Unspoken Goodbyes (A Christopher Thomas Short Story)
I do not own any of the Harry Potter related characters.
All his life, Christopher Thomas had been a happy Londoner. He had come from a very noble family, was a bright student and had a wonderful future ahead of him.
But all that had changed. Right now, Christopher Thomas lay in an armchair, staring off into the fire burning in the hearth, wondering if he even had a future anymore.
Three years ago Christopher had witnessed the best day of his life; he had gotten married to the woman of his dreams. Three months ago, his life had changed for the better as well; his son Dean Thomas was born. But all these happy occasions were badly timed.
He had gotten married and had a son in a time of war, though his Muggle wife never knew. This war was of the hidden kind. The war was done in the dark, actions made in shadows. The only noise was not of gunfires, but with the flashes of light and all life would disappear.
Christopher, who left the magical world to escape, could now no longer get away. Although his traces in magical communities had vanished, he was not forgotten. For good or bad, he had been hunted down. Thankfully for his welfare and that of his family, Professor Dumbledore had found him first.
Christopher had been walking up to his front door after coming home from work when a loud 'pop' had been heard. He knew that noise.
"Mr. Thomas," said a voice.
He knew that voice too. Christopher turned around to see an old man behind him.
"Professor Dumbledore, what brings you here?" Christopher asked pleasantly surprised to see his old headmaster at his home.
"Urgent news brings me here Christopher. As you know about Voldemort, he has been recruiting new members. He has a list of people whom he challenges to join him. I'm afraid to say that you are next on his list."
Christopher's eyes widened in fear and he flinched at the name of the Dark Lord.
"How do you know this?" he asked alarmed.
"I am in a group … an Order, you can say, that fights against him. I have a number of useful spies who informed me of such fate," Dumbledore replied seriously.
"What do you propose I do?" Christopher responded.
"I have come not only with a warning, but an offer of help. We would be honored if you could join the Order, or if not, I suggest you go into hiding with the Fidelius Charm, which involves a secret-keeper," Dumbledore replied patiently.
"But I have a family – my Muggle wife doesn't even know what I am," Christopher panicked.
"Then I recommend that you tell her."
"No. I won't do that. It would be too dangerous. I went into the Muggle world to escape the dangers of You-Know-Who."
"Do try to use his real name. Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself."
"But now that he's so close to me and my family, I'm more afraid of him than ever. For the protection of my wife and son, I do not dare to join the Order, although rest assured, I will never join Him," Christopher said.
"I've never doubted you."
"And the answer of the Fidelius Charm is out of the asking as well. I will not risk my wife getting involved with magic at this time. The more involved the more in danger she and Dean will become."
"Well, then Christopher, do you have another way of evasion?"
"I – I don't know… But whatever happens to me can you make sure my wife and son are protected?"
The conversation still rang in Christopher's ears as he gazed at the burning fire… He couldn't stay here. If he were to stay here he would attract death eaters to him in his house. They would kill his family, for he would never join them. He knew deep in his heart that he would have to leave his family – and he would have to do it secretly – yet he had to make sure the enemy would not injure his family in the hopes of luring him to them. He would have to act as if they didn't mean a thing to him. He would have to walk out on them… and he would have to do it tonight.
Later that night as Christopher lay next to his beloved wife, he stole out of bed and scrambled as silently as he could down to the kitchen. In the cabinets under the sink he took out a screwdriver and headed back upstairs towards the bathroom. In the moonlight, he managed to unscrew the doorknob without a sound. Once the doorknob was off, a long thin hole in the wood, the length of a knife, was visible.
Christopher looked at the hole with uncertainty. Was he really doing this? Was he really walking out on his son and wife? Was this the right thing to do?
"It may not be the smartest thing to do, but it's definitely the right thing to do," he thought as he drew out his wand from the hole.
"Nine inches, dragon-heart string and mahogany wood. It's been a long time since I've last held you… too long," Christopher thought at the sight of his wand.
He went back to his room where his wife was still sleeping. He muttered something incomprehensible and the doors to the closet opened while clothes started to fold themselves. He left the room for a brief second to go visit Dean in the next room.
He opened the door and it made a tiny creaking noise. He quickly spun around to see if his wife would wake up, but she only turned over on the bed. However, Dean did wake up to the noise. He looked bleary eyed up at the man he knew as his father and comforter.
Christopher for a moment thought Dean would cry or something and wake up his mother, but he did not make a peep.
"Hey Dean," Christopher whispered as he closed the door, this time making sure he closed it with his wand. He walked over to the crib Dean was lying in and lifted his son up.
Dean made a small gurgling sound as he looked up at Christopher.
"You know, I'm going to miss you little guy."
Dean reached up for Christopher's face with tiny fingers and then pointed slightly at the teddy bear that was on the rocking chair by the crib.
"What? You want Teddy?" Christopher asked.
Dean leaned towards the teddy bear and was making grabbing motions with both hands.
"All right, all right. I'll get your Teddy," Christopher said, but before he could reach it, it flew into Dean's arms.
Christopher's surprise was so great that he almost dropped Dean. Dean just giggled as he hugged his bear. Christopher put a hand to his mouth in disbelief and had tears streaming down his face.
"Dean, you just made my day! You did magic Dean!" Christopher whispered enthusiastically and threw Dean into the air. Dean squealed with joy.
Christopher immediately regretted his action of delight and fell silent instantaneously to hear if his wife woke up, but once again his luck prevailed. He sighed deeply and put Dean back in his crib.
"One day you'll learn why I left you. I'm not leaving you because I don't love you. I'm leaving you because I do love you. I'll try to come back when it's time for you to go to Hogwarts. Your mother will not understand your unique powers, but one day she will and so will you."
In the kitchen, Christopher picked up a pad and pencil and wrote a note of deceit to his wife. All the while he was writing, his heart was breaking with desolation. How could he write such vile words to the one he loved so dearly? Love makes you do strange things, but Christopher never thought he would have to do the opposite of love to prove it.
Evalyn,
I can't stand it anymore. This life I'm leading is not the life for me. I need to get out. There's more to life than sitting here with you and Dean. When you read this I will be gone. Don't attempt to find me because you won't succeed. Being a father is not what I wanted to be. All this time I've fooled you while I was trying to fool myself, but it's not working. I'm miserable with you. You're not the woman I was hoping you'd be and you're not like me. You don't satisfy me as much as another woman can. You're too old for me and I need someone with vigor and youth to gratify my longings. I do not trust you either. I know you've been seeing another man. You and your sort have tried me for the last time. These past few, but extremely tiring long years, have been the most exhausting years of my life because of your horrible duties as a wife.
Now that this is off my chest I will not bother to say goodbye. The night is in my favor and I must fly if I wish to make a new beginning.
Christopher decided he could not write anything more horrible than this. He had denied their son, belittled his wife, apparently had an affair with another woman, accused his wife of unfaithfulness, and he did not even bother to say "goodbye." Christopher took a look at the letter and shook with agony. He knew he had to have a letter explaining that he no longer cared for Evalyn and Dean. His enemies would then leave the two alone and not harm them in their search for him.
Christopher picked up his suitcase and stuffed his wand in his coat pocket. He unlocked the front door, exited the house, and closed the door behind him. While crossing the path to the small fence gate he cast one more glance at his wife's bedroom.
"So long my love, may you never be in harm's way," he whispered and did not look behind his shoulders as he disapparated in the growing sunlight.
Evalyn woke up at eight o'clock in the morning. It had only been two hours after Christopher had left. The house was silent and she noticed that Christopher was not lying by her side.
She quickly pulled on a happy face. She thought he had gotten up early for a change and now she would not have to pull him out of bed. She checked on Dean who was still sleeping and decided to have some breakfast with her husband who must be downstairs.
However, when she got there, Christopher was not in the kitchen. In his place was a note with a pencil lying on top. She wearily reached for the note expecting it to say something that he received a call during the night and had to leave immediately, but deep in her head she knew that could possibly not be it. Her eyes grew wider as they flashed over each line. Her breath got caught in her lungs as tears clouded her eyes on the last line. She dropped the letter, which, like a leaf in still wind, glided to the floor.
The next thing she did was call all her relatives and bombarded them with questions while she frantically tried to figure out the meaning of her husband. Everyone was shocked. She desperately tried to keep her nerve, but nothing could console her except Dean over the next few months.
"He didn't even say goodbye…"
Life was just as gloomy for Christopher as it was for Evalyn. His disappearance had reached the Muggle newspapers for a while, but the story faded when nothing from him was heard. Christopher had entered the wizarding world again in shame. He kept a low profile so he could avoid unwanted wizards and witches. He traveled all across the United Kingdom and Ireland, only staying a night at each place, and living off what little money he had pulled out of his small Gringotts bank account.
He traveled under many new names, such as Patrick Synnott, Larkin Chew, Philip Egerton, Geoffrey Warburton, and Thomas Jenkinson. This week he chose the name Oliver Towles.
He had been having a hard time concealing his identity because every wizard inn he had stayed at, he was recognized by school or family friends.
"Damn my stupid popularity," he cursed as he exited the building where he had just seen an old friend of his from Hogwarts.
With his luggage in his pocket (reducto!) and wand in the hand Christopher set out to find a place to stay where he was unrecognizable. He decided to stay at the inn a few blocks away because he felt too tired to disapparate any further.
As he stumbled in the dark alley way he felt in his pocket for the last bit of money that he had. He turned out his pocket and pulled out seven galleons, five sickles, and thirty-one knuts. He sighed at the thought of only three more days of food and shelter. Just at that moment he fell flat forward on his face. He felt the concrete with his hands as he pushed himself up to stand once more. He brushed himself off as he reached for his temple where a slight trickle of blood had begun to accumulate.
"Why doesn't this lane have a bloody streetlight?" he asked himself aloud.
"I don't know Mr. Towles. Perhaps we didn't want it to have one," a voice spoke from the shadows between the buildings.
"Who's there? Show yourself!" Christopher demanded in a loud and sure voice.
"You're not scared, are you, Oliver?" said the voice of another man as the two men revealed themselves.
Christopher stood up straight and eyed the first man with contempt. "What do you want?" he asked suspiciously.
"Well, to be honest," he said sneering, "I was sent here to offer you a proposition from the Dark Lord."
Christopher's eyes widened in fear.
"Oh, there's no need to be frightened," the other laughed. "The Dark Lord is quite impressed with your actions and knowledge. He's really pleased to know that you abandoned your Muggle wife. He sees where your loyalties lie and has asked for you to join him."
"My loyalties?" he asked confused.
"The Dark Lord had his doubts about you when you were still together with your wife, but when you walked out he was intrigued with your actions. Perhaps you were not as weak as he thought you were. I am here in the interest of my master to request that you join us in our attempt to expurgate the human race of all who have association with Muggles."
Oh no. I've only made them come after me faster by leaving Evalyn. At least no one knows about Dean. His youth will save him.
Christopher knew he would have to watch what he said around this man.
"Why did you leave your wife, Mr. Towles? Or shall I say Christopher Thomas?" the second man asked disdainfully.
"She cheated on me, Mr…"
"Macnair," the man finished for Christopher. "Ah, well. Suppose now you could get even with her. The only thing better than escaping the filth is exterminating it. Will you help us?"
Christopher was growing hot in the face, but thankfully due to dim lighting Macnair could not see it. His wife was not filth.
"I am sorry," Christopher said holding his composure and a steady voice. "Even though my views of Muggles have changed I am not a killer and I will not support such a cause."
"That's very sad Christopher, because your alternative to this request is death," Macnair said while putting Christopher under an Anti-Disapparation Jinx.
Christopher gasped as he tried to disapparate, but could not. He quickly pulled out his wand, but because it had been years since he had had any combat training with his wand, Macnair swiftly disarmed him.
"Nott, I think it's time we teach Mr. Thomas a lesson about manners," Macnair said.
"Manners? I need a lesson on manners? Maybe you should think about the manners when you put an Anti-Disapparation Jinx on someone," Christopher spat.
Nott pointed his wand towards Christopher's forehead. Christopher tried to run, but Nott just bound him with ropes that sprung from his wand.
I cannot escape death, but at least my family can.
"Our patience is dwindling Thomas. Will you help us or will you face death?" Nott asked.
Evelyn, I did not leave you because I did not love you. I left you because I wanted to protect you. You are my other self… my undying love.
"I'll darken my eyes before I join the likes of a murderer and those who abet him."
Dean, hopefully one day you'll know how I got killed and that I did not leave you because I loathed being your father. Your mother will take care of you. I love you. Goodbye…
"Then you have chosen death. Avada Kedavra!"
The two men picked up the dead body of Christopher Thomas and left the scene of the crime. His body was buried and Christopher Thomas was never heard of again except as Dean's biological father.
Although Christopher had an untimely death, his spirit did not need to come back. He had not died in vain or unhappiness. His last vision was that of Dean and his perseverance. Christopher had successfully pulled off his plan. His family was safe and if that meant his death, he was in accord with it because one day his unsaid goodbye will be heard in the beating of his family's hearts.