Things had come to an uncomfortable stalemate. The awkward tension that had been mounting over the past few days was becoming more of an unbearable pressure on Rose's shoulders, one that she was reminded of whenever she glanced at the Doctor.
He had told her that he was an alien. That he was hundreds of years older than she would ever be. But she hadn't really known what that meant until Sarah Jane, and she found herself wishing she could return to her state of blissful ignorance.
The Doctor still wouldn't meet her eyes – he hadn't since the conversation in the street, outside the chip shop. When he'd almost told her that he loved her.
Rose Tyler was a lot of things, but she wasn't stupid – she knew how he felt about her, and she knew how she felt about him. Until a few days ago, that would have been enough. It should have been enough.
But she'd seen the sadness in the Doctor's eyes when he spoke to Sarah Jane, the weight of his past still trailing him after all that time. He had moved on, and he never would have looked back, if not for the miraculous coincidence that brought his old companion into his life again.
She knew it was a bit selfish, but she didn't want to end up like Sarah Jane.
So that night, once all the madness was over and Mickey was settled into his new bedroom in the TARDIS, Rose shuffled trough the corridors until she found the Doctor. In the lounge, of all places. A room that the TARDIS had personalized just for Rose, who had requested a large fireplace to warm her up after they'd returned from Woman Wept. Back when he had blue eyes and big ears and a brash personality.
Not for the first time, Rose wondered how things might be different if he had never changed.
Her new, pinstriped Doctor sat in the corner of the couch near the fire, staring into the flames. He looked sad, she thought, even with the flickering light reflected in his eyes.
"Hello," she said softly, startling him a bit. He looked up at her as she padded across the carpet floor to sit beside him – close, but not touching. She leaned forward with her elbows on her knees and stretched her feet in front of her, reaching for the warmth of the fire.
When Rose was settled in, the Doctor turned his attention back to the fire. The quiet between them was awkward, remnants of the previous day's tension still hanging over their heads. They sat that way for several minutes as Rose gathered the courage to speak. She was loathe to shatter the silence, but she had come to find him for a reason. She sighed softly.
"Listen, Doctor," she said. "I know – I know today was hard, for you. Seeing Sarah Jane after a long time."
She didn't look at him while she spoke, keeping her eyes carefully trained on the movement of the flames in front of her. But she felt the Doctor's gaze against her face, knew that he was listening.
"It was hard for me, too," she admitted, when he said nothing. "A reality check, for me and you both. I'm gonna die one day."
She heard his sharp intake of breath beside her, and finally turned her head to look at him. He opened his mouth to respond.
"Rose…"
"Let me finish," she said, holding up a hand. Her throat felt like it was closing up, her voice thick and her eyes watery, but she was determined to say what she needed to. "This is important."
The Doctor already looked like he was bursting at the seams, desperate to say something, but he bit his tongue and Rose reached for his hand. He laced their fingers automatically and looked down at their joined hands. She watched his adam's apple bob as he swallowed.
"One day, I won't be around anymore, yeah?" she continued. "That day might be sooner, or it might be later, but my point is – "
Rose stopped and took a shaky breath as tears spilled down her cheeks. She closed her eyes. The Doctor stayed silent, waiting, squeezing her hand tighter and tighter as if it could keep her from ever going away.
"You've got to move on," she said. "I don't want you to let it break you. Find a way to be happy, and find someone new to show the stars to, because you're useless on your own. But please don't…don't forget me, okay? I don't want you to forget me. I don't want you to pretend like I was never here."
She went to wipe away the tears that were streaming down her cheeks and was surprised when the Doctor did it for her, brushing away the wetness with the gentle touch of his thumb, his hand resting against her jaw.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, feeling foolish and insecure, wishing she could understand what he was thinking as he shook his head.
"You don't have to be. Rose Tyler – "
He cut himself off and he swallowed again, and a sad sort of smile crossed his face.
"You're my best mate, Rose," he said. "The best I ever had. I'm never going to forget you. Not ever."
"Promise?" she asked, hating the way her voice trembled with uncertainty. The Doctor nodded and pulled her closer into his side, hugging her tight.
"I promise," he said, and she buried her face in his neck, breathing in the scent of him. The corners of her lips turned up, ever so slightly, when she felt him plant a kiss on her forehead.
She knew she couldn't stay forever. But she hoped more than anything that this time would be memorable enough.