Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
This...was not what he had planned.
He felt guilty, yet wondered what he could truly do in his state. His brother had, once again, done the precise opposite of what he was supposed to do. It was his own fault, he was well aware, for not properly guiding Sasuke home, where he could be protected from the awful truth after his death. He should have somehow made arrangements for Sasuke to be taken back to Konoha after his death, but Itachi honestly had not thought he would need to.
Never would he have thought Madara would jump at his chance to snatch up the impressionable, young Uchiha the moment his protective elder brother was out of the picture. Of course, that was not completely true. He had placed a genjutsu over Sasuke's Sharingan, hoping to scare off Madara that way. Apparently, it had not been enough, and again, he had failed his younger brother, and Sasuke was falling deeper into the darkness. There was only so many offenses Sasuke could make to Konoha, before he would no longer be accepted back. This was not what he had meant for his brother.
Sasuke did not belong in the bingo books as an S-class criminal. He belonged in a place where people loved him and cared for his safety. Madara was simply taking advantage of his vulnerability, creating a weapon out of him by giving him his eyes, and then letting him loose on his old teammates. Of course, this was only temporary. Itachi already knew that after Madara had won his war, he would hand Sasuke over to Kabuto, having no other use for him. Itachi had already witnessed, upon his awakening, that Kabuto was carrying on Orochimaru's will, with the intent to dissect one of the few remaining Uchiha.
It was not something that could be allowed to happen, and though Itachi had never dreamed he would be there to witness it, his brother and Madara had to be stopped, before it was too late. He believed Uzumaki Naruto was capable of saving Sasuke from himself, which was why he had entrusted Shisui's eye to him. Now, however, he had been given the opportunity to see his precious brother again, to make up for his mistakes by showing Sasuke where he should be, and what he should be doing.
Itachi gazed up ahead, to where the Hachibi and Kyuubi Jinchuriki were running. It was no issue for him to keep up with them, even if their levels of chakra were well above his own, considering the beasts they both had sealed inside of them. Naruto had known that he would want to see his brother to the end, had known what he had painfully done to protect his village-their village-and Sasuke. So, released from the reanimation jutsu Kabuto had used on him, Itachi followed the two Jinchuriki. He had not thought that he would need to use Shisui's eye in such a way, but was thankful he had thought ahead to plant it into the crow he had given to Naruto.
They were nearing a camp; he could sense several chakra signatures, some of which seemed vaguely familiar, while many others he did not recognize. He was not sure what, per se, Uzumaki Naruto intended to do, as all he had said was that he needed to pick something up before hunting down Sasuke's retarded, chicken-ass. Itachi had not really realized how much like siblings Naruto and Sasuke were, until then. He was very glad that his brother had someone who cared about him enough to forgive him, for his foolish, misguided mistakes.
Upon approaching the camp, Itachi's senses were assaulted by the scent of antiseptic, and he realized it was a place created to heal the injured from battle. Strangely enough, the medics were running around too much to notice his presence, something he knew Madara would take advantage of, if he were in the same position. It was clearly busy, and Itachi did not fully understand why they were even there, until Naruto broke into an excited run again towards a tent at the epicenter of the camp. Killer Bee followed shortly, and Itachi strode after them at a sedate pace, in no rush.
Naruto grinned with joy at seeing his kunoichi teammate, her hair tied up and out of her face as she cleaned her bloodied hands. She had apparently just returned from emergency surgery, and had definitely not been expecting him to show up. Pleased to have the element of surprise, he crowed cheerfully, "Sakura-chan!"
Instantly, her head whipped around in surprise, and she was greeted by the sight of her missed teammate and dubbed brother. War was taking a toll on her, to be certain, having seen too many die already without being able to save them, but seeing her best friend again was like warm sunshine after the long, cold night. She did not think, but simply acted, jumping forward to hug him. She laughed and cried and smiled because she knew Naruto could make everything better again. He had that sort of power.
"What are you doing here, Naruto?" She asked at last, wiping her face. "I thought you were supposed to be protected some place chosen by the Hokage and Raikage." Sakura sighed shakily, smoothing the wrinkles of her vest and shinobi pants just in time for them to be joined by a tall, dark man she recognized to be the Hachibi Jinchuriki, and brother to the Raikage, as well as Naruto's travel-buddy.
Cracking an awkward smile, she bowed to him. Naruto was speaking again before she was able to introduce herself.
"Well, I decided that it's time we reunite Team Seven, and I'm gonna need you there after I beat Sasuke senseless, so you can heal his stupid ass." He grinned saucily, his arms crossed behind his head. Sakura was not sure if he was serious or not, but knew it was her duty, as the sole kunoichi of Team Seven, to join him.
She nodded faintly. "Shizune will understand. Let me go tell her before we leave." Sakura said softly, starting to make her way towards the entrance to her tent, only for another man to slowly duck inside. Flashes of horrifying images poured through her mind, memories of the last time she had seen the man, and the nightmares he had starred in as one of Konoha's most notorious missing-nin. She swallowed, her eyes widening in terror as she carefully avoided his gaze. Slowly, she backed away, only to be stunned when the older man politely bowed.
"Good afternoon, Haruno-san," Itachi stated, never once taking his gaze off her.
He remembered the delicate kunoichi from the Ichibi incident, and had heard she had managed to defeat Sasori with the Suna elder she, Naruto and Kakashi had been traveling with. It was rather hard to forget someone with such obnoxious, pink hair. She had not looked like much when standing across from him on the battlefield that day, though having excellent control of her chakra, to have not even fallen for the rather potent genjutsu he had cast over her and the group of nin she was traveling with. Even the Suna elder had needed a moment to release herself from his genjutsu, and it had bewildered him slightly. Not enough for Itachi to investigate what had to have been a fluke, but now it made sense that she had not been susceptible to his genjutsu.
He had learned later that she was student to the Godaime Hokage. What he had seen was the results to her medic-nin training, because she had an unnaturally good control of her chakra. Now she was healing in the middle of a war, undoubtedly with a leading role in the camp they stood in. Instinctively, she was afraid of him, and did not trust his presence. Itachi could hardly blame her, as he scrutinized the younger woman.
The fact he knew who she was must have horrified her even more.
"How the hell do you know my name?" She seethed, before glaring at him with a sort of raw fury he rarely saw. "Who do you think you are, walking right into this camp, as if you own the place? And what the fuck are you doing alive?"
Ah. Itachi understood. She blamed him for Sasuke's leaving Konoha. It was clear on her face. While her colorful language was somewhat surprising, especially when coming from such a fragile-looking kunoichi, Itachi remained visibly unaffected. She was right in blaming him, because he should have done better to prevent Sasuke from abandoning Konoha.
"You were my brother's genin teammate," he intoned calmly, as if this fact explained everything.
This seemed to have angered her further, and she met his blank gaze at last with burning, green eyes. She was suddenly pointing an accusatory finger at his person. "You are a fucking deranged, creepy stalker."
Then, Naruto was laughing, and Sakura did not know why. Why was he not busy beating the Uchiha back to death? He was their enemy, yet he was standing there, as if everything was fine, and it was the perfect opportunity to laugh at her and the expressionless Uchiha standing across from her. Anger at him flared. She did not like being kept in the dark, because something about this situation was simply not normal.
"What the hell is going on?" She asked at last.
Naruto snickered. "Don't worry, Sakura-chan," he said smugly. "Itachi is on our side. Actually, he's a good guy, so-
Itachi's eyes narrowed at the blond shinobi, as if in warning. Sakura noticed it, and was not sure what to think of it. She had a difficult time imagining Itachi as being a 'good guy,' and wondered briefly if she was under some kind of undetectable genjutsu, but there was no change in her chakra flow. This was real. Then she pondered over the chance that Naruto was under some sort of delusion. If he was, though, why would the elder Uchiha brother want him silenced, though?
Naruto cleared his throat awkwardly, having been subtly warned by Itachi to not tell anyone else the truth of the Uchiha massacre. "Anyway, he isn't here to murder or maim or Mangekyo-to-death anyone, besides maybe that douche-bag Madara. So don't freak out, okay, Sakura-chan?"
Sakura stared at her friend with bewilderment. "Don't...freak out?" She asked darkly, before shooting another glare at Itachi. "I have an S-class missing-nin who should be dead in my tent, and you're telling me to not freak out? What the hell do you mean by on our side?"
Itachi cleared his throat. "Naruto-kun is telling the truth," he said at length. "I have no intention in killing anyone here, and I have a simple purpose. Sending Sasuke back home."
She still did not look satisfied. When she looked at Naruto though, and saw his hopeful expression, she sighed. Sakura knew what bringing Sasuke back to Konoha meant to him, and if Itachi was in truth, and wanted to help them, she surmised it might be useful to have a Sharingan-user on their side. Madara was the cause of the war, and if Uchiha Itachi wanted to kill him, she could see nothing wrong with it. She still did not like the sight of him, but the enemy of an enemy was a friend. This was how the five nations had managed to make one, massive army.
Sakura ran a hand through pink looks feebly. She hated how they were making her feel so unreasonable. "Fine," Sakura grumbled, "but we are doing this my way," she stated frankly. "Everyone is getting healed first, instead of recklessly running out there with injuries."
Naruto had been about to complain, but she silenced him with a dangerous look. Itachi found himself somewhat amused by the fierce kunoichi.
She then turned to him again, looking slightly frustrated. "I guess that means you too, Uchiha. But if you think I'm going to be gentle, you have another thing coming."
A slender eyebrow rose on his pale face, before she pointedly looked somewhere near his feet. He followed her eyes, meeting a small pool of crimson, before recalling what had happened after he had regained control of himself. He had defeated Nagato himself, but not without a price. The wound had seemed minor at the time, but he must have ripped it open further while traveling. His mind had been much too preoccupied to even realize it.
The Hachibi patted his back, much to his inner displeasure. "You're somethin' of a ladies' man, aren't yah?" He asked, before adding, "Yo!"
She had first healed the minor injuries Naruto and Killer Bee had sustained, before shooing them off, ordering her teammate to tell Shizune that he wanted her to accompany them to wherever Sasuke was. This, of course, left her alone with the Uchiha. She was not too happy to be healing him, but kept her opinions to herself as she worked on the gash made across his stomach. It had not been too deep, which she was thankful for, but he had clearly made it worse with travel.
While it made them both uncomfortable, she had removed his cloak and had him sit on her makeshift desk. He was a muscular man, yet somehow lithe and almost graceful in the way he was built, very obviously a genjutsu-user. It was slightly intimidating to work on such an infamous criminal, but she had to tell herself that this was for Sasuke. He did not seem to be nearly as bothered as she was.
In fact, he was perfectly content with the silence. That was not the way Sakura liked to work. She always talked with her patients, since it made the atmosphere much more relaxed, and the flow of chakra went through their systems more easily, when she and her patients were more calm. It was hard to speak with someone like him, though, especially when she had considered him a dirty criminal for most of her life.
His skin was cold and slightly hard, though his blood was pumping through his veins still, and though she had only seen him once, he looked unnaturally pale. She could not figure out, for the life of her, how it was possible. He was supposed to be dead. The entire world thought he was. She was familiar with forbidden ninjutsu to a certain extent, but wondered who could have executed the jutsu that had given the Uchiha life.
"It was a reanimation jutsu, wasn't it?" She asked quietly, hands still gently pressed into the firm muscles of his abdomen as she threaded her chakra through him.
His tone was flat. "Yes," he answered, before continuing thoughtfully, "I am not a womanizer, like the Hachibi said."
She snorted. "Are all Uchiha the same?" Sakura asked back sarcastically. "I'm pretty sure it's impossible for someone with the personality of a rock to be a womanizer." She laughed then, at the thought.
"I do not require a personality to do my duty."
She rolled her eyes at him. "What kind of bullshit is that? It's as stupid as the whole ruse that love equals weakness. Are you going to start telling people that they are weak because they lack a boring personality?"
Itachi was under the strange impression that he was being made fun of. It was not something that happened to him very often, and he hardly knew what to do about it. The kunoichi who stood there healing him, though she may have very well hated him, was an unusual woman to be sure.
He closed his eyes for a moment. "No," he murmured, "I would not do that."
Itachi opened his eyes again to be greeted by two, bright verdant eyes. "Just to Sasuke, right?"
Curiously, he watched her in silence. "You love him," he concluded at last.
Sakura huffed, giving him a strange look he could not quite understand. "Not in the way you think," she muttered. "He fucked me up in a lot of ways, his damn ego getting in the way of everything. Still, I would not be the kunoichi I am today if he had never left and broke my heart. I would have never needed a reason to become stronger. He's a member of Team Seven though, and to me, my team is more like family then my parents ever could be. He and Naruto are the closest things I have to brothers, so in that way, I do love him, but never more than that."
She knew this was a lot to share with a man she hardly knew and still considered her enemy, but he was not what she had always thought he would be like. Perhaps her overactive imagination had perceived him as being much colder, much crueler. Or maybe he had found some sort of peace when dying at Sasuke's hand, but she would not describe him as being particularly cold or cruel, when he sat on her table so calmly. He just seemed to know much more about life than she did, and was not inclined to speak about it.
"My brother really does not know how fortunate he is," Itachi said quietly, "to have such good people that want to follow him to the ends of the earth for his sake who he can call his friends."
He was inwardly surprised when she gave him a sad smile. "I suppose we should show him how lucky he is, then."
Uchiha Sasuke was known for having a temper. He was not proud of it, but it was the truth, nonetheless. He did not have patience, and when something he did not like happened, he let the world know he was not happy. Karin, the useless girl, had yet to return to him, and Sasuke was beginning to suspect that she would not be coming back at all. Well, good riddance. Suigetsu was being his annoying self, complaining constantly that he should have Samehada, rather than the Hachibi Jinchuriki, while Juugo was as passive as usual.
He wanted action. Sasuke was tired of sitting in wait, unable to do anything until he fully adjusted to having Itachi's eyes. He felt stronger, with his brother's eyes, and even though he had yet to use them, he could tell there was a difference. Madara wanted him to wait until he was completely ready though, before letting loose his most powerful weapon on an army consisting of shinobi from all five of the great nations.
Yes, Sasuke was aware that he was being taken advantage of. He was not as foolish as his older brother used to so fondly say. He was prepared for when Madara decided, at the end of the war, that he was no longer useful, and needed to be disposed of. He would probably try to strip him of his Sharingan, to add them his collection. Not that Sasuke was going to let that happen. No, he was much too clever for that. In fact, he still planned, as he had told his brother, to kill Madara, because unlike his brother, the elder Uchiha was not free of guilt.
He would have his vengeance, against Konoha for making his brother do such a horrible, disgusting thing, and Madara for being the cause of his clan needing to be annihilated to begin with.
The kunoichi was nothing like Itachi had thought she would be. She was rough, especially with Uzumaki Naruto, and had a low tolerance for nonsense. Yet, at the same time, there was something very gentle and caring about her, and Itachi was not sure how to put it into words.
When he was wounded by Nagato, his black cloak had also been ripped. After she had finished healing him, she had downright refused to return it to him, and he had hardly realized that it was damaged before she pointed it out, but it had still mattered little to him. She was stubborn though, and practically commanded that he dressed in something else, giving him a spare shirt, vest and pants kept in the camp in the chance that a shinobi lost their clothes in battle, or could no longer wear them.
She had dug through her belongings for a moment as Itachi had pulled his shirt on over his head. Sakura had left then to give him some privacy then, throwing something at his head just as she walked out of the tent. Itachi had stared down at the hitai-ate in his hands, the kanji for ninja in its center, and only just heard her mumble, if you are going to be on our side, you might as well look like it.
Itachi was strangely thankful for the gesture. If he tried to voice this, however, he had the feeling she would respond in a sarcastic, dry fashion. He knew that she did not want to think too much about him, and even though she had made a point that she did not like him at all, she was still willing to accept him. The Kyuubi Jinchuriki certainly had a powerful sort of magic, to be capable of changing her mind so easily. He doubted that anything he had said had done much to improve her mood. It had to have been Naruto.
He was something of a pessimist, and after sacrificing so much for his brother, only to have that spit upon, Itachi felt justified in being slightly negative. However, he felt optimistic about Naruto, and his unusual powers. There was something he could sense in the young man that was hard to find in their lot of life. Hope. He believed he could succeed in so much, and though Itachi was still somewhat skeptical, he was beginning to suspect that there was a chance that Naruto would get far.
He had to believe there was a chance, because Itachi was not ignorant. This form of life would not last forever. He was a walking corpse-a zombie-and jokes aside, it would not be long before he had to return to the afterlife. Now that he knew that Sasuke had not returned to Konoha, and had joined Akatsuki instead, he would not get rest in returning yet. Itachi wanted to resolve things first.
Itachi glanced at the kunoichi running to his side. It had been such a long time since he had worked with a kunoichi, and he had forgotten what it was like. Konan had been the only kunoichi in Akatsuki, and much like their leader, she had kept to herself for most of the time, and Itachi had interacted with her but rarely. Of course, he remembered from his lessons at the academy that kunoichi were hardly different from other shinobi, and were to be treated as equals. Itachi would not dream of belittling the feminine spitfire, either way.
He was caught looking, and Sakura frowned. "Do you have something you need to say, Uchiha?" She asked quietly.
"No," he answered simply. She snorted.
"You know, you are a lot more like Sasuke than I thought you would be." Sakura smirked, before quickly amending herself. "At least, a lot like how Sasuke used to be, before he betrayed us. I'm surprised at you. Not at all the terrifying, mass-murderer everyone thought you were."
He gave her a bewildered look. "I'm afraid not," he responded flatly, before curiously asking, "What was Sasuke like before he left Konoha?"
Sasuke was a topic Sakura often chose to avoid, since it did nothing more than cause her pain, but somehow, she understood why the elder Uchiha brother would want to know. It was not that Sasuke had broken her heart, because she had only been another rabid fangirl in that case, and it would have been alarming if Sasuke had actually returned her affections. She had been a flirty little mess at the time. No, it was that from the beginning, Sasuke had decided she was lower than the dirt beneath his feet, that she was weak and useless. He never gave her the chance to improve, and concluded that she was never going to become anything. That was what had hurt her so much about Sasuke.
She smiled weakly at Itachi. "To be honest, Sasuke was always something of an ass, but I always saw him as being a good person. He just had a strange way of showing it." Sakura muttered, almost wanting to laugh at herself. "When Team Seven had first been formed, Sasuke automatically assumed that Naruto and I would only get in his way. I may have gotten even better scores on my tests than he did on his, but I was still deemed an idiot and 'annoying' as he would so kindly put it. He disliked Naruto even more, since he had the worst scores in the entire class, and had only graduated by chance. I think he might have always resented him for that."
Itachi looked ahead at the blond shinobi dashing forward, supposing that it made sense that someone like him would have only just scraped by, based on his attitude alone. What shocked him was that the dainty kunoichi with pink hair had gotten better grades than even his brother.
"You must have studied hard," he commented softly.
She nodded carefully. "Yes, but it was never good enough. I am from a civilian family, so I was never physically prepared for the academy, like the children from shinobi clans and households who had been training since they could walk. Sasuke must have seen me as a nobody because of it." She continued softly.
"Then we had our first real mission, something besides babysitting and mowing lawns. All three of us had almost died, and so I guess it's natural that some sort of connection would form between us. Things felt like they working out better after that, and I think Sasuke had even started to open up to us a little. He never said anything about his past, not that I would really expect him to, but he didn't completely ignore us anymore. I liked to think he was happy in Team Seven."
She paused for a moment. "Then we entered the chunin exams. In retrospect, we had been ill-prepared for the testing, and should have waited until the next year. Sasuke was so desperate to prove himself worthy though, as if he were impatient to be powerful, and if that wasn't bad enough, Orochimaru decided to show up and completely fuck with our team. After that, Sasuke became more distant than even before. Feeling that he had failed at the chunin exams, he decided that Konoha was not going to help him." She said, before accusing, "Running into you probably didn't do much good either. He left within the day he was released from the hospital after his encounter with you."
He sensed that she was blaming him, and Itachi could see her reasons for believing he had forced Sasuke from their home. He had pushed his brother too hard.
"My brother has never been the smartest, even before the massacre. He was spoiled both by my mother and myself, too used to doing as he wished without considering consequences because of my indulging him." Itachi said at last. It was not an apology for pushing Sasuke too much, nor was it an excuse. It was simply a fact.
She hummed thoughtfully. "You know, Uchiha, I'm really beginning to question the massacre. I'm subjective enough to suspect your true reasoning for what you did."
Itachi frowned. "Don't," he grumbled, racing ahead at a speed he was confident she would not be able to keep up with.
Relief washed over him as he finally stepped into the light after such a long time of waiting. At last, Madara was releasing him, deciding that he was prepared enough to use Itachi's eyes. The world was so bright compared to the caves and underground passages he had been cooped up in. He had a simple order, and one Sasuke appreciated, after what felt like forever without action.
There were at least four powerful chakra signatures approaching them, and though Madara had not known, or cared, who it was, he saw it as the perfect opportunity to test his new eyes. Stretching for a moment, not wanting to strain any of his muscles, Sasuke expanded his senses, searching for the chakra Madara had indicated. Finding it, he shot forward, the trees blurring together at the speed he was moving.
It did not take long for him to reach the traveling group, since they were headed towards each other, and when he had, he froze with shock. There, not fifteen feet away from him, stood who he knew to be the Hachibi Jinchuriki and his old genin teammates. What had stunned him, however, was to see his older brother, who should have rightfully been dead, standing behind them, wearing the same hitai-ate that Sakura, Naruto and Bee had on. He swallowed, understanding exactly what his brother was silently proclaiming, by standing on the opposite side of him, wearing what his enemy wore.
"Aniki?" His voice croaked.
Sakura had expected several things from Sasuke, when seeing his brother again. She had anticipated a lot of yelling on his part, ranting on how his evil, older brother should have been dead because he was the slime of the earth. She had been waiting to see him jump forward without warning or much thought, and for him to attack Itachi, as he always seemed to do. Hell, she probably would have expected him to simply turn around and walk away, before what he actually did.
She had never heard him call his brother anything but Itachi.
For the first time in her entire life, she saw the emotionless Uchiha Sasuke break down and cry. It was pitiful, and part of her wanted to look away from the pathetic sight. At the same time though, it was fascinating, because Sakura was certain she would never see tears on the apathetic Uchiha's face ever again. She stared, and not for the first time since Naruto had shown up with Itachi and Bee, she was completely bewildered.
Itachi was not too surprised by Sasuke's reaction, knowing that his brother had been told the truth by Madara. Slowly, he stepped around the kunoichi who was busy gaping at both himself and Sasuke, and cautiously approached. After a few steps away from the group, however, his brother had dashed towards him. Sasuke always had been affectionate as a child, but Itachi stilled when his younger brother wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug, and buried his face in the crook of his neck. He had not been so close to another human being in a long time. Probably not since he was a young child.
He waited patiently as Sasuke had his cry, awkwardly patting him on the back as he did so. Itachi sighed softly, unsure of what else he was supposed to do. Finally his brother found it within himself to calm down, and when he had, he unclenched his arms and took a tense step back. For almost a minute, they could do no more than stare at each other wordlessly. Sasuke seemed to sense that he was not particularly happy with what he was up to.
"You joined Akatsuki," Itachi said plainly.
Sasuke nodded, as if mentally preparing himself for a scolding. "You were a member for a while too," he defended quietly. Itachi was not sure that it was appropriate for a seventeen year old to pout like his brother was then.
"That's different," Itachi answered blandly, "unless you plan to tell me you were a spy for Konoha all along. For some reason, I'm doubting that."
Sasuke gulped. "Madara never told me that."
"I'm sure he did not. No one knew besides myself, my contact Jiraiya-sama, and the Sandaime and Godaime Hokage. Madara was too much of a fool to realize I was watching his every move."
Silence reigned. Sakura was still staring at the two Uchiha brothers, amazed by what she heard. Naruto and Bee looked like they already knew this. Uchiha Itachi had been a spy for Konoha all along? What the hell? She thought back though, to all the recorded encounters Konoha-nin had with Itachi during his time as missing-nin. Now that she thought of it, not once had any of those Konoha-nin returned home dead, or even injured in a way that was critical. Most of them had been unconscious, but only because of a sleeping genjutsu. What had always seemed like an anomaly now made sense, including why the Akatsuki had never been able to obtain the Kyuubi. If he had really wanted to, Itachi probably would have succeeded in capturing Naruto before he even reached the rank of genin. Yet, he had not.
Sasuke finally found the courage to speak again. "I wanted to talk to you about what happened that night, ever since Madara told me the truth."
"Is that why you joined the Akatsuki? Because Madara spilled the truth?" He asked instead, clearly not yet willing to let the subject go.
"I joined the Akatsuki because they deserve to die. You did everything for their sakes, and you were named a criminal for it, by the very people you got your orders from. Konoha will pay for the peace you gave them, because they have no idea what you sacrificed."
Itachi's voice was very quiet. "Otouto, when are you going to give up on revenge? I already let you avenge our clan by killing me, in the hopes that it would be enough. There are reasons I kept the truth from you all those years, because I did sacrifice everything to maintain peace in Konoha, but now you are doing everything in your power to reverse all I worked for." He murmured, before adding, "It is...disappointing."
Sasuke's shoulders visibly slouched. Itachi knew that in their childhood, his brother had always looked up at him like a child does a parent. In a lot of ways, Itachi had been there much more for Sasuke than his mother or father, so it was only logical. "I can't go back there," he said feebly.
"You can, and you will." Itachi said strongly, before relaxing his posture. Almost affectionately, he tapped two fingers to his brother's forehead. Sasuke winced, frowning as he glared up at his brother, and rubbing the spot. Satisfied, Itachi turned.
"Naruto-kun, I do believe you professed a wish to, and I quote, 'beat some sense into that chicken-ass retard?'" Itachi asked calmly. Naruto grinned foxily, cracking his knuckles. Itachi nodded, smirking to himself. "Then I do believe he is all yours. Please make sure he is at least recognizable when you are finished."
Epilogue-Crack-Thing
Sakura glanced at the elder Uchiha brother for a moment, before looking back at the fight between Naruto and Sasuke. While it had started out as a dignified fight between two mighty shinobi, they were now successfully getting themselves muddy by wrestling each other. Itachi appeared to be just as entertained by it, and their colorful bickering, as she was.
"So," she tried awkwardly, "I'm guessing you were ordered to kill your clan?"
Itachi sighed. "Yes, I was." He replied flatly.
She nodded, and the silence resumed.
"I guess that makes you the king of all mind-fucks," she commented.
He did not dignify her statement with a response.
A grin suddenly spread across her cheeks. "Hey Uchiha, have you ever been kissed by a girl?"
He stared down at her in clear astonishment. The expression on his face was enough of an answer for her. A moment later, she was standing on the tips of her toes, had her arms around his neck, and was pressing her lips to his. Once again, Itachi found himself being surprised by the dainty kunoichi. This time, he supposed that he did not mind at all.
AN: Yes, I warned you that the weird epilogue thing was going to be absolute crack. Hey, I had to get some ItaSaku in there, though. ;) This was basically how I think the series should end, for those of you have read the awesomeness known as chapter 550. I was happily inspired to write this after reading the most recent chapter of Naruto. Hopefully it wasn't completely retarded.
Btw, I am officially dedicating this one-shot to my lovely friend, Naz-G, because I'm certain she will get a kick out of seeing some of our jokes (like Itachi being the king of mind-fucks) seen in a fic.
All feedback is appreciated. :)