Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight characters.

Bella's POV. Set after Edward left.

-Interruption-

I rushed into my room. I could feel the tears threatening to overwhelm me. To claim my forsaken body in sadness. Charlie had spoken of him. I didn't know what'd he said, probably telling me to get over it, but I couldn't hear anything after the pain of hearing his name took over.

I threw myself onto my bed, writhing in pain as the hole in my chest opened up. I screamed. I screamed until my hoarse voice gave out. I was waiting, waiting for the pain to recede to the back of my mind and for the numbness to take over. It was slow coming. It started in my fingers and toes and eventually worked its way up to the gaping hollow where my heart had been and from there, to my head, pushing back my thoughts, leaving me empty.

This was how I normally passed my time, in numb, empty, nothingness, for the day at least. At night I could never keep from being reminded that he should be next to me, holding me in his protective embrace…

That's why I was surprised when my emptiness was interrupted by words. They were words about him and me. They flowed in stanzas. The words were a poem. I'm not really a poetic person, especially since poems reminded me of songs and music, which reminded me of him, but the words rhymed, they made sense, and they kept coming. They also didn't hurt too much and after I got through the first few stanzas, I even felt a little better. I decided to write them down.

You and me
were meant to be
together
ever-lasting
in this love forever
never thinking it would ever stop

But then you turned your back
and you left me
What the hell
was that supposed to mean
I don't see
where you and me went wrong

Now you see
I'm all alone
and left confused
my heart is broken
never to be glued
and all of this was caused because of you

A hole is ripped through my chest
every time I hear
any mention of your name
and now it's clear
I'm not ever
getting over this

I cry
I scream
I feel nothing
I don't know what's happening
but I know
it won't ever go away

You loved me
and I loved you
I always know
that much is still true
But that doesn't
tell me why you left

Now you're gone
never to come back
The realization
hits me like a smack
And I can tell
hoping is futile

This is it. I'm done.
I'm giving up
There's too much pain
I've finally had enough
Without you
my life just isn't worth it

I'd say goodbye
if there were someone left to tell
but they all left
when they learned I wasn't well
stuck in
my own depressing world

But today is the day
I take my leave
No longer your absence
will I grieve
I'm heading
for…

The words had finally stopped and I didn't know what I was heading for. I knew the poem had taken a suicidal turn, but I didn't want to commit suicide, that would be too selfish. But I was allowed to be overly dramatic in poetry, wasn't I? So how could I say heading for death, without making it sounds as plain and stupid as that? For my numbing escape? No, that sounded like drugs. For…eternal sleep? That just sounded stupid and, from what I got out of sleep, it wasn't exactly something that I wanted to go through forever. I wanted to escape the pain forever. I just wanted it to go away. I didn't want to scream anymore. I wanted quiet. I wanted, wanted…peace. That's what I wanted, peace, forever. I'm heading for eternal peace. That didn't sound too bad, not bad at all actually. I liked eternal and peace was the best way to describe what I wanted, so it fit really well…eternal peace.

But today is the day
I take my leave
No longer your absence
will I grieve
I'm heading
for eternal peace

I tore the paper out of my notebook and took it with me to bed. I read it until I fell into a restless sleep. I tossed and turned and twisted in pain so much that I had lost the poem amongst my sheets.

My eyes blinked open at the first sign of light, tired and heavy after a night of more screaming than sleeping. I just stared at the ceiling, waiting for the numbness to come. It came, it always does eventually. Human bodies always have a way of coping. After I willed myself to get up, I managed to swing my legs over the edge of my bed and stand up. When I stood up, something fell to the floor. It was a piece of paper. After I read the first stanza, memories came bursting through my shield and the pain came washing over me, bringing me to my knees and pulling a scream from my lips. I couldn't bear to look at it. I couldn't stand for it to exist. Through my eyes, blurred with tears, I ripped the paper. I tore and clawed and shredded it into a hundred pieces. I gathered them up and threw them in the trash, too sick to even look at the remnants. I went to the bathroom to wash my hands and tried to rid myself of even the memory of the words. I stood there for a long time, letting the water and the numbness flow over me.

I walked back into my room, completely numb, and I noticed that I had missed one scrap of paper. I picked it up and was about to dispose of it when I read the words on it: eternal peace. If I couldn't have eternal peace then neither would that poem. I crumpled up the words and threw them in a drawer in my desk. Not letting my numbness be broken, I smirked at the coincidence that I should find those words. That they really were something I could never obtain.

The thought struck me later, that I had never named the poem. It seemed fittingly ironic that I should name the piece that was gone by its surviving words. Like reminding it of what it had been, but could now never be.

Poetry is really my thing, but this is the first time I've put any on here. I'm rather fond of this one, but I'd love to know what you think. Is this believable for Bella?