Disclaimer: I don't own anything but some of the storyline
Waning: Slash HD /abuse /cutting/ suicide thoughts/ rape
If don't like it don't read it
Chapter 1: All My Fault
Harry sat alone in his room. It had been the hottest summer to date and what made it worse is that for most of it he had been stuck in his room. As soon as the Dursley had picked him up at the station they hadn't said a word but locked him back in the cupboard.
The meals this summer had become even more scares even though Dudley was not longer on his diet. Harry was expected to prepare the meal but he was never aloud to eat any of it. The Dursley hoping to starve him into submission but what they failed to notice was that they didn't need to treat him like this to get him to do stuff. Harry simple didn't care anymore.
'It's all my fault' it was all his fault her had let Cedric be killed he had let Voldemort be reborn hell he even gave him his blood. 'What kind if savior am I' he whispered bitterly. His parent's death had been his fault he had managed to save his own life but they had died. Who else would have to die for him? Who next. Sirius had been sent to azkaban because of him. He had ruined so many lives 'it would have been better if I had not been born at all' He had ruined the Dursleys life. Everyone he knew he was a pain to. The weasley's were poor and he was rich and yet they took him in each summer. Which they couldn't afford to do. Dumbledore was forever getting him out of trouble and he was a buy man he didn't really have time to run around after 15-year-old golden boy.
How many more battles did he have to get himself in to realize that he couldn't beat voldermort? How many more to realize he was putting the ones he loved in danger. Would it be until they were all dead. No he would let that happen.
'It's all my fault' Harry repeated again and again. He did this every night he never slept he couldn't if he slept he would get nightmares and he would wake up screaming and then the Dursley would beat him. The beating had begun this summer. About two weeks after the dursleys had collected him form the station Uncle Vernon had pulled him from the cupboard and told him...
Flashback
Your Aunt Marge is coming you are to be on your best behavior boy ok. No funny business ok. With that he trough him into a wall he was dazed for a moment and when his vision came back Vernon was holding Hedwigs cage with her in it and his trunk
'These I will keep of good measure until the end of the holidays' he snarled
You can't Harry lunged of herwig however he was still small for his age and Vernon held her out of his reach. 'And why not Vernon mocked.
'Because I have to send letters my godfather will be checking up on me.' Harry replied.
'Then you will right to your godfather telling him everything is ok.'
With that Harry was shoved back in to the cupboard the door was lock and the grate was pulled across blocking out the light. Harry sat for a while before breaking down into tears. Hedwigs was one his only true friend. He had failed her too.
End of flashback.
'It's all my fault'
flashback
Aunt Marge had arrived two days late.
'Vernon' she bellowed shoving her bags into Harry knocking him into the wall. 'Where's Dudders?'
'Here Aunt Marge' said Dudley as looked up form the TV for but second. Marge went wadderling over to him and placing sloppy kiss on his head.
When she turned round she saw Harry looking at the floor 'you! Your still here then.
'Yes Aunt Marge'
'look at me when I'm talking to you boy' and she slapped him across the face Harry looked up shocked. This turned out to be a bad move. Marge must have notice the shocked look on his face because she hit him again and then turned to Vernon 'Vernon we must talk about the way you treat the boy clearly he gets way with far too much
Aunt Marge stayed for three weeks in that time. In that time she told Vernon off for not giving Harry enough to do.
'That boy has far too much time of his hands. Give him some wore chores' and so Vernon did Harry had so many chore that he found that he could not finish them the first time that he'd happened Marge had call Vernon and Harry in and she had told him that the only way to get lazy dogs to work was to beat them . she then gave Vernon a lesson on how to beat him by the time it was over Harry couldn't more and he had to drag himself up the stair.
End of flashback
Harry sat in his room the sun was come up and he new he had to make the breakfast. That was always the first chore of the day. Harry hadn't slept at all last night and his body was heavy. His feet dragged as he headed to the kitchen. Turning on the stove he began to cook the Dursleys breakfast.
The smell wafted round that house and the dursleys woke up and by the time they got down stairs the meal was steaming on the table. Harry had retreated to the cupboard a few moments before the Dursleys didn't like to see him at meal times. And that suited him fine. He was extremely hungry but he didn't want to be in that same room as them. Harry had tried to eat some food while he was cooking but he found out painfully later that all the food had been counted and weighed. And he had got beaten for that.
So Harry sat in the cupboard under the stairs and listened to Dursleys eat nosily.
'Boy' he heard Vernon call broken from his thought he rushed into the kitchen. 'we've finished you can clear away.
'Yes uncle' said Harry as her became to clear away
'boy hears you list of chores.' Harry took the sheet and looking it over.
Cook the meals
Wash the dishes
Mow the lawn
Proon the bushes
Dust the house and so on...
'Uncle?' Harry asked nervously 'I thing I should write to Sirius it has been a week now'
'Silence! I will decide when write to people like YOU. You insolent ungrateful boy' and he punched him Harry fell back into the counter with his nose spurting blood.
Vernon stormed out of the room 'and finish cleaning up.' She yelled making Harry flinch.
The day went uneventful after that his nose was sore and tender and kept bleeding every now and then but Harry continued to work all the same. Harry had nowhere near finished his chore and dusk was coming on fast. Harry knew he would get a beating and this brought tears to his eyes.
The sunset and Vernon came up to him you haven't finish have you. Harry gulped and shook his head.
'You lazy boy' his uncle yelled and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and shoved him in to Dudley's second bedroom. He was thrown against a wall. And Vernon's face was very close to his. 'You make a noise and that ruddy birds dead. Understand' before Harry could nod Vernon's beefy fist made contact with is face brushing his eye second later it made contacted with his sore nose and it took all Harry's strength not to cry out. Vernon let him go and began punching him in the ribs and balls Harry crumpled to the floor and Vernon took to kicking him each kick sent shivers of pain down his body Harry was rapidly losing sensuousness. The pain was over whelming but it was not the first time. Vernon stopped panting and walked out. Harry hard the front door slam and her new Vernon had gone out getting to his feet he stumbled to the cupboards and slipped in to unconsciousness.
The front door slams and Harry was brought back to the waking. There was feet pounding up the stairs and Harry could tell that Vernon was drunk her heard a door slam up stairs and feet coming back down 'please let him go past' Harry though. Please' However God wasn't listening today and the footsteps stopped outside the door. The latch was pulled across in slow motion Harry stared to tremble. The door was reached open and there stood Harry's beefy Uncle.
'Boy' was all he said and dragged Harry out by his hair.
Harry let out a wince as he was dragged slumbering up the stairs and thrown in to Dudley's for the second time that day. Harry was beaten mercilessly all that he waned to do was to slip into unconsciousness again but every punch kick and scratch was like a thousand knives stabbing him leaving behind a thousand scars of humiliation. When Vernon stopped he leaned n close and whispered in Harry's ear.
'Now lets have some fun' that was when Harry realize that this was no longer a punishment but for Vernon's own enjoyment. 'but I deserve it' Harry thought 'Cedric, my parents, I deserve it.'
Vernon leaned down and grabbed Harry's shirt and slammed is back into the wall. Then began to rip of his shirt and run his fingers of his bare and very thin chest. His figures met the line of his trousers and he began to undo the button and pull down the zip. All the while the was an evil glint in his eyes and sly grin on his face. 'Oh no. Oh God no!' he thought while the other half told him he deserved it. He tried to push away but was too weak from the beating.
Vernon's hand slid down under his pants and began to stroke him
'Please … Uncle … please' he began barely above a whisper
'Shhhh ' Vernon said like is was hushing a baby to sleep.
Harry screwed up his face and tried hide from what was happening.. The caressing became more vigorous and two tears leaked out of his eyes.
A while later the orgasm reached completeness and Harry felt his trousers be come damp. Vernon let go of him panting and Harry dropped to the floor his face was damp form the tears . Harry mouthed a silent pray to no one
Now I lay me down to sleep
I give the Lord my soul to keep
And If I die before I wake
I pray the lord my soul to take
And then slipped into alight sleep still shaking.