Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, or world, of "Wicked," nor am I making any money.
He could still feel it in the very depths of his dreams. The heavy scent still dried out his breath, leaving his lungs aching. Brush turned instantly into a collection of ashes among a blaze. Grey smoke curled up in a fluid contrast to the heat of the inferno. Screams filled air littered with a scaly skyline. These images played like unforgiving shadow puppets behind his eyes.
But these echoes of terror were not the worst part of the menacier's guilt came not during the attacks he orchestrated with these great creatures he raised. The worst pain overcame him when he saw the ruins his work left people in. To see towns flattened both in geology and in spirit was overwhelming. To see filthy children crying for parents long passed or arrested tore his heart open.
No one would know it.
As he passed this destruction wordlessly, his face stayed firm. He was a member of the Ozian army. Softness to those needing discipline was unacceptable. Pity was unnecessary. He had done his job to the best of his capabilities. He was taught to only focus on that, on what mattered.
So why did his heart shake and his voice yearn to tremble whenever he approached the holdings where the dragons rested? Why did his very image repulse him? Why could he see only devils in uniform cockily flutter around him in their so-blessed business? How was it that he could just swallow these doubts whenever his commander handed him orders for another "demonstration"?
Trism closed his eyes and opened them rapidly. For now he'd have to blink away these dreams in favor for an equally gruesome reality. After all what other choice did he have? This was his life. This was who he was. This job gave him purpose. It defined him.
Who was he without his title, but some Gillikenese hick from a less then well off family? How could he ever matter to anyone? What could he accomplish with his simple life? He shuttered at his thoughts.
Trism prayed he'd never have to find out, even with the cost of his morality.
Thankfully, though, he would.