If You're Gone
Note: This story is actually the first of four "Axel-centric" stories that focus in on his experiences from the time Roxas leaves to after Roxas has disappeared back into Sora. They will all be short, single chapter stories, and they are meant to go along well with the pair of "Roxas-centric" stories ("Miss Me" and "Miss You"). I'm not sure how long it'll take to get all four up, but they will be done.
Disclaimer: The characters of Kingdom Hearts are not mine, just the situations I put them in. Please don't sue.
Description: "Losing Roxas was a thousand times worse than losing my Heart." AxelRoxas drabble
When Roxas left, it was like dying. It was like losing my Heart all over again… Or, at least, what I imagined that would have been like if I could remember it. It was like freezing to death in the cold void he left in his wake. When he walked away from me, all I felt was like the rush of wind that comes with the displacement of air… Except it wasn't air or wind, but Roxas and all my hopes, dreams, life, and light.
I could try to lie to myself, but there was no denying that losing Roxas was a thousand times worse than losing my Heart. I wondered if that was because Roxas had become my Heart, and it was so much harder to let go of something you had lost once already, and maybe it hurt so badly because I was physically attached to him as well as emotionally. Without a Heart, one cannot feel. I didn't have one until along came Roxas, and all of a sudden I could feel again.
The only way I could tell that he was still alive was by the pain of being away from him.
For days after he left, I threw myself uselessly into missions I just didn't care about. I didn't need another Heart: I'd had, and lost, it. Xemnas would talk endlessly about all of us becoming whole again, but I'd stare into space and ignore his useless words. They meant nothing. Lies. I knew that you didn't need anything more than the right person to have your own heart and be complete.
I began having thoughts of abandoning the Organization like Roxas had.
Saix went out of his way to corner me every single day, asking what I knew about Roxas and where he'd gone. Every day, his menacing glares and bullying attitude. My patience is naturally thin, and it had been stretching further and further since Roxas left me, but I managed to hold onto that and tell him every day.
"No. I don't know where Roxas is."
It didn't matter that my voice was dead and hopeless, betraying everything about my lost Heart. It didn't matter that Saix knew I wasn't lying. It didn't matter that everyone knew I was even more hollow than they were since I lost my other half; my Heart; my friend. Saix asked every single day only for the sick satisfaction that I had lost everything and there was no way for me to fall any further.
And, yet, I kept falling.
End