#1 CRUSH
Wulf
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.
Credits: #1 Crush (c) Garbage.
Sequel to Stroke of Luck Re-edit, January 2006.
x
I would die for you,
I would die for you,
I've been dying just to feel you by my side, to know that you're mine.
x
Near midnight, outside Falco and Katt's trailer, Corneria City
Fox smiled lightly in drunken haze as his head lolled off to the side again, resting on Falco's shoulder. It was slightly unconfortable, and more than a little odd, but somehow comforting all the same. He still wasn't quite sure of himself, or at the very least, his sexual preferences, but after the ordeal he been slogged through tonight, he was willing to wait until the morning to figure it out. If he could. He hoped that he could...
Fox squeezed his eyes just. His head was starting to hurt again.
He released a hiss of minor pain between his teeth before opening his dull blue (and now bloodshot) eyes to look at Falco, finding the avian struggling between holding him upright, a box of Chinese take-out, and a ring of keys. Fox watched in mild amusement as he juggled the box and the keys, trying to fit the right one into the slot in the doorknob. After a minute or so of jingling, Falco let out a low curse and turned to Fox, shifting his position a little. Fox was slumped heavily against his side, a dopey grin on his face, barely awake.
"You could help me here," Falco said, sounding almost but not quite exasperated. Fox smiled back under heavy eyelids. Silly Falco. He was... almost rather cute when he wass pissed. Soft blue feathers hung in his eyes, the emerald irises shining lightly, catching the glow from the porch lamp.
"Nah, s'okay. 'M havin' fun jush watching."
Falco rolled his eyes, and played with the door some more. "Fox, can I trust you to hold onto the box of take-out? Remember, if you drop it, we won't have any Chinese to eat."
Fox nodded, struggling to stand up straight all by himself. He grasped the box with the Oriental scribbling all over it, holding it close as if it were some kind of spectacular and rare trinket. Satisfied that Fox wasn't going to drop their dinner, Falco turned his attention to the door, and without Fox's weight and the ever annoying take-out box, was finally able to get the door to the trailer open.
I would cry for you,
I would cry for you,
I will wash away your pain with all my tears, I'm drowning on fear.
He reached inside, alongside the doorframe and flicked the lights to the modest livingroom on, tossing his keys onto the coffee table, which slid across the polished surface, leaving a scratch. Falco winced. Katt would not be pleased. He turned around and grabbed a hold of Fox, who almost immediately slumped against his side, still clutching the precious doggy bag. With a great effort of both strength and patience, Falco dragged him in, and kicked the door shut with one foot. He stripped Fox of his jean jacket, then led him over to the couch, and let him fall into the cushions. He turned around towards the kitchen, in search of some forks and a few plates, when a loud thunk reverberated around the room.
Falco wheeled around, only to find Fox slumped over the coffee table, his eyes shut and a lump forming on his forehead. Falco sighed, part of him wanting to just leave him there, if only to watch him deal with Katt in the morning. A small smile curved at the ends of Falco's beak.
He gently wrenched the white box from Fox's paw, setting it down on the coffee table. With a grunt, he slipped Fox into his arms, hefting him up. Best to put him somewhere where he couldn't injure himself, he was pretty far gone. Hoisting Fox in his arms, Falco carried him off towards the back of the trailer, towards his own room. Irony kicked in as he realized just who he was carrying to his room, and heat imbibed Falco's face before he shook it off and rolled his eyes.
I will pray for you,
I will pray for you,
I will sell my soul for something pure and true, someone like you.
He carefully placed Fox on his bed, who immediately curled into a ball, his paws tucked under his chin. Sitting next to him, Falco brushed the fine hairs out of Fox's face, a touch of tenderness that surprised as well as disgusted him. What the hell was happening here? He'd only intended to allow Fox a place to sleep off his drunkenness in peace, maybe talk to him about a few things in the morning and sort out just what the hell it was that Fox had decided he felt for him. He sighed, looking down at the tod.
Fox seemed so much younger as he slept, innocent, as though he hadn't watched his father die or survived a war. He stirred under Falco's ministrations, motions of which the avian had been unaware he'd been continuing, and immediately pulled his wing away, suddenly feeling lost, young and inexperienced, unable to draw upon his usual suave and impassive manner in this new and freakishly weird territory.
Fox smiled up sleepily at him, unperturbed, or perhaps just naive and innocent. "Well, you got me in your bed now, what are you gonna do about it?"
Falco's eyes widened, and he immediately stood up, stepping back from his bed. What. The. Fuck. He swallowed, and grunted, realizing he'd backed into a wall. Fox sat up, rubbing the drunken haze from his eyes. "Falco?"
Falco cautiously raised his eyes from the floor, looking into Fox's darkish blue ones, wide and innocent. The idiot probably didn't even realize what he was insinuating. "Falco? What's wrong? I didn't mean... I mean, it was just a joke, I..." Fox trailed off, blushing and looking at the floor. He struggled to stand up, Falco not making a move to help, just staring, trying to come to terms with things as his mind kept drawing up blanks. "I guess I shouldn't have come. I can call a cab, don't worry, I--"
"No, Fox, I..." Falco swallowed. Fox stared over at him, eyes wide and unblinking in the semidarkness, the moon outlining his form cleanly. Jesus, if only he wasn't so goddamned innocent, things would've been much easier to deal with.
"Stay. Just...stay," Falco finally uttered, his own voice alien to him. What are you doing?
"Alright," Fox whispered, his voice barely stirring the soft feathers of Falco's neck. Fox reached up to pull his face down, obviously hoping for some kind of contact. His fingers stumbled, however, and Falco avoided the affection. He looked down to the tod, who licked his lips, clearly rearing for another go at it.
It was as if they didn't quite understand each other, but unable to look away, for fear the other one might run away. Falco felt his heart speed up a little, but decided he liked it, releasing his breath in a long sigh. He hadn't even realized he'd been holding it in.
Fox smiled, yawning sleepily. There was another silence, but a pleasant one, unlike the awkward one that had preceded it. Falco finally raised his head, as if something had suddenly hit him. He let go of Fox's paws, raising one finger, asking for a moment before disappearing into the gloom.
See your face every place that I walk in,
Hear your voice every time that I'm talkin',
You will believe in me, and I will never be ignored.
He returned a few minutes later, carrying the white box of take out, and two forks.
Fox raised an eyebrow in question. "Forks?"
Falco shrugged.. "I doubt you're coordinated enough right now to eat it with chopsticks."
Fox stuck his tongue out, clumsily snatching a fork. "Could never use 'em, anyways." He scooted over, making room for Falco, who sat, tucking his long legs underneath him. He set the box between them, Fox opening it and greedily boring in. He closed his eyes, face a mask of near euphoria as he chewed, absorbing the yumminess. He opened his eyes, smiling at Falco.
Still not sure about the whole thing, Falco sniffed at the noodley stuff stuck to his fork before popping it into his mouth. It wasn't too terrible, somewhat tangy, with a little bit of sweet in it.
Falco stole glances at Fox between bites, still trying to come to grips with what exactly is was that was going on between them, trying to find some kind of middle ground that didn't seen to exist. Fox was still a bit of a pup; he didn't really have any experience with relationships. Falco, however, was a seasoned veteran when it came to dating and fucking. Everything with Fox was new, untouched, obviously virginal. Some part Falco of Falco appreciated that, and a smaller part even envied it. Plus, there was something undeniably erotic about it, much the avian slight chagrin.
It wasn't as though he was some kind of demented pervert who broke in virgins as a hobby. It was... it was different, somehow. It was nearly precious to him, to know that no one else had had Fox. It was a new and interesting feeling, being close to someone who had yet to be touched. Maybe, because Fox was so innocent when it came to love and sexual arts, what was really so appealing to Falco was the fact that the vupline trusted him so implicitly for it. It was more than just the awkwardness and unsureness that kept him from even kissing, Fox, it was the nervousness, the sheer newness of it all; they hadn't anytime to get used to each other yet
And why should we? What the hell is going on here? What kind of fucked up relationship am I trying to start, here?
Although they'd been friends for several years, leading to and during a brutal war, the bond of friends was quite obviously different from the bond that united lovers.
Falco nearly choked on his noodley stuff with that realization. Lovers? Where the fuck did that one come from...
He'd never touched Fox yet, besides a small grope that he'd hadn't really meant as he was dragging the drunken idiot home. Admittedly, he'd kind of liked it, and wanted to do more things, but something held him back. It wasn't the callowness of Fox, although he'd already decided that it was a turn on. It was the thought of somehow corrupting Fox, the pure, innocent kid, a battle scarred veteran who didn't know dick about sex.
There was the "fag" thing still resting in the back of his head, too. Part of him believed that it shouldn't matter, whether or not Fox sported a dick or a pussy, it was the undeniable fact that he simply felt comfortable in his presence, and held a mild sexual attract for him. The other part was nauseated, confused, and not wanting to progress any further than he had already. Still, something about the whole fucked up situation seemed right, clicking in his mind as okay, giving him the green light to continue.
After all, nothing lasted forever, right? What would be the harm in giving it a go, even if just for the hell of it.
But, then again, Fox seemed to mean a little but more than that...
I will burn for you,
Feel pain for you,
I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart, and tear it apart.
Fox sighed, releasing a loud burp, having eaten his fill, his drunken mind trying to come to grips with everything that had happened to him in the recent hours of his life. It had changed, everything had changed. He eyed Falco, feeling a tiny electric shudder run through his belly, a pleasant little shiver that he had tried so hard to ignore before, the very thing that had sickened and confused him.
He knew that, in the morning, when he was mostly sober, he wouldn't be able to continue running from... whatever it was that he was escaping. Although he seemed to be dealing with the situation better than Falco was, he'd be the first t admit that he was scared. Wearing his heart on his sleeve seemed to come natural to Fox; being a good leader meant being honest with his crew, being sympathetic as well as tough. Mostly, he didn't mind thinking of Falco in such a way. He'd had no previous experience, and with nothing to base his judgement on, he simply reveled in the feeling of connection.
I will lie for you,
Beg and steal for you,
I will crawl on hands and knees until you see, you're just like me.
Falco finished his meal, setting the box and the forks on his bedside table, licking the sauce off his lips, deciding that Fox was quite right; Chinese food had been sent from some saintly figure above.
Fox smiled sweetly up at him, attempting in all his drunkenness to keep awake, though it was becoming increasingly difficult. He yawned again, before he could stop himself. Falco smiled good-naturedly, standing up.
"Guess I could always sleep on the couch, if you want my bed."
Fox frowned for a moment, reaching out to grab Falco's wing, who stopped, turning around to face him. "But I though we could sleep together."
Falco's eyes widened to grotesque proportions, one eyebrow raising high on his forehead. What. The. Fuck. A million scenarios skittered throughout the avian's brain, gut twisting in both desire, and disgust. Are you shitting me?
It was then Fox came to an epiphany, quickly realizing his creepy faux pas. He slapped a paw over his muzzle, trying not to giggle, the entire thing simply seeming absurd to him, rather than fucked up.
"Er- no! I didn't mean it like that, Falco. What I meant was, I want to sleep in your bed, but I also want you in it, too. But just that, just sleeping. 'Sides, I don't think I can really stay awake too much longer." His sentence was punctuated with another burp, and Fox's paws went to his muzzle again, stifling a round of giggling.
Falco nodded, closing his eyes for a moment. That arrangement... would be acceptable to him.
The fuck are you doing, Lombardi?
Violate all that I'm missin'
Throw away all the pain that I'm livin',
You will believe in me, and I can never be ignored.
Falco opened his eyes, startled to find Fox standing directly before him, his body almost pressed up against his own. Fox coyly wound his arms around Falco's hot neck, leaning in to kiss him when the falcon did not try to struggle.
"It'll be okay, Falco. I trust you, as long as you trust me."
Falco stared down at him, sighing, looking into large open pools of blue, burning with need and desire affection, some of which was surely the alcohol. Still unsure of what it was he felt, Falco wrapped his wings around Fox's waist, burying his face into the shaggy fur on top of Fox's head. It felt... nice, calming and somehow right. There was nothing sexual about the embrace; it wasn't a clouded and faithless caress that came before the mindless indulgence of smutty anonymous fucking.
There was a connection.
And it scared him.
I would die for you.
I would kill for you.
I will steal for you.
I'd do time for you.
Fox kissed him again, the barest hint of pressure as he allowed himself to lean onto the taller man for support, feeling the weight of his drinks press on top of him, like a heavy blanket falling over him. "Let's go to bed," he whispered softly against Falco's lips.
Fox let go of Falco and plopped back on the bed, patting it softly with one of his paws. "C'mon," he whispered, smiling up at Falco.
Falco ran a wing through the feathers atop his head, knowing Fox wouldn't take "piss off" for an answer, surprising himself when he felt the need to put a rein on his hormones. Fox had always been a romantic; a quick fuck was not in the itinerary.
Falco sighed, crawling into his bed, Fox inching up beside him, burying his face in the crook of Falco's neck, blowing his hot breath across the tiny feathers there. Falco rested his chin upon Fox's head.
You're... so fuckin' stupid.
...all well.
I will wait for you.
I'd make room for you.
I'd sink ships for you,
Take the cross for you.
"Uum..." Fox trailed off suddenly, trying to intertwine his legs with Falco's.
Falco yawned, slightly annoyed. He was tired, beat from the strain of the day, and had been drifting off before Fox spoke up. But then again, he'd found out earlier, that a drunk Fox meant a loquacious Fox... He hoped this wasn't a habit.
"Yes, Fox?"
"I ah, just wanted to say, uumm... I like your room."
Falco sighed.
"That um... that wasn't what I meant to say. What I meat to say was, uh... You have really great..."
"Go to sleep, Fox."
"But I--"
"Fox..."
"You have really great legs. That's all, I wanted to say that you..."
"Fox..."
"Okay, I'm done now, Faaahhhh--lllco!"
"I told you to go to sleep, Fox."
"Ow."
"Fox... shut up."
"Meanie. Ah...I...like you, Falco."
"I like you too. Now shut the hell up."
But upon further inspection, Fox was already asleep. Falco wanted to frown, slightly miffed that Fox was able to pass out so quickly after keeping him awake. Rolling his eyes again, he tucked the head of his neurotic lover underneath his chin, letting his eyes drift closed.
Make me a part of you,
Because I believe in you.
I believe in you.
I would die for you.