After a lengthy absence, I decided to drop in with a one-shot focusing on Jubilee, just to see, if I can still write X-Men fics.

This sad little monologue is dedicated to my favourite fellow author, DarkSabretooth, whom you all, I suppose, know and love. Sadly enough, though, he seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth, because I have not heard of him, and no one seems to able, to tell me something about his whereabouts, or if he is fine.

So, my dearest DarkSabretooth, if you are out there, reading this, please send me a note, to let me know, that you are fine.

This one is solely for you.

Sincerely

Felidae

Disclaimer. Marvel owns her. Sadly enough, I must say.

Summary: Jubilation does a little reflection on her current role within the X-Men

Reviews. My, of course, if you please…

Archive: No. I'm serious. This one's not for archive, sorry.

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BeLittled

I'm not really here, y' know.

Well, I am, physically and mentally, but, it's not like it really matters.

I could just aswell be some pic on the shelf or a garden hose, I'd probably get more attention that way.

Huh? No, I don't need admirers or stalkers, but, you know, somebody to show that they..care.

And mean it.

No, don't give me that whole "but-Logan-cares-lots-for-you"-shit, I stopped buying that the last time I called him to ask for help with my problems( aka nightmares starring Bastion) and he told me something about Kitty's love troubles.

Hmm? No, I'm not peeved at Ki-ok, so perhaps I got a chip on my shoulder, where she's concerned, but it's really not her fault, you see?

There were times, I wondered, how far I had to take it, for Logan to give me just, y' know, a little of his time? Yeah, he did write me, like twice an year-birthday and christmas, you figured it. No phone calls, no mails, nothing.

And then, I died.

No, seriously, I was crucified, along with Angelo and several other ex-X-kids, my breathing and heartbeat had stopped, and thanks to Warren's blood, I made it back.

Ange wasn't so lucky, and they didn't even have the decency to bury him on the Xavier's family graveyard, no, he had to been dug up from the public cemetary, cremated, and then taken home.

So far about the prof's talk of being 'one big family'.

Obviously, family only goes as far as being one of the 'chosen' within the X-Men.

Everybody's flocking around the veterans, which, in turn, take care of the new kids.

Since I don't fit in either category, I'm left out.

Even those, who were supposed to be close to me, just give me that same, blank, friendly look and smile, that says "hey there, kid".

As if they didn't even know my name.

As if I haven't fought by their sides, over and over again, risking everything by doing so.

And Wolverine is no exception.

I think, he changed more words with Warren on the last mission than with me, since I woke up from the dead.

The saddest part? I actually believed him, when he told me, I had him scared half to death when I almost died.

But that's all water under the bridge, as is, obviously, any bond we used to have.

Not that I didn't tried to reunite with everybody, y know, how stubborn I can be.

But after the twentieth or fortieth "not now, Jubilee", even I start feeling…alienated. I don't give up, though, it's just..I don't push it anymore. If somebody comes to me, that's fine, but I won't go chasing their attention any longer.

Never mind, if their uncaring, superficial attitude towards me breaks my heart every day just a little bit more.

And that I've never felt so lonely in my entire life.

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Hopefully, this reaches you, DarkSabretooth-oh, and you others, please R&R, thanks.