Summery – What if Kakashi, Kurenai, Asuma and Gai traded teams for one day and had a bet to see who would survive? Warning, slightly OOC
(I lied. Very OOC)
Authors note *Please read*: This story takes place a little after the Chunin exams. And to anyone who has not read my profile, my original account wasPresidentPie (An account on fanfiction and several years ago!). I wrote this fanfic in 2005 but I have forgotten my password and the email to PresidentPie's account so I am re-posting and re-writing my fanfiction through this account. I promise to update and I intend to finish this baby! It's been forever since I've written a fanfic, so please be gentle (:
Disclaimer – I do not own Naruto, Masashi Kishimoto does.
The Bet
Chapter 1: Challenge Accepted
8:00 AM –
It was the hottest day imaginable in the village of the Hidden Leaf, like you cannot even imagine.
"Oh my God, I think I'm melting." The red-eyed Jounin shouted whilst fanning herself with her hands.
"Tch… tell me about it. I kid you not, I pulled out a cigarette and it lit itself." Asuma stated inhaling deeply from his cigarette.
"You know, you shouldn't be smoking that stuff. It's bad for your lungs" A silver-haired man stated calmly from the shade. "Lungs, Schmungs. Cigarettes give me what I need to get through the day… especially when my students drive me nuts" the man gruffly stated, taking another long drag. "Really? There's always a healthier method you know…" Kakashi stated bluntly. "Like reading your dirty novels?" Kurenai cut in, staring at his orange novel with much distaste.
"Yep!" The grey-haired Jounin said with a crinkle of his eye, indicating a smile.
"Kakashi!" A voice bellowed, following a foot that had appeared out of nowhere and almost made impact with the said Jounin who quickly dodged with very little effort.
"Gai… I don't feel like fighting today–"
"Oh, come on! This day is just shining with the passion of a thousand burning suns!" The bowl-cut man replied with his nice guy pose. The three stared at him with tired eyes 'What a moron.'
"But how can we waste such a wonderful day? It's b-e-a-utiful!" Gai shouted from the hill they were on. At that same exact moment, a bird fell down from the sky, ignited in flames.
"Well, I'd really like to stay and chat but I don't want to be late to meet my favourite students" Asuma announced, with a hint of sarcasm. "What's with you today, Asuma? You love your students, don't you?" Kurenai stated in a surprised tone.
"Yea, I do! Of course I do. I'm just really not in the mood to hear Shikamaru tell me how troublesome this crappy weather is, putting up with Chouji's need for a snack break between practice every five freaking minutes" He took a deep breath and his hands started shaking, sweat dripping down his face as he continued "…and especially hearing Ino bitch about how the weather is ruining her hair, or making her sweat. I mean I love them but God, sometimes I just want to – "
"Let me just stop you there … before you get a stroke" the attractive woman of the group said with a hand covering his mouth. "Your team is not nearly as hard to manage as mine. Despite the fact that I love all three of my students, they're pretty dysfunctional as well."
The other three men raised their eyebrows at her
"I have an insanely shy girl, who practically bursts into flames from embarrassment at the sight of the colors orange, blue and yellow. A loud-mouth whose dog has pissed on every pair of shoes I have ever owned and a boy who has bugs crawling out his face and other places God-knows-where… and I hate bugs!" She finished with a shudder.
"Hah! Your students all lack youthfulness. Their lotuses have simply not bloomed from the crevices of their gluteus maximus."
"Are you high? Did you just say that flowers haven't exploded out of their asses?" Kakashi interrupted with the other two gaping in disbelief at what he just said "What I am TRYING to say here is my team is far more difficult to handle than either of you three. Because they are just simply exploding with youthfulness, no one can handle them better than myself!" He exclaimed with a wide smile, teeth gleaming with such intensity that all three jounins had to put on their shades.
"I can totally whip them into shape. In fact, your team is nothing compared to what I have to deal with." Kakashi drawled "I have the number one loudmouth of Konoha, who gets into more trouble than the amount of times I've caught Asuma staring at Kurenai's chest" A slap was heard, followed by the sound of Kurenai muttering 'pig…'. "I have a Sasuke-obsessed, know-it-all and of course the cocky, emo of my group who gets into as many fights with Naruto in a day as the amount of times I've caught Gai staring at Asuma's behind"
There was a long uncomfortable pause, with the two jounins staring at Gai with with a shocked and horrified look apparent on their faces, as Kakashi nonchalantly flipped the pages from his dirty novel.
"I stare simply to compare" Gai huffed "And just so you know, mine would bring more boys to the yard…"
Kurenai's jaw dropped and Asuma's cigarette fell from his lips.
"– because they'd be asking me how I got buns of steels from all the training I do" He finished simply. "That's still sick… and wrong" Asuma said, shaking his head.
"Okay, we established the fact that we have pretty messed up kids. So?" Kakashi drawled.
"I propose a bet!" Gai exclaimed, with his eyes gleaming in excitement.
The three jounins leaned in with curiosity. "We should all trade teams for a day; we will see which one of us can last. We all babbled on and on about just how bad our kids can get, so why not trade for a day and at the end we can let our students decide which teacher they liked better."
The other three had their eyes closed and arms crossed, deep in thought.
"You know… that doesn't sound too bad. In fact it kinda sounds like fun" Kurenai said thoughtfully, breaking their train of thought.
"Sure, why not" Kakashi said, nodding.
"I'm down like Charlie Brown" Asuma stated, lighting another cigarette. He looked up to see three pairs of eyes looking at him with distaste. "What? Am I not cool enough to say that or something?" "Even I don't say that… sheesh and people call me lame" Gai said shaking his head "Yea man, that was just… no" Kakashi and Kurenai shook their heads, ashamed to even know him. "Okay, how about… that sounds like the bees knees, home-dawg!" he exclaimed, followed by nervous laughter. "Just stop… please." The silver-haired jounen begged "Yea… why are you talking like that?" Kurenai mumbled, rolling her crimson eyes. Gai just looked embarrassed to be standing near this man, and he was the one in green spandex.
"All the young people are saying it! I just want to feel cool again… I hate you guys" He huffed angrily.
"Anyway… getting back on topic, how do we decide which team we'll get?" Kurenai asked. "Simple! We cover ourselves in honey and proceed to race to the other side of the village where the sumo wrestling area is located, we will then find a guy by the name of Phyllis, who will eat the honey off our bare—"
"How 'bout we just draw straws" Kurenai said immediately cutting off Gai.
"Agreed" The other two men said, not wasting another moment. A sumo wrestler stood behind the group, holding a jar of honey and walked away with a defeated look on his face. "… Okaaay… So whoever gets blue gets Asuma's team, green is team Gai, yellow is Kakashi's team and red is mine"
After the draw, Kakashi had gotten Gai's team and as fate would have it, Gai picked yellow, leaving Asuma with Kurenai's group and vice versa. "Okay Kakashi! Just you wait and see! I will beat you with the fists of my youth!" Gai exclaimed with flames bursting out of his eyes with such intensity that Kakashi pulled out a stick with a marshmallow on the end and began to roast it.
"Wait, so what does the winner get?" Kurenai asked
"Pride and glory!" Gai shouted, which earned him a bop to the head. "That's lame. Alright, I say we will base the results on how the students feel about us at the end of the day. The most positive feedback will be the winner. The three losers will do whatever the winner says" Kakashi suggested.
"Alright, we meet here at the end of the day" Asuma said cheerfully
"And no bribing of any sort" Kurenai added, earning an 'aw' from Asuma.
Before leaving all four thought of the same thought
I'm going towin
8:15 AM – Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke
"Does it have whiskers?"
"Yes."
"Does it smell like ramen"
"Yes."
"Is it a real thing?"
"Yes."
"… Dammit, Sasuke. Is it me again?"
"…Yes, dobe. And I can't believe it actually took you all twenty questions to finally get it right" the raven-haired boy said incredulously.
"Well, I figured after the twelfth time we played, you'd pick something else! Gee willikers, you have the imagination of a flagpole" The blond muttered.
"Excuse me?" Sasuke said sounding almost offended.
"Shush-kabobs, okay Naruto! Can't you tell you're bugging Sasuke?" The bubble-gum pink haired girl scolded with her arms crossed. "Ya, dobe. Shut up" Sasuke said with a smirk as Naruto pouted. He was about to round-house kick the jerk's face when suddenly a puff of smoke appeared.
"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura exclaimed in surprise. "You're actually on time for - … Gai- sensei?" the smoke cleared and the spandex clad man appeared with sparkling teeth and a wink. Sakura shuddered and Sasuke cringed.
"Yes! It Is I, Gai! Kakashi's greatest rival! You're probably wondering why I'm here –"
"Not really" Sasuke and Sakura muttered.
"Oh, oh! I know, I know!" the loud-mouth said, jumping up and down with his hands waving back and forth like he was having a spazz attack.
"Yes! My youthful pupil!" Gai said pointing at Naruto with pride.
"You're here to announce that you're coming out of the closet with Kaka-sensei" At this point, all the jaws have hit the ground as Naruto continued "And he's too shy to tell us himself so he's making you tell us!"
"No! What is wrong with… are you hi-… wait… why does everyone always think I'm gay?
"It's the onesie, man. Lose the onesie" Sasuke said plainly.
"For your information, it is not a onesie! It's a combat suit that's skin tight to allow myself to have the ability to have complete versatile move – "
"It's a onesie… come on, it even has a latch on the butt for you to take a leak" Sasuke stated, with Sakura nodding to his every word.
"Its - not… Onesies are cool!" Gai shouted, with tears overflowing and Naruto awkwardly patting his back. "So… does this mean you're dating sensei now?"
"NO!" They all shouted, bopping him on the head
8:15 – Shikamaru, Ino and Chouji
"Yes! Today, I'm totally prepared!" Ino shouted with confidence.
"I brought one oxygen mask for each and every one of you!" The blond haired ninja said distributing the masks to her teammates. "You can never be too careful considering how much cigarettes Asuma-sensei smoke a day" Ino said as she winked and her teammates nodded in agreement.
"I'll be damned if I die from second-hand smoke, I pictured me dying from a clogged arteries and passed out over a table in an all-you-can-eat Korean BBQ restaurant" Chouji said through his mask and he slipped a chip in his mouth.
"And I see myself dying by the hands of the woman I married, after I forget to put the toilet seat down yet again" Shikamaru said with a sigh. "For the last time, that's freaking gross, Shika" Ino said with a huff "The last time I went in the bathroom at your house after you, I fell in!"
"Well would it kill you to look before you put your fat ass on the seat?"
"Are you calling me fat? How dare you! My ass is perfectly proportioned and I'm sure at least more than half the men in Konoha would agree!" The blonde screeched.
"Yea… perfectly proportioned for a cow" The genius muttered, loud enough for his best friend to hear "Oh, SNAAAAP" Chouji shouted with his hand raised for a high-five.
Ino rolled her eyes and pretended not to hear.
At that moment, Kurenai appeared and saw all three genins with oxygen masks on their faces.
The four shared an uncomfortable silence, which was broken by the sound of Gai crying in the background.
8:15 – Kiba, Hinata and Shino
"I-I wonder why Kurenai-sensei is late, she's usually never late. Why is she late? What if something happened to her? W-we should call the police!" Hinata stuttered. "Uhm Hinata, she's only late by fifteen minutes. You're freaking out over nothing!" Kiba said checking his watch.
Shino sighed heavily; Kiba and Hinata looked at him briefly and went back to talking about their missing teacher.
"W-what if she was abducted? I read somewhere that aliens go after the spinsters"
"Really? She's a spinster?" Kiba asked with genuine interest. "Yea, I-I've been to her house. She has eleven cats."
"ELEVEN? Wow, she's totally going to die alone" the canine-like boy shouted, as Byakugan user nodded in agreement.
"Sigh!"
The two turned their heads once again to their teammate. "Why doesn't someone ever ask me how I'm feeling?" Shino said sad and dejected. "What crawled up his ass?" Kiba muttered to the pearly-eyed girl "… Uh, do you even need to ask?" She replied with a 'duh'. "Riiiight… Shino, did Centipede Sally get too close to your no-no zone again?" Kiba said with a look of concern and disgust evident on his face, while Akamaru buried himself deeper in Kiba's jacket.
"No… But I thought we agreed to never talk about that incident again" Shino said in a slow and menacing tone, with his shades gleaming in the sunlight.
"Well then, what's wrong with you? PMS?"
"D-did you eat one of your bug friends again b-by accident?"
"No! I just feel unappreciated and it's like no one cares about what I have to sa – "
"Oh my god! L-Look! I found a four-leaf clover on the ground!" Hinata squealed "I'm going to keep it forever, and ever and ever" Shino gave her a blank stare, although no one really knows what kind of stare he gives since half his face is always covered by that ginormous coat of his and his shades are always on. Kiba joined her in jumping around in circles in happiness, while Shino watched.
"See! That's exactly what I'm sayi – "
"Whoa! Did you just see that?" Kiba shouted, suddenly pointing at the sky.
"That was a bird…!" Shino wailed. "A really big bird! Fly birdie, fly! Find your way back to Sesame Street!" The rugged teen shouted waving his arms in the air like he just don't care.
Suddenly a figure popped out of nowhere, "K-Kurenai-sensei?" Hinata asked hesitantly. "No it's me, Asuma; I'm taking over for today!" he said smiling. 'Yes! Finally, maybe now I'll finally get some attention from someone!' Shino thought to himself.
"Sens –"
"Who wants to go swimming by the pool?" Asuma suggested, which was followed by a round of cheers from Kiba and Hinata.
"But I don't know how to swi –"
"Kay, then it's settled! Swimming it is!"
"…"
"Hey! Kiba can you please tell your dog not to mark its territory on my shoes? They're brand new!" Asuma complained
"Bark!" Akamaru woofed, wagging his tail.
"Er… translation?" Asuma asked, releasing a puff of smoke from his nostrils.
"He said "I'm just helping you get the disgusting smell of leather out of those shoes. Besides, I'm doing you a favor! People would pay me to give them golden showers… like your mom""
"One, you got all that from a single bark? And two – Come back here, you mutt!" Asuma shouted as he made a grab for Akamaru, only to watch the dog leap over his head but not before peeing on him first.
"Bark!"
"He says "Now I own you, bitch"" Kiba translated.
"Your dog is an asshole!" Asuma shouted, chasing after tiny canine.
8:30 - Neji, Tenten and Lee
"I wonder why Gai-sensei is so late!" Lee exclaimed while pacing back and forth. "He's never late! The only time he was late was because he was still at home waiting for his jumpsuit to come out of the dryer!" Lee said still pacing back and forth as Neji's face turned green.
"Uh, what's wrong Neji?" Tenten asked with concern " I-I haven't told this to anyone before … but I get motion sickness easily" Neji said as he vomited all over Lee's green suit and he screamed like a little girl.
"Well the good thing is that your jumpsuit is green" Tenten said optimistically as she patted Neji's back who he was bending over, still sick.
"BUT… Gai-sensei is never late! It's already… " Lee checked his watch "Half an hour! He's probably kidnapped by someone who is after his beautiful luscious hair, or his shiny teeth! OR WORSE … He ran into his mother!" Lee screamed like a maniac.
But all his worries and woes disappeared when he saw a puff of smoke, thinking it was Gai, he instinctively dove for a bear hug. "Wow I didn't know Gai's students were so … affectionate" Kakashi said with a lifted eyebrow.
"KAKASHI?" Tenten and Lee said together. Kakashi smiled behind his mask but glanced sideways to see Neji hurl a whole bowl of Cherrios. "Oh… he'll be okay" Tenten said as patted her teammate on the back with much force.
Kakashi explained to the group why he was there and soon, the Hyuuga genius regained his composure and asked "Who did Gai-sensei switch places with?" Neji asked with the slightest hint of interest
"Gai switched with me and Kurenai switched with Asuma" The silver-haired jounin clarified. 'Poor team seven…' both Neji and Tenten thought while the bowl-cut teammate glared into space with envy for his rival team.
"Well then …today I want all three of you to give me five-hundred push-ups, eighty sit-ups and finally climb the tallest tree you can find without using your hands" Kakashi instructed.
"But sensei… what if one of us can't use our chakra?" Lee asked. "Then use your teeth" The silver-haired jounin said simply, as he pulled out his book to continue reading from where he left off. All three genins cringed their nose in disgust 'This going to be one hell of a day…'
End of chapter 1
Author's note: Sooo? What do you think? I made lots of changes, and looking back on all the mistakes I've made, I can't believe I used to write like that ahaha. Let me know what you think, I hope I didn't do too bad of a job! It's been a while since I've written anything :$ ahaha
Review please and I will update as soon as I can! (: