WAYS TO ANNOY YOUR PARTNERS
WAYS TO ANNOY YOUR PARTNERS
Mulder sat back in the chair waiting for Scully to come back in. He was just about as bored out of his brain. Almost every case that could be solved had been solved and the others… Well the others were just others. Finally Scully had entered the office and she looked at him with his hands behind his head.
"Ok what is it Mulder?" Scully asked. She noted the look in his eyes, a look with which she was familiar with.
"Scully… I'm bored." Mulder said, "We never sit in the office and just talk do we?"
"Umm no Mulder we don't." Scully sat down.
"All through the FBI I bet there's nobody as bored as I." Mulder sighed deeply, "You know I was thinking."
Scully grimaced. He was about to be annoying, she could feel it coming.
"Wiggles."
"Wiggles Mulder?" Even Scully couldn't prepare herself for that.
"Yes Wiggles." Mulder said, "You ever wander why they get all the kids to do those stupid dances."
"Because it's fun?" Scully knew that, that wasn't going to be the answer.
"It's the perfect way to teach kids how to follow orders." Mulder said, "Today they're dancing to Hot Potato and tomorrow they're marching into a war zone."
"Mulder… You really should go out and get laid." Scully said, "The Wiggles entertain the kids."
"There's more to it to." Mulder said excitedly.
"Of course there is." Scully replied.
"Jeff is a spy." Mulder said, "The one who's always sleeping… But I'm willing to bet all my money that he's not really sleeping." Mulder answered, "And look at the color of his clothes." Mulder slid a photograph over to Scully, "See its purple… A similar shade to the purple that Barney the Dinosaur wore. You know what that means?"
"You're crazier than I thought." Scully replied automatically replied.
"It means that Jeff is a government spy reporting on the kids." Mulder said, "My god Scully this is serious. I've called for around the clock surveillance on Jeff. And…" Mulder pulled something out of his jacket pocket, "And I got two front row tickets to the Wiggles Concert tomorrow night."
"Tell me you're joking." Scully said.
Mulder's failure to reply was all the answer that Scully needed. She rolled her eyes.
"Hey Monica." Doggett was in the car after having too much drinks and it was Monica who gave him a lift home, "You know that people say that you're a certain type of pet person."
"You're a dog John." Monica said.
"Look if it was about that time I drunk from the toilet." Doggett replied, "I was drunk and I was there and I was thirsty."
"That's not what I meant John." Monica said, "You're loyal… You take no guile."
"Well if that's the case then Monica. I have to say you're a cat person."
"That's perhaps the nicest thing anyone has said to me." Monica replied.
"You're spoilt, you think you own the place." Doggett said, "And it takes a hell of a lot more than calling your name to make you come."
"I think you have had too much to drink." Monica said.
"Oh wait I got it." Doggett exclaimed, "You're a pig!"
"Excuse me?" Monica said, "Now that's uncalled for."
"You're not afraid to get dirty." Doggett explained, "You have a pretty thick hide. Oh wait you're a horse. You're big, strong and spirited. And you have such beautiful hair."
"Thanks John." Monica said, "But anyway I still think you're a dog."
"Hey if this also about the time I peed on your plant…" Doggett said.
"For god's sake get out of the car." Monica said and drove off, "Oh John, John, John."
"Hey Scully we got this case." Mulder said excitedly, "There's this man… He can change his looks, his personality. It's incredible."
"He's locked away remember?" Scully asked.
"Not him its another man." Mulder answered, "And do you know that there's a blue police box that travels around."
"I hate to say this Mulder." Scully said, "But Doctor Who is just a TV show."
"But I bet if we go to England we'll find the blue police box there." Mulder said, "And that'll prove that a regenerating time traveler exists."
"Of course there'll be one there." Scully said, "They were made there."
"But don't you see it's a possibility that the Doctor does exist and if we AGGGHHHH that hurts Scully." Mulder cried out, "Why the hell did you mace me?"
"What you do Agent Doggett… Is sharpen the pencil really good and get the lackey between your fingers like that, pull back and release." Mulder was showing Doggett how he made the pencils stick in the roof, "Now you try… Come on."
Doggett tried but the pencil ended up falling to the table, "This is ridiculous Agent Mulder."
"Try it again." Mulder said.
This time Doggett got the pencil to stick into the ceiling, "Ha!" Doggett cried out, "I finally got one to stick."
Mulder carefully aimed for a blank spot in the wall. He thought he had found one since there weren't too many left. The pencil flew straight up to the roof and stuck there for a moment. But the roof could no longer hold the pencils and they all came dropping down at once.
"Oh shit!" Doggett screamed, "My eye! One of your bastard pencils poked my eye. My got that hurts."
Mulder went to check to see if he was alright, "I'm sorry are you alright Agent Doggett?"
Doggett removed his hand from his eye with the help of Mulder's hand, "Got you." He said as he threw a pencil at him.
A/N: Just some silly nonsensical stuff running through my head.