It was cold.
He couldn't move, when Steve had broken the arc reactor, it had shut down the suit. After the two super soldiers left, he had managed to crawl further in. It provided him some shelter but no warmth. He might not have needed the reactor to keep out the shrapnel anymore, but the suit still required a power source.
It was so cold.
"FRIDAY? You there?"
There was no reply. "Shit." Tony could only hope FRIDAY was alerting someone.
It was really cold.
—
"Miss Potts."
"Yes FRIDAY?"
"I have lost contact with Boss. His suit has gone off line. Sending through his last location now."
"Oh God, Tony is in Siberia? What is he doing in Siberia?"
—
By the time Vision got to Tony, he was in hypothermic shock. Steve smashing his shield into the suit had caused enough damage to the suit that Tony was left with 3 broken ribs and extensive bruising across his torso. And to top it all off, the panic attacks and nightmares were back in full force. Although they'd never gone away since New York, he'd gotten better at managing them. But when Vision came to take him home from the hospital and he got back to the facility to find Cap's shield leaning against the kitchen counter, he couldn't breathe and the cold was back. It took almost half an hour for Vision to calm him down again, and only after he'd removed the shield from the room.
Tony disappeared into his workshop for the next two days. Nothing Pepper or Rhodey did would get FRIDAY to let them in. Nat only tried after Pepper yelled at her and even she couldn't find a way around FRIDAY.
When he finally emerged from his workshop, Rhodey found him in the kitchen making a cup of coffee. "Hey Tones, FRIDAY said you'd finished?" He wasn't sure what was going on and he didn't want to accidentally do something that might scare Tony off.
"Yeah, they still need some tweaking but I'll need experimental feedback for that." Tony turned around carefully, nursing his steaming cup. He looked like he hadn't slept at all the past two days and Rhodey was willing to bet that he probably hadn't. "You'll walk again I promise Rhodey." He gestured to the metal braces leaning against the bench with his free hand.
"Tones, you didn't have to," Rhodey began.
"Nuh-uh Honey bear, no complaining. Now I'm going to take a shower and you're gonna put those on and when I come back I want test data."
"Oh so I'm just your guinea pig then?" Rhodey grinned, maybe Tony was going to be okay after all.
He spoke too soon, half an hour later, Tony was still in the shower. The only explanation he got from FRIDAY was "Boss is trying to warm up".
Rhodey busied himself in the gym, testing out the braces until he was interrupted by a panicked FRIDAY. "Colonel Rhodes, Boss has overridden the temperature limits in the bath, if I continue heating the water he will sustain burns."
"Ah shit."
"Tony, I swear to God if you don't open this door, I will break it down." Rhodey banged his hand against Tony's bathroom door. "I'm not kidding, your workshop door may be bullet proof but this one isn't." He raised his arm to hit the door again but swung into empty air as Tony opened the door, a towel wrapped around his waist and a second slung around his shoulders
"I'm just so cold Rhodey..." Tony's face was pinched and his eyes tired.
"I know Tones, come on, get dressed. I've got some data for you." Rhodey's face softened at the lost look on Tony's face. He didn't want to push the issue right now, but needed to find a psychologist for Tony. Someone discreet.
—
Tony threw himself back into the workshop, Rhodey moved into the facility, he told Tony it was because of his legs, but really he was there to make sure Tony ate and slept. He was sure if they left Tony alone, he'd work himself to death. It was worse than after New York.
"Tony, take a break, you've gotta eat something. And how long has it been since you've slept." Rhodey yelled over the music pumping through the workshop.
"It has been 54 hours and 16 minutes since Boss slept." FRIDAY turned down the music to a more acceptable volume
Tony didn't even turn away from his work as he replied. "Traitor. And I'm fine Rhodey, I'll sleep once I'm finished here."
"Tony it's one am. Get some sleep, you can come back to this."
—
"He's my friend." Steve stated that like it explained everything.
"So was I." Tony felt his heart shattering.
"That shield doesn't belong to you," Tony yelled at Steve's retreating back. No stay! Don't leave me. Please. "You don't deserve it." Turn around. "My father made that shield." Please.
Cold.
Tony sat up with a gasp. He was shivering uncontrollably. "FRIDAY turn the heating up." He thinks she might have replied but he couldn't hear her over the roaring in his ears.
"Colonel, Boss had a nightmare." Rhodey had asked FRIDAY to wake him up after Tony almost burnt himself again trying to get warm. Struggling a little, he made it out of his bed, into the wheelchair. He wheeled himself out and to Tony's door.
"Tones, you in there?" He pushed open the door. God, it was warm in here. Tony was still shivering violently, curled in on himself wrapped in blankets. "Oh shit, Tony, Tony look at me. You're in New York. We're in the New Avengers Facility remember?"
"I-I'm so c-cold." Tony stuttered out. That was good, he knew Rhodey was there, but his eyes were glassy, looking through Rhodey rather than at him.
"Tony, it's okay, you're home." Rhodey wheeled up to the bed and heaved himself up. Sitting on the edge, he placed his hands on Tony's shoulders. "Its okay, feel my hands, they're warm right?" Tony nodded slightly, he was still shivering, but it was more of a tremble now.
Rhodey sat there with his hands on Tony's shoulders until he calmed down again. "What's the time?" Tony asked softly.
"It's almost three thirty. Go back to sleep Tony." Rhodey tried to push him back down.
"No, can't sleep now. I'm going to go down to the workshop." He pulled the covers off him, a little more awake now, shuffling towards the door.
Rhodey manoeuvred himself back into his chair and rolled after him. "Tony, you need more sleep."
Tony turned to face his friend, "I can't Rhodey, I can't sleep and I need to do something. I close my eyes, Rhodey and I-I just, it's, I can't, Rhodey." Tony was almost pleading and Rhodey could see the desperation in his eyes. Rhodey never asked what it was the Tony dreamt about but he knew it was too much for Tony to face alone. And that was the problem. After New York, he had the team, and eventually he got better at managing his anxiety. But what was he supposed to do not that his team, his family had left. When it was one of them who was causing these panic attacks. Rhodey might not have asked, but he knew it was Captain Rogers who was at the root of this all.
"Yeah alright then, but I'm coming down there with you. I'm not leaving you alone right now." Rhodey was firm as he gestured for Tony to lead the way.
—
"Cap," Sam called from the cockpit of their stolen quinjet. "Cap. Steve."
"Yes, sorry, just got a bit distracted." Steve shook his head and turned to face him. "Is there something you need?"
"You've been out of it since you picked us up from the Raft. Whats going on Cap?" He put the jet on autopilot and spun to face him.
"I just, I sent Stark a letter and a phone, and well I know it ended badly, but I, well I thought I would have heard from him by now." Steve sighed and looked a little hurt.
"Steve, just give him some time. I'm sure he'll come around." Sam gave him a slightly pitying look. "We can call Nat if you still haven't heard from him in a few days."
"Thanks."
—
"Sam." Natasha's face appeared on the holo screen.
"Nat, how are you? How is Rhodey doing, and Stark?"
"Well they're alive." Nat's answer was short and her tone clipped.
"Nat, who is it?" Empty mug in hand, Tony shuffled over to the kitchen. Nat froze.
"Oh. Hi Sam." Tony's voice was slightly rough. "Didn't expect you to be calling." He smiled weakly, Nat let out a small sigh of relief, seeing Sam didn't trigger a panic attack and Tony seemed alright, slightly hurt but otherwise fine for the moment.
"Stark." Sam hadn't quite prepared to see Tony again yet. "How are you?"
"Never better." The mask snapped up but the false bravado was easy to see through and it broke Nat's heart. "What have you been up to these days?"
"You know, just hiding from the government, the usual." Sam gave a small grin.
"Tony?" Steve's voice filtered in from somewhere behind Sam and Tony froze. A second later, his face appeared beside his.
"Shit." Nat dropped the phone and turned around. "Tony, you with me here?" Tony's eyes were glassy and his breathing had sped up.
"Tony? Nat? What's going on?" Steve's voice still coming through the phone.
"FRIDAY end the call." Nat had already jumped over the back of the couch to where Tony was curled on the floor, coffee spilt beside him. "Come on Tony, stay with me here. It's fine, they aren't here, its just us Tony."
"Right yeah, okay, I'm okay." Tony's voice as a little shaky but he was looking at Nat and his breathing had steadied. "I'm going to take a shower." He turned on his heels and left.
Damn it. Nat knew they had just taken a step back. "There is a call for you, Agent Romanov. I took the liberty of silencing it." FRIDAY's Irish accent came filtering in.
"Thanks." She walked back over to where she'd dropped his phone. It was Sam again, her finger hesitated over the end button for a few seconds. "This had better be worth it." She muttered angrily at the two faces now peering at her from the screen.
"What just happened? Is everything alright? Where did Tony go?" Steve was frowning with what Nat guessed was confusion and concern he had no right to.
"No, everything is not alright, no thanks to you." Nat held her anger, bubbling under the surface. She could hear the water running and he knew Tony wouldn't be out of the shower for at least another half hour.
"Nat, please just explain." Sam tried
"Explain? I don't think you deserve an explanation." At the hurt in their face's Nat continued. "Or maybe, you do, you deserve to know exactly what it is your actions have caused."
"We were just doing what we thought was right. You switched sides too." Steve tried to defend himself. "Bucky was innocent..."
"No, Steve, you don't get to talk here. I did what I thought was right but I owned up to my actions. I let you go, but I didn't try and kill Tony in the process." Nat's pokerface held steady but her eyes glared accusingly. "He doesn't go out anymore, he barely sleeps. He only eats when we make him. He probably wouldn't even shower if it wasn't for the fact he spends half his time trying to warm up again. What just happened you asked? A panic attack, that's what. He'd gotten so much better after New York and now it's worse than it ever was." Nat paused to regain her composure. "He could have died, and he knows it. And this time, it wasn't because of aliens or demi gods. It was because his team, because you, hurt him and left him to die."
"He didn't need the arc reactor anymore, he had it removed." Steve replied.
"The reactor still powered the suit. He was injured and stuck and you left him there to freeze. That would have killed him if Vision hadn't brought him back." Nat fought back the urge to end the call then. "Not sure if you remember, but Tony's no super soldier. Did you know you broke three of his ribs?"
"But," Steve started to talk before Nat cut him off again.
"No, no buts, you don't get to defend yourself, not when Tony's suffering like this. Don't call again." And with that the call ended.
"Well, that went well." Sam kept his back to Steve for a moment longer. When he turned around, Steve was staring out the cockpit of the quinjet. "Steve?"
"I didn't realise it was that bad." His voice was low and choked, "I thought, I don't know, but… I wasn't meant to be like this Sam. You didn't see the fight. Tony just attacked Bucky, he was trying to kill him."
Sam wasn't too sure about what had happened in Siberia. Steve and Bucky had emerged battered and bruised and Sam had assumed it had been the other Winter Soldiers, but if he interpreted Steve's words correctly, it hadn't been Soldiers, but Stark who had caused the damage. "Steve, what happened, in Siberia? Stark said there were more Winter Soldiers?"
Steve looked up at Sam with a shaky glance, a tinge of guilt in his eyes. "The Winter Soldiers were already dead when we got there. Stark attacked Bucky and well, I had to disable the suit."
"Its my fault Steve, I sent him to you. I thought he would go as a friend." Sam attempted to offer some comfort. "Steve, you didn't mean to, you were just trying to save Bucky."
"Yeah, I was just trying to save Bucky."
—
"FRIDAY, create new active override, codes Honeybear and Spider. Honeybear code permission granted to Rhodey, Spider code permission granted to Peter and Nat." Tony grimaced, he needed to keep himself alive for a little longer, he still had things to do, people he owed.
"Understood, priority status and parameters Boss?"
"Priority 1, only creator override is to be a higher priority." He needed to keep his failsafe there and a way to cancel these codes when he didn't need them anymore. "Override is only to be valid when both codes are provided. Relay this information to them for me. Thanks baby girl."
As it so happened Rhodey and Natasha were all in the lounge of the facility when FRIDAY informed them of their new override.
"I would stress that you do not abuse this privilege Boss has given you. I may have to obey the override but I can make your lives very difficult in here." The normally lilting tones were noticeably harsher.
"Understood FRIDAY, we won't break Tony's trust." Rhodey supplied for both of them. "We're gonna have to talk to the kid. Tony wants to take him home himself tomorrow."
"I'll go find him." Nat's lips were pursed. At least Tony wasn't giving away all his things again, although she wasn't sure if this was potentially more worrying. Even when he was dying, he went to ridiculous lengths to keep it hidden and here he was, three days home and throwing override codes to them.
Natasha found Peter in his room staring at the ceiling as he spoke with FRIDAY. "What happened to Mr Stark after the airport? I mean giving me a suit is one thing but why is he giving me an override code?"
"I believe Agent Romanov has come to explain that to you."
"Oh, um hi Agent Romanov." Peter sat up very suddenly. Even after staying in the facility the past week, he was still fairly nervous around everyone. Nat supposed that having the only familiar face he knew basically be absent didn't help much. Peter hadn't seen Tony since he'd come back from the hospital.
"Hey kid, I've told you before, call me Nat, we're spider buddies aren't we?" She was trying to be more empathetic, the events of the past few weeks had shown her not only were her team mates lacking but she could be too.
"Nat, right, sorry. Um, so whats happening? Is Mr Stark okay? I heard he got out of hospital a few days ago but I haven't seen him. Is he mad at me? I tried I really did." Peter all but threw the words at Nat.
"Calm down, it's okay, he just needed some time to himself." Nat sat down on the bed with a small exhale. "I don't want to betray Tony's trust in me, but there are a few things you've got to know." Peter seemed to understand that he didn't need to say anything and was listening intently, concern clearly etched on his face. "A lot happened after the airport, most of it not good. I won't go into detail but the result was Tony got stranded in Siberia in his broken suit. He's been through a lot and he has PTSD. Do you know what that is?"
Peter nodded, he went to see a psych after his parents died and after Uncle Ben was killed. Aunt May wanted to make sure he dealt with everything in a healthy way.
"Well Tony's, condition has worsened due to being stranded and he's given us the override codes to help him when he needs it. Tony will be taking you home tomorrow, I don't think he wants to make a big deal out of it since he asked FRIDAY to tell us, so probably don't mention it unless he does."
"Right of course. Will Mr Stark be okay?"
"Yeah, it will just take some time but we'll make sure he's gets there." Nat offered the worried teenager a small smile. He was too young to be dealing with this shit. At first she had been angry at Tony for bringing a kid into it. Then she met him and realised he was probably safer with Tony's tech. He was too stubborn and would have continued his night time adventures with or without Ton's help. None of them had thought the situation at the airport was going to turn into a fight.
With a small squeeze to his shoulder she got up. "Anymore questions kid?
"Um, just one more. Is Mr Stark mad at me? Is that why he's sending me home?"
"No, Pete, he's just worried about you. He doesn't want you caught up in all the Accords bullshit till its sorted out. And your Aunt May is expecting you home soon."
"Oh right, well, thanks Agent Romanov." A raised eyebrow from Nat and Peter blushed and stammered, "I mean, thanks um Nat."