HELLO! Guess who has another Lyric plus character story? ME! But this time it's in the long awaited point of view of MRS. LOVETT! are you excited? I'm excited! Soooo I hope you like my new addition to the L+C collection :)
BTW: If you see random letters with a ' in front of it, replace the ' with H and you havea word! I just wrote this in Mrs. L's accent so I 'ope you can read it with no troubles!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except Nellies comments okay? :'(
I had him!
If you 'ad 'im 'e'd be dead, liar!
His throat was bare beneath my hand.
Well I 'ope you weren't trying to shave 'im with 'is collar on!
No, I had him!
Sure you did.
His throat was there and he'll never come again.
We'll since Anthony pissed 'im off, probably not.
Easy now, hush love hush
True, you DO need to stop shouting
I keep telling you,
But you really don't listen very well
When?
Eventually! Just chilllllllll…
Whats your rush?
'e'll die soon anyway…'e's getting' to be pretty ancient…
Why did I wait?
'Cause I told you too!
You told me to wait -
Yet did you? NO! Work on your listening and following direction skills!
Now he'll never come again.
Well that's a little pessimistic!
There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
What do craters 'ave to do with anything?
And it's filled with people who are filled with shit
Oh. Metaphorical hole. Never mind.
And the vermin of the world inhabit it.
Ewww, I 'ate buggies! Especially the ones runnin' around in my shop!
But not for long...
Not for long? So d'you have a plan to stop them?
They all deserve to die.
Oh. Well now. That sounds a bit vicious…
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why.
Because you 'ate people?
Because in all of the whole human race Mrs. Lovett,
There is no one you actually like?
There are two kinds of men and only two
Ummm…dead ones and live ones?
There's the one staying put in his proper place
And is that place their grave? You did just say everyone deserves to die…
And the one with his foot in the other one's face
Well I 'ope 'e at least wiped 'is boots first…
Look at me, Mrs Lovett, look at you.
Look at you? With pleasure, sir. *suggestive wink and eyebrow wiggle*
No we all deserve to die
I WILL die from an 'eart attack if you don't tone down your attractiveness 10 notches!
Even you, Mrs. Lovett, even I.
Rawr, you are so 'ot when you're pissed! Wait...did you just say I deserve to die?
Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief
Do wicked thoughts count? 'cause I might 'ave to be punished if they do…GrrrRawr!
For the rest of us death will be a relief
I like livin'. Particularly with an attractive, brooding barber livin' upstairs…If you get my drift…
We all deserve to die.
Someone as pretty as you doesn't deserve to die, my love.
And I'll never see Johanna
Unless you see the beggar woman who always chills outside my shop at night…
No I'll never hug my girl to me - finished!
Finished? Your song doesn't sound over to me…
Alright! You sir, how about a shave?
What? Who you talkin' to dear?
Come and visit your good friend moving!
What are you talking about?
You sir, too sir? Welcome to the grave.
Damn it. You're 'allucinating. That's totally cool, just go psycho on me, that's just great…
I will have vengeance.
Yes you will.
I will have salvation.
Yep.
Who sir, you sir?
There aren't any sirs! You're 'allucinating!
No ones in the chair, Come on! Come on!
I guess I can just wait this episode out…
Sweeney's. waiting. I want you bleeders.
I'm trying not to be turned on right now because you're 'allucinating and being all evil, but your tone of voice is making that difficult right now.
You sir! Anybody!
Stop twirling like a fairy ballerina and get a grip on yourself!
Gentlemen now don't be shy!
Oh dear…still 'asn't come back to reality, 'as he?
Not one man, no, nor ten men.
Will ever be as attractive as you? Agreed.
Nor a hundred can assuage me.
Wow, that's quite a lot of rage you 'ave there Sweeney…
I will have you!
OMG. Seriously? FINALLY!
And I will get him back even as he gloats
'Ow will sleeping with me make 'im gloat?
In the meantime I'll practice on less honorable throats.
Oh. Back to slitting throats…too bad.
And my Lucy lies in ashes …
Yeah, ABOUT that…
And I'll never see my girl again.
Back to being negative, are we?
But the work waits!
As long as you put the closed sign up!
I'm alive at last!
You died? Where was I when this 'appened?
And I'm full of joy!
You don't really sound joyful…
Was it alright? I hope I captured her personality! Tell me what you thought in a review!
P.S. if you have some time could you check out my crossover fic Sweeney's Opportunity? I would appreciate it times a million :)
Thanks To: AndromedaTodd, Maxine the unknowingly admired, obsessivelyfanaticgw09, KadekLouise, Artemis Vandelay, Bellatrix Nellie Le-Lovett, TheBrightsider, sclover4520 and everyone else who has reviewed! Thanks for your support! Love you guys :)
AND THANK YOU Toddlover13 for correcting my lyrical mistake! (or should I blam the website I got it off of? I think so! I still should double check these things though...)