You're Not Worth It.
He pulled out his badge and showed it to her.
"I'm NCIS, you're under arrest." He said as she looked at him in horror.
"You lied to me?" She was shocked, she had actually thought they had a future, but she had been played, he hadn't believed in her or her cause after all.
"Donna..." Callen started to say hoping she wouldn't look at him like he was a piece of scum on her shoe, although he understood why she had.
"You're not worth it!" She snapped and turned and walked away from him, dropping her gun and assuming the position as Kensi and Deeks moved into arrest her.
Callen stood there frozen to the spot for a second.
For a moment, a very fleeting moment, a look of hurt passed over his face then he hid it with a smirk and turned to his partner. "Don't you wish they were all that easy?" he asked moving past him and walking towards the sleek black challenger parked a few yards away.
"You're just pleased you don't have to run." Sam quipped as he turned to follow.
Callen shot a look at the suspect as she was lead to Kensi's car.
"You ok?" Sam asked at the look of pain he could see in those cerulean eyes of his partner.
"Yeah." Callen replied almost to himself.
The take down had been easier than they had anticipated, Callen had gone in with the white supremacist group and 'found' himself a girl, Donna. The leader of the group. A firm believer in what she stood for and no one was going to make her change her mind. She had fallen for those eyes of Callen's and under the guise of a willing boyfriend she had told him all her group's plans. Including that of bombing the US Naval Ports to stop them from fighting in the middle east and making it so that refugees were flooding the world.
Callen had fawned over Donna's plans, listened, got close...maybe a little too close as Donna had been beautiful, but he didn't need to tell them that. He hated what she had stood for, but damn, she had been hot.
"G?" Sam said for the third time pulling his partner out of his reverie.
"Sorry?" Callen shook his head.
"I said did you want to question her?" Sam asked.
Callen shook his head, "Donna won't talk to me, besides I wanna get a jump on this paperwork, I have things to do later."
Sam grinned at his partner as he started the car. "Joelle?" he asked hopefully.
Callen shook his head, "No...that ship has sailed, we broke up in the new year. She didn't tell Michelle?" He asked.
Sam shook his head, "No, Kamran mentioned that she had a new teacher this fall, I assumed that Joelle had just transferred schools. Conflict of interest or something."
Callen turned and looked out of the window, "She took a teaching job in Canada."
He wanted to say more, to tell Sam about the huge fight they had had before she left. Her screaming at him to choose between being a federal agent or making a family with her.
He had chosen his job, then left for Russia with the team and Arkady.
"Sorry man." Sam sighed as he turned into the parking lot outside the mission.
G shrugged his shoulders climbed out of the car and walked into the bullpen turning on the monitor to the boatshed as he did so.
He watched as soundlessly Donna's mouth moved as Deeks asked her something and he reached for the remote.
"You think I was fooled by him for an instant, he was just something to pass the time, an easy lay, he wasn't worth anything. You think i'm going to…." the sound cut off as G hit the mute button and went to do his paperwork Donna's off the cuff remark stinging harder than it should have.
After an hour of writing and ignoring Sam, Callen stood and headed to the gym. Wrapping his hands in tape he started hitting the heavy bag Donna's words rolling around in his head.
"...Not worth it… Not worth it…" How many times in his life had he heard those words?
Why after all these years did that sentence have the ability to suckerpunch him.
He was a Federal Agent.
He loved his job and his team...his family.
He worked for the greater good….
He…. He was not worth it.
Not worth anyone's love.
Not worth anyone's time.
Not worth more than anyone else.
Not worth it.
Punch after painful punch he hit than bag. Donna's voice morphing into the voices of various foster parents and social workers from years gone by.
Not. [Punch]
Worth. [Punch]
It. …
His hand was about to hit the bag again but his arm was stopped by a smaller hand.
"She's wrong you know." Hetty said calmly forcing him to stop.
Callen grabbed a bottle of water and a towel, under the guise of wiping his face wiped away a few traitorous tears.
"Who's wrong?" He asked and took a drink from the bottle.
"Ms Lennon. When she told Mr. Deeks than you were not worth it, she was just projecting her own frustrations at being caught. You were doing what was right, you were protecting the greater good, the public at large. You are worth a great deal to a great many people." Hetty moved to a bench and sat down, patting the empty space beside her for Callen to sit down.
"You have heard that sentence a great many times in your life have you not Mr. Callen?" Hetty asked.
"Maybe." He replied non-committally.
"You do realize that they were all wrong. You are worth it."
"I know this Hetty….45 year old me knows this…" G looked away, he didn't want to tell her this but he swallowed his pride.
"45 year-old me does know this Hetty, do you know why?" G asked with a slight smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth as he looked down at her. "Because a very small, very wise woman, once stood up to a police officer holding a very scared and broken fifteen year old and told them for the very first time in his life than he was worth it, I think the phrase you used was than you were expecting big things from me."
Hetty smiled at the memory.
Callen returned the smile, "We may fight. We may argue, heck you may even Taser me again." he patted her arm reassuringly to let her know than he had gotten over those events a month ago when she had done than. "But to you I am worth it and I will work hard to never break your trust in me."
Hetty stood up wiping her own stray tear.
"I appreciate than Mr. Callen." she said as she turned to go. "But don't think this means than you are getting out of doing your expense reports." she smiled and walked towards the door of the gym.
"Thank you." Callen said quietly as she left, in the corridor she wiped another tear, happy to have helped her boy through another trying time and still kept them together as a family.
"And I love you too." she whispered and continued back to her office knowing than in five minutes when he had totally calmed down he would be back, smiling and 'hopefully' doing his expense reports.