Letters to Lily
"Dear Lily,
I thought I'd get a letter with my typical "My Dear Lily" or even "My Little Sunshine," but I imagined it would only let you angry, and would cause you to tear this letter, which is not that I want.
First of all, I wanted to leave one thing clear: I'm not here to write about my everlasting love for you or to make a declaration of love. Just wanted you to know that I miss you.
Yeah, that's all.
Lie, that's not all.
I know that you are probably rolling your eyes now, and thinking about how I'm "arrogant", but know that I don't have the typical playful smile on my face. I'm sad, really. Almost depressed.
I have spent the entire vacation without having heard nothing yours. Then you wonder why I didn't send letters to you, like I always do, but I thought I'd better change their strategy. You didn't answer my owls, and when answered, it was thick and insisted on applying well her "I hate you, Potter." Seriously, I think I can still hear their screams.
Sirius has plagued me the entire vacation, trying to make me have fun and everything else, but I just can't. In September of this year we will be in our seventh year at Hogwarts, completing seven years since I've known you since five and wait for a chance with you. And I bet it'll be another year I'll have to get outs and hear you screaming that you hate me and applying me so many flaws, without looking at a single quality. That hurts, you know?
Remember our third year? I remember several facts you may not remember, or simply pretend not to remember.
It was the third year that I started to nickname you, remember? Bad or good nicknames, depending on your point of view, and you never showed any love. I'll always feel like laughing when you hear someone call you little fire, or when I refer to you as little Lily.
It was also the third year that I called you out first. It was in mid-October, and today I enjoy remembering her reaction.
I was already watching you since we started our third year, and was giving you more value than actually demonstrated. I remember the request was made early in the morning, one day we both woke up unusually early. You came down the stairs of your dorm radiant, full of books and obviously getting ready to spend your day studying. I had left the Marauders to sleep more and was going to the Great Hall before I see you.
Even having woke up that moment, you looked beautiful. The distracted look and a slight red glow in your hair. I went to you and, smiling, said "Good morning, my love." As was customary, you rolled your eyes and have responded with a usual "What you want, Potter?". I was still smiling. "Nothing." Before my courage went away and take along your patience, I said, "Actually, I wanted to ask one thing: Will you go out with me? Soon we will visit to Hogsmeade, and you have nothing to lose." I gave my best smile but all you said was" I will never go out with you, Potter." And left.
I ended up staying in common room, waiting until the Marauders go down and ask me if everything was OK.
In the fourth year I didn't cast any progress with you. Nor is the fifth in which you were busier than ever. Involved in your studies and your monitoring work with Remus, you didn't even had time to be yelling at me. Only Remus knows how often we combined your schedules so they could round I foresee a time and a place where we "accidentally" find ourselves.
The sixth year would have been the best of all. I can remember every minute detail of that ball fall. You looked beautiful in a red dress that emphasized your green eyes, and the best time of the party was when I convinced you to dance with me. Involved in the only decent conversation that we had one day, you will not even notice that we were already in the gardens. Dancing a slow song, I wrapped my arms and pressed my lips to yours. But soon you pushed me away and totally pissed-off. You took six days without looking at my face until I got disturb the corridors and you had to talk to me again, or rather yell, as I had just won an arrest.
But I don't regret what I did.
I only regret the fact that today you don't trust me and aren't able to give me a chance. I know you're afraid of accepting me and leaving with a broken heart, but believe me, you aren't "another", and I'll never use you and throw away, as you imagine. I know that your friends encourage you to accept that you like me, even if you insist on telling us that you hate me.
I think now you understand why girls love writing diaries. This is great. I feel much lighter to be sharing what I think with anybody, not even making sure that you'll read this letter. (Note: Sirius would laugh like a crazy if he read this part, not to mention that he would be calling me a "deer" for a long time ... that dog ...)
Talking about diary, I read your last year. For someone who says that hates me so much, you write enough "Potter"s in it.
I do not know at what time this letter will reach you, but now I need to go, it's dinner time and Sirius is screaming and banging on my door, asking "what are you doing there?".
Hoping that you read and answer me,
From your eternal,
James Potter. "
Lily read and reread the letter at least 7 times. Small tears could be seen on her face, even having a faint smile on her lips.
How could she neglect him for so long? In fact, who was him? Because Lily was sure she had never known that side of the hated, arrogant, boastful and conceited Potter.
Maybe it was sleep that was preventing her from thinking straight, but she believed in every word that was wrote in that letter.
Lily Evans believed in James Potter.
While still smiling, she thought he deserved an answer. But nothing similar to what he had written. She needed to write something short, but demonstrating that she had taken into consideration everything that she had read.
Picking up a pen and ink, Lily wrote a simple question and sent with her owl.
"The invitation to come out stills up?"
James just couldn't stop that big smile of happiness that could be found in his face at that moment.
Even without sender or recipient, he would recognize anywhere Lily's handwriting.
Seeing his face, Sirius, who returned from the bathroom, turned to him.
- Why the stupid smile, Prongs? - He joked.
- It's Lily, Sirius.
- What she did to you this time? - Sirius asked.
- She took me out, man. Me!
To prove it, showed the letter to Sirius and Lily played on the bed, very happy inside.
But soon got up to answer it.
It should be something simple, just as she had done.
James scribbled a quick "Always." in a piece of parchment and sent Lily's owl back home.
Lily was sleeping with a strange feeling inside her, something more than happiness. She was surprised of be giving James a chance, and afraid too, but could not deny that she was happy.
Without worrying about the weight that Hogwarts comment on how Potter had finally hooked it, Lily slept in peace.
Only Sirius saw that James Potter had fallen asleep hugging a piece of parchment that night.
Well, this is my first english fanfic. It must be full of grammatical errors, so whatever you find wrong, tell me, ok?
This is a translation of my portuguese fic, "Cartas para Lily". I had some fun writing it, so I hope you enjoy! ;P
Oh, i wanna thank Judy Black, who inspired me to do this translation!