Heyo! I just thought I'd make something relating to the moods I've been in so this is what I came up with, hope you enjoy! :)
Chapter 1
Sonic's P.O.V.
Life. A hard core assumption of reality. Or at least in my case it is. I guess I'm depressed though I wouldn't say that I'm badly depressed.
I guess things aren't as bright as they used to be. I think I'm finally facing reality the world that is cold. The truth, I cant believe I was so stupid lost in a land of eternal happiness.
Look at the results of that land. I'm glad I woke up, I'm glad that my eternal happiness has faded although some days I wish I could catch one last glimpse of that.
One last ounce of happiness to piece me together again. To bad that me has been lost a long time back. Looking at my wrists makes me more depressed.
I've gone emo, I remember how I used to taunt Shadow about being emo even if he wasn't. I now realize that I was very rude, very mean because that's the person I am today.
I guess I didn't understand it back then. The important thing is that I do know. I can take a guess at who I want to be, but then Id be lieing to myself.
A small uttered sigh escaped my peach lips as I looked at my cut up wrists. I know its not healthy but, it seems to be working for me.
I have cuts running down my right arm and some running down my left thigh. Its really easy to hide, I just wear my favorite jacket with my headphones and some shorts that are long enough to cover my cuts but show my remaining skin.
Only my friend Jake knows about my condition, we got into a fight yesterday and he hit me, so I yelled at him to leave although he said he didn't mean it , it sure felt like he meant it.
We fought because of my depression, he said and I quote; "your wearing that fake smile to well, it's like your gone..."
I dont understand what he meant by " your wearing that fake smile to well," but the rest was pretty clear to me. I dont know who I am anymore either...
I look as if I'm in jail right now the way I glumly sit in my dark room. The bars on my window shadow and cave in making me look like I really am in prison.
Nobody understands the dark I'm dealing with even as I'm in the light. I guess that's just my problem though isin't it?
I guess I'm on my own in this battle. I guess depression really is like war, you either win, or die trying. Preferably I'd want to die trying, I no longer want this existence.
Why should I want existence, if existence itself doesn't want me?
That should be a quote one day. For the good of the people of course. Though I'm not the same there's a part of me trying to pull me into the light once again.
So far my walls have not faltered. I personally hope they don't anyway. I prefer myself in the reality rather than out of it. I guess that's just me talking but I can never be sure anymore.
Slowly my eyes began to close and before you knew it my mind was no longer running, and I had fallen into a deep, deep sleep.
-IN THE MORNING-
(still Sonic's P.O.V. )
I groaned my eyes fluttering open as I stood up off the floor stretching in the process. Looking at the clock I squinted and noticed my clock had stopped again.
For some strange reason my clock stops at 4:28 in the morning every morning so to be honest, I don't know why I even bother looking at the clock in the first place.
I think it's just a habit. I looked at my arm only to see the fresh wounds from last night were done bleeding and irritatingly red. (I know I didn't talk about that but just bare with me OK.)
With a sigh I went to my bathroom looked in the mirror only to see what's left of me. The person who is no longer whole anymore.
My eyes were crusty from crying earlier that day. I had dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep, my cheeks were a little swollen , and in other words I looked like hell.
I started the water deciding that a bath would be better than a shower today. I like the little weirdo I am put some bubble bath in there just to play with.
Besides it's my time to enjoy a part of my day. I slipped into my warm bath as soon as I was undressed grabbing some shampoo Tails made specifically for me.
I ran my bony fingers through my quills the shampoo sudzing up my quills. The bubbles soon went from white to red from the body wash I used on my well, body.
This wasn't the first time blood soaked into the bubbles, I suppose it's from my wounds though so it really don't bother.
When I got out the bathtub walls were full of blood , my blood to be exact. I wrapped the towel around my waist and walked into my room searching for a pair of shorts to wear.
I had a Kool-Aid shirt lay-ed out on my bed along with my favorite sweater, all I needed were my shorts. If I could find them that is.
After finally finding my shorts I got dressed shoes and all, and ran out the door putting my headphones on my ears.
The first song I played was The war against ourselves by Joel Faviere. The song matched my mood it was also my second favorite song.
began to mumble/sing, the lyrics as I ran;
" Another day alone,
Another night, another knife, I guess I'm on my own,
the lights are on my eyes are closed, and no one understands, the dark I'm dealing with,
And all the people in my life are way to bind to see the vice,
All these scars~,
All these scars,
From the war against ourselves, the war against ourselves,
All these scars~,
All these scars!
From the war against ourselves,
I'm living in a hell, its what is real
Real...
Oh, I don't wanna go anymore,
I know that your confused, I've been there once, I've been there twice,
The third I didn't choose, I guess I'm born to loose, the ones that break you down,
They look so cool, that's why I always break the fuckin' rules, my synchronized wounds,
Al these scars~
All these scars!
From the war against ourselves, the war against ourselves!
All these scars~
All these scars!
From the war against ourselves!
I'm living in a hell that's what is real.
They break me down! I cant block the sound so I turn to the one thing that I know will not let me down!
People don't, think to ask what's wrong, I stop and go to beat of the broken flow in blood~
All these scars~
All these scars,
From the war against myself,
I'm a walking hell~
I wont starve~
Myself of the dark~
Listen to me scream and shout but, do not say a word~"
I ended the song smiling lightly, it wasn't a real smile but it was a smile. The second song I played was to make me seem happy when I met up with Tails and the others in about fifteen minutes.
I played Midnight City by M38 enjoying the faint voices in the song I had played. Humming as I ran to the park where I had promised to meet my friends.
Finally I had got there not surprised to see my shady rival sitting right in that exact spot. I said nothing to him but I sat next to him my music blasting in my ears.
Shadow pushed me away from him but as soon as his hand touched my right arm I yelped in pain tears brimming my eyes.
His gaze snapped towards me and he laughed cruelly. "I didn't even hit you that hard faker!" he snickered out. My gaze dropped to the floor nothing coming out of my mouth.
Not a sound, not anything. Shadow punched my right arm harder grinning as he did so. He must have enjoyed seeing me in pain cause he laughed when I yelped.
I let a few small tears slip but wiped them immediately before he could make fun of me for them. Just when he was going to try something again Tails ran up to me smiling.
"Hey Sonic!" I greeted him with a smile, even if it pained me to do so. " Hey lil' buddy!" Tails hugged me and I hugged back seeing the others heading our way.
"What did you guys need?" I asked loosening my grip and letting go of Tails. " We'll explain in a minute, but what were you and Shadow doing? since you guys were the first ones here,"
I glanced at Shadow before allowing my mouth to open and let the words slowly pour out, "Just chillin'."
Tails shook his head "sure you were," I fake pouted crossing my arms over my chest " shut up." Tails laughed sitting in between me and Shadow which made me relieved.
The others came and sat by me only one person was missing. Rouge. "Um now's probably not the best time but where's Rouge?"
Knuckles eyes widened and he then got angry " that no good bat is going to steal my master emerald!" I sweat dropped 'oh knuckles'.
Suddenly someone fell from the tree above Knuckles and landed on his shoulders covering his eyes with their hands "guess who Knuckie~"
" Get off me Rouge!" Knuckles snapped. "Your no fun!" she bickered back. Shadow and I sweat dropped at the way they argued.
They bicker like an old married couple which I guess me and Shadow both think is weird. "Anyways," Tails started making them be quiet for a moment.
"Sonic, your Birthday is coming up soon and-" My eyes widened slightly I had completely forgot about my birthday, my own birthday!
"Tails I forgot," I laughed. Tails snickered "looks like the birthday boy needed this reminder," Shadow's ear perked as he looked at me and Tails.
"I wanted to tell you I'm going to get your sister into town!, she'll be here in a day or so, she wants to be here for a little while, after all your birthday is in three days and she did say she wanted some time alone with you."
I chuckled, Sonia wanted to spend time with me, for the first time in a long time.
An hour or so later we al left and I could finally stop wearing my fake smile I could be real. I was at home preparing for Sonia's arrival.
I also had to clean the guest bedroom so that's what I did until night time. Like the usual night routine I had I went to my room brought out my blade and cut.
Plunging the razor deep with in my thighs. Just until I could no longer feel the pain. Just until my leg was numb.
-THE NEXT DAY SONIA ARRIVES-
"Sonic?!" she said running up to me and hugging me. I smiled hugging her back. "Its been a while Sonia," she kissed my cheek and let go smiling, a real smile.
"I missed you so much!" she said. " Well duh! who wouldn't miss Sonic the hedgehog!?" I joked she hit me on the arm playfully before laughing.
Sonia grabbed my right arm, the one with the freshest wounds causing me to yelp in glanced at my arm before grabbing it immediately and rolling up my sleeve.
Sonia's eyes filled with tears as she looked at my arm. " It's not what it looks like..." I murmured. " why have y-you done t-this to yourself?"
She started sobbing clenching her fists. " I'm sorry I h-haven't been here f-for you!" she managed to sob out.
"Sonia its not your fault..."
I so wish I wasnt born right now...
GRRRRRRR I HATE THIS COPY PASTE CRAP