Week 1
Rachel-NYADA
Rachel checked her watch for the third time and finally allowed herself to breath normally. Maybe she was busy. Class, some sort of orientation, maybe things got in the way. That happened sometimes, life got in the way. Maybe that was what was going on now. Life.
Still she couldn't help but be a little disappointed. She'd been looking forward to this call all day. All through the boring rigmarole of first days and looking over class syllabus' she'd thought about this moment. The moment when she could sit back, relax, and chat with Quinn about, well, whatever.
She looked at the clock one last time before huffing and pushing herself away from her desk. She'd done her best to keep busy. She'd even spent the past ten minutes tidying up, being sure none of her roommate's mess encroached on her tidy side of the room. When she finished that she'd read through the first act of the semester play her class would be performing as a freshman project.
An hour behind schedule. Quinn was an hour late with her phone call. It was disappointing, a deflating of a carefully constructed balloon. She considered simply calling Quinn and initiating the conversation herself but decided against it. Quinn said SHE'D call. She said SHE would call first if Rachel made the first trip down. Rachel knew Quinn wasn't backing out but the prospect of already being thrown off course was frustrating. They weren't even through the first week and Quinn was already getting off script. Not being able to make things happen simply wouldn't do. She was not going to coddle Quinn. Rachel knew their friendship wouldn't survive if she had to do all the work. Quinn was going to have to meet her half way.
Rachel answered her phone on the forth ring. It was after midnight on Friday, technically Saturday morning, and despite being away at college in the city that never sleeps Rachel was sleeping. Past tense. The phone had rang pulling her out of a deep and restful slumber.
"Hello?"
"Rachel I can't do this. I don't know anyone here and everybody is so." Quinn's voice trailed off. Quinn sounded exhausted. Tired in a way that didn't involve rest. She sounded beat down, mentally exhausted and emotionally worn.
Rachel had seen Quinn Fabray in many states over the years but there was something about the girl's voice that shook her up a bit. Quinn didn't fold. Rachel had never seen her fold. She was a fighter, a girl who would stop at nothing to get her way. The phrase 'I can't' didn't seem to be in her vocabulary. Yet here she was, worn down and full of self doubt. This surely wasn't HER Quinn. Her Quinn was a tough girl. The ultimate mean girl, this new girl simply wouldn't do.
"Quinn, slow down. What's going on?" Rachel asked. Quinn hadn't called that afternoon as promised but she was calling now. After midnight. Better late than never Rachel assumed. At least she'd followed through. Seven hours late yes, but she had come through.
"I don't like the people here. They treat me like I'm some sort of farm girl."
Rachel wanted to laugh. She'd gotten the same treatment from the big city kids here in New York. "Quinn they don't understand where we come from. To them we may as well be that family from the Beverly Hillbillies. It's up to us to show them that Ohio is in the United States."
"My roommate's father is a billionaire Rachel. Billionaire with a B. She barely even talks to me. She keeps calling me Gwen."
Rachel laughed causing Quinn to pout through the phone.
"It's not funny. They're all mean here. I don't fit in."
Rachel took a deep breath. "Where are you right now?"
"My room. There was this party that I didn't get invited to because I wasn't cool enough."
This simply wouldn't do. If a girl like Quinn was doubting herself what hope did SHE have. She needed to give the girl a pep talk. Rebuild her ego and self esteem.
"What is the first thing you did when you met your roommate?"
Quinn seemed to mull it over. "I introduced myself."
Okay. "Alright now what's the first thing you did when you met Santana Lopez."
Quinn laughed. "Santana was intimidating. She was pretty and athletic and super thin and in shape. I needed leverage so I looked for her weak spot."
"Right and that was?" She asked.
"Brittany." Quinn said proudly. "She clung to Brittany like a life raft."
Rachel nodded knowingly. "Okay. Well find this girl's Brittany and put the screws to her."
"She's not a lesbian." Quinn said completely missing the point.
Rachel laughed, genuinely amused. "Not literally. I mean find her weak spot and chop her down to size. It doesn't matter how much money she has, we all have a secret or an insecurity. Find hers and take the power back."
Quinn made a sound with her mouth letting Rachel know that she'd heard her. Instead of saying thank you or acknowledging it in any way she switched gears. "I'm sorry I didn't call earlier. I know I was supposed to call you at five."
"It's okay." Rachel lied. It wasn't okay though, she'd waited for an hour and a half for that phone call before she realized it wasn't coming. "You know what Quinn, it's not okay. I waited for you. I waited for you and you let me down."
"It won't happen again Rachel I swear." Quinn said.
"It can't. I won't be pushed to the side. If you tell me things are one way then they have to actually BE that way Quinn. We're too far away and life is too complicated now for us to not put forth the effort. I want you in my life but if you don't want me in yours we shouldn't waste each other's time."
"I know Rachel. I'm sorry." Was all Quinn said. Five words.
"I accept your apology." Rachel said hoping to smooth things back over.
"Do you want to go back to sleep?" Quinn asked.
"I can stay up. Talk to me. Tell me about your first week. I want to hear everything. Start with your first class of the week."
Quinn chuckled. "That's easy. Monday morning I have a regular class. Not drama. Economics. I'm sitting in that class Rachel and it hit me like lightning. I'm at Yale. Even though I'm a drama girl I can still parlay this into a business degree if I play my cards right. I mean I want to be an actress but a business degree from Yale is a hell of a backup plan."
"If I strike it rich one day you can be my manager." Rachel teased.
"You got yourself a deal." Quinn said. Rachel could practically hear her smiling through the phone.
Week 2
Quinn-Yale
The first thing Quinn noticed about Rachel's voice was that she sounded tired. Exhausted even. Still she called at the time they'd arranged when they'd said their goodbye's back in Lima. On the last day of summer the night before they head off to college Rachel and Quinn made a pact to stay in touch. They agreed that despite both moving in different directions they would stay in contact, stay friends. It was Rachel's idea they do the early evening phone calls every Friday. Quinn had agreed but hadn't taken it seriously until she'd heard how upset Rachel was when she didn't follow through that very first Friday. It wasn't until she called Rachel late that first week and was faced with the possibility of losing her that she realized it was actually important to her too.
"You sound tired, are you sick?" Quinn asked. She had never known Rachel to be sick, she couldn't even remember her missing a day of school.
"Elliptical," Rachel said between breaths. "I worked out for a while. I needed some stress relief."
Rachel needed stress relief, that was new. "Why, what's going on?"
"Nothing," Rachel said without hesitation. Still Quinn knew it was a lie.
"Don't lie to me Man Hands."
Rachel laughed. "Did you just call me Man Hands?"
"Yes. Now spit it out."
Rachel's end of the phone went silent. Quinn wasn't used to Rachel being quiet. Her obnoxious talking and self obsession was part of her quirky charm. Listening to Rachel constantly pat herself on the back was the thing she missed most about being in Lima and the Glee club.
"We had an audition today for our freshman year project. We're doing Children of God. I auditioned for the lead and I didn't get it."
Quinn wanted to laugh. Rachel was obsessive about competition and when things didn't go her way she freaked out. Every audition she blew was the end of the world. Every competition she lost was a travesty of justice.
"What happened? Is the other girl a teacher's pet? Did she bribe the judges, what?"
"She was better than me."
Quinn's mind went blank. Did she just say the other girl was better? That didn't sound right. Better than Rachel, was that even possible?
"What do you mean she's better? Did she sing it differently?"
"No. She was better. I sang first. I sang well. Then she got up on that stage and she blew me out of the water. It's how you guys must have felt watching me back in Lima. I felt totally helpless."
Quinn couldn't help but laugh. There's the old Rachel. "You never made me feel helpless."
"Really?" She asked, sounding a bit surprised. "You always looked so helpless."
"Rachel get back to the story."
"Oh, okay. Well she got the lead. I'm her understudy. I've never been an understudy in my life. I was sitting in the audience listening to her perform and it occurred to me that this may not work out. I could fail. I've dedicated my whole life to this and I may not be good enough."
Uh, oh. "Rachel you're being silly. Fame and success in show business isn't all about talent. Sometimes you have to have the it factor. You have that."
"You're just being polite."
Quinn had never heard Rachel turn down a compliment and realized this may actually take some work. "Seriously. Madonna. Brittany Spears. Ashton Kutcher. They aren't the greatest at what they do but they have the IT. Sometimes talent wins out but sometimes it's that other thing that people have that makes them a star."
"You don't think I'm talented?"
Good grief. "That's not what I'm saying Rachel. I'm saying that you're talented but talent isn't all you have to offer. Your special, you have talent and the IT. I'd put my money on you before anybody else."
"Quinn you're just."
Quinn cut her off. "Stop this. Stop all this moping around and doubting yourself. You're Rachel freaking Berry. You're not anybody's understudy. Stop acting like you're some victim. So you got beat, it's good for you. Sue Sylvester told me that everybody needs to lose at least once. I mean big time shame faced, cry on the bus ride home lose. Everybody should have to stand on the sidelines and watch the winner celebrate, watch them give their acceptance speech, see them hoist the trophy over their heads. She told me once that it builds character. Rachel you needed to lose. You needed to do your best and have it not be good enough just one time. Just once so you know how everybody else is going to feel every time you get the big part, every time you win the big award. It's about being humble Rachel. How you learn from this is what people are going to think of you. Are you the arrogant know it all constantly patting herself on the back or are you the winner who doesn't rub it in everyone's face that she beat them. Again."
Rachel laughed on her end of the phone. "So this is supposed to be some kind of lesson. I'm supposed to be humbled by this."
"At least pretend to be yeah. Think about how you feel and then think about what you need to hear to make you feel better and whenever you beat people you say those things. It's called empathy Rachel and you don't have it but the cool thing is you can fake it."
"Fake it?" Rachel asked incredulous. "Why would I want to do that? Who wants to be a loser?"
Goodness this is impossible. "Just pretend to care about other people's feelings. You come off as a snobby bitch sometimes Rachel. The people you beat don't want to constantly hear how great you are. You have to care about their feelings, or at least pretend to care."
Rachel scoffed. "And coach Sylvester told you this? It doesn't even sound like her."
Quinn laughed this time. "Actually Coach Sylvester told us we should rub it in their faces and call them losers. I figured out normal people actually do things opposite of how she does things if they want people to like them."
"Wait, are you saying people don't like me?"
Quinn sighed. "You're incredible. You're a bit of a jerk Rachel. You're a narcissist. You annoy people with talk about your prowess until they can't stand to be around you. You never learned how to be empathetic so I'm offering to teach you how to get along."
"So I'm just supposed to pretend?"
"Sure, serial killers do it all the time. Just pretend to care, tell people what they want to hear. If you start acting normal it prevents you from actually having to be normal. Think of it as a game. Or better yet a role you have to play. You're Rachel Berry, annoying know it all, but you can be Rachel Berry Superstar in public. And everybody can love her, she can be a star. All you have to do is pretend to care."
"It sounds complicated." Rachel admitted.
"It only does because you don't believe me. But I want you to trust me instead. Do what I say. Don't ask questions, don't think about it, just do it." Quinn paused giving Rachel a moment to let it soak in. "Will you do that? Do you trust me?"
Rachel sat silently for a few minutes then agreed. "Of course I trust you. Okay. I'll do it."
"Good. It's good that you trust me Rachel."
"I do. If we're going to be friends Quinn we have to trust one another. I trust you and I want you to trust me."
Quinn nodded, knowing Rachel couldn't see her through the phone but feeling as if she'd gotten the point across none the less.
"Okay, tell me about your week." Rachel finally said. "Everything start to finish, don't leave anything out."
Week 3
Rachel-NYADA
Rachel stared out her window and considered the invitation again. She'd never been big on party's but then again she'd never been invited to many parties over the years. In Lima she hadn't been popular, she had been a nobody. Here in New York though everybody seemed to like her. Sure it had been rough at first but now she was one of the gang. She'd even go so far as to call herself one of the cool kids. Of course that was all thanks to Quinn's advice. Empathy, go figure.
The phone rang as soon as the minute hand changed and Rachel found herself holding back her excitement as she answered. She'd been looking forward to the call all week and the moment she heard Quinn's voice she let herself relax.
"Hey you." Quinn said casually. Rachel was always amazed at how relaxed the girl was. Nothing seemed to bother her. She was always in complete control, stoic.
"Quinn guess what?"
Quinn laughed. "You took my advice and now you actually managed to make friends."
Rachel fought back a smile. "Yeah actually. I did what you said and pretended to care about people and all of a sudden people love me. I mean I told that girl who beat me how good she was and how I just wanted to put on the best show possible and everybody thought I was great. Well she thinks I'm Eve Harrington but the rest of them don't suspect a thing. I can't believe I didn't know any of this before now. If I had I'd have taken over half the school in Lima."
Rachel had been employing Quinn's empathy trick every chance she got these days. Everybody told her everything. She knew everybody, everybody knew her, and she was always included. Hanging out, dinners, movie nights, she hadn't been left out once.
"I think you're getting the wrong idea Rachel. You're not supposed to be trying to take anything over, You're supposed to be getting people to love you. Start thinking long term. That was my problem. I listened to Coach Sylvester and never thought past high school. By the time I graduated everyone envied me and all the girls wanted to be me but I didn't have any friends. The only friends I had were the ones I made in glee club."
"What about now?" Rachel asked digging for an acknowledgment. Quinn didn't bite.
"I'm doing okay. My roommate doesn't bother me any more. She's afraid of me."
That was the point. She wanted to scare the girl into submission. "I thought that was the point."
"It was," Quinn admitted. "Only I may have laid it on a bit thick. I pretty much told her that there was nothing she could do to me or say to me that was going to break me. I put my Lucy Caboosey picture in a frame on my desk. I told her about getting pregnant at sixteen and how I got kicked out of the house. I told her that even after all that I still almost won prom queen. I told her about the car accident and how I ended up in a wheelchair. Then I told her that if she got in my way I'd turn her into a skid mark. Her friends spread the story and all of a sudden I'm freaking Genghis Kahn. Half the girls are trying to be my minions and the rest steer clear of me."
Strange that it would go THAT far Rachel thought. Quinn could be scary and intimidating but underneath it all she was a pussycat. Sure she did crazy things sometimes but it was all in jest, usually.
"Well I'm sure it'll die down." Rachel said doing her best to be reassuring. "It can't be all bad."
Quinn chuckled. "It's fine I guess. I was just hoping I didn't have to do this here. I wanted to be a normal girl here. I guess it turns out I'm not meant to be a normal girl."
"Quinn." Rachel started.
"It's okay Rachel. I get it. I'm supposed to be this domineering heartless cutthroat bitch. That's my path. I made a decision this week."
Rachel was almost afraid to ask. It didn't sound good whatever it was. "What did you decide?"
"While I'm here I'm going to get a degree in Finance. Afterwards I'm going to get an MBA and when I graduate and get a job I'm going to make a bunch of money. I'm going to be ruthless and cutthroat because it appears that's my path."
"Quinn."
"It's okay Rachel. I've made my peace with it. I'm fine. But for right now I want you to tell me about your week. Tell me what's going on with you."
Rachel hesitated for a moment. Just long enough for Quinn to reiterate her point.
"Don't you dare try and talk me out of it Rachel. It's not an aimless mission anymore like back in high school. I have a destination now. All I need from you is to know me for who I really am. Know me for the girl I want to be instead of for the girl I have to be."
Rachel suddenly felt awful for her friend. "You can be the new person with me. Our friendship can be where we share the new you. You can tell me anything, be anything you want to be with me. I don't care who you are with other people Quinn, all I care about is who you are when you're with me."
Quinn stayed silent for a moment then finally spoke up. "Thank you Rachel, that means a lot to me."
"No problem, just tell me this and we can get back to our normal chatter."
"Okay." Quinn ventured cautiously.
"When can I come to visit you?"
"Are you kidding, I bought train passes for a reason, and you agreed to make the first visit. Tell me when you want to come down and I'll meet you at the train station."
"How about the weekend after next?"
"That sounds great, we'll do a weekend and hang out. It sounds like fun."
Rachel could hear in Quinn's voice that she actually sounded excited. "Good and promise me that we'll use your new status to have some fun. I want to see you torture someone."
Quinn seemed game. "Of course. You'd be surprised the things you can pull off through fear."
"I'm looking forward to seeing first hand. But as for right now I'll tell you all about my week."
"I'm all ears."