Titles - Watching Him in His Sleep
Rating - R for Slash
Pairing - Remus and Sirius
Disclaimer - I do not own these characters or any of it. They belong to this person -- I don't know if you know her but her name is JK Rowling. She is a very nice lady. She would probably sue me if she knew what I was doing behind her back.
I used to watch him in his sleep.
But now that is taken away from me. I remember waking up next to him as the sun creeps up over the horizon. We were sixth year lovers, and it was our secret. But now since he's taken away from me, it wouldn't be a secret without two close people sharing it. But now all I have left of him is his scent and some traces of hair. I can't hold his cheek again because he's
Gone.
I will never wake up next to him again, wiggling my toes and feeling his embrace. He always liked it when I kept my socks on. At least even when I thought he was a convicted murderer I knew that he was still there. I would call out his name in my sleep and he probably did that with mine too. Now all I have left of him is his rusty scent and some traces of hair. Fate can be so
cruel
Sometimes. I cry for him at nights now. I have dreams of when we were still in school and how we would sneak off to embrace each other. How he would kiss me with those tender lips. I remember one night where he pushed me in the lake, how terribly cold it was, but then it was like he warmed me to my toes when his kissed me. His lips would be so
Sweet.
But now its all taken away from me. Bella took that away from me. I want him back. I want to feel him. I want him to stroke a hand through my hair. I want him. I don't care if its just his body. I don't care if I touch him and he doesn't touch me back. I don't care. I just want to see him, taste him, and
feel
Him. Is that too much to ask? There won't be a burial for him. There won't be a casket for his body. There won't be anything except memories. Because he's not dead. He's simply gone. Whisked away from me. Even if I reach out for him, I know he's gone. If he were just dead, I wouldn't be just remembering his scent. I would be holding him, embracing him, talking to him as if he could
hear
Me. I would remembering times and smile upon them. But since he's gone and there isn't even a body, I morn for him. Bella took him away from me. I will seek vengeance. But for now, I sit besides my bed, the scent of him filling my nostrils as I watch the sun creep up the horizon. If Bella hadn't taken him away from me, I would wake up this moment, next to him, with my socks on. As I hold a piece of his hair, I feel him
whispering
In my ear. Perhaps it's just the wind. No matter to me. He probably wants me to move on. I shake my head, if I look at traces of hair on our bed, how can I let him go? As I touch my own cheek, hoping it would be his instead of mine, I watch as the sun fully rises. I see a silver
Dagger
Near me glinting in the sunlight. The wind picks up force and whisks the traces of his hair out of the window, leaving me with only his scent to remember him by. "Why did you have to go?" I whisper, breaking the silence that spread across the room. I regret that night before he was gone. I remember waking up next to him, caressing him. I never has a chance to give him a bittersweet
Kiss
Goodbye. His kisses were like poison. Though very sweet, they were very addictive. And yet I forgot to give him a kiss before he was gone. I wish his kisses were for eternity. I still have my socks on. As I raise the dagger up in the air, I
Whisper
A goodbye to the world. The pain surges through me and I feel something red trickling down my mouth. I fall down on the hard floor, Sirius' favorite socks still on. Maybe this way I can finally watch him sleep again.