ErwinWeek2017 – Day 3: Commander Handsome

A/N I usually try to come up with a clever title that isn't the same as the prompt, but it just fit so perfectly, so I'm using it anyway. Enjoy!

Levi never called people by their names.

He always used nicknames. He didn't know if it was his way of expressing attachment or contempt, but it worked either way, so he kept at it. Hanji Zoe was usually Shitty Glasses or Four-Eyes. Yeager was usually, well, Yeager, or sometimes Brat. His friend Armin was Mushroom or Coconut, depending on his mood, and he often referred to Mike as Nosy. Mikasa was a hard one to come up with a name for, so he usually just didn't talk to her at all.

Erwin, though, would always be Eyebrows. He couldn't imagine a better fitting name. Those ridiculous, bushy caterpillars on his face pretty much dominated his features, and Levi wouldn't admit it under pain of death, but he kind of low-key liked it.

He and Erwin met in high school. They quickly became best friends. Erwin was Levi's best friend pretty much because he was his only friend, and Levi was Erwin's best friend because for some reason the crazy bastard actually liked him. Their friendship began freshman year. Levi spent the first two years fighting it and denying that he actually had friends. He spent his third year wondering what it would take to make Erwin decide he wasn't worth the effort anymore. He spent their last year of high school hoping against hope that his only meaningful friendship wouldn't end once high school ended, and he (not that he'd ever admit it) imagined them going to the same college and being friends for a really long time.

Then Erwin went to West Point. So not fair.

Levi almost considered joining him there, but while he was actually pretty good at school, he was missing one of the requirements to get into the prestigious military school, so he went a different path. Somehow, surprisingly, they kept in touch. Levi still considered Erwin his only friend, even though Hanji pretty much kidnapped him every weekend to 'hang out'. They wrote letters, and in them Erwin mentioned other friends he'd made, like some guys named Mike and Nile (whom he met years later).

He told himself he wasn't jealous of his only friend finding new friends to replace him. He also hung out with Hanji slightly more willingly.

Erwin graduated from West Point first in his class, and Levi's nickname for him changed from just Eyebrows to Commander Eyebrows, even though he wasn't a commander yet (first lieutenant was close enough, right?). Erwin invited Levi to his graduation ceremony, and Levi spent a majority of his savings to fly to New York at his friend's request. Hanji tagged along, of course.

Levi graduated too, and started looking for a job. Turned out, though, that his degree wasn't as useful as he thought it would be. He struggled to find a job, and eventually turned to theft. Hanji hadn't known, about the crime, or about his partners in it, Farlan and Isabel. No, Hanji didn't know until Levi stumbled into the apartment they shared covered in blood that wasn't his. Blood that he had wished was his.

Levi had been reluctant, but she managed to coax the truth out of him. When he confessed to his misdeeds, Hanji had helped him clean himself up, left an anonymous tip for the police about the location of Farlan and Isabel's bodies, helped him into bed to sleep off the trauma, and called Erwin.

Luckily, he had leave the next week. He came to visit, and at first Levi didn't have a clue that Erwin knew about what had gone down. Then a man, a mob boss basically, tried to black mail Levi into helping him out with another job. After what had happened to his friends, Levi had sworn to himself that he wouldn't do it again, so he struggled to find a way around the deal. Luckily, he didn't have to worry.

Commander Eyebrows to the rescue, as per usual.

Erwin managed to save his ass, and then he managed to convince Levi to join up, not as a commissioned officer but as an enlisted soldier. Levi doubted he'd like it, but he didn't really care. He owed Erwin, he needed a job, and he discovered he was actually pretty good at being a grunt. Who knew, right?

Eventually, after a couple years of proving his capabilities to High Command, Levi was placed in a special ops unit with Erwin as commanding officer. As the two began working together, feelings Levi had almost completely forgotten about resurfaced, for the first time since high school. He couldn't deny the attraction he felt, as much as he liked lying to himself about those sorts of things, but he managed to keep it to himself, swearing he'd suffer in silence before messing up his friendship with Erwin or the other man's military career.

Erwin, apparently, wasn't having it. He sent for Levi to come to his office about an 'important matter', and when Levi got there, Erwin shut the door, pinned him against it, and kissed him for all he was worth. Levi only managed to resist for half a second before giving in. It was the start of a beautiful, long-in-coming relationship, one that also happened to be hugely against the rules since Erwin was Levi's commanding officer. It was dangerous, but they kept it under wraps, both of them being pretty good at keeping secrets.

His new nickname for Erwin was Commander Handsome, having finally gotten to the place where he was willing to admit to himself just how utterly gorgeous the man was. Of course, he only called him that in private, what with his being his XO and all, but still. Whenever Levi did call him that, it was enough to bring Erwin to a certain point of… arousal that Levi couldn't help but delight in.

Then they got deployed, and everything went to shit.

Levi got out without a scratch, as usual. Erwin, though, lost his arm, and he almost lost his life too. Levi barely managed to get him out of danger, and the docs handled the rest. Hanji had joined up as a civilian contract, and she was one of the doctors who managed to save his life, even if she couldn't save more than a stump of the damaged arm.

The loss of his arm was a huge blow to Erwin, and medical leave wasn't any kinder. Unable to throw himself into his work, he spiraled into depression and insecurity. The ops unit was disbanded due to the huge failure of the last mission, and also due to the fact that only a handful of members had been left standing anyway. With no unit, Levi was granted leave as well, and he spent it doing his best to rehabilitate his lover.

In the end, the army gave him an option: stay in the army and work a desk job, or retire under disability. It was a no brainer for Erwin. He chose to retire, a young man, not even 30, with no arm, no career, and nothing left of the dream career he'd had since he was a child.

Levi only had another two years left on his contract, and then he planned on retiring too. Still, he wasn't sure how exactly Erwin was going to fare over those two years, considering Levi would be gone for most of it on deployment.

The first time Levi came home on leave, his fears were confirmed. Erwin could barely look at him. Levi knew him well enough to know that it wasn't something like Erwin being bitter about Levi making it out fine or managing to stay in the army when it wasn't even his dream or anything like that. No, Levi could tell from the look in his eyes that it had everything to do with his missing arm. Erwin was powerful and strong and independent. He'd never not been able to fend for himself. He'd never been 'disabled' before, and Levi was willing to bet his own arm that Erwin wasn't adjusting as well as he wanted people to believe.

The insecurity extended beyond his professional identity and even beyond his ability – or lack thereof – to fulfill his life-long dreams. Levi could tell that it had begun to influence how he saw himself as a person, as an individual, and as a lover. When Levi came home, Erwin managed to meet him at the door, clothes wrinkled and very sexy stubble on his face. But when Levi stood up on the balls of his feet to press a kiss to his lover's lips, Erwin had turned his head, and Levi had caught his cheek instead. There had been no hug, no real physical contact at all. Erwin was usually the one to initiate kisses and hugs and cuddling and sex and just general touches – a hand on his back, an arm around his shoulder, or a peck on the top of his head. There was nothing, like he'd completely closed himself off from Levi, and he didn't know what to do to get his Commander back.

Of course, Levi was known for having a short temper, so he couldn't stand it long. He approached the topic in typical Levi fashion – a confrontation with no sugar-coating or beating around the bush. "Oi, Eyebrows," he said, calling him by the childhood nickname for the first time in a while.

Erwin had looked at him in surprise, probably both from the name and from the supremely irritated tone in Levi's voice. "Levi?"

"What's with you?"

"What do you mean?" The fucker had the gall to look confused.

Levi rolled his eyes. "What the fuck do you think I mean? You've barely touched me since I got back, and you haven't said more than 'Hello,' and 'Welcome home,' since I got here." Erwin no longer looked confused. In fact, he looked guilty, like he knew exactly what Levi was talking about and he had been afraid that Levi would mention it. Levi sighed and stepped closer to his lover, taking his hand in one of his and allowing himself to look vulnerable for the first time in a while. "What's wrong, Erwin?"

Levi didn't use people's real names. He used nicknames. That was just how he worked. Calling him 'Erwin' let the man know that he was serious and he wanted a serious, honest answer. Erwin swallowed and started to shake his head, but a glare from Levi stopped him in his tracks. They stared at each other for a moment, testing each other to see who would give first, before Erwin sighed harshly and pulled his hand away from Levi, turning away from his and taking a few steps away.

Erwin looked down at his one and only hand and shook his head. "I don't know how you can stand me," he said, and Levi thought that just might have been the dumbest thing he'd ever said in his life. "I don't know how you can want to be here."

Levi shook his head in disbelief. "What? Because you're a cripple? Because you only have one arm?" Erwin hesitated before nodding slowly, sadly, like he was ashamed. "Bullshit."

Erwin looked back at him in surprise. "What?"

Levi rolled his eyes. "I said bullshit. You think I fell in love with your arm or something? I honestly could not care less about your appendages, you moron. Maybe I should start calling you Commander Idiot, cause that's how you're acting."

Erwin hung his head, looking utterly ashamed and dejected. Levi shook his head. "No. No, I couldn't do that. You'll always be Commander Handsome." Levi moved closer to Erwin yet again and took his face in his hands, forcing him to look at him. "No matter how many arms you have or how big your fucking ridiculous eyebrows are, you'll always be the most gorgeous person I've ever met in my life, you'll always be the man I love, and I will always – always – want to be here." Erwin was looking at him with wide eyes, and Levi smirked. "And your beard is hot as fuck."

Erwin smiled, a real, true grin the likes of which Levi hadn't seen since before he lost his arm. He wrapped his arm around Levi's waist and pulled him flush against him. "Thank you, my love."

Levi rolled his eyes again. "Whatever, Eyebrows. Just fucking kiss me already. I haven't seen you in months. I should be getting a whole lot more than a peck on the cheek, you asshole."

Erwin complied, and only having one arm didn't seem to stop him from picking Levi up and carrying him to the bedroom. He plopped Levi down on the bed and climbed over him. Levi looked up at his lover with a smirk. "If I had known calling you an idiot was all it would take, I would have done it a lot sooner."

Erwin laughed. "Shut up, Levi." Then Erwin shut him up with a kiss. His stubble was probably going to rub Levi's cheeks raw, but he really didn't care. And when Erwin got bossy for the first time since the incident, Levi couldn't help but smile.

Commander Handsome was back in charge.