So this will be a short story 1,2,3 chaptors. Review tell me what you think.

Chaptor 1 – Lost again

Ziva was lying on her back on bed. Thinking off the past, she knew now that Tony had loved her. When she was in America she had visited Abby. And she couldn't keep her mouth shut.

'Have you kept contact with Tony' Abby had asked when they were walking in the parc.

'No, why should I' she had answered 'He and I, we just don't '

'O come on Ziva. You and Tony are just about right together. Well I mean back then' Abby said.

'What do you mean by that' she had asked suspicious.

'you didn't know. He loved you, the whole team knew it, Gibbs knew it' Abby almost yelled.

That was when she realized it. He had loved her, all that time and he didn't say a word. But she thought to herself I also never asked for something more. She had it kept deep inside of her, like all her emotions. Now she wished that she had told him.

She had to find him talk to him one last time maybe he stil felt something for her. She knew that he probably had a new life now, but stil she needed to see him.

Days later in America -

Abby had told her where he lived now, her car pulled up befor the house. She turned of the motor of her car but didn't got out. What if he had a wife and children than she couldn't tell him. it would only hurt her. She took a deep breath and stept out her car.

Just a fiew meters she thought that wasn't so hard to do, now the only thing she had to do was knock.

She heard footsteps behind the door, just befor it was opend. She looked in his eyes, they were stil the same as back then.

'Shalom' she said as he looked back at her.

'Ziva. I. euh. Hello I guess' Tony said 'come in' but befor he even had closed the door he asked 'what are you doing here'

She knew that this question would come, she couldn't just say "Well I just stoped by to tell you that I love you". So instead she said 'I was in America for a mission, it is finished and I just thought…' she couldn't say anything more, because she didn't knew what the end of her words were.

Tony lead her to the living room where they sat down, and an unpleasant silence began.

The last time they had seen each other was five years ago. When Ziva had pointed a gun at him, without realizing it they both saw the last time they met in there mindes.

Than it had been a long two moths since they saw each other, Ziva's father had called her back to mossad. What they both didn't knew was that the other was closer than they thought. Her father called her with him.

'Ziva, I need you to murder someone for me, for mossad' Eli david had said.

'Can't I just get the information out of him by not killing him. I don't want to be a killer anymore'Ziva had said.

'No you will only kill him, for me. I do not want information only his deadbody' Eli said without moving a muchle.

'I will not do it. I'm done with this, done with mossad' She had yelled at was something she shouldn't have said.

'you will kill him, but befor you do I will let you feel just a little bit of what happens if you leave mossad, leave me' Eli said. And with only saying it didn't stay. He stood up, suprissing his daughter by pulling his knife. He pushed her to the wall and cut her cheek befor slapping it. He beat her even more untill she was lying on the floor, one last time he beat her befor putting the knife in he stomace. Making sure that no organs were hit.

It was two weeks later Ziva was on a mission, well not really a mission more an assassination. She didn't had the name of her victim she didn't want to know. She let her self in it was allready dark, she sat in the living room waiting for her victim to show.

One hour had past when finally the door opend the light stayed out. When he walked in it was time to rolle. She pulled her knife, a gun would make to much noise 'stop right there, or it will get messy' then she tackled her victim. What she didn't expected was that her victim was strong and trow her of him and turned the lightes on. Without looking she pussed him to the wall and put the knife to his troat.

'Ziva' He said. Then she looked in his eyes, the eyes that she loved. 'what the hell are you doing. Put that knife down'

'I can't '

'what do you mean you can't. Ziva it's me' Tony said she didn't lower the knife 'we were a team, friends, a family' he tried.

'I know it's just if I won't than'

He saw the thin line on her olive skin, she had already felt what would happen if she didn't kill him. 'Oke well than do it, Kill me like I'm nothing to you, just another of your targgets. '

She looked in his eyes and knew she couldn't she loved him to much. 'I'm sorry' she cut only his arm so that he was distrackted than she run out the door without looking back.

'Tony I'm sorry' Ziva brook the silence.

'rule number 6 never say your sorry' was the only thing Tony could say. 'I've missed you'

'me to. It is just I came her because of Abby. She told me that all thoose years you' she couldn't say anything more. She just stared he didn't say a thing.

'I know I hurt you I wanted to know why you didn't say anything to me. Back than and last time' She tried.

'You wanted to know' she could hear the pain in his voice 'what should I've said. What tell me Ziva. That you were a part of my life. But you just walked away. Left us, left me. I thought I could trust you back than'

'But Tony' Ziva almost cried he was hurt she could see it, could feel it. 'you can trust me'.

Whas it really over between them.

He began to shout ' No Ziva I can't not anymore. I called you, wrote you but you never returned. You left without saying anything to me, you said goodbye to everyone. Gibbs, Abby, Mcgee Ducky even to Palmer but not to Me. Can you imagen how I felt, how I still feel. What Abby has told you was true. Is true but I just can't. Just leave, go and don't come back'