Hello everyone! Welcome to my new story! This is the first time I've ever tried a multi-chapter fic with Mulder and Scully that followed a continuing narrative. I hope it goes good. I've been thinking about this idea for a while, but I wanted to delve into it a little deeper than I thought I could with my last series. Hope you enjoy!
Over the years, he'd seen Scully exhibit a vast array of different emotions; pissed, sad, sleepy, frustrated, but embarrassment was rare. Yet here she was, in the middle of interviewing a couple, flustered beyond belief. The case they had been working on had ended up being a fruitless effort, simply just crop circles in the boonies of Virginia made by teenagers with too much time on their hands in a town too prone to paranoia. The only thing they needed to finish up this case was a final statement from the duo in charge, but it was turning out to be a little more information than he or Scully had anticipated.
"I'm sorry, I think I misheard. What did you say? Scully asked, voice laced in confusion. She had just asked them what their relationship was, and Mulder was hoping he hadn't heard them correctly.
The eighteen year old boy didn't even look phased as he shrugged, "Oh, we're friends with benefits."
Yep, he heard correctly. That was a term he hadn't heard in over a decade, mostly just from old acquaintances in college. A few of them would gloat to him about finally hitting a homerun with various girls in their friend group. From what he'd been told, it sounded like an interesting idea, but he never heard from any of them how any of it turned out. Scully, on the other hand, was still a little naive. "What are the benefits?" she asked innocently.
The couple turned to each other and sly grins broke out onto both their faces. They looked back at her and unanimously answered, "Sex."
He had to applaud Scully, her mask of professionalism was tough to crack and she was able to keep the shock from appearing on her face, though plenty of it was dancing in her eyes. "Excuse me?"
The girl leaned forward with a playful smirk, "It's really common. If you have a friend you enjoy hanging out with, and you both want to get a little release, you can just have sex with each other. Simple as that."
Her answer still didn't satisfy Scully. "Isn't that exactly what being in a relationship is?"
"No, not at all. I mean, aspects are shared, but ultimately we still have our independence. We don't have to report back to each other like couples do, no expectations, and it's safe being with someone you care about without all the jealousy and drama," the guy explained.
"Haven't you ever had a friend you just wished you could fuck, but you didn't know if a relationship would be good for you two?" the girl added, her tone implying that the answer should be 'of course'.
Mulder had been watching Scully during the couple's explanations, and he couldn't help but notice the red hue her face was taking. He knew Scully wasn't a prude, but, this far in their relationship, they had never actually talked about sex unless it was a clinical analysis or a jovial innuendo. He'd spent plenty of time trying to imagine what her experiences and fantasies were; how she liked it, what she looked like, what she got off to, how often she got off. However, no amount of hypothesizing would give him any conclusive answers. Watching the interest manifest on her face was the closest she had ever come to revealing anything to him.
As soon as the question left the girl's mouth, Scully's eyes flitted to look at him, but quickly averted away when they met his gaze, much to Mulder's intrigue. Her blush had started to spread to her neck and she brushed a few hairs behind her ear to make it look like she was unbothered. "No. I haven't. Thank you for your explanation. Now where were you on the night of-" She put a hard stop to the conversation and continued to move the interview along.
He didn't want to be hopeful she'd thought of him when the girl asked that question, but they'd been getting closer recently and lord knows she was the first person to pop into his mind when the conversation was even brought up. After six years of being in close quarters, going through highs and lows together, it was inevitable they'd become close. However, more recently there seemed to be an air of sexual tension. He couldn't lie, ever since she walked into the office all those years ago, he's had a thing for her, a small attraction that's blossomed into something entirely larger and scares the hell out of him.
Flirting is too strong of a word, and too bold of an action for him to follow through with, but he feels that he's definitely made it clear that he's attracted to her. Or, at least, he thinks he has. He's always thrown little innuendos her way, she's caught his glance lingering, he'd find any excuse to me close to her, she's the only one he trusts, she had to know. What makes him really think she's picked up on it is the fact she'd been retaliating more within the past few months. Gone was the days of eye rolls and amused scoffs, now he is met with sultry grins and the tantalizing cock of an eyebrow.
He figured she'd never want anything because it's against FBI protocol and she doesn't want them to be split up, or maybe she's hesitant for the same reasons he is. She's the most important relationship he's ever had, undoubtedly and without question. While he loves her more than anything in the world, she deserves the best, and he doesn't think the 'best' entails a man obsessed with his work who is too scared to ruin the one thing that's meant anything to him to even own up to his feelings. She could do so much better than him, but it's moments like that, where her gaze flits to him after the mention of something illicit that makes him question everything. Maybe she-
"Thank you, that's all we needed," Scully's voice sighs, breaking him out of his reviere. He looks around and notices Scully's finished the interview in record time while he's been having his internal monologue.
"Sure, sorry for the trouble," the girl apologized. They pushed in their chairs, stopping to turn around when they reached the door. "Hey," she called out to get Scully's attention.
Scully looked up with a questioning expression, waiting for the girl to speak. "Don't knock it till you try it," she quipped, smiling as her friend led her out of the door with his hand on the small of her back.
Mulder tried to gauge her reaction, but Scully was still trying to appear unfazed. Though he didn't miss the way her eyes shot to her paper before glancing at his knee and back again. He decided not to mention anything about it now, so he just helped her gather all their files and head out to the car to make the hour long trip back home. It wasn't until they started driving after stopping at a gas station, catching her glancing at him several more times, that he decided to broach the elephant in the room. "They made a pretty convincing argument," he started, tearing through the blanket of silence in the car.
"What? That it's only natural to damage an entire field if you're bored enough?" she scoffed. He didn't know if she purposefully misinterpreted his statement as a signal not to push it, or if she really thought he was talking about the crop circles.
He offered a light chuckle before diving in, "No, that was probably the worst excuse for destroying public property I've ever heard. I mean their friends with benefits explanation."
Silence never seems as loud as it does when you're putting yourself out on the line. He after a moment of silence, he didn't know whether he should ask if she was okay or if he should declare 'just kidding.' Before he had time to deliberate on his options, she responded, "What points stuck out for you?"
She was playing a power move, getting him to reveal himself without having to reveal anything to close to her heart. It was a defense mechanism, and it made him nervous as hell. "I mean, if you like your friend enough, and you felt safe and comfortable, it seems like it had more pros than cons."It was a safe answer, not too much given away, but enough to be an appropriate response.
"I don't know how someone wouldn't end up getting hurt. You'd have to trust that person a lot, I'd imagine, and what happens if someone does it and the other wants to drop out or they start seeing someone else? That'd have to be painful, and then could you return back to being platonic friends after seeing the other so vulnerable?" she mused.
She name dropped Trust. Trust acted as a palpable entity between them. Brought up to show the severity of their convictions, it was the impenetrable foundation of their relationship, it wasn't a word either of them treated lightly. If the word choice signalled that she was hypothetically talking about them, he could only assume that she was worried she'd find someone better suited later down the line and she was worried he wouldn't be able to let go.
It was something he's pondered, not in depth, but it crossed his mind every now and then. What would be worse? Spending his whole life wishing and wondering what it would be like to be with her, or experiencing it and living with the knowledge something so fantastic slipped out of his grasp, only to become a memory. There was no way to answer it. It was a 'grass is greener on the other side' situation. Right now, being with her, in any way, seemed better than anything in the world, but that could just be he's never experienced the pain of losing her in that way. No matter what, he would never resent her for finding someone that made her happy. Sure he'd be jealous, but he'd never want it to ruin their relationship.
"That's true, but I imagine that since it's a friend one would be close with, the other person would be happy and supportive of the other person. I imagine if they made the leap to have sex, tension had been there for a while, so they'd probably be accustomed to a little bit of yearning. There'd also be a component of respect along with the trust, so I don't think there would be any resentment," he explained.
He glanced over and saw that answer didn't seem to make her happy. "Yeah, sure, I guess you're right," she shrugged. She was agreeing, but she seemed almost melancholy. He thought she was going to add something, but she just turned and looked out the window, fiddling with the skin around her cuticles.
They were about ten minutes away from home when he decided to speak up again, like a dog chasing a bone. He just couldn't shake the image of her looking at him when the topic was brought up. "So, have you really never had a friend you've been curious about?"
"What?" she asked. She'd seemed lost in thought and he didn't know if she hadn't heard him or if she couldn't believe he was asking her more questions about the topic.
"Back there, when that girl was asking you if you'd ever thought about being with a friend, you said no. Is that true? In all your years on this planet, not even once?" He didn't know why he was pressing her like this. He knew, with every fibre of his being, that Scully wasn't going to say, 'Actually yes, you Mulder, all the time. Pull over now so I can show you,' so he didn't know what was fueling his incessant questioning.
"I-" she stuttered, looking like answering this question was akin to pulling teeth. "Have you?" she threw it back.
He could feel her eyes on him and turned to smirk at her before turning his attention back to the road. "Scully, in case you forgot, I am a warm blooded male. Of course I have." He was happy to hear that his answer amused her, a small chuckle escaping from her grinning lips as she shook her head playfully.
"What about you?" he prodded.
"Mulder," she mimicked, "In case you forgot, I am a warm blooded female. Of course I have."
He grinned at her parroting of him before he really pushed his luck. "Oh, I promise you I never forgot."
That familiar air of tension returned to the car, and he would have been mad at himself for saying it if it wasn't for the smile she was trying, and failing to hide. He thought that's how they would leave the topic, but Scully surprised him with asking a question of her own. "Well, you seemed to be informed about the topic. Does that mean you've had a friend with benefits? Or friends?"
He shook his head good naturedly, "No, no, just some guys I knew in college did and that's where I heard about it. I've never done it myself. It seems nerve wracking, I don't think I could ever be the one to ask." He decided to take the opportunity to throw the ball into her court. If it happens, it's up to her. He glanced back over at her and noticed she was chewing on her bottom lip, her nervous habit. "What about you? I know the term was knew to you, but have you ever done it?"
She immediately started shaking her head, as if amused by the thought alone. "No, no, no. I-I couldn't imagine someone actually wanting to." Her laugh was full of self deprecation and she waved her hand back and forth as if trying to swat away the ludacris idea that someone would want to have casual sex with her. Mulder's jaw practically dropped to the fucking floor.
He pulled onto her street as he gawked at her. "Scully, are you seriously telling me you don't realize over half the male population, hell, even a community of the female population, would faint on the spot to be propositioned like that from you?"
He pulled up in front of her apartment and put the car in park without turning it off. She rolled her eyes and chuckled, "I doubt that Mulder, but thank you."
She grabbed her bag and the files before getting out of the car and shutting the door. When she was around the other side, walking up to her building, he called out, "Hey, Scully." She turned around and looked at him and he was glad she was far enough away not to be able to see the way his hands were shaking. "Trust me, I know better than anyone."
He didn't need a response, he just wanted to really let her know how he felt, knowing full well when he returned to the office tomorrow, they'd pretend like it never happened. Just like they did with the kiss in the hallway all those months ago. He drove away, but not before he saw her face change into subtle surprise as his meaning dawned on her.
When he got back to his apartment, he was beyond ready to throw himself on the couch and just relax. Between resolving a waste-of-time case and the emotional rollercoaster he had with Scully, he was drained. He changed into a T-shirt and sweatpants and turned on a rerun on the Sci Fi channel. In all honesty, he was glad he overshared with Scully together. Even though it put him in a vulnerable, unreciprocated spot, he at least got to experience how much their relationship had progressed over time. If he had mentioned anything like that to Scully in the first couple of years of their partnership, he had no doubt she would have probably irritated and dismissed him immediately, possibly even reminding him about the rules against partnership fraternization and sexual harassment. Today they had a conversation about it and she even looked flattered, even a bit curious.
No matter what, at the end of the day, he was just happy he got to spend time with her and that she was still his partner. As long as she was safe and happy, that's all he really needed. He couldn't help but be a little curious about what she wanted though. He imagined she'd considered marriage, but she didn't really seem like the type to daydream about weddings or anything like that. When it came to Scully's romantic goals or dreams, he still knew nothing. He considered for a moment that when she brought up the possibility of one of the friends getting hurt, that she may have been talking about herself, that she was worried he'd find someone and leave her alone, but he shook the idea away as soon as it had come. Maybe she'd been hurt in the past and she was worried, but there's no way she could truly think he could have eyes for anyone other than her. It just seemed unimaginable.
A knock at the door pulled him away from his thoughts. He glanced at the clock and saw it was nearing eleven. He pulled himself up and wandered to his door, peering through the peephole and opening the door when he saw a tuft of red hair. Sure enough, when he opened the door he was met with Scully, glancing around nervously, her bottom lip looking a bit swollen from, what he assumed was from, her playing with it. "Hey, what's-" he was cut off by her own question.
"Were you serious earlier?" she asked.
He had an inkling of what she meant, but he didn't want to answer and be wrong. He opened the door wider and beckoned for her to come in. "About what?"
She took a few steps in, having a hard time looking at him, and he wanted to know why she was so nervous. "That you find me attractive?"
He was glad to know she was able to pick up on his subliminal message, but she was making him anxious. Had he pushed her too far? Was she upset he wasn't hiding it as much anymore. She was standing in front of him, waiting for a response, and, even if she was going to tell him to knock it off, right now he couldn't backtrack and say he didn't. He couldn't lie. "Yes, I was being serious-" He was about to apologize, btu she cut him off. He was only now starting to formulate thoughts and answers in a conversation she had been anticipating, most likely, since he left her at her apartment.
"I would like to try. That is, if you'd like to as well," she rushed, only now really looking at him. What he was behind her eyes was intense determination masking fear. He'd been distracted by her gaze that he was a little slow on interpreting her words, when he did he felt like he was going to pass out. Clearly he'd heard her wrong.
"Try what?" he murmured in almost a whisper, not wanting the sound of his voice to interrupt the dream he must have been in the middle of.
It wasn't a dream. If it was, he knew the shock from her next sentence would have jolted him awake. "I want to try being friends with benefits."
Woo! I'm excited to see where this leads. I hope you guys like it! I love hearing how people felt, so all feedback is beyond welcome! Thanks for clicking on my story, and have a lovely day! -Nicole (Twitter/Tumblr: gaycrouton)