A/N: Hello all! So I was struck with inspiration and typed up a 22 page oneshot in one night. I then decided to split it into a two-shot because it was so long!
So, I feel like Aiichiro Nitori is very overlooked in this series. I mean, he seems like a happy-go-lucky lovable character, but I feel like his emotions run a lot deeper than he lets on. Kind of like Makoto, he hides his feelings behind a smile. I also feel like his friendship with Rin isn't very important in the series, and he's just some little kid that adores Rin. I think there's a lot more to Ai and to his friendship with Rin. I also wanted to look more in depth to what life was like for Rin at Samezuka. We catch angsty bits and pieces, but I kind of forgot that Rin has to study and he might have friends that he hangs out with and he likes to watch scary movies at night and that he has the same life problems as some of us. I wanted to make Ai and Rin more relatable as characters and give Ai the attention he deserves.
ALSO I LOVE ANGST! I LOVE READING ANGST AND I LOVE WRITING ANGST! HIGH ANGST ALERT (but a fluffy ending don't worry I don't kill off characters) (yet)
Disclaimer: Yeah I don't own this show...
Also this entire two-shot is pure bromance. No yaoi. Just friends being good friends.
Enjoy!
Broken Without You (Part I)
Aiichiro Nitori's bright blue eyes filled with tears as he watched Rin zip up his duffel bag. "Rin, I know that we've only roomed together for a year but I just wanted to say thank you for everything you've done!"
"Dude relax, what are you getting so emotional about?" Rin asked, looking up at the smaller swimmer from where he was crouched on the floor. "We're just changing rooms because it's a new school year…" He grabbed his duffel bag and rose to his feet.
Ai sniffed. "Yeah, I suppose you're right." Rin grinned and crossed the room, placing a hand on Ai's head and ruffling the boy's hair.
"I won't be around to clean up after you so you'll have to deal with your own mess," he chuckled. Ai groaned. "Later!" Rin turned and headed towards the door. "One more thing," he added, pausing in the doorway.
Ai leaned forward eagerly. "What is it?"
"Just make sure you look after this guy too, kay?"
All of the sudden, Momo dashed around Rin and jumped into the room. Rin chuckled again as he walked out the door and down the hallway. "Yo, bro! How cool is it that we're rooming together? I think it's better if I take the top bunk though, right?"
Ai wanted to speak up and say that he preferred the top bunk, but he didn't have the heart to. "Yeah, sure. Okay," he agreed miserably.
Momo was oblivious to any amount of hesitation is Ai's voice. "Alright! Woohoo!" he cheered, jumping onto the bottom bunk and bouncing around.
"I mean, I'm glad he joined the swim team and everything but the thought of sharing a room with Momo for a year makes me a little bit sick to my stomach…" Ai thought as he watched the red-headed boy attempt to do the Worm, shouting gleefully the whole time. He sighed. This would be a long year.
Meanwhile, Rin walked down the hallway and found his new room, which he would share with Sousuke. He opened it without knocking. Sousuke was sitting in the bottom bunk, surrounded by boxes. "Rin," he spoke immediately. "If I remember you're more of a bottom bunk type of guy." Rin walked over to him.
"Yeah," Rin affirmed. "But something tells me you are too." Sousuke stood.
"Let's go!" they chanted at the same time, cracking their knuckles so as to appear intimidating. They jumped into their rock-paper-scissors stances. Rin accidentally knocked a piece of paper on the desk onto the floor. Sousuke grabbed it.
"Iwatobi fest?" he asked, examining the brightly colored flyer.
"Oh yeah! Gou sent that to me actually," Rin shrugged.
"The fest is today. What, are you not gonna go?"
Rin sat down on the bottom bunk and then flopped onto his back. "Eh, I don't have time for that stuff."
"Hey, you oughtta go see her sometimes. It makes her sad when you get all withdrawn and distant," Sousuke commented, sitting down next to Rin. Rin grunted in response. Suddenly, the door was flung opened. There stood a very excitable Momo and a completely done looking Nitori.
"What are you guys talking about? Is it Gou?" Momo asked, bouncing up and down.
Rin crossed the room and started dragging Momo out the door. "If I were you I would hurry up and get to the pool.
"I can't breathe!" Momo gasped in response. Ai sighed and despondently followed the captain and the newbie down the hallway.
###
The school year started out alright for everybody. Ai launched into his classes with zeal and enthusiasm. He wasn't a naturally intelligent person, but a lot of hard work usually granted him amazing report cards. Momo on the other hand was a different story. He'd rather screw off than do his homework or study for tests. At first that wasn't a huge problem until he started distracting Ai.
"Come on dudddde! Let's just go out and have fun this one night! It's Friday! We don't even have school tonight!"
"I can't Momo, I told you that a million times! I have a huge test on Monday and I need to spend the weekend studying!" Ai ran his fingers through his hair and stared at the math problems in front of him.
Momo peeked over his shoulder. "C'mon man these problems are easy! I could do them with my eyes closed! Let's go have fun!"
"I really have to stay here Momo," Ai said firmly.
"I'm not leaving until you come with me."
"I'm not going."
Momo's response was to blast Taylor Swift songs and scream the lyrics for an hour straight. Ai tried so hard to complete his math homework but he couldn't focus with the noise and the racket. He winced as Momo grabbed childhood stuffed animal and danced around with it, but he was too shy to ask Momo to put it back and he didn't want Momo to tease him about his sentimentality towards the stuffed bear.
After an hour, several tear drops fell onto Ai's binder. He was holding his pencil so hard that it nearly snapped in half. Why couldn't Momo just leave him alone? Everything came so naturally to the goofy kid, he never studied but he still made decent grades! Ai put his head in his hands. What was wrong with him? He glanced at the clock. 9pm. He knew he wouldn't get anything done now that Momo was watching re-runs of Indiana Jones on his laptop with the volume turned up.
"Fine, I'll go do something fun," Nitori relented. The pit in his chest was already starting to grow as he thought of how he was going to fit his homework into his busy Saturday schedule.
"AW YEAH!" Momo screeched. He grabbed Nitori's hand and yanked the boy out of the door. They ended up eating at a restaurant and then going into a motorcycle shop. Nitori had to ignore his growing anxiety as Momo examined every make and model and asked for Ai's opinion of the color schemes. When they finally got back, Ai tried to sleep but failed miserably because of how worried he was. He got his test back the following Wednesday with a big red C at the top, along with a frowny face.
The next several weeks were a repeating pattern. Momo would bug Ai almost every night, trying to convince him to binge-watch shows, go out to eat, or go to parties. At first he would bug Ai until he relented, and then Ai wouldn't sleep that night out of worry, and then his grades would go down. Eventually Momo just gave up and hung out with his other friends.
Ai supposed he should be glad that Momo was finally out of his hair. He was so tired of trying to defend himself every night while Momo danced around and complained about how easy his homework was for him. He never offered to help Ai with his. Momo proudly plastered the bulletin boards with his tests, all covered in A's and B's and star stickers. Then he would call his big brother and tell him all about how his school was going and his new backstroke record and his failed attempts at flirting with Gou.
Ai was getting tired. Tired of studying all night to receive an A and watching Momo skip into the class five minutes late and get the same grade. Why was Momo so much better than him at everything? Why was everyone so much better than him at everything? It made him feel miserable and he constantly doubted himself. His only comfort was being able to see Rin and Sousuke. Rin was his only friend other than Momo, and Sousuke didn't ever push him away so he supposed that counted. He hoped that Rin was having fun with his new roommate, because Ai sure wasn't.
Rin was having fun with his new roommate. At least at first. Sure, he was a little bitter about losing the RPS fight and having to sleep in the top bunk, but he got over it. He and Sousuke swapped a lot of childhood memories and joked around. They kept out of each other's way when studying. They compared times and records of the swim team and talked about how exciting their futures were going to be.
Of course, they still fought with each other. Quite frequently, to be honest. They fought over who got which desk, what TV show they would watch, who got the bathroom first in the mornings, if they were going to eat in the cafeteria or go out to eat, where they would go out to eat, and who was paying. It didn't bother them at first. That was how it always had been.
However, after two months of non-stop arguing it began to get on Rin's nerves a bit. He couldn't do a single thing without having to fight Sousuke for it or listen to Sousuke's sarcastic comments. He couldn't so much as text Makoto without Sousuke teasing him about being all mushy with his old friends. Sure, Rin knew that he paid them a little more attention than necessary but they were his friends.
Rin finally snapped after a particularly heated debate over whether or not they should let the Iwatobi Swim Club come for a joint practice. Rin was all for it, Sousuke was dead-set against it.
"You baby them too much! It doesn't matter if they skip one practice because of the weather!" Sousuke insisted, glancing outside at the angry storm clouds.
"Yeah, but why should they if we have an indoor pool? It's four guys, not thirty! They never get in our way or anything!" Rin argued back, angrily pulling his hair into a ponytail.
"We've been working on our secret training regimen for weeks, Rin! Do you want them to see it and start using it? Heavens knows they give us a run for our money without it! We can beat them this year!"
"Does it really matter if they see it? They're my friends!"
"Yeah, well for the rest of the team they're rivals! We don't want them getting a hold on the only edge we have! Is that what you're going to tell the team when Iwatobi beats them in every event? 'It's alright, they're my friends!' Honestly, Rin!" Sousuke threw his hands up. "What if Nanase beats you in every event and you never get scouted? You'll lose your dreams if you keep doting on your friends!"
"I'm not going to turn them down because of that! We all know I can swim just as fast as he does and even if I lose we'll both be scouted anyway! I don't see how any of this is your problem! Your future is already all set up for you! Focus on that and stop complaining about how I'm going after mine!"
"CAN YOU JUST FORGET NANASE FOR A SECOND AND FOCUS ON YOUR OWN SELF?" Sousuke yelled at him.
"NO, DAMMIT! THEY'RE MY FRIENDS! I WOULDN'T BE SWIMMING WITHOUT THEM! JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK FRIENDSHIP IS A LOAD OF CRAP DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO GET ON MY CASE ABOUT IT!" Rin yelled back, backing Sousuke against the wall.
Sousuke's eyes hardened. "I don't think friendship is a load of crap…"
"Yeah right, you could've fooled me. Ever since you came back you've done nothing but treat me like crap. You boss me around, you argue over everything, you nag me and doubt my choices! Why can't you just be accepting and leave me the hell alone?"
"We're different! You said it yourself! We're more like rivals!" Sousuke insisted.
"Well then why don't you move to a different school and then we'll be nothing but rivals," Rin hissed. He grabbed his workout jacket and stalked towards the door.
"If you go out there you're going to get sick!" Sousuke yelled after him. Rin ignored him. "I'm not taking care of you if you start throwing up everywhere!" Rin slammed the door in his face. Sousuke sighed and turned back to his homework.
Meanwhile, Rin ran through the storm. The rain pelted on his face and blurred his vision, but he kept going. Finally, he stopped at a little convenience store and ducked inside. The shop owner gave him a dirty look, and he realized that he was dripping water all over the floor. He shook himself a little. His hair was tangled up and plastered to his face. Suddenly, he heard a familiar voice.
"But Reeeeiiii! It's not raining that hard!"
"Nagisa please, we are waiting here until it lets up! Makoto will have our heads if we get sick just two weeks into training!" the blue haired boy argued back. He turned the corner and came into Rin's sight.
"We won't even get that wet!" Nagisa whined.
"I beg to differ," Rin interrupted, lifting his arms to show them the water dripping off of his jacket. They both looked up.
"Rin!" Nagisa exclaimed, enveloping him in a hug despite how wet his clothes were getting.
Rei walked up to them. "Rin!" he said, sounding surprised. "What are you doing out in the weather?"
"I could ask you the same question," Rin answered, clearly amused.
"Nagisa wanted some food, so we walked over here. It started raining just as we arrived. How about you?"
"I just went out for a quick run."
"In the rain?" Rei raised an eyebrow. Rin sighed.
"I got into another fight with Sousuke. Needed to get away for a bit."
"Another fight?" Nagisa asked. "But I thought you and Yamazaki were good friends! That's what Haru said!"
"Well, Sousuke and I are more like rivals than friends. I mean, I like the guy but we don't exactly click."
"So you're not friends?"
"I didn't say that!" Rin stuttered. "We just don't get along a lot! It's kind of hard to live with him all the time."
"I thought you were roommates with Ai-Ai?" Nagisa asked. Rin shook his head.
"We switch roommates every year at Sumezuka."
"Oh. Well I hope it works out! It looks like the rain stopped so we're gonna make a break for it! We're going to go to Haru's house for a sleepover! Have a good evening!" Nagisa called. He and Rei took off, running towards the big city buildings. Rin sighed. It sounded like they were all going to have a fun evening. Without him. It wasn't raining anymore, but the water dripped off of the trees. The street lamps gave the dark and misty road a strange appearance. He headed back to his dorm room.
When he got there, Sousuke was already asleep. Rin took a hot shower and went to bed. In the morning, they started their usual "who got the bathroom first" fight and the day continued on as normal. Sousuke appeared to be completely unbothered by the fight, and he didn't comment on it. Rin was very bothered by it, and the fact that Sousuke didn't seem to think it was a big deal made everything worse.
"Are you alright Rin?" Ai asked, walking beside him at practice. Rin glanced over and noticed that there were dark circles under Nitori's eyes, and the bright blue orbs had lost a bit of their shine.
"I'm fine, Ai," Rin lied. "How about you?"
"Great, just great!" Ai lied back. He didn't want Rin to know that he really was exhausted and felt worthless. He could tell that Rin was upset about something and Ai couldn't bear to burden his friend with his own stupid problems. They separated in the locker room and Ai went over to his locker, where Momo was standing and talking to some other second years about how fast he had gotten. Ai sighed as he recalled his breast stroke time for that day. It wasn't very impressive.
Ai managed to survive another week on minimal sleep. On Tuesday night, Momo had blasted his music so loudly while Ai was trying to read over
some flashcards that it had gotten both of the boys a detention. Nitori and Momo had clean the gym late at night on Thursday. Momo had goofed off the whole time, trying to get Ai to play basketball with him. Ai ignored him and kept cleaning, because the whole thing had to be spotless before they could go to back to their dorm.
He finally crawled into bed and fell asleep, mind burdened with the thought of the half-completed science homework he would be handing in the next day. Maybe he could get up extra early and finish it.
He was in the Sumezuka pool, but everything appeared distorted and out-of-place. He was standing on the starting block. Turning his head, he saw Momo on the block next to his.
"On your marks, get set, go!" someone called. Momo dove into the water. Ai realized what was happening and dove in a second after him. Why where they racing? He couldn't remember. They didn't even swim the same strokes! But looking up, Ai realized that Momo was swimming the breast stroke. Ai gritted his teeth and threw himself at the water. There was no way Momo was going to beat him at his own stroke!
His hands slammed against the wall and he gasped for air. Looking at the clock, he realized that it had taken him a full four minutes to swim 100 meters! Momo was already out of the pool and talking to people. Ai felt his eyes fill with tears. It was physically impossible to be that slow! Even drowning would be more impressive than that time!
"I'm disappointed with you, Ai." He looked up suddenly and saw Rin staring down at him, eyes filled with disappointment.
"Rin, I-"
"You'll never make it to the big leagues with a time like that," Sousuke interrupted. "You won't even get into low-expectation college."
"Sousuke… Rin..."
"Just get out of the pool, Nitori," Rin sighed.
"But-"
"Didn't you hear me? I said GET OUT!"
Suddenly, Ai was sitting in the counselors office. His guidance counselor examined his report card and sighed. "Listen, I don't know what's been going on with you, Mr. Nitori. You used to be a pretty decent student. Detention, an F in three classes, Cs and Ds in the rest, and I've heard from your swim coach that you're not doing well with swimming either."
"I'm sorry, sir! I'll do better! I promise!"
"I just don't understand it. But we have several new students transferring into Sumezuka and we really don't have room for them. They have very impressive grades and athletic records. They would do our school proud. So unfortunately, we are going to have to have some of our weaker students transfer to a different school."
"Sir… You don't mean… I couldn't…"
"This will be your last week at Sumezuka Academy, Mr. Nitori. After that you will be transferred to Sano High School. I hear they have a rather impressive basketball team! I already have it squared away with your guardian!"
"But I don't like basketball! I want to swim! I want to stay here! I want to be with Rin!"
"Mr. Nitori, please leave my office and gather your things."
"You can't do this!"
"Just leave!"
Ai woke up with a start. Breathing heavily, he scrambled into a sitting position and looked around frantically. Pictures of stag beetles and otters plastered on the walls, candy wrappers all over the floor, and a loud snoring sound coming from above him. He was in his own dorm. He shakily brought his hand to his chest and clutched the fabric of his t-shirt. It was only a nightmare.
"Why didn't Rin wake me?" he thought. Rin always woke him up when he had nightmares, so he generally never had them for longer than two minutes. Rin was a light sleeper and Nitori tended to make a lot of noise when he had nightmares. Except that Rin wasn't here. Because Ai was in the bottom bunk. And there was snoring above him. Rin didn't snore. "Oh, right," Nitori whispered. He recalled that Momo was a heavy sleeper. Tears began rolling down the boy's face. Why wasn't he good enough? He would never make it into college, he would never be worthy enough to swim with Rin. He would never be good enough for anything!
He spent the rest of the night staring at the bunk above his, crying and hoping that Momo might wake up and come down to comfort him.
He didn't.
###
About a week after their argument, Sousuke and Rin had almost stopped talking to each other. It was unavoidable because they lived together, but they were as silent as possible. Rin would come back from swimming and sit and do his homework in silence while Sousuke did his homework in the library or something. The problem was, Rin was never very good at focusing and holding himself accountable. Usually he had Ai around to remind him to study. Rin remembered that Ai needed complete silence while he was studying (and he studied a lot) so Rin usually gave up doing anything in the evening that made noise and studied with him.
It had never really occurred to Rin that he was doing so well in his classes because whenever Ai studied, he studied. He had never even realized that the two of them had that kind of study ritual every night. He had just subconsciously gone along with it. But without Ai around, Rin ended up playing games on his phone or watching Netflix instead of studying.
He started having to turn in incomplete homework. At first his teachers were understanding. He was the captain of the finest swim team the school had ever had, he was bound to be busy in the evening. But when he started failing quizzes, they took notice. Several of his teachers approached him about it. Rin made a goal in his mind to study more. Every night he would sit down at his desk and pick up his pencil, only to put it down again and text people or read the latest swimming magazine. His grades started to go down, slowly but surely.
If Sousuke noticed, he didn't comment. He just came back from the library every night, took a shower, and went to bed. Occasionally one of them (usually Rin) would make an attempt at conversation, but would be immediately shot down with one-word answers. Rin started feeling lonely. He texted his Iwatobi friends every night, but they were all busy with training and hanging out and they didn't have much time for him. He even texted Haru a lot. To be fair, Haru responded occasionally. Rin hoped Haru hadn't suspected that it was because Rin felt lonely.
Rin saw Ai and Momo at practice every day, and sometimes in the halls. Momo was always hanging out with a popular crowd of kids and didn't say much to Rin. Ai was always somewhere near Momo, close yet also distant. Rin wished he could talk to the grey-haired swimmer. He missed having Ai ask him dumb questions about new training regimens and which shirt he should wear that day. It was annoying at the time, but looking back on it Ai's dumb questions were the only thing that kept Rin sane during his dark period when he had first transferred to Sumezuka.
He wished he could talk to Ai more often, but the kid looked troubled. Rin was sure he had his own problems and he didn't want to burden Ai with more. He knew that Ai wouldn't mind listening to Rin. Ai was the only person in the entire school that knew about Rin's sweet, soft, and over-emotional side. Rin frowned as he remembered the day that Ai had shown him a cat meme. Rin had tried not to laugh, he really had, but he failed tremendously. He laughed and then his face turned red and he threatened Ai with all sorts of things that he would to do him if it ever got out that Matsuoka Rin laughed at cat memes.
Ai was also the only person that let Rin break down. Rin could scream and yell at Ai all he wanted, and the boy would just wait for Rin to calm down
before offering encouragement and helping him get back on his feet. Ai also let Rin cry about stupid things, something Sousuke would never let him do. Sousuke got annoyed and told him to get over it, so Rin hid his feelings from his childhood friend. After a long year of yelling and sobbing, thinking that Ai hated him for it, Rin realized that the boy didn't. He was the only one who ever stuck by Rin no matter what. And that meant a lot.
Rin pulled out his phone. It was 2:00am in the morning. He sighed. Makoto had already told him he was going to bed, and it was far too late to strike up a casual conversation with Rei or Nagisa. Haru wouldn't respond. He could hear Sousuke snoring below him. He wouldn't have wanted to talk to Sousuke anyway. He sighed and typed out a message against his better judgement.
Rin: Hey, you still awake?
Ai: Yes
Rin: Why? Plz don't tell me your studying
Ai: youre*
Rin: Stop correcting my grammar and answer the question
Ai: yes im studying. Some people don't just get good grades magically okay!
Rin: Chill man. You should get some sleep
Ai: Omigosh im so sorry Rin! I didn't mean to snap at you! I'll go to sleep right away!
Rin: thank you
Ai: Goodnight
Rin: Night
Rin rolled over and put his phone back on the charger and went back to staring at the ceiling.
Meanwhile, Ai was sitting at his desk, cursing himself for being so stupid. How could he have snapped at Rin like that? A tiny part of him hoped that Rin would notice something was wrong and ask him about it. But then again, why would Rin notice what was wrong? Ai wore his carefully crafted smile wherever he went. He laughed at any joke he heard, he covered up his yawns pretty well. He had even resorted to using waterproof concealer to hide the dark circles underneath his eyes. Never did Ai think he could ever sink so low.
He knew that Rin would be more than understanding. As unapproachable and lofty as Rin appeared, he was really sweet underneath the tough exterior. He often would handle Ai's breakdowns. He would listen to the younger boy talk about his anxiety and his school and his swimming times for hours, or just hold him and let him sob. Ai would often do the same for Rin. Rin was very sensitive, but he liked to hide the things that bothered him. Every once in awhile the pain became too much and Rin would completely break. Ai was always there for him, usually with a bucket of ice cream or a scary movie (even though Ai hated scary movies).
Ai sighed and rolled over, ready for another night full of nightmares that no one would wake him from.
###
Two weeks later, Ai could no longer hide how broken he was. Even Momo was starting to notice. He did stupid Momo-like things to make Ai feel better, such as giving him his own pet stag beetle or offering to take him to the movies as a distraction. Ai appreciated it, he really did. It just wasn't what Ai needed. He started caving in on himself. He rarely talked to anyone. He stayed up all night studying because Rin wasn't there to make him sleep. When he did sleep nightmares plagued him. Finally his aunt (his only living relative and his legal guardian) took him to the doctor.
Ai returned to Sumezuka Academy that afternoon with a diagnosis of Depression and a small bottle of pills. He hid the pills from Momo, taking them as instructed but avoiding mentioning them. He knew Momo would go to Rin and tell him. Not that Ai was against telling Rin. He just didn't want to bother Rin because the maroon-haired swimmer constantly looked so broken.
He was way thinner than he should be. Even with his constant amount of exercise, Rin had always maintained a healthy weight. If you don't eat, your muscles won't get stronger. Rin's times were getting slower, second by second. He and Sousuke never talked, and when they did it was with short, harsh words. Rin never usually dished out smiles, but Ai hadn't seen him smile once in the past two weeks. He wanted to approach Rin about it, but he was scared. Scared that he would break down and cry and then Rin would freak out and make Ai spill everything and then Rin would worry about him, which is what Ai didn't want. So he kept his distance.
###
Over the past two weeks, Rin's diet had changed drastically. Namely, he wasn't eating.
It's not that he didn't want to eat. He wasn't suffering from lack of a will to eat. He was more than happy to stuff his face when there was food in front of him. He just forgot to eat a lot. He ate lunch every day because he was in the cafeteria and the food was right there, but he often woke up late and rushed to class without breakfast. In the evenings, he would sit and worry about his awful grades, worry about studying, get distracted and not study while worrying about not studying, sit in an empty room and question why he had no friends, and then get a rough night of sleep.
He was barely holding himself together as it was. Then the nightmares started.
They came every single night. Rin used to have the occasional nightmare, usually when he was worried about something, but now they were relentless. They plagued him and he woke up screaming and sweating, hot tears filling his eyes. They were all about things like his father's death, his friends leaving him, his future being pulled from his gasp, and failure. They haunted him all throughout the day.
At this point Sousuke tried to talk to him about it multiple times. He didn't ever hear Rin screaming in the night (Sousuke was a heavy sleeper) but he heard the rumors flying around that someone in the dorm was screaming at night. Put together with the dark circles under Rin's eyes and the haunted look in the normally bright and passionate red orbs, and Sousuke knew something was wrong.
However, he didn't really know how to go about inquiring about it. He was never that good at comforting people. Whenever Rin was upset as a child he would challenge the boy to a race, and all sorrow was forgotten. But competing seemed to be the last thing on Rin's mind, and his times failed. Sousuke tried to talk to Rin but was repeatedly shoved away. Rin seemed to close himself off, build a wall around himself and become angry and bitter and full of emotion that was slowly destroying him. It was much like what happened in Australia.
Maybe if Rin wasn't so broken he would've noticed Nitori's times getting slower and slower. He would have noticed the boy's silence, and how his enthusiasm was completely gone now. He would have noticed how the boy looked sad and worn down and unkempt in the halls. He would've noticed the gossip spreading around the school about his friend's depression. He would've noticed the mocking glances and words the other students threw at the gentle soul. He would've noticed how the boy's eyes looked red around the rims all the time, and how they were completely dull and lifeless. He would've noticed how the bright flame that was Aiichiro Nitori had been completely extinguished.
Rin grew weaker and weaker until one day at practice his body completely gave up on him. He was walking around the edge of the pool, yelling advice to a few of the first years. His stomach hurt from the lack of food, but he told himself to wait until after practice before eating. He also felt a bit dizzy, but he didn't let it bother him.
"Hey, Testsu! Keep your arms straight! They're flying all over the place likes limp noodles!" he barked. The first year nodded and fixed his stroke. All of the sudden a wave of dizziness rushed over the captain, and he had to lean against the wall to stop himself from falling over. After a few moments it passed, and Rin stood straight again. He glanced around but no one had noticed. He saw Ai finish a lap and yank himself out from the water, gasping for breath and leaning against the edge of the pool. He looked exhausted.
"That's odd, we just started practice. Maybe he's sick. That's just like Ai, to get sick and not tell me. I'll talk to him after practice." Rin felt a stab of guilt as he thought about how he had been avoiding the boy.
"Yo Captain! Is this better?" another first year yelled to him. Rin turned to look but the dizziness hit him again. He tried to stumble towards the wall but his knees buckled and he tripped. The last thing he remembered was someone screaming his name before his head connected with the tile floor and everything went black.
#
Ai had finished a 400 meter breast stroke when he knew he couldn't swim anymore. His whole body felt like it was filled with lead instead of blood and his lungs burned. He went to pull himself out of the pool when he heard one of the first years scream "Captain!" and he heard a loud crack. He turned just in time to see Rin's head hit the pavement.
"RIN!" he screamed. Sousuke looked up and started running to where Rin had fallen. Ai tore across the pool, his stroke propelling him through the water at untold speeds. He yanked himself out of the pool, gasping for breath as he knelt next to Rin.
"Rin?" Sousuke asked, kneeling beside the captain. He flipped Rin over onto his back. There was a large bump on his head that was swelling. His face was white, which made the dark circles underneath even more apparent. His breathing was shallow. Sousuke turned to Ai. "Look, I need you to get the rest of the team back to work. We don't need thirty guys crowding around and panicking. I'll take Rin back to our room."
"Why don't you handle the team and I'll take care of Rin?" Ai asked vehemently.
"Because you can't carry him!" Sousuke responded. He scooped Rin up (a feat that was much too easy, Sousuke realized) and carried him towards the door as the rest of the team crowded around, asking if he was okay and trying to get a look. Ai panicked. He had no idea what to do! He wasn't good at leading people or giving orders. He cleared his throat.
"HEY!" he yelled. Everyone turned to look at him. "Sousuke put me in charge while he takes care of Rin, so listen up! All of you, get back to running drills!"
"Why should we listen to you? You're just a second year!" a third year challenged.
"Yeah, and everyone knows you have depression and anxiety! How would you know what you're doing? You can't be in charge!" one of Ai's classmates taunted.
"I'll take over," another third year offered kindly.
"WELL I THINK YOU SHOULD ALL SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO HIM!" Momo screamed loudly. "All of you, get into the water!"
After lot of muttering and doubtful glances, the entire team hopped back into the water and started doing their warmup swims again. Ai walked along the edge of the pool. He had to tell a few people to stop goofing off and he yelled at once person who nearly collided with another because he wasn't paying attention. He kept glancing at his watch. After five minutes, Sousuke re-entered the pool building.
"The damage won't be major, he just has a small bump. I came back to make sure you were holding your own. I'll take over the training. District is in two weeks, otherwise I'd cancel practice all together. Go take care of Rin," Sousuke told him.
Ai took off towards the locker room, wriggling out of his wet swimsuit and tossing on his clothes before he dashed to Rin and Sousuke's room. Rin
was lying on the bottom bunk, his hair sprawled around his head. He had an icepack over his bruise. Ai sat down next to Rin and brushed the maroon hair out of the way. He pulled the ice pack off to double check Rin's head injury. It was almost back to normal. Ai looked at Rin's bare torso and nearly choked. Rin was way too thin. Why hadn't Ai noticed before? He knew about Rin's sucky eating habits!
The tears welled up in his eyes before he could stop them. He buried his head the blanket on the bed, letting the tears fall. His hand curled around Rin's limp one. He sobbed his heart out, asking himself why he hadn't paid more attention. Why he hadn't noticed. He and Rin had spent an entire year together, they were with each other nearly 24/7. Clearly neither of them had handled the separation well.
"Ai?" a soft voice asked. Ai looked up to see Rin staring at him with his piercing crimson eyes.
"Rin!" Ai cried, launching himself at his friend. He threw his arms around the taller boy, burying his head in Rin's shoulder. "Are you okay?"
"My head hurts like hell," Rin groaned. "What happened?"
"You passed out at practice!"
"Oh…"
"Are you okay Rin?" Ai asked suddenly.
"I think so. I mean the bump doesn't feel too big. I should be fi-"
"That's not what I meant," Ai cut him off. "I mean are you okay? I can tell you haven't been eating or sleeping. It's not that hard. You look awful."
Rin sighed. "No, I'm not okay," he whispered. Ai waited patiently for him to continue. Rin looked away. Ai crossed his arms.
"I'll wait. We have all day. I'll miss classes tomorrow if I have to. I don't care, my grades can't get any worse. Spill."
"What do you mean 'your grades can't get any worse?' You were always an amazing student! I know you haven't been sleeping either, Ai. What's going on?"
"I'll tell you if you tell me first!"
Rin broke. The dam that he had held together for so long completely burst. He told Ai about everything, about fighting with Sousuke and the nightmares and not studying and his grades slipping and forgetting to eat and feeling alone and trapped into hiding his emotions. In turn, Nitori told Rin all about his official depression diagnosis, his nightmares, lack of sleep, failing grades, and problems with Momo. By the end they were both reduced to sobbing messes.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Rin asked, wiping his eyes on his sleeves. Ai threw him a box of tissues.
"I didn't want to bother you…"
"Well shit, Ai. You know I would've listened. You were the only thing that held me together my first year here. I thought I was doing alright after regrouping with Haru and the gang but apparently you're still the only thing holding me together."
"We hold each other together," Ai said, smiling a bit.
"Yeah, that's all very sentimental but you need to sleep!" Rin commanded.
"So do you!"
"I know, I know. Sousuke hasn't come back yet and he probably won't until practice is over. You can go ahead and sleep in the top bunk." Ai beamed and scrambled up there.
"Sleep well!" Ai called down to Rin. The other boy grunted in response, shifting his ice pack on his head and getting into a more comfortable position. In the top bunk, Ai buried himself in blankets that smelled like Rin. That's odd, Rin favored the bottom bunk. He didn't like the feeling of being so high in the air. He figured that Sousuke would had known that and given Rin the top. Oh well, Ai wasn't complaining.
#
Three hours later, they both awoke from their nap and felt much better. Rin's head still hurt a bit but the swelling was almost completely gone. After talking with Momo and Sousuke, who were surprisingly gracious and understanding, Rin and Ai went down to the school office and requested that they switch rooms so that they were back together again. The school office didn't have a problem with it, and that night Ai retrieved all of his stuff from where it was hidden beneath Momo's junk and dragged it down to Rin's room. Sousuke was moving in with another third year, and one of Momo's friends was going to move in with him. All in all, it worked out.
Rin watched Ai unload his stuff from a comfortable perch on the bottom bunk. He would've helped but Ai insisted that he shouldn't move because he was still hurt. Sousuke had dropped by his old room with a large meal and an apology for Rin. Rin and Sousuke made up and were back to normal within three seconds. Rin even ate a little bit and felt a lot better.
Around 10pm, Ai was lying in the top bunk staring at the ceiling when his phone buzzed.
Rin: do you think we can pull our grades up?
Ai: sure! We just have to study a LOT
Rin: ugh
Ai: why r u texting me you can just talk to me
Rin: oh right
Rin: it might 'strain my voice'
Rin: im still hurt I need rest
Rin: Ai bring me some water
Rin: ai I need water
Rin: I know your reading my texts
Ai: You're*
Rin: I regret the decision to move back in with you
Ai: no you don't
Ai: ill go get your water, wimp
Ai: :D
Ai scrambled down from the top bunk and grabbed a water bottle from the desk, lobbing it at Rin, who caught it. "You didn't actually have to get me water you know."
"I know."
"You took your pills, right."
"Yes."
"Good."
Ai scratched his head. "I guess I'll see you in the morning." He started climbing up to his bunk.
"Ai?"
"Yes Rin?"
"You wanna come down here? Just for tonight?"
Ai smirked. He tossed his blanket and pillow on top of Rin's head and then jumped and flopped down next to him on the bed. Rin ruffled Ai's hair and closed his eyes. Ai did the same, ready for the first peaceful night in month. Suddenly, an idea struck him.
"Hey Rin?"
"What?"
"What do you think Sousuke would say if he knew that you liked cuddling?"
"AI I SWEAR IF YOU MENTION SO MUCH AS ONE WORD OF THIS TO SOUSUKE YOU WILL NEVER SEE A POOL AGAIN DO YOU HEAR ME? STOP LAUGHING!" Ai giggled at Rin's face, which had turned as red as his hair. He had missed this so much.
"You can yell at me all you want! I'll never leave!" Ai announced in what was supposed to be an evil voice. Rin grinned softly.
"I wouldn't want it any other way."
A/N: Also if anyone knows a way to watch Timeless Medley please let me know. It was released in Japan awhile ago and its coming to America soon but I don't want to wait if I don't have to :)