Romancing the diaper
(Week 32)
Jennie arrived at the community centre at six o'clock as was her habit on Tuesday nights. Her kids were all set for dinner; they could fend for themselves until she got home shortly after nine, after all they were 13 and 15 and they were used to taking the initiative with meals and household chores. They had been living in a single parent home for the past 8 years ever since their dad had flown the coop to live in Colorado with his new girlfriend.
Single parenting wasn't easy but Jennie loved her girls. Being a parent had been the most rewarding experience of her life and she wouldn't change it for anything. For that reason, she enjoyed teaching the pre-natal classes once a week. It kept her grounded in the reasons people chose to have babies – for the pure joy of welcoming a new human being and committing to raising them into adulthood.
Some days, however, she would love some male company. She had been on a couple of isolated dates since her marriage broke up but nothing that went anywhere and, at 43, she was open to meeting an interesting and unique man who would add a little spice to her life.
She placed the teaching materials on the tables and set out the mats in preparation for the group of excited parents to be who would be arriving in a little while. It was week 3 of a 4 week course and participants were starting to bond with each other and share concerns, hopes and fears. It was always very gratifying to watch the evolution of her students and the increased ease with which they mastered skills to prepare for the birth and first few months of their new baby's life
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Neal began looking at his watch at around five thirty. If he was going to make it home, have a bite to eat and get to the pre-natal class with Sara, he would have to leave within half an hour. Hughes was going on about this new procedure that was being implemented by the Bureau and he droned on and on about the new Form 178B which had to be completed in triplicate when applying for protective custody of a witness.
Peter could see Neal fidgeting and as he pretended to check his Blackberry for messages, he texted Neal
Peter : What's up? You're fidgeting
Neal felt the phone vibrate in his breast pocket. It must be Sara, he thought, reminding him of the class at seven o'clock. It was only a four week course not long enough to really get into the habit so she had been reminding him every Tuesday morning and again in late afternoon.
The classes had been interesting. There was so much to learn about pregnancy and childbirth, Neal realized. He never knew his role as a father was so important. He had the essential job of taking things in hand when Sara was out of her mind with contractions or just not up to thinking clearly. So far, he had learned how to recognize the signs of the onset of labor, how to time contractions, the stages of labor and how to cut the umbilical cord. These were crucial skills if he was going to support Sara properly around the time of the birth of their daughter.
When he saw Peter's name on the screen, he looked up at him, frowning. He opened the text and answered
Neal: 'Pre-natal class tonight, is this going to go on much longer?
Peter: Only a half dozen more procedures to go. I figure at least an hour.
It was already 5:45 and Neal was starting to panic. Sara counted on him for support and tonight they were going to be discussing the care of newborns, swaddling, diaper changes and breastfeeding. He definitely didn't want her to have to go alone.
Neal: Is Elizabeth around tonight?
Peter: She has an event until around eleven. Why?
Neal: I was going to put her on stand-by to go to class with Sara until I get there
Peter: What about Mozzie?
Neal laughed out loud and Hughes sent a disapproving look his way. Neal coughed and pretended to look down at the form sitting in front of him. After another twenty minutes or so, he discreetly got up and pretended to go out to use the washroom. When he got near the elevators, he dialed home and Sara answered on the second ring.
'Where are you?' she said a little shrill 'We have to leave in about twenty minutes'
'I'm stuck here, Sara. Hughes called a meeting at four o'clock and we're going to be here for another little while'
'Neaaaal' she whined 'I don't want to go to this thing alone and tonight is breastfeeding and diaper changing…'
'I know, I know' said Neal 'and I'll get there as soon as I can'
He could hear a voice in the background.
'Is that Moz?' he asked
'Yes, raiding our wine selection, as usual' she said, pouting
'Why don't I see if Mozzie can at least take you and stay with you until I get there?' suggested Neal
'You're joking, right?' said Sara
'Any other ideas?' Neal asked
After a few seconds, Sara passed the phone over to Mozzie. 'Neal wants to talk to you' she said
'Hey Moz, I need a huge favor' Neal said
'Like I've ever said no to you. What is it documents, a meet, what?'
'No, I need you to put Sara in a cab and take her to our pre-natal class and stay with her until I get there'
'Oh, I see, you're calling in every single favor you've ever done for me over the past ten years' deadpanned Mozzie
'Moz, I'm serious. I really need you.'
'Really, Neal, which part of every single thing you know about me would lead you to believe I'm the right person for this mission'
'Moz…..'
'Oh, alright, I hate grovelling. Just get there as fast as you can'
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Mozzie and Sara arrived with just a few minutes to spare. They entered the classroom and Mozzie started looking around at the mats on the ground and the tables set up with dolls and various paraphernalia for diaper changing and swaddling that he had absolutely no interest in finding out about.
'How about I go across the hall to that AA meeting while I wait for you. I saw donuts on the table' he said to Sara making an about face to leave the room.
'Mozzie, don't leave me alone. We always start with breathing exercises and I need a partner for that' she said waving to another participant she recognized from a previous class.
Jennie was working the room, greeting every couple personally by name and generally just making everyone comfortable. She walked up to Sara and smiled.
'Hi Sara. Where's Neal this evening' she asked as she looked Mozzie up and down
'He's stuck in a meeting but he'll be here as soon as he can' answered Sara 'This is Mozzie, he's a good friend of ours' she added, motioning to Mozzie
Mozzie was also checking out Jennie who had put out a friendly hand in welcome.
'Nice to meet you…. Mozzie' she said 'that's an unusual name'
'You don't know the half of it' he answered under his breath as he bowed his head instead of shaking her hand
Sara just rolled her eyes and wondered how Neal had roped both of them into this.
Jennie moved to the front of the class and instructed everyone to find a spot on a mat to begin the nightly breathing exercises. Sara pointed to one of the mats where she and Neal usually set up and Mozzie followed her, uncertain of his role in all this. He could see all the dads setting up behind their partners and sat down, ambivalent, behind Sara awaiting further instructions and feeling totally out of place.
'Now' began Jennie 'Dads, put your legs on either side of your partner and moms lean into you partners'
'Is this for real?' whispered Mozzie into Sara's ear
'Mozzie, please' said Sara
He looked around trying to mimic what the other men in the room were doing and although he and Sara had come a long way since she first came into Neal's life, he was totally uncomfortable with having to be so close to a pregnant, hormonal Sara. She, on the other hand, had begun to feel no need to apologize for her condition and her needs. She settled right in up against Mozzie and prepared to concentrate on her breathing exercise. Jennie, sensing Mozzie's discomfort walked up behind him and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder helping him get into the proper position. He looked up and smiled at her and was surprised when she not only returned his smile but gave him a small wink.
The first portion of the class over, the soon to be parents were invited up to the tables where Jennie had set up life-size dolls (with appropriate genitalia) and all you would need to change a diaper. She asked all the dads to step up and take the first crack while the moms sat and watched. Although Mozzie had much experience carting around Barney in his baby carrier, he
most certainly had never had to change his diaper. He pulled out the latex gloves that he always had in his pocket and tentatively picked up a diaper looking around at the other men nearby for someone who seemed to know what he was doing. One guy was confidently picking up the diaper and began folding it like a complicated origami flower. In imitation, Mozzie grabbed the diaper with a little too much gusto and sent it flying over his shoulder landing right in Jennie's face.
Sara looked at her watch. C'mon Neal! she thought.
Jennie smiled and walked over to where Mozzie was standing and began demonstrating hand over hand how to fold the cloth diaper properly and set it down on the table. Mozzie seemed to be in a trance as he followed her every movement like a goofy teenager smitten by the cute girl in the class. She returned to the front of the room and Mozzie proceeded to put the diaper as best he could on his male make-believe baby.
Suddenly, the door to the class opened and in walked Neal out of breath and certainly not as meticulously coiffed as he usually was. He strode quickly towards Sara, apologizing as he went for the interruption. He gave her a quick peck as he settled next to her and she proceeded to fill him in on what was going on. Neal looked up and to his surprise saw Mozzie changing a diaper with flair and panache as only Mozzie could and looking very proud of himself to boot. Jennie walked up to Mozzie once again and took the doll from his hands showing the class the successful way of putting a diaper on a baby. He smiled, proud of his accomplishment and Neal looked at Sara, raising his eyebrows and stifling a laugh.
The class ended without incident and Mozzie stayed behind and helped Jennie tidy up refusing Neal and Sara's offer of a cab back uptown.
On the way home, Neal sat next to Sara, holding her hand and apologizing once again for his late arrival.
'What the hell was that all about?' he asked Sara 'I never would have imagined Mozzie embracing a middle class ritual like a pre-natal class?'
'I don't know. He started out pretty shaky' she said. 'Promise me you will be there next week' she pleaded
The following week, being the last of the four sessions, Neal and Sara waited until the end of class and went up to thank Jennie for her help and encouragement. As Neal was expressing his gratitude, Sara gave him a sharp jab in the ribs calling attention to a new arrival at the door to the classroom. There, at the door, holding a bunch of daisies in his hands was Mozzie.
'Oh, hi Mozzie' said Jennie 'I'll be just a minute'
'Anyway' she continued, 'it was really nice to meet you both. Best of luck with the arrival of your daughter'
'Bye' said Neal and Sara simultaneously, taking in what was obviously a new love match. They stared at each other, dumbfounded, and began to laugh incredulously.