Merp. Just an Idea that popped into my head inbetween Essays and upcoming chapters for other stories. Let me know what you think of this and yeah. Im excited but I am finishing a busy semester and I don't know when my next update for any story will be at the moment. BUT MAKE SURE TO COMMENT RATE AND SUBSCRIBE!
Freedomwriter2010
ChapterOne.
Death. Death, something so tragic, something that caused so much pain and brought so much darkness to the world around us. Yet, here she lay, so beautiful. Her hair, in tousled waves, waves that I loved running my hands through every night while loving every inch of her mind, body and soul. Dressed in white, just like our wedding day, contrasting against her skin. Her skin that looked so beautiful and vibrant once- looked so ashy and pale now.
Her eyelids shut, and her face in a blank yet peaceful expression. She truly looked at peace, beautiful as ever- forever and always.
The agony that swam to the center of my heart consumed me, and the tears that seemed to trail down my cheeks were the reminders that my beautiful wife, my best friend, my love. And, the mother to my child lay still in front of me, the soul that once used to lie within her, gone. Now all I had was the life, memories and warmth she had given me in previous years.
The flame that once burned was now nothing but the past. The fire was out.
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3 Years Earlier…
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"Rose if you do not get out of bed this instant, World War 3 is going to happen Missy." I could hear her voice, did I want to? Not really.
"Lissa" I mumbled into the pillow. " If you want to see tomorrow, I suggest running away right now." I told her. Instead of heeding my words though I could hear her giggle and come to the side of me and sit on the bed. Her delicate hand coming to play with my messy hair.
" Rose, I know you are upset, devastated even, although, I don't know why he really was trash.." Groaning in response, she stopped and cleared her throat. "Anyway, I know you're upset, but moping around is not how you deal with a break up. You need to get up, shower, do your makeup and get dressed and get back out there. Do not let him take you out!" Patting my backside I felt her get off the bed and head to the door.
"When I get home from work I expect you to be up and not like a limp noodle under the covers." Hearing the click of the door confirming my best friend had left I flopped over onto my back to stare at the ceiling. I was a disaster.
Closing my eyes all I could replay was last night's fiasco. What I thought would've been the best night of my light ended up being the worst night of my life, well that's what it felt like at the moment
. Flashback.
"Adrian where are we headed?" I asked hanging onto his arm. He had been acting weird all night and his actions had made me nervous. We were currently walking to what I believe had been our first dates location almost three years ago.
" My Rose, you are quite impatient are you not?' He told me quietly, using my first name which caused me to become a little bit more nervous.
"Well you are not usually the quiet type Adrian, usually we head out somewhere a little more public than this. Is this not the first park we had our ice cream date in almost two years ago, I was eighteen we had just moved here?" I asked nudging his side.
Laughing quietly he nodded. "It is Rose, I am surprised you still remember all the details." Stopping us, Adrian led me over to a bench and sat down gesturing for me to sit as well.
Carefully sitting in the dress I wore on this hot summer night, all I could hear was the birds and feel the sun as it started to set, all in all it was really a romantic setting, and definitely somewhere I always pictured us getting engag-. " I don't think this is working our Rose." Adrian's voice brought me from my thoughts.
Wait..What? Turning my head to look at him, his head was hung and he was fiddling with his fingers.
"I'm sorry.. What did you say?" I asked almost in a whisper, not really trusting my voice or my ears for that matter of fact. He turned to me, his eyes holding almost a look of guilt in them.
"Rose, I know we have been together for almost four years, and I'm sorry for this, because I truly did love you, and I still do love you… but I'm not in love with you anymore.." He told me.
It was like everything had stopped. The birds were silent and the sun was starting to turn into a purple and pink sky instead of the bright shining rays that were just there.
Swallowing heavily, I looked away from him trying to process what just happened. What was happening! I had thought that I was going to marry this boy. Even at 20 years old, I was sure that I would've married him – this is why we had come here!
"Please tell me this is a joke Adrian?" I said, the tears building in my eyes making them mix with my makeup bringing a stinging sensation over my eyes.
His heavy sight told me the answer I did not want to hear. That was all it took for the dam to break. Standing up, I felt my chest aching. I couldn't be here anymore, the last four years had been with someone who lost their love for me along the way. It had been a joke. But I needed to know.. why?
Stopping my steps forward, I turned around the fresh hot tears on my cheeks.
"Why, tell me why? Did I do something wrong? I mean, I moved to California with you Adrian all the way from Turkey when I was eighteen years old. I've loved you since I was sixteen years old!" Putting my hand over my mouth to stifle a sob, I could hear the pavement crunch under his dress shoes. And suddenly his arms were around me. Feeling like I had just been burned I pushed him away, watching him stumble a little.
"Don't touch me." Looking everywhere other than him, I felt like I was suffocating. I had to leave.
"I met someone Rose." Setting my eyes on him now I could feel the rage build suddenly under the despair.
"You've been cheating on me!? You, Adrian Ivashkov are a real piece of work. " I screeched.
"I met her a year ago when I started the modelling campaign with Diesel. And I tried, I promise I tried to stay away from her. But it was like I connected with her that was so, so different than us. Im so sorry Rose, please forgive me." He took a step forward causing me to step back.
"Im going to go back to the loft, I'm going to pack my things and you are not to come back until later when I am not there you understand me?" I told him, my voice cracking and I think in my face it showed because he nodded and looked away.
"I really did love you Rose, I'm sorry." He told me before turning around and walked away from me.
..
"UGH." Kicking my covers off I looked over at the alarm clock that daintily sat on the white end table of Lissa's guest bedroom. 2:30pm. I had been in bed since 9pm last night crying and how Lissa said – moping. But I genuinely was upset. I thought that I was going to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend who had let me travel half way around the world for him. I had travelled from Turkey with him and this is how I was repaid? I had followed like a love sick puppy. I had gone against my parents words, defied them and left.
What would my mother say now? 'I told you so.' Would probably be the first thing from her mouth. My dad. He would probably be infuriated by the fact that he had helped me and Adrian financially set ourselves up, only to have this boy take advantage..
That's what this had been. I helped him to where he wanted to be and then I was as good as the dirt on his shoes. I had come here with my broken English and found a job to be a hostess in a steakhouse + bar. The tips were amazing, and that's also how I had met Lissa, who was taking a year or two away from school to save up to go back. I was able to pay rent for Adrian and I to live in a beautiful one bedroom apartment and didn't need to ask my father to continue to pay for us.
With a heavy sigh I sat up and placed my face into the palms of my hands, contemplating my next move. Should I move back to Turkey? I was young, perhaps my parents would help me figure something out. I had never really thought about what I had wanted to do after highschool. I knew Adrian wanted to pursue his career in modelling, and being a brand ambassador, and I knew he would have no problem with the way he looked. Adrian really was model material, and I even thought he had a good heart..
Moving back to Turkey would mean leaving Lissa here. The friends I had made at the steakhouse, the life I had created here for myself. What did I really want in life though? I hadn't thought about school, or a career choice I wanted to pursue. I had always thought of becoming a teacher. I loved working with the children back home- maybe that was something I could pursue here. My parents would surely be pleased to know I wanted to get an American education or just an education as all.
Picking my cellphone up off the table beside me I took a look at the unopened texts and missed calls. Adrian. Turning my phone over I stood up letting my feet press against the coolness of the hardwood floor. Staring at my reflection across from the bed I looked at the girl whose hair was a mess, tear streaks down her face- a girl who looked broken. Taking the sleeve of my pajama's I wiped the streaks from my cheeks and grabbed my hair twirling it into a topknot. The girl in the mirror suddenly looked more appealing than three minutes ago.
Taking a deep breath I collected myself and walked out of the room into the apartment. Lissa had a beautiful apartment. When her parents passed away when she was sixteen, her and her brother inherited trust funds to each of them. Her brother Andre lived in his own apartment with his fiancée, and she lived here. Her boyfriend Christian, whom she had known since she was thirteen, did not live with her, but I suspected that very soon he would. Until then though, I knew she would never let me be homeless or let me even think about living alone. That was the beautiful thing about Lissa. She had a heart of gold and a beautiful personality. She really was an angel that seemed to always be saving me from the wonders of the world.
Her apartment was relatively quiet except for the sound of her cat Oscar lapping away at his water dish situated in the dining area, allowing me to realise where NOT to go. I had never been one to get along with animals. They were terrified of me, or usually had attitude, and I just stayed clear to save my own self. Even back in Turkey, my brother's dog usually steered clear of me when he brought him on his visits.
I just did not have the animal gene.
Tonight was Thursday, which meant it was my day off. Unfortunately Lissa had to work on Thursdays but we always made time to hang outside of work. Tomorrow we both had a shift on a Friday night as a special dinner was being held for business representatives visiting from Russia, making an official deal with a major company here. Our boss, Stan, was crazy about this and everything had to be perfect, so this whole ordeal I was going through would definitely have to be on pause tomorrow, and I had to make sure my work performance was A+.
Deciding to make a sandwich, I grabbed all the necessary ingredients from the refrigerator and cupboards. Food was a great way to heal the pain, and of course a way to my heart. I was a food fanatic, literally someone could put a plate of food in front of me, and I would fall in love with them. Connecting my Spotify to the Bluetooth speakers that were over the apartment I blasted some music to drown my thoughts of Adrian out.
My day had ended up being very busy. In preparations for Lissa coming home tonight knowing she had been worried about me, I decided to clean the room I would be staying in and clean up the rest of her house. Putting all my clothing away from my suitcase and folding them, and also setting my vanity up, it really did help pass the time and I never thought that I would be cleaning and organizing. I know, shocking I could barely believe it myself. Tucking the luggage into the closet bottom, I took a look around at the picture frames I had grabbed from my old apartment of me and Lissa and Adrian, and me and Adrian alone. I didn't have the heart to tear them up or light them on fire. Of course I was heartbroken, and angry, and just an emotional mess- but I had been friends with him. I had a relationship before I was romantically involved and I would love to keep him around as a friend as much as I hated his guts at the moment and as cliché as that sounded. Lissa probably wouldn't like it but I'd have to talk to her and get her to try and understand.
Washing the dishes by hand, even though she had a dishwasher, I stood there humming and thinking back to how I would stand with Alberta, my house keeper when I was younger and do the dishes with her. My mom was barely home and although our relationship seemingly got better when I moved to America, Alberta had been the woman to raise me majorly and be there through the rough times, and the times I needed to be educated, example, sexual education and menstruation. I did miss being at home, but I liked being so independent, paying my own bills and not relying on my parents. My father was one of the richest men in Turkey, scratch that, one of the top five richest men in the whole world and if I had ever wanted something I got it. As nice as that sounds, it was not a blessing to be called "the spoiled" child of Abe and Janine. I was able to have my own title here where no one knew who my father was unless in the corporate world. I was able to show the men in my life, whoever came along that I didn't want to depend on them or my parents.
Adrian had taken advantage of my money it seems, and helping him set up in another country, and no one else would ever get to do that.
Looking at the time, I decided that Lissa would be home at 10, and as late as it was now, 7pm, I was able to have a couple hours to myself and take a bath. Grabbing the lavender scented candles from our bathroom closet in the hall, the lighter I headed into the bathroom to light them up and start the water.
I hadn't been able to relax in ages, and now I would have time to be alone with my thoughts and redirect myself. Putting my hairband to keep my loose hairs up and out of the water, I shimmied out of my pajamas and dropped them on the floor of the bathroom, walking to the tub filled with the warm liquid to sooth my body and soul.
Slowly lowering myself into the tub I could help but let a relaxed sigh escape from between my chapped lips. My muscles were so tense, even moreso than I realised. Leaning my head back onto the cushion that rested for my head and closed my eyes. Images of Adrian flooded across my eyes though, I had never thought that the one person I thought loved me would betray me. He made me feel like I didn't have a purpose. What was my purpose? Would I be someone people could walk all over in life? I wanted to be there for someone and not have them treat me like trash in the end. I had Lissa, but I knew that I had to be meant for someone..right? Silent tears streamed down again, but I knew that in time my heart would mend, maybe not now but one day and one day, I would be able to know what I was meant to do in someone else life other than fund them to travel from a foreign country to America. Taking a deep breath, I calmed myself, taking deep breaths feeling the stillness of the water of the tub.
The next moment that happened startled me as hands grasped my arms. My eyes flying open, I was met with a frantic pair of jade green eyes. Lissa.
"Rose oh my god." In her clothes she was holding me against her, my bare skin wet against her clothing, imprinting my body's shape into her dress.
"You scared me half to death! Why were you asleep in the tub! Do you know how dangerous that is!?" Pulling away from her I smiled at her face letting a small chuckle escape.
Her face contorted into frustration. "why do you find this funny? I thought you had killed yourself or something!" She half yelled half cried. Lissa had always been an emotional person, well for the years I had known her.
Standing up, I grabbed the towel off the hook, aware that I was in the nude standing in front of Lissa, but I had no shame we had gone skinny dipping here before as well, we were not shy people..well I wasn't at least. Lissa on the other hand was, and the blush spread across her cheeks told everyone that she was a shy person.
"Im sorry Lissa, I mustve been so relaxed I fell asleep again. I had been doing things around your apartment all day for when you got home, I didn't mean to scare you, I really am sorry." I told her stepping out of the water and embracing her again. Feeling her arms wrap around me gave me reassurance that I was forgiven.
Looking at me Lissa gave me a smile before walking out of the bathroom. " Come on, lets eat some ben and jerry's and watch Grey's Anatomy. Lets have a chill night before tomorrow. We have to be on perfect mode." Smiling at her I nodded.
"Lett me change and Ill be right out!" I told her heading down the hall.
"Hey Rose?" Turning around I looked at Lissa. " Yessss?"
"Youre going to be okay, I can feel it." She told me winking. Laughing I nodded my head again. " I know Lissa, I will be I have you." Sticking my tongue out I walked into my room to change and get ready for a night of mr. Mcdreamy.
TO BE CONTINUED.