Itachi has always been serious about every decision he makes, and this one is no exception. He's fully aware of the potential repercussions, but he's determined to do it all the same. His mind is set, and he's run through every conceivable argument and reason to follow a different course of action, but he remains resolute. He wants this.
Telling his father is only going to be the start of the hardships his decision will likely bring. Knowing this, Itachi waits until the day before to tell him, hoping that there will be little Fugaku can do in such a short space of time to stop him.
Because he's going to do it, if Shisui will agree.
The family eat their early dinner mostly in silence, lost in thought after the details of the day have been discussed, and the meal has almost come to a close before Itachi speaks up.
"I'm going to the blessing ceremony tomorrow with Shisui," he announces.
It takes a second for his words to register, and when they do everyone freezes. Itachi, returning his chopsticks after his last bite, holds himself upright, determined not to waver, no matter what comes next.
"What?"
Fugaku's composure is shocked from him, and he blurts out the question in surprise. Sasuke stares at Itachi with a wide, astonished gaze, but his mother's focus is on her husband.
"You can't be serious!" Fugaku breathes, forgetting who his son is in that moment. Itachi waits for him to regain his composure a little. "You and Shisui?"
"The blessing ceremony?" Sasuke asks, seeking clarity. There's only one ceremony Itachi can be referring to, and he nods, ignoring his father's flabbergasted, open-mouthed disbelief.
"Have you thought this through?" his mother asks, stern. "This isn't something you do on a whim."
"I know," Itachi says. "I've thought it through. I want to do this." He hesitates, weighing his words before continuing. "I'm going to do this. I know what it means for the clan, and any plans of marriage you had for me, but this is where my heart lies. I hope for you blessing, but I will not beg for it. All I ask is that you respect the decision I've made, even if you cannot stand by me."
"You and Shisui…?" Fugaku asks again, still shocked. His gaze at last shifts into focus as he stares at Itachi. "How long…?"
Itachi can calculate precisely how long it's been since he and Shisui shared their first kiss, and realised there was more between them than just friendship, but he doesn't think his father seriously wants an answer to that question. "A while," is all he says.
"Are you in love?" Sasuke asks.
It's only his unfamiliarity with expressing his innermost feeling that causes Itachi to hesitate for the barest of moments before answering with a resolute: "We love each other, yes."
He feels a pang of regret as he sees the hurt in Sasuke's eyes. It's clear he feels betrayed by Itachi's decision not to confide in him. He knows he will have to apologise and explain his decision later.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Fugaku asks, the force crushed from his voice by the blow Itachi has dealt.
"Would you have allowed us to see each other if I did?" Itachi asks.
Fugaku's silence is answer enough. Same-sex unions are not uncommon, but within the Uchiha they are rare. If Shisui were a distant female relative, rather than a male one, there would have been no objection, and no reason to keep their relationship secret, but there will be those who strongly oppose the Uchiha heir's departure from tradition. Shisui means too much to Itachi for him to have risked it before.
"You might have trusted us," Fugaku says at last, catching Itachi by surprise. The words bite into him with more strength than he'd expected, and his gaze falls to the table.
Sasuke stays uncharacteristically quiet, and Itachi can feel his parents' eyes on him. Having achieved what he set out to do, there is no reason to stay.
"Please excuse me," he says, not waiting for a response before rising. As he walks away he half hopes to be called back, but is relieved when no one shouts after him. The silence can't last long, and he wants to be gone before the inevitable begins. It's almost too late for Fugaku to do anything to stop Itachi from going ahead with what he intends to do, but there will be fallout within the clan. No one will thank him for this.
Well, maybe one person will. His thoughts turning towards Shisui, Itachi slips from the house. There is still one more thing he has to do…
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When Itachi, mouth dry and palms clammy, knocks on the door, Shisui answers it with a spoon in his mouth and a tub of ice cream in his hand, because this is Shisui. He grins around his mouthful, his whole face lighting up as it always does when he sees Itachi.
His expression falters a little in confusion when he sees what Itachi does next.
Itachi bows. He's rehearsed this moment again and again in his mind, and is determined to get it right. The affection he felt at the sight of his lover is smothered by the anxiety rising in his breast and threatening to compromise him as he speaks.
"Uchiha Shisui," he begins, his voice tight and the formality a strange weight on his tongue. He can tell Shisui is still too stunned to interrupt, and takes advantage of that fact, trying to ignore his own nerves; despite his confident words when telling his family of his intentions, Itachi doesn't know if he really will be going to the ceremony tomorrow with Shisui. He hasn't asked him yet.
Before he can think too hard on what he's doing, and falter any further, Itachi continues. "Will you do me the honour of attending the blessing ceremony with me tomorrow morning?"
Shisui squeaks. He actually squeaks. He squeaks, and laughs, and then tugs at Itachi with his free hand, the spoon shoved unceremoniously back into the ice cream.
Itachi, unprepared for the excited reaction, even though he'd hoped for it, goes easily.
"Of course I will!" Shisui breathes, the broadest grin Itachi had ever seen plastered across his face as Shisui leans in to kiss him. His lips are cold and soft, his body warm and radiating vibrancy, and he manages to pull Itachi over the threshold and kick the door shut, all the while balancing his food and a sweet, tender kiss that shivers with the excitement they both feel.
Or, rather, Shisui feels. Itachi is still trying to process Shisui's answer, and is too relieved when the words sink in to do more than wrap his fingers around Shisui's arm, thankful that, after his confession at dinner, he won't have to go home and admit that Shisui doesn't want him after all.
As if hearing his thoughts, Shisui chuckles warmly, smiling and stealing several kisses. "I've been waiting forever for you to ask me," he murmurs between touches.
"You have?" Itachi can't help asking.
"Mm, who doesn't dream of Uchiha Itachi turning up at their door and asking them to go to the blessing ceremony with him?"
Itachi has to tell himself Shisui was teasing. He doesn't want to think of anyone but Shisui longing for him.
"Would you have ever asked me?" he suddenly wonders. Status dictates that Itachi should be the one to ask, but Shisui has been known to fly in the face of what is expected to achieve his goals.
"Maybe?" Shisui grins. His expression becomes a little more serious as he continues, cold fingers tucking under Itachi's chin and thumb stroking over his lower lip. "I didn't think you were ready, though. I thought that maybe next year I could mention it, see how you reacted. I didn't think…"
He switches back to grinning again, and kisses Itachi before pulling away, awarding himself a generous mouthful of ice cream. From the way he stills, screwing his eyes shut and pulling a face, he's managed to give himself brain freeze.
Itachi can't stop the affectionate smile that tugs at his lips, unable to help finding the man before him utterly endearing. No matter the situation Itachi sees him in, nor the state, he still wants Shisui, and longs to be by his side. Hopefully forever.
"Push your tongue against the roof of your mouth," he advises, waiting for the play of discomfort to stop. "Don't eat it so fast."
"I'm excited," Shisui points out. He considers licking the spoon, and then shifts his attention to Itachi. "Do your parents know?"
Itachi nods, uncomfortable with the interaction that took place. "I told them before I came here."
"Wow," Shisui breathes. "How did they take it?"
"Better than I thought they would," Itachi admits. "But still, they are displeased with being kept in the dark."
"Are they going to try and stop us?"
"I hope not." Itachi considers the possible outcomes for the umpteenth time, and how to counter them. "I made it clear what this means to me."
"You did?"
"I did. They know that, even without their support, I am going to do this."
Shisui bites his lip, overflowing with near unbridled excitement. "And afterwards…" he starts. "Will you be visiting more often?"
"I hope so. Unless you have any objection?"
"None," Shisui insists, at last dumping the ice cream on the sideboard so he can stroke Itachi's hair back with two hands. "None whatsoever."
Itachi leans into the touch, allowing his body to soften and mould to the contours of Shisui's chest as they embrace.
"Are we really doing this?" Shisui asks, more to himself. Itachi answers anyway.
"We are."
Shisui gives a small hiccup of emotion as Itachi leans in and kisses him, chasing the lingering chill from Shisui's mouth. Mine, he thinks, fingers tangling in Shisui's hair. A gentle nip at his lips causes a shout to echo within himself, one he longs for Shisui to hear: yours.
"'Tachi…" Shisui murmurs as he pulls back and gazes at Itachi. "You've already made me the happiest man in the world. This… tomorrow…" he is breathless as he continues. "It will be nirvana."
Itachi can't untangle the myriad of feelings within him. They almost get the better of him, and he closes his eyes and hides himself against Shisui's neck. Understanding him, Shisui holds Itachi close, saying nothing more. Itachi can feel his smile.
"I had best be going," he says at length. He wants to stay, but knows that they will have time enough for that after tomorrow.
"When shall I meet you?" Shisui asks, taking his time in letting go.
"At nine, in the outer courtyard."
"Got it," Shisui nods, smiling and pushing at a strand of Itachi's hair as he gazes at him with open adoration. He opens his mouth to say something more, and then catches himself, smiling a private smile instead.
"What?" Itachi asks, his heartrate doubling.
"Nothing," Shisui lies. "I'll tell you tomorrow."
Itachi considers pressing, wanting to know what it was, and then decides to leave it. No matter how much it feels like he can't, he can wait.
Instead, he leans in and gives what he intends to be a parting kiss. They often aren't when it comes to Shisui, and, surely enough, the older Uchiha chases after him, following him. Itachi only half minds. It makes it difficult to pull away, to leave, but he wouldn't change a thing about Shisui for the world.
In the end, he uses a firm hand on Shisui's chest to create the distance they need, able to feel Shisui's rapid pulse beneath his palm. He smiles, half in apology, up at Shisui.
"I'll see you tomorrow," he promises.
"Tomorrow," Shisui agrees.
Allowing themselves one last, lingering kiss, Itachi finally leaves.