She isn't what she used to be.
She loves him. She's still his girl, deep down. She may think she can flash my engagement ring around like it's some kind of evidence that she's over him, but I know that, really, I never truly had her. Really, she was always his.
She cries when I mention him. She leaves the room and breaks down, and I want nothing more than to hold her close and comfort her. She thinks I don't hear, but I hear everything. I see her try and hold it back, and it kills me, because I really do love her. But I can't force her to love me back, as much as I wish I could.
She thinks I don't see the way she looks at him - at awards shows, at premieres, at parties. She thinks I don't notice, but I notice everything. I spot her trying to avoid his gaze, and it kills me, because I know that she really just wants to be on his arm, not mine.
She falls apart when his song comes on the radio. She thinks I don't see it, but I see everything. I know that she takes a deep breath and doesn't speak, because she knows that speaking will cause her to let out everything she's been holding in for so long, and it kills me, because I know that there's nothing I can do to take away the pain.
I don't hate him. I've tried, but what can I accuse him of? She was his before she was mine. If anything, I'm the one who stole her.
He loves her as much as I do. That's a guarantee. Maybe that's why I find myself outside his apartment building.
I look down at my phone to make sure I have the right address, then enter the building. I make my way up to the doorman, let him know who I am and continue up to his apartment.
I knock on the door and wait.
He answers. He sees me and freezes.
"Liam."
I try my best to smile, but this really isn't a friendly visit. "Hello, Nick."
"I …" He trails off. He runs his hand through his hair and exhales. "What can I do for you, man?"
Is he aware of what a loaded question that is? There are a million reasons why I am at his apartment, but none of them really make much sense. I could tell him, but of course he would assume that I'm as much of a psychopath as he already thinks I am.
"I'm in town on business and thought I would stop by."
"Any particular reason?"
"I think you already know the answer to that question."
I see him swallow the lump in his throat. He steps back. "Come on in, man. No point in standing out in the hallway." He tries to smile, but I can see how hard he has to try.
I step into his apartment, and all I can think about is how it's exactly what Miley would love. It's almost as though he has some sort of decorative connection to my girl. Maybe that's why she loves him so much. Maybe he just understands her more than I ever could.
"I haven't spoken to Miley in months," Nick says abruptly.
"I know."
He frowns slightly. "Then why are you here?"
"Because I love her." I smile sadly and make my way over to his window, taking in the view of the city. "I would do anything for her. I'm sure you know that feeling."
"Liam, I –"
"I'm not quite sure she loves me like she loves you."
"That's ridiculous, man."
"Is it? Because I seem to recall my fiancée crying over you on more than one occasion. Hell, all she has to do is hear your name on the radio and she's in tears. Tell me, does my theory sound quite as ridiculous now?"
"Miley and I haven't been together in four years."
"You're keeping count, huh?"
Nick gulps, realising his mistake. "I didn't –"
"Did you know that, when she's really happy, her eyes light up?"
He doesn't respond.
"At the beginning, her eyes used to light up all the time when she was with me. Even a year ago, she was genuinely happy to be with me. But now? I'm lucky if I can get her to smile. But you – she hears your song on the radio and her eyes light up. She sees you across a room and it's like someone just handed her a damn puppy."
"Hey, man, I –"
"She loves you, and I don't know what to do about it."
I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this. I just know that he and I need to have this conversation. We all have spent far too long dancing around the issue like an elephant in the room.
"And you love her."
He looks up at me, his eyes wide. "I'm –"
"Don't try and deny it. I see how you look at her. It's the same way I look at her."
"Look, she's your girl now, okay? I had my chance – actually, I had multiple - and I blew them all. She chose you. She and I are long over."
"But that doesn't change the fact that she's still in love with you, and you her."
"Dude, I –"
"Let me get this out, okay?" I sigh. "I love her. I wouldn't have asked her to marry me if I didn't. But this thing between you and her is killing me."
"There's nothing going on."
"THERE IS!"
I hadn't intended to raise my voice, but his persistent denial is driving me insane.
"There will always be something going on, because she loves you, and you love her. And I can't compete with that." I slump down on Nick's couch and sigh. "I can't compete with you."
"I don't know what you want me to do here. She chose you."
I look up at Nick. I remember meeting him for the first time four years ago, back when he was still a lovesick sixteen year old who wanted nothing more than to surprise his girl on the set of her movie. Four years on, and he's still the same in so much that I can tell just by looking at him that he is still head over heels in love with that girl both of us were so in love with that summer.
But he isn't bitter. I can see just by looking at him that there is no resentment or anger towards Miley over her choice all that time ago. He let go because he loved her. He still loves her, and like me, he wants anything for her that will make her happy.
"I can't spend the rest of my life thinking about how my girl wants someone else."
"What do you want me to do about it? I'll avoid her, I'll stop talking to her. If it makes her happy, I'll do it, man."
"I'm going to end it with her when I head back to LA."
Nick's face contorts into a look of panic. "You can't end it with her. She'll be heartbroken."
"And that's why you're going to call her."
"What?"
"You are going to call her. Tell her you'll do what you can, whatever helps you sleep at night. Then you are going to catch the next flight out to LA and fix whatever the hell you did that summer."
He stares at me in silence.
"Do you understand me?"
He nods weakly.
"Why are you doing this for me?" he asks.
I shake my head. "This is not for you. This is for her."
"But –"
"I love Miley, and I want her to be happy. Unluckily for me, I don't make her happy anymore. But I think that you could. So I am going to do whatever it takes to see her eyes light up again."
Nick stares at me in awe. "So you're willing to lose her to make her happy?"
"Weren't you?"
"Yes, but –"
"I'm no more noble than you were four years ago." I rise to my feet and glance at him. "You helped me back then by giving her up. Now we're even. She's yours now."
I feel his eyes burning holes into my back as I make my way to his door.
"Oh, and Nick?"
"Yes?"
"That woman deserves to be cherished. She needs someone to tell her he loves her every day. She deserves that much. Take good care of her."
"You know I will."
I exit his apartment and step into the elevator. Sending her back to Nick would be the hardest thing I would ever have to do, but I know it will be worth it just to see my girl happy again.
So, my mum lent me the money for a new laptop. I'm going to be in debt to her for a while now, but it was worth it. Unfortunately, my exams still start soon, so I'm still on a break for that. I decided I couldn't leave you guys hanging forever though, so I decided to post this, which I wrote when I was computer-less.
I don't really know what this is. Is it Miam or Niley or Nick/Liam friendship? I don't really know. I wanted to write something over all the rumours that Miam are over, and this kind of just came out.