SQA

I'm too Sexy

Disclaimer: We own nothing, don't sue. We don't even own the line "Life support systems failure. Check oxygen levels at once." And we probably don't even own the plot... ah well enjoy!

BLAST! I broke the thingamadoo that's connected to the zumahinker! Now the whatchamacallit is going to implode! Oh force we're screwed! Where is Atton when you need him?!

10 minutes Previously...

"You sure you can hand it, General? It's not that difficult, but it if the compression coil isn't connected properly it can make a mess." Bao-Dur asked from the entrance to the Ebon Hawk's engine room.

Looking up from the mass of wiring, I nodded. "Don't worry, Bao, I do have some experience with mechanics. It'll be fine. Go on, you deserve a rest."

Bao looked at me dubiously. "Just don't blow us up, okay General?"

I chuckled. "I'll do my best."

With a final look at the engines, Bao reluctantly left me to finish the repairs. I knew from the beginning I was screwed. The Hawk's engine is just a little bit more complicated than my lightsaber.

Present

After a few frantic minutes of running around the Hawk, looking for Atton, I heard music... coming from the dorms. I decided to go check it out. I mean he could be listening to some music... As I walked unnoticed towards the entrance, I could make out the words of someone singing...

"I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love, love's going to leave me."

I gawked at the sight before me. Atton was dancing around the dorm, singing into...wait was that MY hairbrush?! And that's not the worst part... He was wearing a leopard-print speedo. Oh force.

"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts. And I'm too sexy for Milan, too sexy for Milan, New York and Japan. And I'm too sexy for your party. Too sexy for your party, no way I'm disco dancing"

As he sang and danced, I noticed he had his eyes closed. He didn't notice me. I had a brilliant idea. As I crept away I called for T3. Atton continued to sing as T3 arrived just in time and seemed to know what I wanted him to do.

"I'm a model you know what I mean. And I do my little turn on the catwalk, yeah on the catwalk, on the catwalk yeah! I do my little turn on the catwalk."

When the word "catwalk" came on he did a Force Hair Gel trademark hair toss. Like in the commercials for the medium hold. I had to clamp my hand over my mouth so as not to burst out in a mad fit of laughter.

"I'm too sexy for my car, too sexy for my car, too sexy by far. And I'm too sexy for my hat, too sexy for my hat. What do you think about that?"

As he sang, Atton was strutting around the room shaking his hips as he walked. I was forced to sit down as I shook from the laughter. Atton would never live this down.

"I'm a model you know what I mean. And I do my little turn on the catwalk, yeah on the catwalk, on the catwalk yeah! I shake my little tush on the catwalk."

Atton had his back to me at this point, so I got a nice view of him shaking his tush on his catwalk.

"I'm too sexy for my, too sexy for my, too sexy for my... Cat!"

Since when does he own a cat? Is he referring to the leopard-print speedo? Oh force. What am I going to do with him?

"'Cos I'm a model you know what I mean, and I do my little turn on the catwalk. Yeah on the catwalk, on the catwalk yeah! I shake my little tush on the catwalk"

Atton kept shaking his little tush on his catwalk while singing. The song was almost over, and Atton decided to sing even louder.

"I'm too sexy for my cat, too sexy for my cat. Poor pussy, poor pussy cat. I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love, love's going to leave me."

Oh force, oh force! He did mean his speedo! He had hooked his thumbs into the front and was twisting like a snake right up close to my face. FRAK! He will never forgive me for this!

"And I'm too sexy for this song."

And with that Atton turned around and opened his eyes to see me trying to control my laughter. I failed. The look on his face was priceless.

"W-w-what are you doing here!?"

"I think the better question is: Where did you get that speedo, and how long has it been on the ship?"

"Uhhh... that's for me to know and you too...not. Anyways see something you liked?"

"That's for me to know and the rest of the crew to have their opinion on." I was grinning like a madwoman. "T3! Run!"

Atton's eyes were like saucers. He gave me a 'no, you couldn't have... Frak, you did' look, before starting to chase after me. He stopped when we got to the common area where the rest of the crew sat already watching his little show. He looked down and saw that he was still wearing nothing but the speedo.

Mira looked up from the recording. "Nice 'tush' Atton, but your catwalk is slightly lacking."

"General, why exactly did you spend so much time watching Atton?"

"Yeah, why were you watching me for that long anyways?"

I felt my cheeks redden. "I though it was funny. And besides, I'm not the one who is still in nothing but a speedo... A leopard-print one at that."

It was Atton's turn to become red in the face. He mumbled something incoherent and raced out of the room, probably to find some pants.

It was then that we noticed a beeping noise. A strange, disembodied voice spoke:

"Life support systems failure. Check oxygen levels at once."

"Umm, General? Did you fix the compression coil?"

"Uhhh..."

fin