This is an immediate sequel to my previous Windwaker Fanfiction, Pirate's Problem. If you haven't read it, I recommend you go read it now. NOW! Quickly! For the good of the city! Otherwise nothing that follows will make any sense. Admittedly, it won't make any sense anyway, but it will make more sense if you read Pirate's Problem. The choice is yours.

It was an attractive carrier pigeon. It had that to say for itself. In any other context it would be a carrier pigeon to remember. Sadly, it was not in another context, it was in this one. And in this one, it had just knocked Link out. Tetra picked the pigeon up and shook it. "What did you do!"

"Is everything okay?" Mako poked his head in the door. "I heard a thwump sound." The small pirate adjusted his glasses.

"Oh, everything's fine. So long as this bird tells me why it crashed into Link's head."

Mako paused. "Miss Tetra, I don't think it can. It's a bird, you see." The small pirate adopted a lecturing tone. "And birds don't talk."

"I'm sorry!" The pigeon squeaked in Tetra's hand. "I was flying so fast that I must have lost sight of where I was going," It sounded truly contrite.

Tetra glanced down at the unconscious Link. "It's all right." She laughed a little. "He looks good that way."

The pigeon cooed and shook out of her grip, then hopped onto the desk and stretched its wings. "Well, I am sorry." It looked up at Mako. "What's his problem?"

"You can't be talking! Birds don't talk! It's impossible!" Mako took his glasses off and polished them. "Stop it at once!"

"Mako, have you gone insane?" Tetra demanded. "Of course birds talk. Have you been listening to that crazy fish again?" The captain rose to her feet and walked across to Mako. "I think you've been reading far too many novels. Why don't you take a break?" The young woman patted Mako on the shoulder.

Mako slowly collapsed to the ground. "But…but the talking…and the… but the vocal chords…and…" Then he jumped to his feet and ran screaming from the room. "YI YI YI YI!"

"What's his problem?" Link asked, pulling himself up. "And why does my head feel like a pigeon crashed into it?" The young hero rubbed his eyes.

"What do you remember, Link?" Tetra asked him, reaching down to rub his hair.

"I remember… I remember you talking about where you wanted us to go. And then…" He scrunched up his eyes in thought. "Then there was this squawking sound. Like a…like some sort of large bird. And then everything went black."

The pigeon coughed, and took off. "Well, I'm glad everything's okay. I should get going, though." Then it flapped its wings hard and took off through the porthole.

Tetra watched it leave, then settled back against Link's chest. "Set a course for Windfall Island. I think I want to lay in for a summer ensemble." The young woman kissed her boyfriend's cheek. "I'll even let you help me choose the bikinis."

Link opened his mouth to respond, but then he was hit in the head by the pigeon once more. "Sorry, did I hear you call this guy Link?" The pigeon asked, making itself comfortable on Link's face. "Because if I did, I have a message for you all."

Tetra glowered at the pigeon. "And I'll make sure he gets it. After he wakes up."

"So, remind me." Gonzo stared up at the imposing tower of evil darkness. "Why are we here?" The pirate asked Tetra. "I thought we were going to the Island of The Big Red Bumblebees."

"No, that doesn't sound like something we'd be doing." Nudge answered, rolling his eyes. "And there's a very good reason for that."

"What's that?"

"Because you just made that island up." Nudge smacked him. "We're here because a carrier pigeon had a message asking us to come here."

"A pigeon had a message asking us to come to the Tower of Evil Darkness, on the Island of Evil, in the Sea of Evil?"

"Yeah, that's what Tetra said." Nudge replied. "You're good at that 'repeating words' business. Maybe we don't need to buy a parrot."

Gonzo ignored this and persevered. "And you don't see any problem with this at all?"

"No. Why would I? It seems perfectly legitimate to me."

Niko came out to join them. "Tetra sent me to check on…augh!" A massive tentacle reached up and grabbed Niko, then shook him back and forth like a rag-doll.

Gonzo and Nudge watched this for a little while. Then Nudge said, "Yeah, that snuck up on me. Shall I go get the harpoon?"

Gonzo, who had somehow gotten a-hold of a soft drink, took a long speculative sip from it. "What's the hurry?" He watched the tentacle spin Niko around in all possible directions.

"Why isn't anyone helping me?" Niko whimpered as the tentacle performed its finale, in which he was sent flying into the mast. Then a giant octo slowly rose from the sea, its tentacles flailing.

"Ah. Nudge, old chap. Shall we run for our lives?" Gonzo asked politely.

"Oh yes, let's." The two of them took off for the door as quickly as possible.

What followed was an amazing, if short, battle. The pirates, honed by years of experience on the high seas and accompanied by one of the greatest heroes ever born, faced only a single opponent: An octorock the size of a small mountain, with massive tentacles and a lust for blood matched only by its stupidity. Naturally, there was only one way for this battle to end.

Senza floated in the empty ocean on top of a piece of wood that used to be part of Tetra's ship. "Well, that went poorly."

Mako floated by, hugging a barrel for dear life. "I blame Niko." He said, kicking his legs in order to head for the beach up ahead. "I don't know howbut I know this is his fault!"

Tetra was sitting in the King of Red Lions, her eyes closed. "My mother's ship is gone…" She whispered, curling up and putting her arms around her legs.

Link, who had finally given up on trying to make the sail work and was now simply coasting the boat along, reached across and touched her shoulder. "At least we're all alive…" She simply sighed. "I'll buy you a new boat?" She sighed again. "A bigger boat?"

Tetra glanced up at him. "And a pirate hat."

"And a pirate hat."

"Throw in a new outfit and you've got yourself a deal."

"Two new outfits."

Tetra reached up and threw her arms around him. "Mmm. My hero." She kissed Link firmly. "I just can't believe that happened, though!"

"Who would have thought that the Island of Evil, in the Sea of Evil, would have been so…so evil?" Link shook his head. "What is this world coming to?"

Behind them Gonzo, who was hugging the remains of the prow so tightly he couldn't move thought to himself, 'I have no mouth, but I must scream.'