Prologue

Niall's pov
I'm lying on the lounge at my girlfriend Shantelle's house. She's lying on the opposite couch to me; I can tell that she doesn't want to be around me. I know this because it's been a month since the tour ended. And for the past two weeks she hasn't talked to me, I spent the first two weeks at home. Although I still haven't seen my own parents since the tour did finish, I haven't seen them for ages now. But, you know, I don't even know what I did wrong –I mean I don't know why Shantelle's not talking to me. So me, being the amazing and loveable boyfriend that I am. Seeing as though I love her with all my heart – she's my entire world, my princess. I've spent the entire time at her house with her although she won't talk to me, I'm hoping that soon enough she'll give in and talk to me again. You know, I haven't even talked to my best friends –Louis, Liam, Harry and Zayn – not because I don't want to but because I know for a fact that they'll probably ruin my relationship with Shantelle if they knew, maybe not Louis so much but the others might. I haven't even been on twitter or any of those other media sites –Facebook, tumblr- I think you get the point. To be honest I'm too scared to go on there, what if….what if my own Directioners aren't talking to me? And, you know, that's another reason why I won't tell anyone that Shantelle's not talking to me, because I'm scared that maybe they already know and that maybe it was my fault… I'm all alone; I don't know what to do. So I did what I do best, what I've been doing since everyone's been ignoring me. I got up, walked to the kitchen and grabbed a knife that has a really sharp blade. Gently pressing the blade down on my wrist I cut it, lifting up the knife I watched the blood that poured out, I couldn't help it. I stood there for a while just watching the blood after a while blood now surrounded me on the floor; I figured that it'd be best to clean it up before someone walked in and stumbled upon it. After cleaning up my mess and washing the knife I headed upstairs to clean myself up. I overhead Shantelle and Paul on the phone the other day, he organised so show for us to attend- I don't know much about it I only know that me and the lads have to be there though. Although, he never actually told me about it. I didn't think much of it, you know how busy he is- anyway he probably figured that Shantelle would tell me.

After a shower I got dressed into my white shirt, my grey hoodie and my black jeans. I put on a pair of grey vans- they were the only shoes that I could actually find in Shantelle's room. I have my own cupboard here. Looking out the window I could see Louis' car in the driveway, I started to walk down the stairs but I stopped halfway because I could hear Shantelle and Louis talking.
"Louis…" I heard Shantelle say. "I need you to promise me that you won't tell anyone."
"I promise." I heard Louis reply.
"I'm….." I heard Shantelle start but she paused. "I'm pregnant."
"Have you…." I heard Louis reply. "When did you find out?"
"Two weeks ago."
Is this…. Why she won't talk to me? It all makes sense now. I walked back upstairs into Shantelle's room, I didn't want to be rude and listen in to anymore of their conversation. I'm not going to make a big deal out of this, I mean, surely she'll tell me when she's ready. Wont she? After a good 3 minutes I took a deep breath before walking downstairs, this time I actually made it to the lounge room where Shantelle and Louis are.
"I'm going to stay here and wait for Eleanor and Danielle. We have to do something first." I heard Shantelle say.
"I'll be in the car." I told them.
Louis nodded. "Alright then."

Shantelle arrived with Eleanor and Danielle; she was wearing the hoodie that I gave her. It made me smile, seeing those three classy girls in line with our Directioners for the concert. Shantelle's never been afraid of the flickering cameras, she's brave. She's never even missed a single concert since she became my girlfriend –we've been dating for exactly 2 years this time next week. I watched as Paul gave them their backstage passes, they then proceeded to our room. I looked around the room, it was quite, no-one was talking to each other which is somewhat unusual. But, I wasn't going to be the one to try and break the ice so I followed Liam and Louis outside to meet our girlfriends. Liam hugged Danielle as Louis met Eleanor halfway. I looked at Shantelle; I couldn't help but smile at her, just seeing her makes me smile. Looking into her eyes I could see the pain in her eyes. I was going to kiss her just like I'd always done before every concert starts but seeing as though she's not talking to me I wasn't going to push it.
I walked towards her and whispered "I miss you, babe. More than you'll ever know."
She crossed her arms against her chest, as if she was mad at me.
"Please talk to me. Tell me what I did wrong, baby we can fix this, I can fix this. Just, please…" I told her.
She motioned as if she was in chills. She must've felt cold, I wanted to give her a hug and make her warm like how I would when we were talking but I didn't want to push that either.

We're out on stage now, it was Liam who started the song, I mean not because he wanted to our anything but because we all decided that he would start this particular song.
"Am I asleep, am I awake, or somewhere in between?
I can't believe that you are here and lying next to me.
Or did I dream that we were perfectly entwined?
Like branches on a tree, or twigs caught on a vine?" Liam sang, the crowd went wild but not as noisy as before, it was like there was something missing.
I stared at Shantelle in the front row who was holding her glow stick, she wasn't waving it around, she was staring at it. Which was really unusual because she was always so excited when it came to our concerts.
"Like all those days and weeks and months I tried to steal a kiss
and all those sleepless nights and daydreams where I pictured this,
I'm just the underdog who finally got the girl.
And I am no ashamed to tell it to the world." I heard Louis who was on my right and Harry who was on my left sing. Louis looked at me as if to say 'dude that was your solo and you just missed it.' But I didn't mind all that much.
Right there, in front of my eyes, I saw Shantelle finally break down after they both sang my solo. I wanted to jump off stage, walk up to her and hold her in my arms. I would have done so if we were talking but, because we're not I'm too scared to kiss her, or even hug her because she might breakup with me and I really don't want that. Maybe the song must have gotten to her, is it to…. Emotional?
"Truly, madly, deeply, I am.
Foolishly, completely falling.
And somehow you kicked all my walls in.
So baby, say you'll always keep me.
Truly, madly, crazy, deeply in love with you.
In love with you." Harry sang, he did such a sensational job.
"Should I put coffee and granola on a tray in bed.
And wake you up with all the words that I still haven't said?
And tender touches, just to show you how I feel.
Or should I act so cool like it was no big deal?" Liam sang, just like Harry, Liam also did a wonderful job.
"Wish I could freeze this moment in a frame and stay like this.
I'll put this day back on replay and keep reliving it.
'Cause here's the tragic truth if you don't feel the same.
My heart would fall apart if someone said your name." Zayn sang just as Liam finished. Zayn was like all the others, he did an excellent job.
I looked to Shantelle who was still crying, she didn't even look up when we all sang:
"And truly, madly, deeply, I am.
Foolishly, completely falling.
And somehow you kicked all my walls in.
So baby, say you'll always keep me.
Truly, madly, crazy, deeply in love with you."
"I hope I'm not a casualty,
I hope you won't get up and leave.
Might not mean that much to you.
But to me it's everything, everything." Louis sang, and what a wonderful job he did. I couldn't help but smile at how proud I was off my four best friends.
"Truly, madly, deeply, I am.
Foolishly, completely falling.
And somehow you kicked all my walls in.
So baby, say you'll always keep me.
Truly, madly, crazy deeply in love,
in love, with you.
With you.
In love, in love.
With you, with you.
In love, in love.
With you, with you.
With you, oh!" We all sang together.
I could hear people crying all around me, I looked at Shantelle she was still crying, I turned to Louis who was also crying, I turned to look at Harry and Zayn who were both also crying. Did the song that I wrote for Shantelle, was it…. really that sad?
"I know it's hard for all of us, but we have to continue what we started. And for Shantelle to stay strong. We miss him too, in loving memory of our mate, Niall James Horan." Louis, Liam, Harry and Zayn all said together as they held each other's hands.