With Perry out "watching the game" I had to take a drive. I got in my car and turned on the radio.

/Right now he's probably slow dancing with a beach blond tramp,
and she's probably getting frisky...right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey.../ twanged some little country girl.

She got part of it right. It's not a bleach blond, but I'll bet a hundred bucks he's buying Karen Ann an appletini and a scotch for himself… that feminine little intern doesn't know what she's gotten herself into.

/ Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick, showing her how to shoot a combo.../

Not a poolstick, but definitely behind her going for a combo…

/ And he don't know...That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats...I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all 4 tires...Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats./

Really, this song could give a furious ex-wife some ideas for someone's porche...

/ Right now, she's probably up singing some white-trash version of Shania karaoke...
Right now, she's probably saying "I'm drunk" and he's a thinking that he's gonna get lucky/

Oh, he'll get lucky all right.

/ Right now, he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth of that bathroom polo.../

Perry does that to… must be a guy thing. Gosh, I feel like I know the hick who's singing this….

/ And he don't know...That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats, I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all 4 tires.../

Ooooooh, look! The Porche… now how did that go…

/ Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats. I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl, Cause the next time that he cheats... Oh, you know it won't be on me!/

Yes.. But what next?

/ No...Not on me…'Cause I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats... I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all 4 tires.../

Oh yes… I've got a slugger in the trunk…

/ Oh... Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.../