/Theres nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do
to make you see
what you mean to me/
Gravity. The way a person is held to the ground. The reason why you are living. Lots of times I felt like I had lost it. I didn't feel the need to be alive anymore. Why? Because I didn't love anyone anymore. Or so I thought. The main reason was probably because I couldn't find anyone to love me back.
It all started with Mama and Papa leaving me. They didn't want me anymore, but then again maybe they never wanted me. Either way I was worthless to them.
I think that is the problem with the world, children need the love and attention from their parents to live and be happy while doing so; parents don't. They could go on living a happy normal life without children but a child needs parents.
But I think what hurt me the most is that I have a sister. A sister that I have never met, only seen from a distance. A child of the same genetics but does not have the one thing that drove my parents to get rid of me. A curse. No, the curse.
The curse itself is confusing to everyone who has experienced what we as jyuunishi have. Its really hard to describe. I want to run from Akito but at the same time I want to hug him. I want to be free of him but I feel I can't live without him.
Not that Akito would ever want to hug me. He absolutely hates me. I don't want him to like me, but at the same time I feel his disapproving eyes eating away at my insides. It kills me to know that he despises me. But every time I think about him wanting meI feel sick thinking about the way he touches Yuki and Haru and all the rest of the favored males. In a way I am glad I am not favored because I don't want his pale, spidery fingers touching my body. Not that he has ever touched me without hitting me or pushing me out a window. But in the end the fact that my "master", my "god" does not love me slowly kills me.
Rin prayed to the real God when she was younger that he would save her. That he would send an angel to help her. But after a few months of praying and hoping; no response came; Rin gave up hope.
Rin was naive then and had expected a white glow to come from the heavens and for some one with wings and a halo to come down and greet her. She never thought that the boy with with snow with hair, soothing chocolate brown eyes, and who always got into fights over his appearance, had an invisible halo of his own.
She never noticed it when she was little. Days that went badly, most every days since her father started beating her, it was Haru who would bring her spirits up. It was Haru who had stood up to her mother in the hospital when she couldn't. It was Haru who remained her friend throughout her whole life, never once complaining about how hard it is to keep up with her constantly changing emotions. It was Haru who kissed her on the anniversary of her mother and fathers abandonment and told her he loved her and wanted to be with her forever.
And now laying there in his arms she absolutely knew that he was her angel. That God had made it their destiny to meet. To fall in love. To save each other from the dark shadows of the curse. He was the one she thought about so many times before deciding not to kill herself. He had kept her alive for so many years. And little did she know that she had done the same thing for him.
"I love you," Haru whispered as he kissed her temple and continued down the path of her cheekbone, straying down to her jawline. Rin closed her eyes as Haru kissed her.
"I do too," Rin said pausing to kiss his lips, "You are my everything."
"Mine too, I don't know how I every survived without you."
That was the peculiar thing about lovers was that them being their everything wasn't a lie. It was just the closest thing they could say to express their feelings toward you. It runs so deep in your body that there are no words, just a simple sentence that says it all. The sentence seen it a lovers eyes. Sometimes expressed with words, sometimes with actions, sometimes it was just understood.
You are my everything. You are my gravity.