A is for Arson (Intro)

A/N: When Sam is caught for setting Mrs. Briggs car on fire, she is forced to write an alphabiography

A is for Arson, which is why I have to do this stupid alphabiography in the first place. It started last Tuesday, with me, Jonah (we've made amends), and Ripoff. We just put random flammable substances on Mrs. Briggs car door and all over. Then, we had Gibby give her a lit candle, which she said she'd keep on her dashboard (what kind of nub does that?), so when she accidentally knocked it against her door, it burst into flames. Then, all four of us was dragged down to Principal Franklin's, where he lectured, and then told the other three they had three week suspension, but he told me I could be expelled. Then, when Gibby and the rest left, he said he had an assignment for me. I groan. "Sam, I want you to write an alphabiography," he said sternly.

"An alphabiowhat?" I asked incredulously. Honestly, it's not like he's talking to Carly, or someone relatively smart.

"An alphabiography, where you use all the letters in the alphabet to write chapters about your life," he said.

I groan. "Ugh, just throw knifes in my eyes."

"You do it, or you are going back to jail," he said, glaring at me.

All the blood in my body froze, I slowly rose to my feet, and walked out the door.

And that is why I have to write this stupid alphabiography in the first place.

I guess A could also be for addiction.

Addicted to what, you ask? Meat.

I love meat of all sorts. Ham is my favorite. Or, A could be for 'assortment'.

I guess it's easier if I stick with that.

I am an assorted person, very selective and different. Some people believe I act like a bully because I'm abused at home, or my mother tries to ride the German sausage with me at night. Well, both are false. The only thing my mom doesn't do is pay attention to me at all. Which is exactly how I like it. Assorted items in my life could be something or nothing, but when you read this dumb alphabiography, I guess they mean something special after all.

A/N: I'm trying something new, and I don't really know about it... Sam seems a little OOC, but I'll fix that in later chapters, if ya want me to continue that it. All you have to do is press the button...