You're drowning, There's too much water and maybe Fitz calculated everything correctly but the variables never came into his mind, that you would try and save him no matter what. Bloody stupid Fitz and bloody stupid Hydra and there's so much water.
Breathe, your brain commands, but you can't. You can't save him and you can't save yourself and you can't save Skye because she was shot twice and no one have a clue where the damn holy drug is and this girl, this sweet girl is dying in front of you but you can't save her because you're drowning.
Breathe. Soft hands are on your face, all of a sudden, and a light humming starts somewhere above you. You cry. You don't want to be dead quite yet.
Then you open your eyes and you would recognize the dark brown ones that stares back at you anywhere.
"You're okay, Jem. Breathe, baby."
So you do. Skye is all around you as soon as you're fully out of your nightmare, her arms, her scent, her mutterings. And the cry that comes out this time is way harder than the first, your arms pulling her closer as if she was about to disappear.
"You're okay," she whispers, "I'm okay, I'm here." She's there. Your eyes flutter shut.
You've always thought coffee was an atrocity when you could easily take one good, black tea instead, but today you're welcoming it's perfume in the air as you sit straight up on your bed.
"Hey, sleeping beauty." She smiles, sitting by your side, but one look in her eyes and you can pinpoint every heavy worry there.
"Hi, love." Your head hurts but you manage a small smile back.
"I made breakfast," Your girl steals a soft kiss from your lips and dismiss your I-need-to-brush-my-teeth protests. "wanna break the rules and eat in bed today?"
Normally you wouldn't even let her finish talking - eating in bed lead to crumbs on your sheets which lead to insects and absolutely not thank you very much - but you're so emotionally drained you have to agree.
It's not long until she's back with a full tray with scrambled eggs, toast, fruits and, you stare confused, a cup of tea.
"I thought I smelled coffee." You can't help the bright smile tugging your lips up when you carefully nurse the hot cup between your hands. The first sip makes your british heart skip a beat: it's actually exactly how you like it. You hum, pleased. "This is delicious, thank you sweetheart."
She takes in a piece of toast and lifts her own mug at you, before taking the last few sips of her beverage.
"I wanted coffee but wouldn't let you without your tea. How are you feeling?"
It's nonchalant enough but your heart clenches at the worried look she's trying to mask.
"Better. I'm sorry I woke you during the night, I really am."
Skye's shaking her head before you even finish and her lips are on yours again before you realize. She takes her time now, placing small kisses all over your jawline.
"Don't. Wanna talk about it?" She places her now empty mug on your bedside table and finishes her own breakfast. Honestly, you're just frustrated the kissing stopped. A sigh escapes you when you take in your tea and eggs, but you were never good at hiding stuff from her so, eventually, you just put your cup aside.
"I was dying. Drowning, but it was so confusing. I was angry I couldn't save Fitz and then-" You cringe at the thought. "You were also dying. I couldn't save you, Skye, from the shooting. I-" You shake your head and feel the heat of embarrassment up on your neck and ears "I can't even think about losing you again."
Your girl moved closer at some point and the tray's not over your legs anymore. She's there, hugging you as tight as she can, her head resting on your shoulders. "I love you, Jem." a tiny broken whisper on your neck and it hits you. She's just as scared as you were.
You snuggle closer, and place a trail of pecks on her favorite spot right below her ear before you murmur, "I love you too, Skye.".
She's there. You breathe her in. You're okay.