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Lylat Lagoon
Episode 1: The Tropic of Cancer (Part 1)
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Papetoon. An arid desert world home to dusty towns and even dustier people. The dust got so bad at times that the inhabitants needed an escape.
Fox McCloud stepped outside and shaded his eyes with an elbow. Star Fox's internal offices were dimly lit, but outside the searing Papetoonian sun was blinding. Heat rose from the ruddy orange plains and distorted the horizon like one of those content aware scale videos. A fog of low-hanging dust obscured the distant cacti and hoodoos. Most of all he felt the full force of the oppressive, dry heat.
Slippy Toad and Falco Lombardi followed behind him, pausing to adjust to the temperature. All three wore pitch-black sunglasses and carried suitcases on their persons. Fox had merely grabbed a pair from a drawer his father kept positively stashed with shades in the front desk. Every family had one of these drawers—at least Fox assumed.
Behind them lay the personnel complex of Star Fox HQ, where they conducted most of their paperwork, met with clients, played ping-pong, and otherwise lived. Across the airstrip sat the hardened aircraft shelter; it looked like a large tin can lying on its side, halfway submerged in the cracked desert ground. The HAS housed the Great Fox inside, as well as their Arwings and other military equipment between missions, which unfortunately seemed like most of the time.
They stepped onto the asphalt airstrip and cringed after hearing the rubber soles of their shoes begin to pop and sizzle. Walking bare-pawed would instantly cook your feet; in no time you'd have four fry cooks and twelve dads with 'kiss-the-cook' aprons tailing you while trying to baste your feet in barbecue sauce.
They set out towards the hangar, but stopped when a military-grade jeep rounded the personnel complex and drove onto the airstrip. The sand-painted vehicle pulled up right next to them and Fox waved. Two felines—Katt and Miyu—sat in the front, while Fay spread out in back. A veritable mountain of baggage teetered back and forth when the jeep came to an abrupt stop.
"How's it going, girls?" Fox asked, tipping down his shades.
"Ugh," Katt groaned, "this heat will be the death of me. I'm molting worse than Falco."
"Where do you want us to drop our stuff?" Miyu asked.
Fox grimaced at the size of their baggage, which towered higher than a stack of the Chainsmoker's greatest hits—which, come to think of it, isn't actually that high.
"Tow it into the hangar; we'll load it into the back of the Great Fox."
"Alright, we'll meet you in there." Katt waved slightly by lifting three fingers off the steering wheel. The girls drove past and their jeep disappeared into the aircraft shelter.
"Man I can't wait to feel that Aquan sea breeze," Slippy said with a whimsical smile. "The gentle waves, the soft sand, the tropical barbecues, and best of all the salty sea air!" Slippy arched his back and stuck out his stomach, breathing in deeply as if he could smell it now. Though moments later he doubled over in a fit of coughs from the dust.
"And of course, hot chicks in hotter swimwear," Falco snickered, rubbing his wings together. "Though really I'd take Zoness over Aquas any day."
Fox smirked to himself, silently praying it wouldn't erupt into another debate about whose tropical homeworld was superior.
Eventually Slippy recovered his breath. "This was a great idea Fox, inviting the girls down to the beach for summer break. Anything to get us away from the Academy, right?"
Fox closed his eyes and shivered. "Please, no mention of the Academy once we get out there! I need to stop worrying about my grades over this vacation."
"Well I'm sure Miyu and Fay feel the same way," Slippy offered. The fox and amphibian knew the girls from Flight Academy, which had a branch based in Papetoon, given how much military activity and training Corneria conducted on the planet. They were in the same class but never had much of a chance to get to know one another, though that would change during this outing. Katt, on the other hand, was Falco's on- and off-again girlfriend from Zoness. Both the avian and feline weren't enrolled in the Academy, and somehow criticized it more than Fox or Slippy could.
Once inside the hangar Fox, Falco, and Slippy approached the Great Fox's loading ramp, while Katt, Miyu, and Fay dismounted their jeep to advance with their first set of bags. A third trio of figures approached with their own luggage, and they all nearly collided while trying to board the ramp.
"Uhhhh…" Fox trailed off.
The third group was made up of his father, James, as well as Peppy and Pigma. For a few moments they silently exchanged glances.
"Aren't those my sunglasses?" James asked.
"Dad," Fox hissed from the corner of his mouth, "we had planned to borrow the Great Fox to fly to the Aquas space station. We uh... promised the girls."
"Oh… well sorry, Dad's got a business to run, Son. Pepper's paying us to fly a reconnaissance mission to Venom."
Pigma snorted. "HYUK. Did we spoil your little vacation? Heh heh, sorry about that kid."
"Dad, how come you guys always get to use the Great Fox whenever you want but we're never allowed to?"
"Well Son," James stepped over to Fox and patted his shoulder, "that's because we're the Star Fox Primary Squad, and you're the Star Fox Junior Squad. Now, we'll be seeing ya Son!"
Fox, Falco, and Slippy just stood there holding their bags, jaws agape, as the three elder members of Star Fox boarded in front of them. Hydraulics hissed as the boarding ramp lifted off the ground and closed against the Fox's hull.
The girls burst into unconstrained laughter, dropping their bags and clutching their sides.
"What's so funny?" Fox growled, turning to glare at them.
"Oh my gosh! Oh the looks on your faces were priceless!" Katt choked out.
"You were going to borrow a ride… from your dad!" Miyu gasped.
The vulpine's face flushed red while his tail curled between his legs.
Slippy tugged his friend's shirt hem. "Uh, what're we going to do now, Fox?"
"Well, it's quite simple, really." Then so everyone could hear he yelled, "WE WALK TO AQUAS!"
.≋≋≋≋≋≋≋ ≋≋≋≋≋≋≋.
"Attention passengers, this is your pilot, Captain Emile Sunnyhart speaking. But you can just call me Sunny, teehee!"
In the transport shuttle seat behind Fox, Falco sneered, "I hate this guy."
"I love you too!" the pilot's voice came over the intercom, making Falco jump. "Atmospheric entry is now complete, and we are at cruising altitude above Aquas' surface. If you look out your windows, you will see the beautiful waters of the World Ocean!"
Slippy, who was seated next to Fox on the transport, jumped on top of the vulpine and pressed his face up against the glass. "Oooh it's good to be home!"
Fox merely wheezed as Slippy crushed him.
"Wow, it's gorgeous!" Fay said somewhere behind them.
Falco shrugged, not even bothering to look out the window. "Eh, it's alright..."
"We will arrive at Hookworm Resorts in less than fifteen minutes. I hope you've had a fabulous trip!"
Slippy finally got off of Fox and hopped into the transport's center aisle. It was a small passenger shuttle that only carried the six of them plus the pilot at the moment, which was great because they had the ship all to themselves. No sharing seats with satanic screaming infants or overweight passengers (except Slippy—the latter, of course).
"Come on guys, let's organize our luggage so we'll be ready when it comes time to disembark!" Slippy beamed.
Fox rolled his eyes. That meant he'd have to get up and help Slippy, who couldn't reach the compartments above their seats. So he stood and began passing baggage from the overhead compartments down to his classmate while the rest of the team followed suit. Next they started examining the nametags and distributing them.
"Miyu Lynx," Fox read aloud. Looking up to the feline he asked, "I thought your last name was Tsuki… Tsukikagi?"
"Gesundheit!" Fay giggled, covering her mouth with a paw.
Miyu pointed at Fay. "See! It's comments exactly like this that are why I changed my name."
"You should keep it," Fox said, passing her the bag. "Katinese names are cool."
"Not when it sounds like everyone's allergic to you," Miyu grumbled, accepting her luggage.
Falco pulled one of his suitcases off the rack and let it swing wildly down. Everyone in the seating area fell silent upon hearing the castrophany of clinking sounds within. All eyes fell upon him and the suitcase.
"What?" he shrugged. "It wouldn't be a party without… you know…"
Fox pursed his lips. "Falco, we're all underage."
"Yeah, well, if all of us are underage, none of us are!"
"Do you get all your logic from animated films?"
"No, of course not! I watch live action too." Falco set the suitcase down and raised a wing. "Let's settle this democratically. All in favor of bringing along drinks, raise your hand!"
Katt's paw was the first to shoot into the air. Miyu and Fay raised theirs next, while Fay said, "Of course silly! We'd get thirsty if we didn't bring drinks."
Miyu frowned at her from the corner of her eye while Katt rubbed Fay's floppy ears. "Aww, your friend's cute enough to eat!"
Slippy looked at Fox as if apologizing, then raised his hand timidly.
Fox kept his arms crossed.
"Good, the fun people win," Falco concluded. He pulled a second bag off the overhead rack, which clinked louder than the first.
Fox's eyebrows shot up. "Did you even bring anything else? Like clothes or toiletries?"
"I'm gonna level with you Fox, I brought one tube of toothpaste."
"You don't even… Ughhh!" Fox slapped a palm over his face.
"This is your Captain speaking," the same cheery voice came over the intercom. "We are approaching Frappé Island Spaceport. Please take your seats and fasten your seatbelts. And whatever you do, don't come into the cockpit and say hi to me. Also don't look out the windows. In fact it would be best if you sat with your head between your knees and sang something loud. Thank you!"
Fox scratched his ears. "Huh, well that doesn't make any—"
"WE FOOOUND A LOOOVE IN A HOMELESS PLAAAACE!" Fay belted out in a muffled voice.
"Crap!" Slippy exclaimed. Instead of sitting down he raced towards the back of the shuttle.
"Slippy, what're you thinking?!" Fox called after him, cupping his paws over his mouth. "You don't have time!"
"Nature calls! Don't worry, they don't call me the Green Lightning for nothing!"
"You're gonna be known as the Brown Streak if you use that—" But the restroom door slammed shut behind Slippy. "He better do his business in record time," Fox shook his head.
The remaining five passengers took their seats and buckled up, bracing for the slight turbulence before they landed.
Fay sighed, staring dreamily out the window. "The water's so beautiful. There's nothing but bright blue ocean for miles… and miles… and... miles…"
Miyu climbed over her to look out the window, frowning.
"Yo, where is Captain Lobotomy Patient landing us? There's not an island in sight."
Falco and Fox looked out their side of the shuttle. Sure enough, there was no sign of Frappé Island—just endless waves and surf for as far as they could see.
"Well that's not right," Falco said, but Fox had already unbuckled and was racing towards the cockpit.
When he arrived he shook the door handle but found it locked. He pounded on the metal panel. "Hey, open up in there! What's going on?!"
"Don't come in, I'm not decent!"
"What, are you taking a bath in there? I'm coming in!"
Fox turned to find Falco and the girls standing behind him, fixing him with worried expressions. He spread them apart with his arms.
"Gang way!"
The vulpine walked twenty paces from the door, placing his right shoulder forward. Letting out a ferocious roar he charged towards the cabin door like a linebacker.
It broke.
Well, something broke. But it certainly wasn't the door.
Fox crashed against the hatch and found it to be quite immovable. He struck the metal frame with so much force that he bounced back and sprawled onto the floor.
All around him came the encouraging voices of his teammates and friends. With the stars still disappearing from his eyes, a number of helping hands lifted him up and brushed him off.
"Come on Fox! You can do it!"
"Attaboy, Fox!"
Fox shook the specks from his vision, reared back, and charged the door again.
WHAM
For a second time he found himself stretched out on the floor, reeling from a partial concussion.
"Almost there, Fox!"
"I can see the hinges about to give!"
"Yeah, third time's the charm!"
This time when they righted Fox, he had trouble standing up. He blinked rapidly and stumbled about on his feet, trying to locate the door through all the headfog. When he identified it—or thought he did—he charged the door a third time…
…and barreled straight into the adjacent wall.
This time he blacked out, and neither Miyu nor Fay cradling his head and shouting at him could bring him back to the land of the living.
Falco snatched one of Katt's hairpins from her head and jimmied the lock. Swinging it open, he said, "Oh look, the door's open!"
They all rushed into the cockpit, leaving Fox dazed on the floor. To their confusion the chipper shuttle pilot was seated in the captain's chair wearing a parachute and clutching a briefcase full of his belongings.
"Thank you for flying Overbook Airlines. I hope you have a wonderful vacation!" The pig captain flashed a jolly smile so wide it caused his cheeks to obscure his eyes. Then he pulled a lever beneath his chair, and the entire seat launched up and out of a hatch in the ceiling. Falco and the girls rushed to the glass canopy to watch him go. The pink-skinned pilot and his chair fell in free-fall for a few seconds before a parachute opened and slowed his descent. The pig swayed back and forth while gradually becoming a speck in the distance.
"Why that dirty runt!" Katt exclaimed, clenching her fist.
But the pilot was only the first of their troubles.
Two explosions sounded from either side of the shuttle, and the entire ship rocked violently. Pressing their noses and/or beak against the glass, they looked out to see slightly worrying black plumes of smoke trailing from the engines.
Fox stumbled into the room, babbling incoherently at first. Finally he managed to slur out, "Whal's goin' oln?"
"The friggin' pilot bailed on us!" Falco shouted. "And to make matters worse, the engines blew up!"
"There's no one to fly the ship!" Miyu added.
Fay held her head in her hands and screamed, "We're all gonna dieeee!"
The cockpit erupted into complete pandemonium. Falco squawked and violently flapped his wings to the point of creating a cloud of blue feathers. Miyu ran circles around the copilot seat while a still dazed Fox tried to comfort Fay, who sat bawling on the floor.
Katt suddenly stopped her caterwauling as an epiphany struck her. "Hey. HEY!"
Everyone fell silent and froze in place, while Fay continued crying.
"WAAAAAAAAA—huh?"
Katt placed her hands on her hips. "We're literally all pilots!"
The consensus of the room was, "Oh."
Katt shoved Miyu out of the way and took a seat in the copilot's chair. She quickly got a feel for the controls and gripped the wheel.
"Whew, okay, I can do this! It doesn't matter that we're on fire. You all should return to your seats and buckle up! This is gonna be one bumpy ride..."
The rest of the hapless passengers crowded uninvited to her side.
Falco pointed to the altimeter. "You're losing altitude fast! Pull up and gain some height."
"That's the last thing you want to do!" Miyu butted in from the opposite side. She angled her paws downward. "Ease her down gently so she doesn't stall!"
"Why don't you try landing on one of those islands?" Fox suggested, thinking himself quite helpful.
"Nonsense! We'd blow apart!" Falco shot back. "You gotta ditch us in the water."
Katt's claws shot out of their sheaths and stabbed into the control wheel, her knuckles turning white. "Guys, you're mind-flooding me! Could you give me some spa—"
"If she lands in water we'll all drown!" Miyu shouted over her. "Find an island with some nice soft palm trees!"
"No-no, land in the shallows!" Fox shouted back.
"We're all gonna die!" Fay screamed again.
At that moment they broke through a white blanket of clouds, emerging over the sparkling blue waters of Aquas. A small island appeared dead ahead of them.
Gripping the controls with all her might, Katt steered the meteorite of a shuttle towards the island. The shallows rushed swiftly up to meet them.
Drowning out the frantic suggestions of her teammates, she snarled, "RRRRRRRAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!"
.≋≋≋≋≋≋≋ ≋≋≋≋≋≋≋.
The passenger shuttle nose-dived into the water, striking the sandy bottom and tearing up the ground all the way to the island's shore. Water poured in through newly formed cracks in the hull, flooding the rear half of the ship.
Fox was the first to his feet. Somehow the impact had given his head enough of a jolt to knock him back to his senses.
"Abandon all ships!" he ordered.
The shuttle was filling with water fast. Fox helped the others to their feet, then aided Miyu with carrying a stunned Falco.
Katt shook herself back to consciousness. "Hey, I did pretty well considering both engines were out and never having flown a shuttle before."
Fox narrowed his eyes at the dashboard. "It was on autopilot, Katt."
The water level had completely submerged the rear half of the shuttle, leaving only the cockpit and a fraction of the seating area above sea level. But between these two areas was an exit for the crew. Fay was the first to reach it. She pulled the lever but struggled to get the door open. The water threatened to keep them locked in, so Fox and Miyu dropped Falco spluttering into the rising ocean to give Fay a hand. Every inch they managed to force the door open let more sea water gush through, which equalized the water level of the shuttle with that of the outside ocean. With the door open the rest of the way they retrieved Falco and burst from the shuttle, swimming for the shore.
Once on dry land, they dragged themselves further up the beach, sand becoming caked to their soaking wet clothes. Fox sprawled onto his back and gazed up at the sky, gasping for breath. When he had rested enough he sat up and looked back out into the lagoon, which was now muddied with disturbed sand and soil.
The shuttle was more than halfway submerged in water while the protruding wings and front end were on fire. Fox found it hard to believe that a sinking ship could be both underwater and doused in flames at the same time, but then again no one had forced him to watch Titanic. Yet.
"Oh no!" Fay whined, "All of my luggage is in there!"
"Just be thankful we made it," Miyu gasped.
But the spaniel continued, "This is awful! We're marooned on an island! We'll be stuck here for who knows how long! We might starve to death or die of thirst or end up all eating each other!" She gasped, covering her mouth. "Or what if this is like a horror movie?! What if there's a giant sea monster lurking around the island? Or there are frequent tornados full of sharks and eels?!"
"I wouldn't put it past him," Fox grumbled.
"Him?" Falco asked. "Him who?"
"No one. Forget it."
Fay wasn't done panicking. Her voice continued to climb in pitch. "Or-or what if there's a serial killer waiting for us on this island?"
Fox scratched his head, staring at the burning wreckage. "You know Fay, you kind of have a point. Something fishy is going on; not every pilot bails out and blows up their ship's engines just to maroon some students like us on an island. There's got to be more to this—"
"AAAAAH!"
"Fay, get ahold of yourself."
The spaniel pointed out over the water. "There it is! The-the-the creature from the black lagoon!"
Miyu grabbed Fay's shoulders and shook her. "Get a grip! You're just seeing… things…"
Everyone quit arguing and looked towards the lagoon. To their horror an oozing creature of brown muck was climbing its way out of the muddied water.
Falco and Katt leapt to their feet, assuming fighting stances. Miyu just held Fay as she screamed in terror.
"Wait!" Fox interjected, holding an outstretched arm in front of Falco and Katt. "Maybe it doesn't have to be this way."
"What do you mean?" Falco shouted. "That thing's crawling up here to eat and digest us! It's an amoeba with no other instinct but to consume and grow!"
"But what if it's intelligent? What if we could make contact with it? It could be a friend!"
The bolus-like monster climbed up until just its ankles were submerged in the lagoon. It rubbed the muck and bile from its eyes, revealing green skin.
"You guys are mean! You knew it was me all the time."
"Slippy? Is that you?" Fox asked while taking a step forward.
Slippy was furious. "Do you mean you seriously forgot about me? You left me to drown in that restroom! Now I'm covered in all this nasty—"
"Augh!"
"ACK!"
"Yuck!"
"Slippy that's disgusting!"
"Go back, go back!"
Everyone on the beach began slinging sand and shells at Slippy, driving him back into the water.
"Okay, okay! Fine! I'll wash off! Ow, my eye!"
.≋≋≋≋≋≋≋ ≋≋≋≋≋≋≋.
Once Slippy had cleaned himself of his coat of crap, and the fires had burned themselves out or been extinguished in the water, they set to work salvaging as much of their baggage from the wreck as possible. All of their suitcases and bags were soaked, but after laying their clothes and other items out on the beach they dried quite well.
Falco and Fox emerged from the lagoon carrying some of the last few bags. They tripped through the water the rest of the way onto the shore while Slippy ran down to help them.
Fox shook the water from his fur. "That's the last of it. Dang, I never knew my lungs were this strong."
Slippy waved his hand. "Aw that's easy. You two need to swim more, especially you, Falco."
The bird was too tired and short of breath to snipe back, but his eyes said buttloads. He wordlessly turned and flopped back into the water.
Fay and Miyu appeared on the shore, waving at them from further down the beach. They clutched their shoes in hand and ran towards them.
"Well, looks like they're back," Fox observed.
The girls slid to a stop beside them, careful not to tread on the drying clothes.
"Find any signs of civilization?" he asked.
Their ears drooped.
"Nope," Miyu said dourly. "The beach just keeps going on and curving around. Seems like we're stuck on an uninhabited island."
Katt ran up to them from the opposite direction, her face flushed and her lungs short of breath. "I searched the western beach. Nothing there either."
Fay clutched her ears. "Are we gonna be stuck here forever?" she asked in a fragile voice.
"It is looking rather grim," Miyu agreed, scuffing her paw in the sand.
"By my rough estimation," Slippy began scratching lines in the sand, "Given each of our different species, dietary needs, packed food, and potential natural sources… I'd say we have about a week to live. Two—if we eat each other one by one like Fay suggested."
"Oh…"
The group looked dejectedly down at the sand, trying to come to grips with their inevitable deaths.
Falco burst from the waves hauling the suitcase full of beer. He slung it onto the shore with a clink.
"WHOOOOOO! WHOOOoooo… what?"
The avian was met with glares from every side. He felt like shrinking back into the water.
"Hey, hey I think I see a ship!" Katt peered out past the lagoon to the open ocean, shielding her eyes with a paw. She took off across the shore. "Come on! We can't afford to miss this chance!"
With hope daring to raise its head in everyone's hearts they made a beeline for the coast. Following close behind Katt they climbed onto a rocky outcropping that afforded them a better view of the ocean.
Fox squinted into the distance, spotting the same boat Katt had seen. It was a white row boat replete with two men pulling the oars, a third working a camera, and a gorgeous red-furred vixen. She posed seductively for the camera in front of the picturesque tropical backdrop.
"Wait a minute," Fox began, "I think I know her! Yeah, that's my cousin!" Cupping his hands over his mouth, he shouted, "Scarlet! Hey, Scaaarlet! Scaaaaaaars!"
The vixen searched the ocean and coastline for the source of the voice. Finally her eyes landed on Fox, only to widen in horror.
"ROW FASTER, ROW FASTER!"
The oar-men put their backs into, and the boat picked up speed.
Fox was heart-broken. "Scars, where are you going?! Don't you recognize your own cousin?! Don't leave us here to die!"
"Sorry Fox, but I can't afford to blow up again. Adios!"
And with that the rowboat and photo crew disappeared over the horizon. Fox merely stared, open-jawed, as his salvation vanished into the distance.
Katt came up behind Fay and patted her shoulder. "Okay. Now you can panic."
Fay whimpered and sniffed for a minute. Finally the tears bubbled over and she let out a full-blown howl.
"Well, their goes our future at the Flight Academy," Miyu said dejectedly. "All that training and simulation runs and studying for exams are useless to us down here. It was all worthless."
Falco crossed his arms and huffed. "I knew we should've gone to Zoness."
Slippy puffed out his chest. "I for one am proud to die on my own soil!"
"The only thing you've soiled is your pants when the engines on the shuttle first blew—"
"Quiet now, all of you!"
Everyone looked at Fox as he jumped on top of higher rock. He turned to face their sorry band of castaways.
"I don't know about the rest of you, but I for one intend to survive this! Only pathetic weenuses would lie down in the sand and just die. We're grown ass-adults… kinda. We have military training and street-smarts. We don't give up easily. As the leader of Star Fox I choose life!"
Fox's short but passionate speech rekindled the flame of hope in everyone's hearts. They raised their fists and cheered his name several times.
"That's more like it! Now, we have a lot of work to do. Everyone must do their part. So, let's get down to business…"
"To defeat, the Hu—"
"One more cartoon reference out of you Falco, and I swear to god—"
Continued in Part 2...