The Sad End of King Bowser Koopa

So one day, King Bowser Koopa, for once in his life, decided to get up from his throne, prompting his door guards to gasp in disbelief. It was very unlike Bowser to stand up, if at all, save for a few exceptions. He only ever got up when he participated in the annual Mario Bros. battle, Mario Party slaughter or when he took a shower. In Mario Kart, he was always teleported into his kart sitting down. Even in sleep, he was teleported to his throne when his time of rulership was needed. Fortunately for most life in the Koopa Kingdom, this was seldom required.

"I'm going to walk outside." He said. "I'm going to smell the fresh air and have a chat with those smiling flowers over there. Oh look! They're smiling at me! I can't wait to chat with them about coffee! Weeeee! In the meantime, could both of you be so kind as to wake my children up for a cup of coffee?"

By the time he got to the smiling flowers however, the guards had fainted.

Bowser shrugged. "I suppose a little bit of happiness overwhelmed them. Hey, that reminds me! I need to go visit Peach later on and tell her how much I love pink. I mean coffee. You know, I never told anyone, but the secret teddy bear I sleep with at night has pink fur."

The guards threw up. Bowser then seemed to twitch for a second, then narrowed his eyes. "I SAID WAKE THEM UP! Otherwise, the line to the Lava Pits will be long today!"

Critters scattered here and there. "Get me one of those "thermos" things while you're at it. If it gets cold, it's going on your face!"

"Who's?" asked a random guard.

"Yours."

"Oh."

Satisfied, Bowser walked out the door. Perhaps this stuff could finally bring Peach to him, considering –

Bowser twitched again.

"Hi sun! Your rays can turn over any rock! Let me get some of that joy and happiness!"

The sun raised an eyebrow at him.

"So warm and fuzzy…" drooled Bowser. He opened up the thermos and drank the entire contents in only a few seconds before he sped off towards the Mushroom Kingdom with dust behind him.

Kamek, Bowser's most trusted advisor, watched the whole scene from one of the towers of Bowser Castle. He watched with great concern. He adjusted his glasses when Bowser thought the sun's rays were warm and fuzzy and concluded that he should investigate that later. But for now, for once porn wasn't on his mind, but rather how Bowser was acting so happy and frolicking. He needed to investigate this further.