Hello, so I am currently editing the currently published chapters so that my story can suck a bit less. Hopefully I will be able to finishing up the editing quickly, and maybe I can attract more people to this story. I was extremely nervous when I published the first chapter as this was the very first piece of fanfiction I'd ever written before and not just played in my head. The only thing that caused me to want to continue writing this story was the few of you who actually took the time to read this chapter, the first person whom started following this story, Key-Mantrea, and the one guest who left a review. Now that less people have decided to read this story I've decided to just start editing and enjoying this story for myself. At this point I don't really care if not many people read, but I hope you do enjoy the newly edited version.
Jamie Christopher Hewlett and Damon Albarn own Gorillaz. I have no ownership of the band, their songs, and their story whatsoever and only own what I have made up for the story including OCs.
I'm not really sure when it was I, Stevania "Stevie" Pot first created, "Stuart". From what I can recall reading through that chicken scratch in a ratty, old, glitter, bright, pink book that was my diary, I think it might have occurred the day I first got high on my meds that I had to take because of bad headaches I got a lot. Think I was four or five when that happened. Even when I was little I'd been a bit of an addict. If I remember correctly, I think that I wanted to go to the park and I was a little skittish when I was little and I was scared I'd get a bad headache. I didn't bother reading what was on the label, probably because I was too young to bother with the patience for reading and I wouldn't have understood what it said anyways. I didn't feel like having the shite babysitter my parents left me with read it to me either- not that she would have even noticed me taking them either. She was always chin-wagging on the phone all the bloody time, barely saw me almost burn my hand one time, little scrubber. Anyways the headache came and I just started popping pills. Didn't even bother me that I had only a little bit of water since I was used to taking them dry.
So apparently I came across a couple of boys playing on the monkey bars and I was so high I couldn't even say my pet name right, so instead of "Stevie", I ended up saying a really slurred, "Stuart". The boys thought I was daft, which would explain the slurring -even though I'm embarrassed to say I knew since I was little I was slower than the other kids my age- and they thought I was a boy too since I was a tomboy back then and wore a lot of dirty overalls, and scuffed up sneakers, and wrinkled T-shirts, and even before I got the blue hair, back when it was still black, it was really short and messy, and had this one huge side fringe that covered my left eye. Anyways, the kids let me in their group and I was too high to notice that they were calling me "Stu" or "Stuart". All I focused on was how exhilarating it felt playing these "boyish" games while on my meds. It was a hundred times better than when I had to play dolls with the other girls in their dumb stockings, and frilly skirts, and dresses, always worrying if they got dirty because they didn't want their mothers. Somehow while I was in that moment I started thinking, "If this was what being a boy was like, I never want to stop being one." I guess I realized that even after my high ended. I had friends who knew me by a different name, as a different person, and I didn't want to give that up.
I think after that I just started thinking, "What was so great about being a girl anyways?" Always having to behave and not cuss wasn't fun. My family was in a decent situation, we lived in an all right neighborhood, but it was unfair seeing how different my parents' states were. At the hospital I used to see my mother working for around eight hours a day for a few pence while my father worked five, left the other workers to their jobs, and got a whole bundle of shillings. The fact that there already weren't that many jobs for my sex didn't exactly help either when my mom told me of how she wanted to be a doctor but she couldn't get training because she was a women. The fact that I was slow didn't help either, and neither that I was pretty cheeky back then.
It took a lot of begging, but I convinced my parents to put my sex as male when they put me in primary school. I got a lot of really strange looks and I guess they got so worried about what was going on that they couldn't understand that they just decided to send me to some bastard doctor working at the hospital my mother worked in.
"I'm sure it's merely a phase, Rachel," the doctor said. "It's probably just Stevania dealing with the stress of being in a place where she won't be like the other kids and she won't have any friends. I'm sure it will pass in due time. Just give her some time and she'll come to."
Merely a phase, my arse! I hadn't let anyone known since I entered St. Wilfred's. To put it lightly, it wasn't exactly like those pictures of LaGuardia Arts you see when you search through Google, like the type of school you'd think I'd go to.. Every time I walked in I was sure I was colorblind because the hallways were just an endless mass of blacks, greys, and whites. The only time I saw colors was from the uniform and from whatever it was we had to bring to school. It was fine though and I was o.k. with what she got: the food was complete shite, the teachers seemed a bunch a wankers, the boys were too stupid to realize my voice was too high pitched, and the birds were too dull to realize my "pretty boy" looks came from the fact that I wasn't a bloke.
I thought my life was perfect at that point and that there was nothing in this world I liked more that I could have liked more than being "Stuart", or that I couldn't have liked being "Stuart" anymore than I already did. The birds were all nice to me because of how cute I was and how nice I was to them, and the boys thought I was really cool, and my grades were doing much better than I ever thought they would. "Stuart" was one of the most popular boys in school, and I couldn't be any happier with the way things were. The only thing that could have made that point of my life better than it already was, was if I could get off my meds. My headaches had become less frequent back then, and the meds had just started becoming a nuisance because they made me woozy and it was harder to concentrate on things.
If my younger self could go into the future and see all the things that I've seen and done so far , I'd imagine her saying, "Life could certainly be a big biggie." Without a doubt in my mind this is definitely what she'd say if she saw me now
O.K. this is the edited chapter one and those of you reading it, I hope you enjoyed it. If you liked this chapter come back to read the edited chapter 2 and tell me what you think of that chapter as well. Please review for this chapter if you'd like to, and I hope you have a "Feel Good Inc." day. I know, terrible pun. Hasta la pasta~!