thing he wants to think about when he's about to have sex.

Peyton sighs, probably noticing how little effort he's putting in, and rests her head on his shoulder.

"What's the matter?" she asks him, running her fingers through his dark hair.

"I'm just never good enough," Nathan replies.

"Nate…" Peyton sighs, putting her head down.

"You should've seen the way he looked at me! Like I was the most disappointing thing ever," Nathan says.

"Nate, you won the game. Who cares what your ass of a father thinks?" Peyton says, propping herself up on her elbow.

"I do, okay?" Nathan replies, turning away from her. She just doesn't get it, and she never will.

"C'mon, quit sulking," Peyton tells him, passionately kissing the back of his neck.

"Will you quit? I'm not in the mood!" Nathan yells, jumping out of bed.

Peyton scoffs at him and stands up.

"Fine, stay here and wallow in your own pity party for all I care," Peyton says, gathering her things and walking towards the door. "I'm leaving."

"Good! Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out." Nathan spat, laying back down on the bed as she slams the door.

Damn it, he did it again.

Things weren't going good between him and Peyton, and for reasons that he wasn't entirely sure of. They started out great, always happy and laughing with each other, and fucking each other's brains out over and over again. Peyton's dad had to go on long trips because of his work, leaving Peyton with an incredibly convenient empty home. Nathan used to stay over all the time, but recently…. things have changed. They argue all the time, mostly about stupid shit, and they haven't had sex in weeks. Nathan can't explain it, but he just feels empty; like something's missing from his life. It was a void that Peyton could never fill, no matter how hard she tried, and that scared Nathan. She was everything a guy could want: sexy, blonde, great body, cheerleader, and with a sharp tongue to boot. So why is it that he still felt empty?

Sighing, Nathan put a pillow over his face, trying to sleep the rest of this terrible day away.

—-

"Hey mom, can I talk to you for a sec?"

Lucas walks onto his front porch, and sits down on the porch swing next to his mom, Karen, who was drinking a cup of coffee. She sat out here every morning to drink her coffee before heading to the cafe.

"Sure," Karen replies, shifting towards her son. "Whats up?"

"It's about my dad…," Lucas begins, causing Karen to tense up in response.

"Luke, I told you before -"

"I know what you said mom," Lucas interrupts, "but please. I'm 17 and I think I should have a right to at least know who my father is. I know you've been keeping it from me to protect me, but I want to know. Please?"

Karen sighs as she takes another drink of her coffee. Finally she looks at Lucas and responds. "Are you sure you want to know?"

Lucas nods in response. He doesn't care if he gets upset about her answer, he just wants to know. This has been haunting him long enough.

"Your father… is Dan Scott."

Wait, Dan Scott? THE Dan Scott? It has to be a mistake. If Dan Scott's his father, then that means…

"Wait, mom, are you serious?" Lucas asks, completely in denial of what she just told him. "But my last name…"

"Is actually my maiden name," Karen finishes, reaching over to rub his shoulder. "Your real last name is Scott, Lucas. I just hid it from you to protect you. That name carries too much of a burden in this town."

Lucas cannot believe what he's hearing right now.

"Why would you hide that from me?"

"Dan abandoned us to play basketball, Luke. He didn't and still doesn't deserve you. I wanted to keep you as far away from him as possible," Karen answers.

It isn't the fact that Dan Scott is his dad that's making him so upset right now, it's the fact that… if Dan Scott is his dad, Nathan Scott is his brother.

Groaning, Lucas wraps his hands around his stomach, rocking back and forth. He feels like he's going to lose his breakfast.

He's been infatuated with Nathan for as long as he can remember, even when he used to pick on Lucas in grade school. There was something about him that just drew him in, even if he tried to fight it. Lucas loved watching him play basketball, on the off chance he and his best friend Haley were bored enough to go to a game. The gleam Nathan got in his dark blue eyes when he scored was so gorgeous to Lucas. But he's never been gay, far from it in fact, but Nathan was a whole different entity to him. No one knew about this crush; he's kept it well hidden, but to find out they're actually brothers? No, he won't believe it. He can't.

Yep, he's definitely gonna throw up.

Lucas runs to the bathroom as quickly as he can, Karen right on his toes as he slams the door behind him.

"Luke?! Luke honey are you okay?" Karen asks him, knocking on the door. He's throwing up too much to answer her.

No, he thought.

He has the hots for his own fucking brother.