Or that Sonic Drive-in commercial with Ellie and Jane…with an added #KimmyJacq twist!

It's short and sweet. The usual disclaimers…

It was a warm summer night in Rapid City. It was the last night in South Dakota before Jacqueline White and her…she doesn't know what to call Kimmy Schmidt. They too close to be best friends. And though there were few…episodes…she didn't want to call herself and Kimmy lovers, even though Jackie had strong feelings for the eternally innocent and socially awkward redheaded ex-cult captive. And she wasn't the only one who noticed. Kimmy's landlady, gay best friend (and Jackie's show business client) and therapist all told Kimmy to take the leap. Even Jackie's stepdaughter and Kimmy's arch-nemesis Xanthippe Lannister Voorhies pretty much put up her trademark faux-coolness for the cause, telling the former bunker woman that if she ever got up the courage to make official what was prima facia to every man, woman, and poodle in Manhattan, Xan would not only admit to the world that she was an avid…ewww…birdwatcher, but on the day of the nuptials that she would change her name to Xanthippe Lannister Voorhies-White-Schmidt, ending any coolness Xan ever had in her.

So, Jacqueline and Kimmy drove into the Sonic that was closest to Jackie's parent's home (Kimmy has something that makes everyone fall in love with her…Jackie sometimes is frightened by the power the redhead could have if the redhead ever developed even a microscopic amount of guile). It was a compromise anyway: Kimmy loved those Sonic commercials with the two guys in a convertible, but there wasn't a Sonic in Manhattan, and for Jackie, there wasn't even one Neiman-Marcus. So…Sonic now, N-M later.

Both women were in a rather happy mood, though the redhead was looking slightly nervous. Jacqueline tried to assure her that even though Anthony Bourdain actually cooked a 7-course for herself, Kimmy, and her friends for a 4th of July picnic in Central Park (the meal was delicious, and both Kimmy and Jackie were devastated when they heard what happened to him a few months later), she would enjoy this (Jackie took the brownie points for not saying the word "slumming.").

Besides, it had been years since Jackie did a Sonic run. After almost 15 years in Manhattan noshing at some of the world's finest eateries, she had almost forgotten the simple pleasures of a SuperSonic cheeseburger and tots. For this she had to thank Kimmy Schmidt, who probably would have held on to that simple Hoosier innocence even if she hadn't fallen in that cult and lived in that bunker. But then it would not had lead to the Bunker Woman showing up at Jackie's door, Jackie firing Kimmy, Jackie giving Kimmy that second chance, which led he Jackie confiding in Kimmy about her husband's cheating, leading to Jackie asking Kimmy to spoon her for comfort. And that led to Jacqueline White-Voorhies to realize that Kimberly Schmidt cradling her in her arms is what she needed to feel for the rest of her life. Of course, she wanted Kimmy to feel the same way…but she never pushed to asked The Question. Not that it mattered, for Kimmy was always there for her, and she for Kimmy. That's why she wanted Kimmy to experience modern Lakota life. Jackie was still connected to it even though she still lived a Caucasian lifestyle. It was a life that helped Jackie get her parents out of Pine Ridge, one of the most destitute reservations in the Lakota nation into a very nice home in Rapid City. She had also donated money to help Pine Ridge build a new school and used enough to at least get a casino started there.

And a lot of that came from the loving nagging of the Mole Woman now lodged comfortably in Jackie's heart.

The least Jackie could do was buy the girl a burger. And fries. And a shake.

A Cookie Jar shake. Caramel, cookies, whipped cream and a cherry on top. Leave it to the TV commercial savant to do something with that. In full announcer mode, Kimmy held up her cup like Lady Liberty holding her torch: "Ahh, the perfect marriage of cookies and real ice cream…!"

Kimmy was always ultra-adorable like that.

"Oh, that's a wedding I'd kill to go to!" Jackie countered. A beaming Kimmy got her signal. While Jackie pretended to hold a microphone and do an over-acted valedictorian speech, Kimmy reached under the seat and pulled out a small pink paper bag.

"You know, I have a better wedding you can go to…."

"Kimmy…?

Kimmy Schmidt then pulled a small box out of the bag. "Ours…" Kimmy then opened the box. It was a solid gold band with one diamond in the middle. Inside of the ring, the words "I love you forever" where are engraved in Lakotan.

Jackie looked up from The Ring with water spilling from her eyes and her lower jaw trembling like a California earthquake.

A very nervous Kimmy Schmidt look in Jacqueline's eyes and simply asked, "So…"

"I need…to…put…the…skake..down…" Jackie's hands were shaking as she put the shake into the cup holder. And then she gave Kimmy the biggest, wettest, deepest kiss any human being could give to another human being. A kiss that can be returned with equal fervor. It was more than a minute before the two women separated. "I assume that was a…'yes...?" Jacqueline answer Kimmy by simply nodding yes vigorously like a six-year-old. Then they kissed again. And again. And again…

They never finished their shakes, and they pretty much forgot about the hamburgers. Jackie drove herself and her new fiancé back to her parents' house to tell them the good news. Of course, she got the surprise that Kimmy had called Jackie's mom to ask for the exact translation of those words inside the ring. After that, they went to the Starlight, because Jackie really didn't feel comfortable expressing her gratitude find love to Kimmy at her parents' house. And who would blame?

And the next day, The pair started back on that long, incredibly ecstatic drive back to New York City. They did stop for those Cookie Jar shakes…unfinished business and all. Of course for both women, it was hard to keep their eyes on the road while driving, both being a distraction to the other. And as they made their journey back home, Jacqueline White-Voorhies-soon-to-Schmidt made a note to herself to buy caramel ice cream, some Oreos, whipped cream, and a few cherries, as she and Kimmy thought they might come in handy…

FINIS