Summary: Sam and Blaine are looking for an apartment in New York. For a few days they are staying with Rachel and Kurt... Things turn out differently than everybody had thought. (Like whatever you're thinking now? Nope. Not it.) Samchel. Blam from a third POV. Mention of former Klaine. Friendship-Klaine (yes I ship them as friends sue me)
Warning: This isn't fluff. There will be sad stuff and no happy ending. (Title says it all.) Don't read if you don't want this okay?
Sometimes Love Rushes By
Rachel never asked if people would want her. She knew auditioning was all about doing one's best even if you most likely wouldn't get the job. So she just went in and sang till her lungs hurt, forgetting everything and everybody around her and if afterwards she'd get the role she was even happier.
But today she didn't get the role. The juries had told her no reason, just sent her home.
Looking for her keys in her purse she hoped Kurt had cooked and Santana wouldn't be home. Rachel could do with a nice, quiet evening and with Santana in the house it never was quiet. Then again she was barely home anyway.
But as Rachel opened the door she heard cries. No quiet time, then. But those were boy's voices, and not even Kurt's. Who else would be here?
Oh – Blaine was standing in the kitchen area. That was strange, why –
"Rachel! You're here!"
"Of course I'm here", she said as Kurt waved overdramatically at her.
"Long time, no see!", another voice called. Now Sam Evans appeared in front of her face and hugged her.
"Boys! How nice! What are you doing here?" She freed herself and put her purse and jacket down, looking at Kurt.
"Blaine and Sam are in town, checking out apartments", Kurt said.
Rachel also hugged Blaine and looked at him and Sam who smiled at each other. Then Rachel looked at Kurt, wondering if his feelings for Blaine were already gone completely. But apparently he was okay seeing the two of them together – they were a couple, weren't they? Rachel had always thought Sam Evans had something gay about him. No offense, of course, but with some people you just knew.
"That's great! I'm glad for you", she said. "Although I'm not sure if moving in together at such a young age is the right thing to do. It can destroy every oh-so-happy relationship. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about!"
"Oh, no, no, we're not a couple", Blaine quickly said.
"Just one-sided", Sam added. "Blaine wouldn't say no. But we're just friends."
"Way to deny something", Blaine whispered, pushing lightly against Sam's arm.
"Well, it's true", Sam whispered back. Both boys should maybe learn to whisper somewhat quieter. Rachel exchanged a look with Kurt who just shook his head.
"Well." Rachel put her hands together. "Who's in for some Chinese? I'm not in the mood to cook but so hungry. Let's order something!"
"Let's order foohoood!" Kurt danced to the telephone.
"And you can't be a one-sided couple, that's just nonsense", Blaine was saying. Rachel decided to let them have their one-sided-couple-discussion and retreated to the bathroom.
After she had showered and put on fresh clothes she felt so much better. Perhaps she would get the next role she would audition for. Or maybe it was good to have more time for Nyada University, after all the courses were very intense and exhausting.
After they had eaten dinner Kurt wanted to go out. His idea wasn't met with very much enthusiasm though. Rachel wanted to go to bed early and their guests seemed to be irresolute.
"I don't know, we were walking around the whole day", Sam said.
Blaine didn't say he didn't want to although Rachel could see it he was tired. She guessed he didn't want to disappoint Kurt who pulled the saddest face one could imagine. Rachel herself almost fell for it but luckily this time Blaine was the object of attention.
"For old time's sake?", Kurt said to him.
While Blaine tried to make his decision Rachel began to put the dishes together and brought it to the kitchen.
"Can I ask you something?"
Sam put the empty cartons in the trash and then leaned against the cabinets. "Is Kurt still with this Adam-guy?"
"Oh, Sam! Are you afraid Blaine and Kurt could get back together?"
Nobody could tell Rachel Sam wasn't jealous. She knew it. She knew things sometimes, it was a rare gift and she had it.
"No, dude, I'm just wondering. Blaine can get a little… over enthusiastic when it comes to Kurt. I don't want him to make any mistakes."
Rachel patted Sam's arm. "Kurt is single now but I don't think he would want Blaine back. We will see, okay?"
Sam nodded, and Rachel watched his face as he looked over to Blaine and Kurt but he didn't let on if he would be jealous or not.
"We will see", Sam said, and then the other boys joined them in the kitchen.
"So, we're going to Jekyll & Hide's! Are you coming? Just one drink." Kurt held one finger into the air. Rachel shook her head. But Kurt dragged her away from the others and whispered:
"If Sam comes with us, you have to come, too, and distract him. I need to talk with Blaine."
"About what?" She crossed her arms.
"About everything, Rachel, it's about time. We never had a decent end-talk and when I was in Lima for Regionals he was a bit weird. I don't want this to happen again."
"Unfortunately, this sounds really mature and like the right thing to do", Rachel said.
"Of course! I'm a grown man in case you hadn't noticed."
Rachel waggled her head to tease him a bit. Eventually the two boys came to them and announced they were ready to go.
Rachel raised her eyebrows to Sam, on the edge of asking him if he didn't dare to leave Blaine alone with Kurt. But of course she didn't say anything. After all she was a grown-up herself. She gripped her purse and pushed her friends out of the door.
Kurt owed her big for this, that was for sure.
"So you actually joined the Cheerios? Oh my god!" Kurt clapped his hands in amusement. "I wished I had seen this!"
Rachel sipped her drink, grinning to Blaine who had gotten a somewhat silly look in his eyes over the curse of the last hour. He looked at Kurt with that look and Rachel hadn't a very good feeling about that. But it was Kurt's fault, he didn't behave very distant.
"It never paid off, Coach Sylvester got fired soon after that", Sam said. "Because of the shooting and everything."
"Oh yeah, I've heard of that. Terrible." Kurt sighed.
In the few silent moments afterwards he shot a glance to Rachel. She rolled her eyes but did as Kurt had asked.
"Have you seen that old fashioned jukebox over there? I'm dying to know what songs they have, don't you?", she said to Sam, nudging his arm.
"Not really, no."
"Oh, come on! Let's have a look!"
Hopefully she wasn't too obvious. Then again, he kept looking to the boys opposite to him so he wouldn't notice.
"Yeah, Sam, go on", Kurt now said. "I wanted to talk to Blaine, anyway."
"Oh. Alright."
Sam got up hesitantly. Rachel practically dragged him to the music box.
"What kind of music do you like apart from country?", she wanted to know.
"Who say's I like country music?"
"I – Didn't you play some songs like that back in Glee club? Maybe my memory is bad, doesn't matter. Well, what do you like?"
"You sound like you've been away for forever but you only graduated last year", Sam said. He got some coins out of his pocket and fiddled them in his hand.
"Well, a lot of things have happened since then, it certainly feels like forever", Rachel said.
"Yeah? Like what?" Sam didn't even look at her but Rachel gratefully took this offer to talk about her failed audition and general plans to go to Broadway. Not that he didn't know. Everybody from her old (and new) school knew.
Then a country song started playing and Sam grinned at her. "Looks like you memory isn't that bad."
"Oh, you!" She lightly hit his arm and glanced to their table. Of course she couldn't hear what Kurt and Blaine were talking about and neither made a very expressive face either.
"Do you know what Kurt wanted to talk about?", Sam asked. Rachel immediately regretted looking and turned to him.
"No. But it's none of our concern, is it? Come on, let's dance!"
She took his hand and pulled him away from the box, starting to dance until he finally went with it. Rachel didn't know the song but all country songs were the same: Happy and good spirited and you just could roll with it.
"So, what are your plans after graduation?", she asked him as the song ended and she didn't know if they were allowed to return to the table.
"I don't know. Keep on making music, I guess."
"But you are looking for an apartment in New York, so does that mean you got into a college or…?"
"No, Blaine did. I'm still waiting for answers. But New York is good, isn't it? Many opportunities and everything."
"Yeah, right, that's true! You're gonna find something", Rachel said. "Come on. Let's get another drink!"
And on to the bar. Rachel sat down in a bar stool and grasped the menu.
"You have changed", Sam said as he sat in his own stool. Rachel looked up.
"Oh, life in a big city changes everyone and everything. You'll see. But I'm still good old Rachel, believe me." She smiled and looked back at the menu. She wasn't planning on drinking too much so she went through the non-alcoholic section.
"Kurt has changed, too. I wonder what will happen to me." Sam apparently felt in the mood to ponder about big questions tonight.
"You will see, don't worry. Seriously, Sam, don't stress yourself. It will all come together in the end, I promise. Come on, what do you want to drink?"
They gave up their orders and then stayed in the stools. Rachel dared to glance back to the table, wondering how long it would take. She was beginning to get tired again, and tomorrow wasn't exactly a lazy day lying ahead of her.
"Are you single?"
"Excuse me?" Rachel turned to look at Sam.
"I'm just wondering. A girl like you certainly isn't single, right?"
"What do you mean 'a girl like me'? Oh god, I don't want to know what Tina and Brittany are talking about me in McKinley!"
"No! No, I meant… because you're pretty. That's it. No one talks, okay?" Sam blushed a bit and hit his face in his glass for some long moments.
"You think I'm pretty?" Rachel wasn't as self-conscious as she had been on her first day in New York (or all the days before in Ohio) but she still was amazed when people talked nicely about her. And yes, of course she liked to hear compliments.
Especially from boys who she had thought they considered her ugly. She didn't really know why she had thought Sam did – oh, yes, that was right, he had turned her down one time as she had asked him to be her prom date. He had said she wasn't 'his type'. And that was just another phrase for 'you're ugly', wasn't it?
"Well, yeah", Sam said.
"Oh. Thanks", Rachel said. She didn't know what else to say and Sam kept staring into his glass. So she decided to answer his question.
"And for your information, yes, I'm single. The last boy I dated had turned out to be a call boy. After that I decided to concentrate on my career. I mean I can't expect to be successful if I don't work for it, right? Sometimes it's really exhausting but it's my passion, it's what is gets me out of bed every morning! I love it."
"That's good. Doing what you love, that's good", Sam said. He smiled at her, put a blonde strand behind his ear and looked to their table. Rachel didn't, though, she looked at him. He wasn't too ugly himself. Of course she couldn't call a boy 'pretty', they just didn't like that, but… he was handsome.
Even attractive.
"Do you think they are ready?"
"What?" Rachel let go of her thoughts and turned around. Kurt and Blaine, right. And Sam and Blaine, oh gosh… Why didn't the thought of Sam possibly being in love with Blaine lighten up her spirits anymore? She loved to see happy couples and it was obvious that Blaine could use somebody.
At the moment he didn't look so happy, and Kurt didn't, too. At least both got up and Kurt came towards them, so Sam went to Blaine. Rachel saw how he put his hand on his shoulder immediately and Blaine went for a hug, then Kurt stood in front of her, making it impossible to see more.
"Oh god, I need a drink!"
"And I need to go home. Tomorrow will be a long day", she said. As she glided from her chair she gave Kurt her drink and on her way out she heard his complaints.
"Rachel! Is that non-alcoholic? Did you just give me a non-alcoholic drink?"
On the way back nobody talked. Even Kurt gave it up as his words were met with deadly silence. Rachel wondered what he had said to Blaine but it would have to wait until the boys were gone until she would get to know.
As she came home the next afternoon she wondered whether they'd still be there. But it was silent as she came in so she guessed not. She would a little disappointed if they truly had left without saying goodbye. But who was she to expect things like that? She was unimportant to them and their new found love. Just a statist one forgot as soon as she was out of sight.
Rachel took a shower, wondered where Santana was (she hadn't been in the loft for at least week) and started to cook dinner. As she was almost ready, Kurt came home.
"Ah! Food!"
Rachel hit his fingers who were way to close to her pan. "Wash up! And don't think you can get away with everything without ever contributing something in return!"
"I have no idea what you're talking about", he said, already on his way to the bathroom. "If the doorbell goes, it's probably Blaine and Sam. I doubt Santana still remembers us."
"You mean they're not gone?"
"Honey, they've just arrived yesterday", Kurt said, then the door fell shut behind him. Rachel smiled to herself, doing the rest of the cooking with a song on her lips. She loved having her friends around, that was just it.
Not fifteen minutes later the boys came back and helped her set up the table. Blaine seemed in a good mood today, no hint to being down because of whatever Kurt had told him yesterday.
"So, have you found an apartment?", Rachel wanted to know as she laid out the cutlery.
"Dude, have you any idea how big New York is?", Sam said.
"Of course I do!", Rachel said, trying to sound not offended. Why would he call her 'dude'? She wasn't one of his boy-friends.
"We have seen three apartments but they were either too expensive or… well, one time the landlord thought we…" Blaine started to stutter and went on putting plates on the table.
"He thought we were a couple and threw us out before we could explain", Sam said. "It's weird how everybody always think's that."
He tasted the salad on the kitchen island while Blaine sat down on a chair. Rachel went to Sam and took the bowl away from him.
"Well, people like to think", she said in doing so.
"Yeah, but do I look especially gay or what?"
"I'm gay in case you forgot", Blaine said.
"But it takes two to have hot gay sex", Sam said. Blaine blushed and Rachel turned around to the stove to hide her grin.
"Hey! I saw that", Sam said. He poked her into the shoulder so Rachel squealed.
"What? I didn't do anything!"
"Oh yeah, you laughed. No matter how cute your smile is you can't get away with making fun of gay people. Come on, admit it!" Sam poked her again. Rachel turned around and fended him but she couldn't stop giggling. He thought her smile was cute.
"Now, are you ready there? Let's eat!" Kurt's voice flew through the room. He came to the kitchen to take the bowl of salad. Rachel gave the pasta to Sam who carried it to the table and took the vegetables herself.
It was a good dinner. Blaine and Kurt talked to each other, it didn't feel like there was anything between them. Rachel couldn't tell if Blaine was holding back something but if he did, he did it pretty good. And Sam was being so adorable. His smile especially, but also his occasional impressions of people (Rachel didn't really know who but did it matter?) were just hilarious.
She caught herself imagining how it would feel to snuggle up to him, to have his arms around her. And she let herself have that fantasy. When he and Blaine were gone she still could talk herself out of it and wait for someone else – maybe someone older and more mature. But until then she allowed herself to indulge in that fantasy.
"So, what are we doing tonight?", Kurt said as they ate pudding for desert.
"Oh, come on! We can't go out every night", Rachel said.
"Of course we can. We are even obliged to, I mean it's Friday night and our guests certainly expect entertainment!"
"No, not really", Blaine said. "I'd be okay with watching a movie."
"But don't you want to…" Kurt didn't open his mouth very wide as he leaned to Blaine. "Look around?"
"No rush", Blaine said.
"Look around? For what?", Sam asked.
Kurt rolled his eyes. "What do you think? A boyfriend, of course. Or have you changed your mind about your sexuality?"
"Kurt!" Blaine hit his ex so that he gave a little cry and rubbed over his arm.
"One can't speak the truth without getting hurt in this loft."
Sam shifted uncomfortably on his chair. "I don't…"
"You don't have to answer that, Sam", Blaine quickly said. "It's just Kurt's wishful thinking."
"My wishful thinking, oh, oh, of course!"
"Kurt, can you help me with the dishes?", Rachel interrupted. As soon as they were out of earshot she turned to him.
"Stop making them uncomfortable!"
"What did I do!?"
"Oh, don't pretend to be innocent, we all know you are not." Rachel put the plates into the dish washer. "If Sam says he isn't gay, he isn't, okay?"
"Well, he could still find out he is, he's only nineteen!"
"Why do you have to insist he changes his mind? You know as good as everybody else that's not how it works."
"What do you care anyway? Unless… oh!" Kurt put his hand in front of his mouth, looked to the table and back to Rachel, pointing at her. "You want him for yourself!"
"No, I don't. Well, I mean, if I did it still would be his decision, wouldn't it?"
"Rachel! I never took you for the kind to go after younger men!"
Rachel lifted a finger. "One year. He's one year younger. And I never said I… Oh, why do you always jump to conclusions? That is so annoying!"
Kurt raised his eyebrows. "Are you denying I'm right?"
Rachel sighed and turned back to the dish washer, sorting in the cutlery. "Well, he is cute." She turned back immediately to put her finger in front of Kurt's nose.
"You keep your big mouth shut! They are our guests and should feel comfortable, alright!?"
Kurt lifted his hands. "I'm the last person to be hostile."
"Don't be too friendly as well."
"Whatever!" Kurt pulled a grimace and went back to the table, clapping his hands together. "Rachel just told me she wants to go dancing in a gay bar tonight!"
Rachel rolled her eyes and shut the dish washer loudly (if that was possible). Could someone please remind her why she was living with that boy?
"And you are really comfortable with it?", Rachel asked Sam as they walked behind Kurt and Blaine down the street.
"Whatever Blaine wants. And I mean he wants a man, right? He should get one. I don't want him to be heartbroken because of me. Or anyone."
Rachel nodded and put her hands into her pockets. "So you are one hundred per cent sure to not feel anything for him?"
Sam looked at her questioningly. "What kind of question is that? If I did I'd have snogged the shit out of him a long time ago."
"Look", Rachel said, suppressing a sigh. "It's stuff like that you say that make people think you could be gay. Or bi. Whatever."
Sam shrugged. "It's only talk."
They were silent for a few moments, then Sam said: "I'm not very fortunate with girls. So when I realised Blaine likes me I – I was really flattered, you know? And what does it matter if he's a boy? He's my best friend, I love him."
Rachel silently 'awwed' at him and linked their arms. "Just for the record, any girl would be lucky to have you as her man."
"Ladies, here we are!" Kurt announced. They got in a long line of people.
"Oh, Kurt, couldn't you take us to a bar that wouldn't be over crowded?", Rachel wanted to know.
"Where's the point in that? Blaine wants to find a man. And I wouldn't be indisposed either." He waggled his eyebrows and Rachel sighed again. It was Kurt's fault if she stayed at Sam's side tonight, a gay bar wasn't exactly where she could meet someone.
Blaine rubbed his hands and looked up to the signboard of the bar some feet away. It read 'Jungle' in big red letters.
"Dude, maybe you will meet the love of your life!", Sam said, lightly hitting Blaine's shoulder. The black haired boy forced a smile on his face.
"Yeah. Maybe."
A few hours later Blaine was looking like he actually had fun, jumping around like a crazy person on the dance floor. Always with different men so Rachel didn't know if he had his eyes on someone.
Kurt was standing with her and Sam at a cocktail table and slurped his drink.
"Sam, this is the third guy who checks you out. Why is nobody looking at me? I mean… is something wrong with my face?"
"Just throw yourself into the crowd, like Blaine", Rachel said.
"Yeah, I think Blaine should stop drinking", Sam said.
"Uhuh, do I detect jealousy?", Kurt asked.
"You sure detect caution", Sam said. "Look at some of those guys. They could easily rape Blaine."
"I assure you they won't. They just look dangerous", Kurt said. "It's the normal looking guys you should worry about."
Rachel hadn't seen any other girl the whole night. Not that she cared but it wasn't normal either. She has been with Kurt in a gay bar once or twice and there have always been girls, too. After all, girls could be gay as well. But tonight they seemed to have decided to stay at home.
As Kurt had turned his attention back to the dance floor, Rachel nudged Sam's arm.
"Aren't you a little bit curious?"
Sam turned around and propped his elbows on the table. "I really don't know why I'm so attractive to gay guys. But actually… no. I'd rather kiss girls."
He locked eyes with Rachel whose pulse fastened up. She certainly wouldn't object if she would be one of the girls he'd like to kiss.
"You won't have any luck here. Since there are no girls here, I mean", she said, admiring herself for having thought of an actual pretty smart answer.
"Well, that's not true. I'm looking at one right now", he said.
Rachel couldn't help but giggle. Then she hit him dismissively, acting like that had been really funny. Haha.
But as she glanced back at him a few moments later his lips looked really delicious. She wondered whether he had been serious or just flirting for the fun of it.
"That's it. I'm gonna sit in a corner and drink until I forget I ever existed", Kurt said.
"Oh honey!", Rachel reached over the table to pat his hand. "Why don't you join Blaine on the dance floor?"
"I don't want him to get his hopes up", Kurt said.
"Then don't dance with him. There are like twenty other guys fighting for his attention. Well, he is kind of hot, isn't he?" Rachel let her eyes linger on Blaine for a few moments. Back in High School she had had a crush on him for a week or so because they had kissed during spin-the-bottle. That was ages ago and had been pretty good song writing material but hot boys tended to stay hot boys for a few years.
"Hey, hey!" Kurt snapped his fingers in front of her eyes. "He's gay. Everybody here is gay. Oh. My. God!" Kurt put his hands to his face and Rachel followed his look.
There they were. Girls. Santana and a stranger, to be exact.
As soon as Kurt had recovered from his surprise he pushed his way to her.
"Aaaand there he goes", Rachel sighed, drinking the last sip of her drink. But somehow she wasn't sad about Kurt leaving. She was alone with Sam now and that wasn't too bad.
Although she didn't know what to say either.
"Do you think it's being frowned upon if we go dancing?", Sam finally said.
"Uhm. I don't think anybody would pay attention", Rachel said. "It's not like it's forbidden to be straight here. I guess. I've never tried it, though."
"Well… do you want to?"
Rachel looked at him, at his eyes that could be barely seen under his blonde strands.
"I'd love to", she said.
"Well, then come on." Sam held out his hand and Rachel took it. She let herself be lead to the dance floor and as she started dancing she immediately blinded out everything around her. Well, except Sam and several other men who occasionally joined her. It was so easy to have fun with gay guys because she knew they were in it without having an agenda.
It was inevitable to also meet Blaine there.
"Heyyyy! Guys!" He threw his arms around her. Rachel grinned and hugged him back.
"Are you having fun, yeah?", she asked.
"Oh, yeah! Sam, hey!" Blaine jumped to his best friend who hugged him as willingly as Rachel had. Then Blaine danced next to them for the next song and Rachel was happy it was so easy having a great time with old friends she hadn't seen for months.
Then a slow song started and people were dancing with either eyes closed and immersed in their own world or pairing up for slow dances. Blaine was among the first group, he didn't seem to notice anything anymore. Rachel wondered if he could sleep while dancing. Then she let her eyes meet Sam's who had probably waited for this gesture since he stepped closer and took her hand immediately.
"Do you mind…?"
"No", Rachel said. She placed her hands on his shoulders and snuggled up his chest. It was warm but she didn't mind. His heartbeat was very calming. She felt his hands on her waist and let herself fall into the embrace, moving slowly around the dance floor. It felt like floating and she wouldn't mind if this went on the whole night.
But of course it didn't. It actually ended almost as soon as it had started (or maybe time had gone faster during that song) and they separated as the next song began to play.
"That was nice", Rachel said, putting her hair behind her ear. Her cheeks were warm and that hadn't been the smartest thing to say but oh well.
"Yeah."
"Do you want to take a break from dancing or…?"
"Yeah, okay."
Sam nodded. Rachel smiled at him, wondering if his loss of words was a good or a bad sign. Well, he hadn't pushed her away. Could she dare to kiss him on the cheek or would that be too much?
But he already turned around. A bit disappointed Rachel followed him to their table, wondering where all their friends had gone. Blaine wasn't to be seen anymore, as well as Kurt and Santana.
"I have stopped asking myself why I mostly have gay friends, you know", Rachel started talking as they reached the table. "It has become normal. And in Nyada there are many gay people, too. I really don't know how anyone can have anything against it, I mean, if they don't like it just don't do it, right?"
"Yes, my saying", Sam said. He threw some long looks around. "Where is Blaine gone?"
"Off to dance with somebody, I guess? Or to drink something. He won't be gone far, maybe he's with Kurt and Santana if she's still here after having discovered we are here. Not that she doesn't like us but she seems to search out some independency lately."
Rachel had the feeling that if she stopped talking everything would fall apart. Not literally but sometimes this was what kept her going. Mostly in situations where she felt like people could easily hurt her. Like now. Sam could reject her any time soon.
"Yeah, right… So… do you want to drink something or…?"
"Yes, that would be nice. Let's get more drinks."
Rachel took her empty glass and went to the bar. It was crowded there and she pushed her way through to the front. As she put her glass on it and tried to make eye contact with the bar tender Sam stood next to her. Like real close. One moment she was unsure if it was too much, if he wanted to step away and just couldn't because of all the people around them.
But then he laid his arm around her waist and Rachel relaxed against him. She laid her head back on his shoulder and smiled, happy that he was here.
"Do you like beer?", he asked.
"No. I'm all the way for the girly drinks like cocktails with cherries."
"Alright. One cocktail with cherries." Sam grinned. "No matter the other contents."
"Hmm. Just don't too much alcohol."
"Cocktails with cherries are always with alcohol. They even drown the cherries in it."
"Yes!?" The bar tender shouted at them. Sam leaned forward and ordered a beer and a daiquiri. As they waited for the drinks they didn't talk and Rachel felt dizzy already just because of the closeness. She hadn't avoided boys but she also hadn't had any chance of being with one – as innocent as possible – lately. And she hadn't cared. But it felt nice to feel Sam's warmth on her back, so nice.
The heavenly feeling was broken as they came out of the crowd and Kurt hectically gestured to them.
"Blaine's gone!"
"What!?" Sam immediately put his beer on the next table and turned to the entrance.
Only five minutes later they were hasting down the street. Sam was going a few steps ahead and tipping wildly into his phone while Kurt and Rachel tried to keep up his pace.
"And you are sure he's gone back to the apartment?", he shouted.
"Yes!", Kurt answered. Then he said more quiet to Rachel: "I mean where else could he have gone, right?"
"He could have gone with one of the men, Kurt", she said. "I know he's sensible and would have told us – but why didn't he tell us anyway that he wanted to go? I don't get it."
"He was pretty drunk", Kurt said.
Sam started to run as they turned into the street where they lived. As Kurt and Rachel came to the front door Rachel breathed a sigh of relief, seeing Blaine was here. Sam had buried his nose into his shoulders and didn't seem like he was physical able to let go while Blaine obviously had cried. The make-up he had put on for the night was smeared all over his face.
"Oh boy! Why, Blaine, why didn't you tell us you were going!", Kurt shook his head in annoyance.
Rachel got out her keys and leaned over the boys to open the door. Then she tried to pull Sam up. He reluctantly got up, taking Blaine with him.
As they finally were inside Rachel locked the door for the night. Yawningly she turned to the boys. She was tired but still excited, although the fun part of the night very obviously had ended now.
She put on the kettle and sat down next to Blaine and Sam on the sofa, patting Blaine's knee.
"What happened, darling?"
"Nothing – I just wanted to go home."
"Why didn't you tell anybody?", Sam asked. He had his arm around Blaine who clearly didn't object. His head laid on Sam's shoulder and his eyes stared somewhat tired into the air.
"I couldn't think, I… oh!" He sighed and got up, freeing himself from Sam's arm. As he rubbed over his face he said: "It's silly. I saw you two dancing and… I mean I never had any hopes you could return my feelings, Sam, I just… I never faced the fact that you were straight, too. I just lived in my own little dream world. And after Kurt had told me yesterday that he is absolutely over me I – it was just too much."
Rachel sighed and looked angrily into the directions of Kurt's bedroom section although she knew it wasn't his fault. Maybe it was even more her fault since she had danced with Sam. But it clearly wasn't her 'fault' Sam was straight.
"Oh, Blaine, please don't cry! I thought you were doing so good, dancing with all those men and… wasn't it fun?", Sam said.
"Yes", Blaine quietly said.
"See? You will be over me soon", Sam said.
Rachel got up to prepare three mugs of tea (since Kurt seemed to refuse to participate in the comforting). She brought two to the couch table and then the last one, sitting on Blaine's other side.
"I'm so sorry, Blaine, if I had thought for one moment… I didn't know your feelings for Sam were… oh!" Rachel shook her head, not knowing how to find the right words. Or what she wanted to say for that matter.
"No, please, don't be sorry. Hell, don't even be that nice! Sam!" Blaine hit against Sam's arm. "Why don't you tell me how silly I am to fall in – to like you? Come on, tell me!"
"No! Blaine!" Sam stroke down his best friend's arms that had started to hit him more often. He held them down and leaned forward to look into Blaine's eyes.
"You deserve someone better than me, okay? And you will find someone, I promise."
Blaine laughed disbelievingly. He was interrupted as Sam pressed his mouth against his. Blaine pulled open his eyes and stared at Sam who moved back after a few seconds.
Rachel discreetly looked down on her hands. Things had just gotten awkward. Sam had the best intentions obviously but he should know it wasn't very clever to kiss someone who was in love with you when you didn't return the feelings.
More so when it was your gay best friend and you were straight.
She wondered whether she should go now but didn't dare to move. As she looked up, Blaine still stared at Sam who had let go of him completely.
"That was stupid", he mumbled. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay", Blaine said.
"I just don't want you to be sad, okay? Do you know how guilty I feel if you are sad because of me?"
"It's not your fault."
Rachel pursed her lips and blew her still hot tea.
"Guys… your tea?", she said, mainly to remember them she was still there. And it worked. Blaine cleared his throat and got up.
"Thanks, Rachel, but I'm going to bed. Maybe not on the sofa tonight, uhm…" He glanced around.
Rachel nodded.
"Just use Santana's bed. She won't mind."
"Thanks. Good night", Blaine said. He waved to her and looked at Sam (too heartbroken to make anyone believe he would sleep tonight) and went away.
Rachel knew from experience that whispered conversations on the sofa couldn't be heard in the bedrooms so she kept her voice down.
"That was the most stupid thing you could've done. He just let slip he's in love with you and you kiss him. Do you have any idea how confusing that is for him?"
"He hasn't said any of that kind."
"Oh, yes, he has!"
"Well, anyway", Sam said as he grasped his mug. "If I try I might be able to love him back."
"Oh yeah, you think so? You think it's easy to choose who you love? Even if you just told me a few hours ago you aren't even in the slightest bi-curious?"
Sam simply shrugged. Rachel got up, not sure if she was hurt or rather offended that Sam were more interested in keeping his best friend good spirited than in her. To be fair they weren't involved at all so she hadn't any right to be.
"You know how to extend the sofa, don't you? I'm off to bed, too."
And with that she left.
"So, you were pretty eager to go to bed yesterday", Rachel said to Kurt who was sitting there, drinking his coffee as if everything was as usual.
"I was tired", he said without looking up from the newspaper.
Rachel bit her lip to not say anymore (like how he had missed the best part of the whole night) and went to the coffee machine. From the sofa came a moaning.
"Can I get coffee, too?"
"Only if you get your ass out of bed!", Kurt said.
As Sam came to the kitchen, hair all messy and eyes half closed, Rachel couldn't be mad at him anymore. Such a cutie! And he was so worried about Blaine, it was adorable. He might have not made the best move yesterday but it clearly had been out of desperation.
"Here." She gave him the mug in her hand and maybe touched his fingers more than necessary in doing so.
He smiled at her. "Thanks."
"So, can someone tell me what happened yesterday? Why was my night ruined?"
Rachel turned around to glance reproachfully at Kurt. Before she could snap at him Blaine's voice said:
"Sorry, Kurt. It won't happen again."
"I highly doubt that. Well, what did happen?"
Blaine got to the coffee machine and took a mug to pour himself a coffee.
"I was drunk and being a drama-queen. You know me", he said.
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Can you be more unspecific?"
"No, that was as unspecific as it gets. Sam, can we talk?" Blaine gestured to the side and Sam nodded. As they went away, Rachel leaned on the table and glared at Kurt.
"It's your own fault, you know. If you had stayed to comfort poor Blaine you would know."
"Poor Blaine who ran away like a child that didn't get his candy? Because I bet anything it had to do with Sam."
Rachel shrugged, said "maybe" and finally got herself a coffee.
Kurt gave a frustrated sigh and put the newspaper in front of his face. Rachel looked to Santana's bedroom section. Blaine had probably thought about the kiss the whole night. But that couldn't be what he wanted to talk about now… was it?
"Drama queen, alright", Kurt muttered. "Even more than I am."
Rachel sat down and glanced out of the window. It was quiet for some time with hushed voices coming from Blaine and Sam. Until they got louder.
"No! I refuse to!", Sam said. He stormed out behind the curtains and began making his bed. Blaine followed somewhat more attentive, rubbing his hand over his arms.
"It's for the best", he said, standing a few feet away from Sam and clearly trying to keep his voice down.
Rachel tried to look busy with her coffee and such things, while Kurt put down his newspaper and glanced into their direction.
"Just until it's over and… you know. Everything is normal again", Blaine said. Sam stopped in his movements and turned around.
"So you're saying because you love me we have to live separately. No, that's not illogical at all."
"If I may say something…" Alright, Rachel couldn't hold back. Well, they shouldn't argue in the middle of her loft if they didn't want interventions.
"I think Blaine's proposal is very thoughtful and sensitive. Not to live together in New York, I mean. You could still live close to each other, but move in together? No." She shook her head.
"Well, nobody asked you!", Sam snapped.
"You're acting very unfair right now", Rachel said before Blaine or Kurt started to talk at the same time.
Eventually Blaine shouted how he would go live in the dorm rooms of Nyada and Sam couldn't change his mind before vanishing in Santana's section again. Sam stripped over his sweater and jeans and left the loft, door slamming behind him.
"Oh god!" Kurt threw his hands in the air. "And I thought living with Santana was a living hell!"
A few minutes later Blaine came back, dressed and hair gelled. Good schoolboy outfit.
"I am so sorry you had to witness that", he said.
"Oh, no. It was entertaining", Kurt said. He pointed to his newspapers. "Better than that."
"I'm glad you find my misery so fascinating", Blaine said.
"Why don't you want to live with Sam? In a logical world he would be the one pulling out after you are crushing on him."
"I can't take it anymore", Blaine said. "I need some distance. He can never love me back, and I can't get over him if we're living together."
"Oh. Well… that sounds… actually healthy." Kurt pulled an impressed face.
As Sam came back he apologized to them, too, although he didn't look at Blaine.
Rachel feared that the happy ending of this story was either very far away or long gone. Sam and Blaine packed their bags and loaded them into Kurt's car.
Only half an hour later they were at the airport.
"Well, this has been catastrophic", Sam said as he sat down on his suitcase. Blaine and Kurt were at the counter to get last minute tickets for a plane to Lima while Rachel looked at the time schedule.
"I'm sorry. I feel somewhat guilty", Rachel said. "After all we danced and that was what…" He bit her lip and shrugged.
"It's no one's fault. If Blaine feels that strongly if had to happen sooner or later", Sam said, staring into the direction of the other boys. "Things had to escalate. I'm just sorry that… Well, it ruined every chance I had with you, didn't it?"
Rachel smirked at the time schedule, suppressed it and turned around. At least he talked about it now. That was more than she had dared to hope for.
"Sam", she said, putting a hand on his shoulder. He got up and took her hand into his.
"Maybe if you come live in New York in a few months… who knows?", she said. She didn't want to say she would wait for him or anything, no, surely not. But if he would be around more often maybe she could fall in love with him. Maybe.
"Yeah, I'm not sure about that."
"Well, you let me know, okay?" She stroke over his hair, it was as soft as she had imagined.
Sam came one more step closer and returned the gesture. Rachel half closed her eyes, enjoying the light touch. As he moved his hand to caress her cheek, she opened her eyes to look into his for a few endless moments. Eventually he leaned forward and tasted her lips.
As sad as it was, what felt like the beginning was the end. They smacked their lips together lightly for a few seconds and then pulled back. Rachel felt like hypnotized, wanting to explore him more. But time was running out and it generally just wasn't meant to be.
She didn't say anything and he didn't, too, as they separated completely and waited for Kurt and Blaine's return. From then on everything went on in a blur, the search for the check-in and all that waving goodbye and a longing look from Sam before he went past security and…
They were gone.
The end