Scary Movie 6:
Ch. 1:
Let the challenge start during a full moon
It is a cold and dark bathroom
Dr. Phil wakes up and bumps his head on the sink
He then looks around and sees darkness and hears the sounds of water drops
Dr. Phil:(goes to get up and starts to walk only to see that his foot and torso are chained to something).
He gets terrified
Dr. Phil:(scared and screams) Am I dead?
A voice says, "You're not dead. You've been abducted against your will despite the fight you put up."
Suddenly the lights come on
And on the other side is...
Dr. Phil: Arnold Schwarzenegger? What the hell is going on?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Don't ask me! Because I was doing a scene in Terminator 6 and suddenly everything went black and I woke up here! What were you doing?
Dr. Phil: I was doing a show on how teenagers need to respect their elders and I also woke up here. Oh those teens will be pissed!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Who cares about rude teenagers?! They've been like that and will continue to be like that!
Another voice says, "Ahh what's the yelling about?"
Arnold goes to get up and walk over to that voice only to be stopped and choked by the venus fly trap like device on his neck
Arnold Schwarzenegger: What the hell? What is this?
Dr. Phil: I don't know what it is but it looks like you could still move around.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yeah right then why was it choking me.
Dr. Phil: You're stepping on it.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Oh ha ha(lifts his foot off of the chain).
Dr. Phil: Now who's over there?
Another light comes on
Dr. Phil: Taylor Lautner?
Taylor Lautner: Dr. Phil?
Dr. Phil: That's not all.
Taylor turns the other way
Taylor Lautner: Arnold Schwarzenegger?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: That's right.
Taylor Lautner: What's going on? Because I was doing a scene in a reboot of the Twilight series then suddenly I woke up here.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: You tell us.
Then the tv screen comes on and an Alien is on tv
Taylor Lautner: AHHHH! Alien!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Shut up idiot!
Alien 1: Hello boys! You don't know me but I know each and every one of your kind! You three challenge people for money but today you three will be challenged for your lives!
Arnold, Taylor, and Dr. Phil get dumbfounded
Alien 1: Right now liquid nitrogen is pumping through these air vents around you and you have 200 seconds to unlock your devices or you'll freeze to death. Arnold this one should be obvious to you.
Then the screen shows an X-ray of a heart with a key behind it
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I don't get it!
Alien 1: Ok maybe this should help you get to the heart of things.
Then a device gives him a scalpel
Arnold Schwarzenegger: You want me to cut something?
Alien 1: That should be very obvious yes.
Arnold goes to slit his throat
Alien 1: No.
Arnold then goes to cut Dr. Phil
Alien 1: No.
Arnold grabs Taylor and goes to slit his throat
Taylor Lautner: Are you nuts Schwarzenegger?
Alien 1:(annoyed) No! You humans are so dumb! Arnold the key is behind your heart ok!
Arnold then rips his tank top off, grabs Taylor's arm so he can squeeze it, and then begins making the incision on his chest
Alien 1:(to his brother) Hey get in here this big guy is really going to do it!
Alien #2:(comes in).
Arnold screams in pain as he reaches up into his chest
Dr. Phil:(sees the mist coming in) Hurry up Arnie!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'm trying!
Taylor Lautner: You're crushing my arm(turns to Dr. Phil) He's crushing my arm!
Dr. Phil: It's gonna be ok Taylor. It'll hurt for a few days.
Taylor Lautner: Yeah easy for you to say it's not your arm he's crushing!
Arnold finally gets the key out
Taylor Lautner: Did you get the key?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Yeah I did.
Dr. Phil: Well would you hurry up we're gonna freeze any minute!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'm trying!
He goes then runs off into the mist to try and find the device to stop the freezing process but the mist is too thick
60 seconds are left
Taylor Lautner: What's taking Arnold so long?
Dr. Phil: I don't know!
Taylor Lautner: Now it's down to 50 seconds!
Dr. Phil:(yells to Arnold) COME ON YOU SO CALLED TERMINATOR! SAVE US!
Taylor Lautner: YEAH TERMINATOR WANNABE!
Then a sink comes flying at them
Dr. Phil and Taylor duck
Dr. Phil: Arnold what the hell was that for?
Taylor Lautner: Yeah?
Arnold Schwarzenegger:(yells back) YOU BOTH HURT MY FEELINGS!
Taylor Lautner: Oh here we go!
Dr. Phil: You're feelings?! To hell with your feelings! Everybody and their feelings! I'm obese! My kid's a brat! Who can it be now?! What's next?! I can't take it anymore! Help me! Help me! Just shut up!
He begins to freak out and cry
Dr. Phil: Why can't I fix anyone?! I'm so dumb and worthless! Mama was right! Mama was right!
He cries
Taylor Lautner:(freaking out) WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
He bangs himself against a sink, cries, and screams
Arnold Schwarzenegger:(yells back) Hey! Pull yourselves together! There's no crying in a situation like this!
He then seemingly unlocks the devices stopping the liquid nitrogen
Arnold runs back in all gleefully
Taylor Lautner: What are you jumping around about?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I saved us!
Then Alien 1 comes back on the screen
Alien 1:(laughs).
Arnold Schwarzenegger: What's so funny?!
Alien 1: I tricked Dr. Phil and Taylor!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Excuse me?!
Alien 1: That's right! The key ONLY unlocked Arnold's device and-
Arnold Schwarzenegger: YOU ASSHOLE!
He then runs out
Dr. Phil: What the-
Taylor Lautner: Arnold where are you going?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: To take care of a certain Alien!
Taylor Lautner: Will this save us?
Dr. Phil: I hope so.
Alien 1: You fools just got betrayed by The Terminator himself and-
Alien 2:(screams) Look out here he comes!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Listen here you green asshole you let them go or-
He notices he's on the tv screen
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Hey look at me I'm on tv and-
Alien 1 bitchslaps him
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Ah hell no!
He begins beating Alien 1 up
Dr. Phil: Oh Arnold!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nobody bitchslaps me!
Alien 2:(hits Arnold with a stick).
Alien 1: This is a bunch of bullshit!
Arnold then fights Alien 2
Taylor looks up to the clock
Taylor Lautner: 30 seconds!
Dr. Phil: Arnold get down here and save us!
Taylor Lautner: And sew your chest back up!
Arnold then grabs Alien 1's arm and twists it behind his back
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Tell me how to save my friends! What do I need to do?
Alien 1: They need to cut off limbs but with 30 seconds remaining you'll just have to leave them to die!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: No just re-wind the timer!
Alien 1: I can't!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Why not?!
Alien 1: Because you have my arms behind my back!
Arnold then releases his grip on Alien 1's arms
Alien 1:(re-winds the timer) Ok they have 90 seconds!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Make it 120 or i'll TERMINATE you and your population!
Alien 1: Fine 120 seconds.
He sets the timer to 120
Alien 1: There happy!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Now what do they have to cut?!
Alien 1: I'm NOT talking!
Arnold cracks his knuckles
Alien 1: Ok ok! Dr. Phil has to through his foot in order to save himself and Taylor. Taylor then has to cut his eye out in order to get the key to unlock his device and you have to sew yourself back together.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Why does Taylor have to do anything?
Alien 1: Because his device won't be unlocked when Dr. Phil turns the liquid nitrogen off and unlocks his device.
Arnold raises his eyebrows as if to understand
Taylor and Dr. Phil: What do we have to do?
Alien 1: Dr. Phil you have the key to stop the liquid nitrogen inside your ankle so you have to cut your foot completely off then once it is off you have to get the key and put it in the device behind you then turn it and the liquid nitrogen will stop.
Dr. Phil: Ok I suppose.
Alien 1: Then you Taylor since his key won't unlock your device you must cut your eye out in order to retrieve the key then you unlock your device and the rest is history.
Taylor Lautner:(gulps).
Then Arnold walks back in
Taylor Lautner:(breathing heavily).
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Here you can use my scalpel. It's all washed and sanitized.
Then the door behind Arnold slams shut and locks automatically
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Shit!
Taylor grabs the scalpel then turns to Dr. Phil
Taylor Lautner: Go first Dr. Phil!
Dr. Phil: Bullshit! I want to see your eye out first boy!
Taylor Lautner: No way!
Dr. Phil: That's right you probably don't have the balls of steel to do it! I guess all your school bullies were right! Hell you can't even morph into a werewolf!
Taylor Lautner:(gets tough suddenly) NEVER! WHO'S THE WIMP NOW BULLIES!
He then grabs Arnold's wrist so he can squeeze it and begins the process of removing his eye slowly and painfully
Alien 1: Wow! Didn't think he'd have the guts either!
Alien 2: Maybe we did underestimate him and Arnold!
Taylor finally removes his eye
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Ok Taylor removed his eye! Now it's your turn Dr. Phil!
Dr. Phil: Ok here goes nothing!
He begins to cut his foot completely off
Arnold meanwhile begins to sew himself back together
Dr. Phil finally removes his foot
Taylor Lautner: OH MY GOD!
Dr. Phil: I did it! We're saved!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: No we're not!
Dr. Phil: What's wrong?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: It's a full moon!
Dr. Phil: Ha ha! I'm not falling for the werewolf tale again Arnold!
He then grabs the key out of the base of his ankle then hops to the device
Arnold's eyes change color
Taylor grabs the key, unlocks his device, and then pops his eye back in correctly
Dr. Phil unlocks his device and stops the liquid nitrogen
Dr. Phil: I did it! I saved us!
Taylor Lautner: I saved myself too!
Dr. Phil: Where's Arnold?
Arnold's hands begin sprouting claws and hair
Taylor looks over to Arnold and gets scared
Then a monstrous growl comes from Arnold
Dr. Phil:(scared) What was that?
Taylor Lautner: Uh...Uh...
Arnold's face begins extending into a dog-like muzzle and fangs sprout
Dr. Phil: What's the matter with you?
Taylor Lautner: Look at Arnold!
Dr. Phil: Yeah right I'm gonna see a-
Arnold has now morphed into a werewolf
Dr. Phil:(scared and terrified) A-Arnold?
Taylor Lautner: He did see a Bad Moon Rising!
Arnold's werewolf form growls
Taylor Lautner: RUNNNNNN!
The werewolf grabs Taylor's leg
Taylor Lautner: Dr. Phil save yourself! I'm a gonner!
Then he gets pulled to the other side and torn to shreds
Dr. Phil then goes to try and pry the doors open
Arnold's werewolf form then corners Dr. Phil
Dr. Phil looks over to where a torn up Taylor is, then looks back at Arnold, and realizes he is about to be torn to shreds
Arnold growls
Dr. Phil: Motherfu-
He faints
Then blood begins to spatter everywhere
Alien 2:(screams) WHAT IS THAT THING?!
Alien 1: Don't be crazy it's Arnold! He has a curse on him!
Then Arnold's werewolf form bolts out the door, runs off, and howls
To Be Continued...