Shizune wanted a child, badly. Oh, she'd dated a handful of times since returning to Konoha, but she knew what they'd seen in her: married to the job. Genma had even gone so far as to suggest her relationship with Tsunade more literally fit that phrase, but when asked to say it again he quickly and quietly left Ramen Ichiraku. To be fair though, there was no one like Tsunade; Shizune guessed that on some level she wanted someone like her, just... male.

Probably shouldn't have threatened to cut him while I was holding a chopstick. But I think I deserve a Jules Winfield moment every now and then... Thought Shizune, as she studied the textbook. To most people gene splicing would be one of the most boring of subjects, but to her it was the most daring and complex of puzzles. On innumerable occasions she'd considered pulling a Kabuto and grafting the D.N.A. of multiple Konoha ninja into her own- but she'd shown a bit of self control and stopped at one, otherwise some very uncomfortable attention might have been turned on her. Of course she'd wanted Naruto's, but Tsunade kept him so busy Shizune couldn't get a hold of him. She had gotten to Ken Kenko, however. The Kenko clan had the extraordinarily mundane and useful bloodline limit of getting the maximum nutrional benefit of whatever they ate- dirt, chips, hummus, anything. Ken was a minor celebrity within the clan, being born with immense strength and the height of his clan's bloodline limit. So after a surprise "check-up" she drew his blood and then began the D.N.A. therapy.

But at last, peace had settled over the Five Great Nations, and Naruto wasn't busy. There would be plenty of time to fit in a "doctor's appointment". And as she thought about having a child, those ideas wandered over and pointed a finger at Naruto. "His smile," They whispered. "His strength, and his vitality; imagine..." The sibilant susurrus said, "His arms wrapped around you. Imagine... him INSIDE you..." Shizune spent several moments doing just that, until she caught herself. She realized that not only was she okay with it, but that she'd wanted it for quite some time. He's dead set on Sakura, though. I have zero chance of getting him alone. Ah, his D.N.A. Wait, his D.N.A.- I, of course! I will have Naruto, all to myself! Shizune hastily scribbled down a few notes, then laughed as the thunder crashed behind her in an unnecessarily dramatic fashion.

~oOo~

"Hello, anybody in here? This is the room, right?" Naruto poked his head in, and saw Shizune poring over tiny, dense lines of writing on pad paper. "Hey, Shizune!"

"Oh! I didn't hear you come in, Naruto. Just have a seat there on the table and we'll get started." Naruto nodded and did so, smiling. "Jacket, please."

"Huh?"

"Your jacket; I can't get a good reading of your blood pressure while you're wearing it."

"D'oh, forgot..." Naruto quickly unzipped his black and orange jacket, and tossed it in the tableside chair. Underneath he was simply wearing a black tank top instead of his usual mesh shirt. The sleeve was strapped on and pumped up, the needle dancing on the dial until Shizune had the numbers. She put the sleeve back in the drawer, and rested her hands on Naruto's shoulders to begin her diagnostic. As expected Naruto was completely healthy, all his systems in proper working order. "...Alright, everything's good, I just need some blood samples."

"Agh, I hate needles..." Naruto grumbled. Shizune got out a band and tied it on above his elbow, and readied the needle. She would be needing as large an amount as she could get away with, which under current circumstances would be about ten vials. She slid the tap in, and got the first vial on. It filled up quickly, as did the second and third. "Man, this is taking forever..."

It hasn't even been a minute... "I'll help it go faster," Shizune stated. She slid her free hand along Naruto's thigh to his crotchular area, where she squeezed gently but firmly, getting a good idea of the size.

"A hwa a bub b bb wh- uh wha, uh..." Though Naruto didn't jump out of his seat, part of him did jump at her touch. With his heart pounding filling the other seven vials went quickly, and as soon as Shizune got the tap out of his arm Naruto crossed his legs and looked up at the ceiling. "Uh.. Shizune, I, um... y'know, I like- uh... Sakura, and um well, you're nice but uh- um... I, uh..."

"That would've taken three minutes," Shizune said as she placed the vials in the tray. "Instead it took about two. Less time with the needle in you, isn't that what you wanted?"

"Well yeah, but..."

"I'm here to help you be healthy any way I can," Shizune said with a smile. Naruto chuckled nervously, but stopped when Shizune continued. "And part of being healthy is being sexually active. It's important to choose a good partner, too. Good luck getting Sakura's help there," She said with a wink.

"Are you saying what I think you are...?" Asked Naruto, glancing at his lap before staring at the wall.

"I'm just saying Sakura can't give you everything you need. I've been around her enough to know her tastes." Shizune cleared her throat. "Anyways, that's all for today's checkup. I'll get you the blood test results in a couple days." Naruto nodded, but didn't get up immediately. "What is it?"

He blushed red like the dawn after a typhoon, and stared at the wall. "Oh, y'know, this is actually a really comfy table. Just wanted to enjoy it for a bit longer..."

"Oh, let me help you with that." Shizune stepped over and uncrossed Naruto's legs, and wrapped an arm around his waist, fondling him with the other.

"N- no, I don't..."

"That's not what it's saying to me," Shizune whispered. She unzipped Naruto's fly, and was now able to get her hand all the way around Naruto. She looked deep into his eyes as she queezed, then pulled him in and gave him a kiss, deep and moist. She slid her hand through his boxers and felt his full length and warmth, then pulled the band down and heard Naruto go vertical with a soft thwip. He moaned into her mouth and Shizune began to stroke him, slow and gentle. Suddenly she pulled away, and licked her lips. Have to give him something to look forward to. "Well, I think you've enjoyed the table thoroughly this visit. Here's your jacket."

"I, uh, I reallydon'twanttoleavetheroomwhileIlooklikethis," Naruto spat out.

"Then would you like me to help you with it?"

"Well yeah, but I can- I MEAN NO!"

Shizune chuckled, and watched Naruto throb like a metronome. "There's a very simple solution to this problem, Naruto."

"But I, um..."

"Just use the Transformation Jutsu to appear as yourself."

"What? ...Oh, I see. Yeah." Naruto hurriedly got everything back in place, and formed the hand seal. With a puff of smoke he reappeared, but with no visible bulges. Not saying another word he all but ran out of the room. Shizune smiled, and looked at the tray of blood vials...

~oOo~

The D.N.A. analysis and reconditioning had taken about a week. Shizune couldn't help but smile almost constantly; she had Naruto inside her on a level far deeper than anyone but his future children would. She still hoped that she wouldn't just have him in her on a scientifically intimate level, and with how he'd reacted in the office she doubted he'd come to her.

But all that was going to change soon. When Shizune gave up on learning her master's Yin Seal, she began to study sealing away chakra externally by more normal methods. She could design a seal to use a jutsu or a genjutsu, or simply to store chakra. She was now carrying all the epic number of chakra tags she'd ever created, headed to her apartment. The jutsu she planned to use was ancient, but had faded into myth; so for all intents and purposes she would be the first. And yet, she wouldn't be making this public; the results would be for her and her alone to enjoy.

With the stash of chakra tags retrieved from the restricted section of the library, the journey to home a couple blocks away was swiftly completed. She slipped in as if everything was normal. Her bedroom was already prepared, she'd done it in the morning before work. The three circles had been drawn, the sealing language describing the mind, body, and spirit. Alright, time to step in. Her footsteps echoed as she walked forwards into the center circle, a steady rhythm like a heartbeat. The tags were in place- while Shizune hadn't quite been able to form the Yin Seal, she could certainly seal away chakra by more normal methods. She would need every bit of the power she'd sealed away for the last couple days, and all her own. Through Yin Release she would create the form, and with Yang Release give it life- hopefully. It struck Shizune as somewhat ironic that with Yin, the spirit, she would be creating the body, and that with Yang, she would be giving it life and a spirit.

Now, so to speak, she had stepped off into the deep end. This had been done before, but so long ago the act had faded into myth. For all intents and purposes Shizune would be the first, but she was not fazed by the task at hand. She came to a stop in the middle of the inner circle, and threw back her clothes. Shizune picked up her prayer staff, and banged the staff on the ground three times and rattled the rings, then sat down in the Lotus position, and laid the staff across her legs. Out, from within! The seals on the tags in the inner circle were undone, and the chakra came flooding in. It was redirected through her, taking on the essence of Yin Release and out. From the inside out Shizune "saw" her creation taking shape, expanding from the smallest shred of D.N.A. into cells and bones, muscles and flesh and organs fading into being. Skin and hair wrapped around the frame, and as the rush of energy from the inner circles chakra tags dwindled the body became complete. Taking up the staff, its bottom was rapped against the cold floor thrice, and the rings shaken. "Hah!" The middle ring of tags was unsealed, and the much larger flow of energy filled up Shizune's mind. She was now preparing the body to be brought to life; giving it the ability to grow and thrive, those innate qualities between flesh and spirit. This was worked from the outside in, wrapping around and permeating and fusing the body until it reached down past the D.N.A. and pooled inside the frame. The vast flow of chakra ceasing, Shizune opened her eyes and walked forwards. The body was there, as she had hoped it would be. Rapping the staff against the floor three more times and shook it's rings, and unsealed the outer circle of tags. By design the energy came in slower, so that she would be able to give it the properties of Yang Release. Her finger was stretched out to touch the chest of the body, and she focused it into the flesh and bones, not from within or without but all at once. The chakra grew warmer and stronger, resonating with the body like two musical notes. Finding their harmony, the notes grew closer, and became one. Still her Yang was not powerful enough, and there was only one way to amp it up. Taking her hand off the body's chest, she touched herself, her body sensitive from the strain of the Yang release. Her hand slipped inside herself, and began to furiously work towards pleasure. "Awaken!" As the rush of chakra suddenly increased and threatened to overhelm her Shizune struck the butt of the staff on the floor three times and shook the staff's rings, shifting her focus towards being and letting the chakra flow through her freely. With a flash of light the flow ceased, and Shizune came. She felt faint and weak from the intense focus of her Yang Release, and let her staff fall to the ground. She felt she was moments away from losing consciousness, and curled up against her creation, ready to go to sleep. There was a soft breath on the back of her neck, and her eyes closed for a moment- then flew wide open.

"You're alive!"

"A... live?"

"Yes..." Shizune stared down at her creation: it was not a beast as she initially had planned long ago, but an exact copy of Naruto. "You're alive, and you're beautiful. Do you see this?" Shizune pointed between her legs to where she had swollen up. "This is yours; touch it."

"Soft," Said Naruto, gently stroking the area. The word mildly surprised Shizune, before she remembered "Naruto" had been "born" with a mature brain.

Shizune moaned, and looked into Naruto's eye's for a moment. "And this," She said, grasping Naruto's penis, "Is mine." She massaged the appendage for a moment, until it swelled in her hand. "My name is Shizune, and you are called Naruto. Come to bed with me, and hold me..." Naruto stood and followed Shizune down teh hall to her bedroom, where she fell down on top of the sheets. He slid his arms around her, his breath warm on her neck.

~oOo~

"-And that's how you make egg toast. I've heard how some ninja prefer theirs with syrup, but I like a bit of cream cheese and fruit jam, particularly oran berries. How do you want it?"

"Like yours; that will be okay."

"Alright. Don't be afraid to have opinions, every now and then."

Naruto nodded, and spread Shizune's cream cheese on his sizzling hot slices of egg toast. Some oran berry jam was spooned out and spread on top, and Naruto waited for Shizune to fix her slices. "Itadakimasu!" He smiled and took a big bite, his cheeks bulging out.

"Don't get so big a mouthful you can't chew," Shizune gently warned. She took a carefully measured bite, much smaller than she'd have taken if she hadn't just told Naruto to be careful.

"Tastes good," Naruto said, gulping down his bite. "Shizune, what's the meaning of life?"

Shizune accidentally spat out her mouthful across the counter at Naruto, getting it all over his face. "Let me clean that up..." Taking her white linen napkin Shizune picked away the food on Naruto's shirt, but could feel him looking at her as she did so. When she saw his face all covered by her half-chewed food she just couldn't help herself, and began to lick and eat it away. She didn't stop there, and pulled Naruto to the kitchen floor, straddling his waist and stripping off her kimono. "Sex, Naruto. Sex is the meaning of your life and your destiny. Whether it is a physical orgasm or the orgasm of the spirit after toil and suffering, sex is life. I've been incomplete without you, Naruto. Without you my life has no meaning."

"Will you make me orgasm?"

"Yes." Shizune ripped off her panties and Naruto's boxers, and tore her bra and his shirt away. She feverishly ground and moved her hips against Naruto, her arousal quickly ballooning and bursting. Naruto groaned, and she felt him harden. Shizune began to pant, she had been training for this moment. Though it had never happened, she'd prepared for it as much as she could: Kegel exercises during long meetings and at home watching movies, at nearly every moment when not doing more regular training. She could hold a greased dildo with a fifty pound weight tied to it inside her while standing with her legs apart, something she regularly did while training her belly dancing skills. But despite her fierce training and masturbating, it was like tickling yourself- it only worked with two people. Naruto would be her first; as she slipped him in he ruptured her hymen like a ninja that disrupted a genjutsu. Almost literally it felt like that; Shizune's reality was torn away and replaced by something harsher and more beautiful, that made her eyes water with glory. She remembered herself and implemented her toothpaste tube training and began to massage Naruto within her. He moaned, as did Shizune. As she rocked him his hands settled on her hips, pulling her closer. Without warning Shizune was lost in the molten infernoes of lusty passion, her eyes closing as she curled back and her arms flew out, her whole body throbbing with pleasure. "WRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

"Shizune!" She looked down at him, panting, and knew he had reached the top with her. Her eyes blazing, she stood and carried Naruto to the couch, where she threw him down and jumped on him, fiercely covering him with kisses. He struggled against her, but couldn't tame Shizune and instead gave his all to intensifying the kiss. Shizune moaned loudly and wraped herself around Naruto, her nails scratching his back...

~oOo~

"Where's granny Tsunade?" Asked Naruto.

"Bathroom," Shizune explained. "You can give me your mission report, I'll tell her."

"Well, it was a plain old boring bodyguard mission. That Amane Tatsuyama lady didn't do much besides sew and weave all day, and I didn't even see the tax collectors she was supposed to be hiding from. She didn't even prick her fingers when she was sewing because she wore a thimble! If I'm going to be the Hokage someday, I'm going to need better missions."

"You can't save the world every day, Naruto. If they're around long enough every ninja has missions like this one. Is that all?"

"Yeah."

"Alright. I need you to hold on just a moment..." Shizune quickly wrote down Naruto's report. then stood. "Come here..."

"Uh..." Cautiously Naruto approached the desk, and Shizune came around, to give him a hug. "What's this for? Is it because I was complaining just a second ago?"

"No, it's just because I wanted to give you a hug," Shizune said. "And this is because I want to give you a kiss..." Shizune planted one on Naruto, and he immediately reacted by squirming his hands between them. He pushed against her, but Shizune could tell it wasn't a serious effort.

"Ghuuh, erm eh- uh... mnf! Shthne! Ah- won't Tsunade be back in a moment?"

"Yes, she should be back any minute."

"Then I, uh, I- er, I guess I'd better be leaving..."

"You didn't like the kiss?"

"It, umm... I, uh... just, wasn't expecting it..."

"Well, how about I come over to your apartment later today and give you a kiss there? You'll have plenty of time to be prepared."

"Shizune, uh..." But before Naruto could say anything else, Shizune kissed him again wrapping her arms around his waist and pulling their hips together. She gently swayed against him, and like a balloon inflating, felt him react. He didn't try to push her away at first, but after reaching full size shuffled back a bit. "Shizune, what do you want from me...?"

"You. These little stolen moments aren't enough for me, Naruto. And don't forget that if there's something you want from me, I'll be glad to help." Shizune pointedly stared down at Naruto, who began to blush.

"Uh, you're nice and uh... you'reactuallysortakindaprettyforanoldergirl but I- um..."

"What?" Shizune asked, pulling Naruto in and kissing the base of his neck.

"I'm a vir-" There was a knock on the door, and in an instant Shizune was back behind the desk.

"Oh Naruto, I take it your mission's done?" It was Tsunade.

"Yes ma'am!"

"He gave me the report, but I thought I'd keep him here so you can hear it, Lady Tsunade."

"Alright." Tsunade came around and sat at the desk, noticing Naruto turned away from her. "What is it? Nothing bad happened, right?"

"Ah, no, nothing bad. The most exciting thing that happened was her making curry and sharing it with me for dinner," Naruto said casually, folding his arms behind his head.

Without knocking, Sakura came in. "Lady TsunARGH OH NO, NO NO NO! BRAIN BLEACH BRAIN BLEACH BRAIN BLEACH-" Clawing her eyes, Sakura turned and ran out of the office.

There was a distinctly awkward silence in the office before Naruto spoke. "I better go and check up on her." Using the Transformation Jutsu, Naruto ran out of the office after Sakura.

"...That's odd. Nothing changed when he used the Transformation Jutsu..."

"I've never heard of it being used that way before," Stated Tsunade. "Hmm. Well, in any case Shizune, I got a letter from your landlord today."

"Huh? What was it about?"

"He said your apartment's been pretty noisy the last several nights, and that if it keeps up he'll start charging me rent."

"I'm sorry, ma'am. I'll... try to be more careful."

"He also mentioned there was no need to introduce yourself to the new tenants," Tsunade stated with a smirk. "Who is he?"

"You'll have to catch us at it to find out," Shizune said defensively.

"No thanks," Tsunade chuckled. "I'm not like Jiraiya was, it's enough for me to know that you've finally found someone. Why don't you take the rest of the day off, and spend it with him?"

"Are- are you sure?"

"Yes, go on." Tsunade stated, shooing Shizune away. The raven haired assistant bowed and left, smiling inside herself.

~oOo~

"-But the fourth season hasn't come out, it won't be on KBS until January. So what do you think?"

"Lady Mary is interesting. I like her maid, too."

"Hmm. Want to watch anything else?"

"No, not right now." Shizune looked down at Naruto's waist and back up to his face.

"Naruto, do you think I'm pretty?"

"I think you're..." Naruto made a scowly thinking face as he searched for the right word. "Cute? Yes, I think you're cute, Shizune." He smiled, and Shizune leaned over and gave him a kiss. "Your kisses are nice, too."

"Naruto, could you wait here for me? I'm going to go get something real quick." He nodded, and Shizune stepped over to the refridgerator. She looked in and there on the shelf was what she was looking for. Grinning, she hurried back to the couch. "Lie down..."

"What's that?"

"It's mustard powder; it'll make you taste really good for me."

"Oh, come on then!" Naruto stretched back and let Shizune undress him, and his eyes feasted on her in turn as she disrobed. She opened the jar of ground mustard, and held out Naruto's manhood. A thick line was shaken out onto into it, and Shizune licked her lips as she looked deep into Naruto's eyes. Pushing shut one of her nostrils, she hovered over Naruto's shaft and snorted up as much as she could of the powder. She got a second pass and her world lit on fire, the joyous pain cascading down from her nostrils and sinuses. She then took him into her mouth, relishing his taste mixing with mustard. It was like a sexy human hotdog, and Shizune ate it up with relish. Naruto groaned, the mustard causing him to burn in a sexy way. "Ooorrrgh, SHIZUNE!" Before either of them were expecting it he released his essence inside of her. Shizune swallowed it, then sprinting to the bathroom washed it down with some water. When she got back Naruto's shaft still stood proud like a martyr, and quivered like the quill of Shakespeare.

"Take me Naruto," Shizune stated. "Ram my ass until you break your balls on it."

"Won't that hurt?"

"Yes. And I'm going to love it." The aura of Shizune's mind still burning, she turned around and layed prone, spreading herself out for Naruto. She felt his impossibly stiff, impossibly eloquent cock enter her anus. The tender and excruciating penis enema continued for minutes on end, Naruto gaining confidence and speed as Shizune moaned his name. Shizune's head pulsed with pleasure and force, heat of three different kinds building up and warring with each other for control of her orgasm. In the end it was Naruto who took the reigns and whipped Shizune over the finish line, his throaty moan causing her to tense up and release, her immense orgasm like a transcendant dove. Over and over she spasmed and pulsed, until she whimpered quietly in bliss. Shortly thereafter she felt Naruto flutter over the edge.

He fell back from her, exhausted. "You... feel so good..."

"I don't even know where I am right now," Shizune whispered. Tumbling onto her side, she vaguely saw Naruto crawl over, and pause on all fours between her legs.

"Can I lick you?" He asked shyly. Shizune nodded, and Naruto descended like a moon arching past its zenith. Shizune howled, and immediately came. She had always been on the sensitive side, and now that she had a real man to get the job done the sensations were unbelievable. Still Naruto lapped at her, spreading her open and licking her with immaculate precision.

"Up... a bit higher, NaAARRRUTO!" He'd found the spot on instinct, and licked and pushed at it with his tongue. Shizune wrapped her legs around his back and drew his head deeper into her, moaning as loud as she'd ever done. "AaaaaaaAAAAAIIIIEEEEEE!" Yet again Shizune yelled her bittersweet ascendancy, the pleasure sharper than before. "That's... that's enough for now, Naruto."

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No, you did it... as right as you could have. Damn, that was so good... How do I taste?"

"Like salty cream cheese, and the same feel on my tongue, too."

Shizune panted in pleased silence, seeing Naruto was still hard, somehow. "Let's go shower, and I'll help you with that, okay?" Naruto nodded and followed Shizune to the bathroom.

~oOo~

Naruto looked at the letter again to make sure this was right. I know she's been after me the last week or so, but I haven't been to her house. There's no way I'd go when she's so determined to get me- I don't know if I'd make it out alive! What'd he say, again? "...You're young, your hormones are raging, blah blah blah. Your the village hero so I've ignored it as long as I have- just get it taken care of, alright?" But how? I mean, I don't want to be rude about it, but saying she's nice and everything before saying no hasn't exactly helped, either. Maybe... I could pretend to like her for a little bit, maybe then she'd have enough and leave me alone. I guess I'll try that and see how it goes.

The apartment was pretty close to to Hokage tower, so Naruto found his way and got there quickly. Her suite was on the second floor, room 432-B. At the door he could he a rock song with a female singer playing loudly, and hear people doing something in one of the rooms. It sounded like a good party to him, so he used the Lockpicking Jutsu and let himself in.

"Vampire kiss breaks the skin..."

Naruto nodded along to the lyrics, and headed towards the source, suddenly he found himself in a bedroom, and went into shock. There was Shizune... and on top of her, someone who looked exactly like him, plowing into her in a furious rhythm. He could now hear the noises as Shizune's moans of pleasure and his doppleganger's groans, not some party. The Hokage's assistant's eyes were closed, her head thrown back in delight. There were wet smacking and sucking noises as the two went at it, and not able to stop staring Naruto got an eyeful of Shizune. It was hard to tell when she wore her kimono, but she had very alluring and graceful, slender curves, her skin pale and fresh. Naruto found himself salivating and hardening at the sight of her, his pants uncomfortably tight despite their elastic waist. He swallowed, and his jaw fell open again as Shizune wrapped her legs around his clone's back, raising her hips up to meet its thrusts

"Ooh, oooOOHFNAARUTOOOOOOOO!" She tensed up and shuddered on his clone, panting and moaning. His clone was pulled down for a deep kiss, Shizune still rocking her hips up to his clone's. Feeling a bit lightheaded, Naruto very carefully and quietly backed out of the room, Shizune's moment of bliss seared onto his eyes. Softly he closed the door, and turned to walk away- only to find Tsunade in his way.

"Oh, Narutohplease, at least try to hide that..."

"Hide wha- oh NO NO NO." Quickly making the hand seals, he used the Transformation Jutsu, appearing as he normally would.

"Better." Wait, isn't that what he did the other day in my office? I'll have to borrow the brain bleach from Sakura... "...So if you don't mind me asking, what brings you here to Shizune's apartment?"

"Oh, I uh... just got this letter from her landlord, nothing major."

"And yet you walk out of her apartment almost as long as you are tall. What were you doing in there?" Naruto refused to answer, and Tsunade noticed he was holding a letter in his hand. She snatched it away from him, and read it. ...Oh fuck. No, just- NO. She quickly pulled out her letter from her jacket and scanned it again. She sighed, channeling her lightning chakra into the letters until they crinkled up and caught on fire.

"Hey! What'd you burn the letters for?"

"Repressing the truth. Naruto- I can't believe I'm saying- no, ordering you to do this- I am going to give you a bit of money. You are going to head to three o' nine Cherry Street, go into the shop, and ask for a plum-"

"I'm not going to run your errands for you, sorry."

"This is for both of us! Now listen. Go to the shop, get the 'plum', and then I want you to give the 'plum' to Shizune."

"What do you mean? This sounds a whole bunch like you want me to go shopping for you, but you used air quotes."

Tsunade sighed again. "Just do what I'm telling you, alright? You'll know what I'm talking about once you get to the shop."

"Why?" Asked Naruto, still feeling uncomfortable and petty.

"Do you really want the whole village to know Shizune screams your name in the bedroom? In fact, this being a ninja village, it's probably been in and out of the rumor mill already. I'm surprised I haven't heard of it before now."

"But what will a 'plum' do to help?"

Resist the urge to punch resist the urge to punch- "Like I said, you'll know what I mean once you get to the shop. Please, please do not make me tell you what the 'plum' actually is."

Naruto finally broke, and spilled it all out to Tsunade. "Shemadeacloneofmeandshewasreally-andImeanREALLYgoingatit, and she'sbeencomingontomeandkissingmeandtouchingmeandIlikeitalittlebit, butIdon'texactlywanttodoitandit'sweirdbutthenIjustwalkedinonherandnowI'mnotsu-" Tsunade pinched Naruto's mouth shut and stuffed the ryo into his hand, and pointed him away from the door.

"North-West. Eight blocks. Three o' nine Cherry Street. Plum. Go." Naruto nodded and ran off, kicking up delicate clouds of dust...

~oOo~

The first day, he'd been unable to after finding out what the "plum" was; there had been thoughts of Shizune wearing it, followed by thoughts of her wearing it with him or his clone. But now, he was manning up and heading back to the apartment, the "plum" in a plain brown paper bag. His cheeks still felt red; he didn't know if he'd stopped blushing since he left the shop on Cherry Street.

I thought I'd wet my bed when I woke up... I guess, I kinda do like her. Or at least part of me does. Naruto knocked on Shizune's door. After some hurried moving about, he heard someone walk up and open.

"Oh, Naruto. Hello. Would you like to step in for a second?"

"Uh, sure." He followed her in, gulping as he heard the door shut behind him. "So, uh, how's life?"

"It's been excellent. Can I get you a drink?"

"Um, no thanks, I wasn't going to be here long." Naruto looked down at the bag, and held it out to Shizune. "Th- this is for you..." He cleared his throat, and continued. "I uh, got a letter from your landlord, asking me if I could... do something about the noise..."

"Oh! Ehah... I suppose I have been a little loud." Shizune smiled and took the bag from Naruto. Despite Naruto's protests she went on ahead and opened it, her eyes growing wide. I guess this would solve the noise problem... "...I've never used one before. Would you like to help me see how effective it is?"

"...I don't know!" Shizune moved in and gave Naruto a soft kiss, weaving her fingers through his hair.

"I guess I've been kinda overwhelming, haven't I?" Shizune said, looking deep into Naruto's limpid blue pools. "Let's forget about needing that," She stated, tossing away the bag. "Come to the couch with me." He went with her, feeling his cheeks heat up even more than they had before. They sat down, a short silence before Naruto leaned in to kiss Shizune. It was different than the other times they'd kissed, it was softer yet also more true. Naruto put an arm around Shizune's shoulders, drawing her close and deepening the kiss. In his pants, he could feel himself reacting, and wrapped his other arm around Shizune, holding her tightly. Several moments later they paused to breathe, and Shizune fell back, pulling Naruto down on top of her before grabbing on to him and kissing. Naruto began to moan at the way Shizune was making him feel, and at that moment two doors opened.

Hmm? What's this bag? Sakura bent down and picked it up, and took a look inside. Just a ball, on a- oh. OH. Sakura shook her head and put the bag back on the floor. C'mon Shizune, at least TRY to hide that. Now where are you... Making her way from the kitchen area she walked around the wall and came upon the living room. "WAAH!"

"AAAH!"

"HUH?!" Naruto and Shizune separated and faced Sakura, their clothes ruffled and wrinkled. "Sakura, what are you doing here?!"

"Well, Shizune, I've been hearing things about you and Naruto and I just wanted to talk to you to see if they were true. I guess I don't have to."

"Hello."

"Naruto, not n- wait..." Sakura turned to the hallway, and saw Naruto smiling at her. "Is one of you two a clone?"

"I didn't make a cl-" Naruto's jaw dropped as he saw himself walk into the living room. "What's going on here, Shizune?"

"You," Shizune stated. "You have, every night."

"But that's some kind of clone, isn't it?" Naruto stuttered.

"He's as real as you are," Stated Shizune, "But he isn't you. I need you, Naruto."

"You know Naruto, I still love Sasuke. But I've realized that in a different way, I love you, too. I'm not going to let her use you like this!"

"You think I would just leave him? I could fuck him every day for the rest of my life and not get tired of him! And it's more than that: I've watched him become a man, a hero. I've always felt something for him, since the first time I've met him!"

"Then what's this clone- or whatever the heck it is- doing here? Fight me, bitch! Let's take this outside!"

"Alright! But there's something I need to do first." Shizune pulled down the real Naruto's pants and boxers, exposing his rigidness to the air before going down and taking it into her mouth, bobbing up and down until it was wholly inside her. She made sure to moan and slurp, and Naruto groaned loudly.

"Shizune, I'm about to- FLOMOOOOO!" Shizune turned to Sakura, letting a bit of Naruto's essence dribble down from her chin.

"Let's go, Sakura!" Shizune spat out Naruto's love juice on Sakura's face, and the two women went outside, and ran up to the roof of the apartment complex. An epic version of the Yu-Gi-Oh theme started to play, and the wind blew in a cool way. Somewhere an announcer guy said "Rebel one, bring the action!" Sakura ran forwards and used a high kick, which Shizune blocked easily. It was a strong kick, so she took a little chip damage. Sakura continued to use many fast and strong kicks, but Shizune was good with her dodging, slipping all of the attacks. She countered a palm strike with a tripping low kick, which caused Sakura to stumble a bit. She then kneed Sakura in the face and stomped on her chest as the girl flew back, making a small hole in the roof. "Ten years too early, kid! I have a harder time putting Tonton's jacket on her!"

"Then come get me! Your move!"

"I activate my trap card, Purple Haze!" Sakura looked around her as Shizune's poison mist began to pool around her, and closed her mouth. But just a few moments later, the mist flew away from Sakura, catching on fire!

"Hell yeah!" Sakura flew forwards for her huge punch, but Shizune wasn't there! She was t-boned by Shizune, who landed a fierce flying kick that knocked Sakura through a row of air conditioning units. Sakura threw them at Shizune, who backhanded one aside and let the other hit her and bounce off. "What?"

"Chakra Enhanced Defense, Pinkie Pie. You're gonna have to do a lot better than that."

"Then see if you can stop this from getting through! Sakura pulled out a kunai, and leapt forwards with amazing speed and stabbed Shizune right in the jugular, only to find she'd been substituted for one of the air conditioner units. She quickly turned and slashed, but her kunai was blocked by a Chakra Scalpel. With a quick flick of her hand Shizune cut the medial nerve in Sakura's hand, causing the young apprentice to immediately drop her kunai and howl in pain. "...Looks like I'll have to get serious. Yin Seal: Release!" The lines spread out over Sakura's body, and her wrist began to heal. "Beware, motherfucker! This is the technique that maimed the Ten Tails! Hell yeah!"

Shizune shook her head. "I sacrifice my blood to summon the Blue-Eyes White Beast!" Shizune bit her thumbs to draw blood and wiped it on the roof, and there was a large cloud of smoke. When it drifted away on the wind there was a twenty foot tall beast standing behind Shizune. It looked like a very natural mix of deer and weasel, and had three long white tails. "Show her the meaning of fear!" The beast roared as Sakura charged forwards, the force stopping her in her tracks and blowing her backwards towards the edge of the roof. Slashing mightily with its paw, blades of wind flew forth. They barely missed Sakura, and cut deep into the roof. The Blue-Eyes White Beast was fast, and carved many gouges in the roof as Sakura dodged. "Stop playing around! Blue-Eyes White Beast, use Burst Stream of Destruction!"

"He won't get to charge it!"

"He will!" Sakura shook her head, but gasped as two more Blue-Eyes White Beasts leapt over the first to attack her.

Wait, a gentjutsu! As Sakura felt blades of wind slice her open she managed to dispel the illusion, only to see the true Burst Stream of Destruction was almost done charging. The air howled and screeched as it moved around at maximum density and speed, and as the Blue-Eyes White Beast roared it combusted into a pillar of blindingly bright blue-white fire! Sakura dodged to the side, but the explosion was so hot and powerful it it still sent her flying and burned her all over her front. But before she could land on her feet in front of the apartment complex she felt something slam into her back, and her vision cleared. She was indented into Hokage Mountain, and an epically massive Burst Stream of Destruction was headed her way. Double layered genjutsu! A distraction for the actual summoning and attack! Ugh, my coccyx. I don't have time to speed the healing process! NOOOOOO!

The Burst Stream of Destruction hit on target, not slowing down until it was deep in the mountain- or so it would have appeared to the bystanders. A seal tag that had been placed on Sakura's stomach when Shizune slammed her far away into the rock absorbed the attack, the harsh fires being stored away with a hiss and a wisp of smoke. However, as Shizune saw, the heat had still done plenty of damage- the rock around Sakura had been vaporized into a cave, and the young girl's clothes had been burned away in the front. The shock had caused her to pass out, as well. Shizune took out a few of her chakra tags, and used them to activate a body-wide Mystical Palm Jutsu, the green glow healing Sakura's burns to fresh pink health. Then, Shizune slapped Sakura. "Wake up!"

"Ah! Wh- Shizune... why? Why did you spare me?! I'm not worthy of fighting for Naruto, I can't believe I lost..."

"At least you survived the Burst Stream of Destruction," Shizune stated, as she plucked the sealing tag off Sakura's stomach. "And I can count on a closed fist the number of people who could survive one." Tucking the tag into her kimono, Shizune crossed her arms and looked down at Sakura. "Naruto's mine. You're a cute girl Sakura, a girl any number of guys would be lucky to have; and you'll have your pick of them- except for Naruto. Got that?" Sakura nodded, and watched as Shizune walked out of the cave.

~oOo~

It was a picturesque day in Konoha, and Shizune was sitting in the new cave in the Hokage Mountain. "You know, I could kind of get used to this," Naruto stated. He took a deep breath and stretched, and looked over to Shizune. "You... really do like me, right?"

"Of course, silly. How could I not?" Shizune playfully scowled at Naruto, and decided to tell him. "Naruto, I'm pregnant."

"Oh, that's nice. Who- oh... oh. You... you mean...?"

"Yes!" Shizune leaned over and gave Naruto a kiss on the cheek. "I think what I'll like best is being able to tell my child their father is a hero, and a good man."

"Oh, well, uh I guess that would be kinda cool, y'know?" Shizune nodded and wrapped an arm around Naruto, and looked out on Konoha...

THE END