Reader, this is the first installment of the Frozen in Time series, which will be a series of one shots that detail what happened in between Awareness is the Option (Which, oddly enough, I haven't put here yet) and Slanted and Enchanted. Think of these as portraits into the times of the characters that aren't detailed, but have been softly eluded to in Slanted and Enchanted. The Series won't focus on one character or a couple in particular; rather, it give me a chance to fully develop each character. Hopefully, this will give you more of a background to the content of Slanted and Enchanted. They will be in chronological order, so this installment is directly after Awareness is the Option. It's a little different than Slanted and Enchanted, but my style is still prevalent so I hope you enjoy.

Forward, not Backwards

"So, what you're saying is that I can't possibly be out of the state of despair? That seems to be quite inaccurate. I would say that my life is going quite well, and, I'm devoid of any despair possible."

"Do you have faith then?"

The question caught Theodore off guard for some reason. He understood that he was going to be asked that question sooner or later. It was Anticlimactus' main thesis; after all, "I'm not sure."

"Then you're in the first stage of despair. You've started to recognize the basic act of despairing and you're working towards solving it," Theodore sat in a special topics class at the beginning of sophomore years. Since last year, he had blossomed as a writer and was recommended for this class. It was a senior level course and he was the youngest one in the class. Only 16, most of the other students were confused as to why he was there, and so was he, "If you don't have faith, then you're in despair and, after first recognizing that despair, you can start to move forward."

"But, what faith do you mean? Faith can mean so many things."

"Kierkegaard could mean so many things here. The truth is that nobody knows besides him, but you need to remember that Anticlimactus is a foil of Climactus and Kierkegaard was struggling with religious faith. He's most likely talking about faith in God," the bell rang and Theodore started to put his things together, "alright class, meeting adjourned. Come on Friday with the rest of The Sickness unto Death read and get ready to discuss it," Theodore got up and started towards the door when his teacher stopped him. Mr. Martinez was a Spanish national and he was the tallest Spanish man that Theodore had ever seen. He was imposing, but gentle, "Theo, I think you have a great grasp of the material, but if you ever need help keeping up with things, just tell me. This is a class meant to be ran in a college format after all," Although Theodore had grown a significant amount over the summer, he was still dwarfed by Mr. Martinez. At 5'10", he was still tall; regardless, he still felt miniscule.

"Thank you, Mr. Martinez. I'll be sure to ask," Theodore walked out into the hallway. It was a mess of people fumbling about, looking for the right way to go. The school had become dangerously overcrowded this year. They had seen the largest class to grace their halls since it's opening earlier that decade. The school wasn't equip for the amount of students it was receiving. The navigated his way around everyone, trying to find his way to the last class of the day, Pre-Calculus with Mrs. Marie Harton. She was as strict as they come, and Theodore wasn't as gifted in Math as he was in English. He dreaded that class every day, but there was an upside. It was a class that he had the honor of sharing with Eleanor.

It kept him going on his second block days to know that he would be able to spend an hour and a half with Eleanor as they both went through the hell known as Pre-cal. She was much better at it then he was. She was good at most everything when it came to school; she could do no wrong really in his eyes. They had been together for a number of months now and they were going along swimmingly.

As Alvin would explain, they were at the stage in their relationship where the other person is perfect in every fashion. It was odd; he would go on to say, always when referring to the two of them, that they were able to stay in that stage for so long. They should have gone on to the comfortable with each other stage where they could just be together without obsession. The obsession stayed and lingered.

He walked into the classroom and was blinded by the late September sun. The reflection of it bounced off of the teacher's desk and hit right at his eyes. He shielded himself, but he could still see the image of the sun glancing at him, playing with him, mocking him. Theodore sat down, and Eleanor walked into the room. She was the picture of beauty, but she suffered the same fate as he. She covered her eyes and came and sat next to him. He saw her and his heart arose once again after sinking to its low previously. Her green top flowed gentle over her generous curves and met her dark blue jeans at her waist. She wore a white sash around her waist and a white head band that held platinum blonde hair back in place. She wore it in a ponytail most of the times now, sometimes it would be down. Those were his favorite days. She put her books down and smiled and Theodore.

"Theo!" she hugged him from across the aisle, almost pulling him off of his seat, "How has your day been?" there was still five minutes before class started and the teacher wasn't even in the room yet. Two other people sat with them, across the room, suffering from the blindness that the sun caused.

"To be honest, I'm not sure. I'm not sure about much right now, you know?"

She looked worried, "I don't actually; why don't you explain."

"Well, I was in my special topics class and we've been reading The Sickness unto Death, by Kierkegaard. His thesis is that we are always in despair if we lack faith. I've been thinking, and I think I am despairing, but I'm not sure what to do about it."

She grabbed his arm and her bad, "Come with me," she started moving abruptly and he followed by necessity. He grabbed his bag as they quickly moved out of the classroom and headed towards the door outside. She guided him gently, but with authority as they moved through the now vacant halls.

"Where are you taking me? We can't miss class today. Dave will freak out if he knows I was skipping."

"I think we can learn a lot more where we are going than we would today in Pre-calc," they made it outside. The summer heat was still in play in southern California. It was a warm 65 degrees when they got outside. She stopped holding him and was merely guiding him through the lawn in front of the school. It was warm, the sun made him feel more alive. He put his bag back on as they got to the edge of school property and she took him to an abandoned building. It was dilapidated; he had never noticed it before.

"Ellie, what are we doing here?" Theodore asked as she slowed down to a stop. Without talking, she opened the front door, which had been broken open. It was dark on the inside; it appeared to be an old apartment building. She navigated her way through the broken glass and dusty halls and started up a staircase. Dust and dirt kicked up with each of their steps, "I'll continue to follow you as long as you tell me where you're going."

"Theo, I found this place at the beginning of last year once you moved back and I've been getting this ready for you for over a year now. I thought it might be a good time to show you now that you seem to be going through a difficult time," she got to the top of the stairs and opened another door that led to the roof. The stairwell they were in was completely dark.

"Why are we going to the roof?"

She grabbed his hand again, "You'll see." She opened the door and the sunlight burned his eyes. As he stumbled to regain his bearings, she walked away from him to the other side of the roof. He opened his eyes again and they got readjusted to the changing light. He could see a painting on the ground. It was a poem he had written a few years back for her and she had interpreted it into a painting, "What do you think?"

He was too shocked for words. He searched his mind for anything, but nothing did this moment justice, "I don't even know what to say, Ellie. It's so fantastic!" She ran back over to him and hugged him, "I still don't know what to think about my whole existential crisis, pardon the pun."

She looked up at him with soft and loving eyes. He leaned in and kissed her. It wasn't the first time they had shared a kiss, but it reminded him of all his reasons to be happy again. The memories of the two of them flooded back into his mind. They stayed that way for what seemed to be a lifetime.

She backed away from him, "I have a feeling that I have enough ideas up my sleeve to keep you out of despair for quite some time. I just want you to remember, when thinking about this whole situation, to never look back, always forward." They both laughed. Until the early evening, they stayed at the top of that dilapidated building and reminisced about the past year. It was their sanctuary for the next three years.