An Eye for An Eye
A/N: I really wanted to stay away from marriage/baby fics but then this came into my head and I couldn't get rid of it. I apologize that I'm sure this sort of idea has been done many times, but hopefully I'm adding my own kind of twist (especially towards the end, if you can be bothered to stay reading for that long!!). I haven't seen the whole of s4 (I've seen up to episode 15) so there might be some discrepancies with the story, but ultimately this is an AU anyway, since they have a kid and all. Spoilers for everything up to the end of S4 I suppose! Please do review; I like comments, good and bad, and I pretty much wanna know if I should bother continuing!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone, apart from Katy who was a figment of my own imagination.
-
Lindsay was exhausted. She hadn't told Danny, but throughout the day she'd felt like someone was following her; the constant feeling of eyes on her, the way that another car always seemed to pull out of the parking lot at the same time as hers did. Maybe she was being paranoid, but she didn't think so. After all, it wasn't often that someone as observant as Lindsay got something like that wrong. It had kept her awake, as her mind ran over the possible reasons why someone would be following her of all people. She didn't want to tell Danny because she feared the outcome – either he'd tell her she was being silly, or he'd get all overprotective of her and stop her from going into work. Either way, it didn't sound like a good idea.
So now, having given up on trying to rest, she was sitting in their daughter's bedroom, watching the two year old sleep. Whenever something like this rattled her cage, Lindsay would go into Katy's room, thankful for her calming influence. It was difficult to watch someone sleeping so peacefully and not be calmed. It always made her feel just the tiniest bit dizzy when she watched the little girl – something she and Danny had created together, with his dirty-blonde hair, her eyes – but that soon turned into absolute pride.
They hadn't planned for any of it. After what happened with Rikki, she was sure she'd never be able to trust Danny again. The relationship had crumbled to pieces and Lindsay had even considered applying for a transfer, finding herself unable to bear being in the same room as him. That was when she realized something was wrong. Not between her and Danny – she'd realized that long ago – but within herself. Her worst fear was realized when she missed her period. She was pregnant. Of course, she'd had to tell Danny; it was wrong not to, but she couldn't do it right away. But she was soon beginning to show, and it was becoming harder and harder to cover it up, so once she'd gathered the strength inside her, she went to confront him.
Lindsay took a deep breath, running a tired hand through her bobbed hair and adjusting her clothes. It's just Danny, she reminded herself, letting out a breath she hadn't even realized she was holding. Checking herself in the glass of Mac's (empty) office one last time, she made her way to the break room, where she knew Danny would be. She could picture him now, the sports section of the newspaper spread out on his lap, a cold soda in one hand. A soft smile came to her lips, but she stopped it. He hurt you Linds, you have to remember that. This baby… it doesn't mean anything. He still hurt you. She nodded to herself, pushing open the door and closing it quietly behind her. Thankfully, Danny was alone.
"Danny, can I have a word?"
He looked up from his newspaper, folded it carefully and placed it on the floor, "sure. What's up Montana?"
He hadn't called her that in weeks. Probably frightened that she'd yell at him for it, or worse. No, you've just not been talking for weeks, she reasoned with herself, trying to keep down the smile that kept threatening to erupt from her lips. This had been difficult enough for her, but she hadn't thought about what feelings this conversation would bring out. She still hurt from the last time he'd cheated on her; she wasn't supposed to feel anything for him but hatred.
"I… I don't really know how to say this," she started, purposely looking at the clock behind Danny's head to avoid his eyes.
His eyes, which were glistening with hope, but laced with worry. For weeks now, he'd been fearing that she would apply for a transfer, or go back to Montana. He knew what he'd done was stupid, but he'd been grieving. Part of him had hoped she would understand that, but most of him realized that it was a stupid thing to ask of her.
"Listen, Linds, before you say it… I… I am sorry," he said, trying to meet her eye, "I know I hurt you. I want us to be friends. The past few weeks have been hell! I miss you, I miss teasing you, and calling you names and the way your eyes light up when you discover something really important, and your smile and…"
"I'm pregnant," Lindsay interrupted, her tone flat and emotionless.
"You--what?"
She sighed, "I'm pregnant."
"But… it can't… it can't be mine. I've not so much as spoken to you in weeks. Why are you telling me this Linds? Rub it in my face that I had a chance with you but I blew it?" he asked, bitterly, a spark of anger in his ocean blue eyes.
"No. I…I've known for a while. It's yours, Danny, I know it is," 'and what the hell makes you think I've slept with anyone else?!' she felt like adding, but didn't.
"Right," he muttered, letting out a deep breath, "so… what now?"
"I don't know," Lindsay replied honestly, shaking her head.
"Does anyone else know?"
Lindsay nodded, "Stella. She noticed a few days ago… it was her that persuaded me to come and tell you. I was so scared that you'd be mad or…" she trailed off, tears glistening at her eyes.
"I could never be mad at you," Danny said, his voice soft. He reached across the table that she'd now sat at, and took her hands in his.
She flinched.
"If you want this baby…I… I want to help you. Financially… I mean. I don't mind."
Lindsay blinked, "Danny. I don't want your money. I… I want..."
"What? What do you want?" he whispered, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb.
"You," she said, only just loud enough for him to hear.
She didn't know what exactly it was that had made her trust him again, what had made her forgive him, but she did know that she was glad she had. They had the perfect little family now. They weren't married, or even engaged, which her father of course frowned upon, but she didn't need a wedding band to tell her that she loved Danny. They'd had to move apartment, needing somewhere with another bedroom for Katy, and had ended up moving closer to Danny's parents. Whilst they were both still working, Mac was sensitive towards their needs and made sure that if they had to be called out in the middle of the night, one of them could stay home with their daughter, and whilst they were at work during the day, Danny's parents took care of her. It was in no way flawless, but it worked and they both agreed that if it disrupted Katy or she showed any signs of being distressed from being passed on from person to person, they'd quit. If not both of them, then one of them at least, or they'd switch so that one of them did the day shift and the other the night shift.
Lindsay gazed down at her daughter and felt a wave of calm wash over her. Pressing a kiss to Katy's forehead, she left the room, closed the door quietly behind her, and got back into bed, wrapping her arms round Danny's sleeping form.
-
Lindsay woke to find herself alone in her bed. She blinked sleepily and sat up to look at the clock. 7:23. Rubbing her eyes, she started to get out of bed, but was interrupted by Danny re-entering the room and placing a tray on her lap. On the tray was a plate of pancakes, a mug of steaming coffee and a small vase with a single daisy in it. She smiled, lifting her head to kiss him.
"What's this for?" she asked, as he sat down next to her on the bed.
"I have to have a reason to bring the mother of my kid breakfast in bed?"
Lindsay grinned, "well, no. Thank you, it's very sweet. Speaking of Katy, is she still asleep?"
"Yeah, must have slept through the night," Danny broke a piece of pancake off the pile with the fork off the tray and fed it to Lindsay, who licked her lips appreciatively.
Katy had been disturbed during sleep three nights in a row that week, so it was good to hear she was sleeping better. She had a bit of a rash and they'd feared chicken pox, but it seemed to have cleared up whatever it was.
"We should probably get her up. We're dropping her off at 8.30," she yawned, sipping from her mug of coffee.
"Hey, hey, finish your breakfast. I'll sort Katy out."
She smiled, kissing him gently on the lips, "thank you. I don't know what I've done to deserve you y'know,"
Danny poked her nose, kissed her one last time, and then left the room to head into their daughter's bedroom. Lindsay was halfway through her second pancake when she heard Danny calling Katy's name, and then realized something was wrong. The tray was tossed to the floor, landing with the plate of pancakes all over the carpet, the mug of coffee upside down, but she didn't even notice.
Once she was inside Katy's room, Lindsay froze, looking at the empty bed where she'd seen her daughter sleeping, just three hours earlier. The window was wide open – which she was sure she'd not left that way – and Katy's teddy was on the floor, squashed slightly, with a dirty shoeprint across its stomach. There was a tiny spot of blood on the curtain.
Danny was standing by the window, tears lingering behind his glasses; he turned to look at Lindsay and shook his head.
"She's not here. She's…she's not here."
Tears flooded off her cheeks, and she sank to the floor where she'd been standing. Danny knelt next to her, tears steadily running down his own face as he tried to come to terms with what this all meant.
"Danny? Where is she Danny?! Where's our baby?!" she sobbed, as his arms wrapped round her protectively.
"I…I don't know," he whispered, wishing more than anything that he could answer her question.
-
Lindsay sat up in bed, her body aching even with the amount of drugs they were pumping into her, her hair stuck to her forehead. Next to the bed, a tiny, pink face slept, wrapped in a pink baby-grow, white hat, and pink blanket, concealing the baby's whole body apart from its face. Danny had pulled an armchair up to the bed, but had fallen asleep waiting for Lindsay to wake up. She sighed contentedly, looking at her two sleeping angels, and realizing she loved both of them more than she thought it was possible to love anything.
The baby slowly awoke and its cries interrupted the silence, waking Danny, who quickly sat bolt upright, grabbed his glasses from where they'd fallen in his lap, and picked up the screaming baby. He rocked her back to sleep, and then placed her gently in Lindsay's arms. Lindsay looked down at the peaceful face of her daughter and felt the tears well up in her eyes all over again.
-
A black SUV pulled up outside the apartment block as Danny watched out of the window. Lindsay was sitting in the rocking chair in Katy's room, one of her daughter's toys – a floppy pink rabbit that had been in the toy chest on the other side of the room - clutched in her hands, her face blank. The tears had dried, but she found herself in shock, unable to move. She'd always promised herself that if something like this happened, she wouldn't go into complete shut down mode. Not again. But it was exactly what was happening, and she couldn't stop it.
Danny heard the buzzer and went over to the door, forcing himself to take his eyes off Lindsay. He sniffed, wiped his eyes, and then opened the door to Stella Bonasera, Sheldon Hawkes and Adam Ross. Stella looked almost as in shock as Lindsay did, and quickly went over to the younger brunette, pulling her into a tight embrace.
"Are you okay kiddo?" she said softly, as Lindsay began to cry again.
"No. No of course I'm not. I want my baby girl," Lindsay sobbed, "oh god. I'm so sorry. I… I promised myself I wouldn't. God. Why is this happening? Why us?"
Stella smiled weakly, "I know, I know. It's okay. We're going to find out who did this. We'll get Katy back."
"What time did you last see Katy?" Hawkes asked, as he had had already started snapping photographs of the scene, Adam bagging the bear from the floor.
"We…I tucked her in at 7. Lindsay had taken her shopping with her, she was exhausted, but I wanted to see her when I got in."
Lindsay shook her head, "I went in to check on her… at like… I don't know… four-ish. I couldn't sleep… I… I know I didn't leave that window open. I'd never leave a window open like that."
"Kidnapper could have gotten in through that window…" Adam mused, "doubtful unless they were a good drainpipe climber though. This is the 7th floor. You'd need some serious skills to shimmy up that."
"The door wasn't broken into," Stella said, rubbing her temple, "the window is our only access point, unless they had a key."
"We're the only people with keys to the apartment," said Lindsay, standing now, with Danny's arm round her waist.
"Well us, and my mom," Danny corrected her, "she sometimes brings Katy back here for toys, sometimes puts her to bed if we're working a late one."
Sheldon opened the window wider and peered out. With a gloved hand, he reached outside, "Adam, can you pass me some forceps?"
He did as he was told, and Hawkes was quiet a moment, leaning out of the window, before bringing in what he'd found.
"Looks like a piece of rope torn off to me," he said, bagging the fibre, "we'll know for sure when we get it to the lab, but if that is the case, perhaps the kidnapper climbed up here?"
Stella nodded, "maybe. I think we need to take a closer look at that outside wall, don't you?
-
TBC.