She's seen him looking.
They have three classes together, Elena's in two of them. For the third class, the one Elena's not in, they sit side by side in the back row. Sometimes they play hangman or tic-tac-toe. Stefan scribbles jokes in the margin of Bonnie's notes and draws silly faces to make her laugh. He's serious and quiet, but he has a wicked sense of humor.
Sometimes he gives her candy. She'll turn away to dig something out of her bag or sneak a quick text to Caroline or Elena, and when her attention is back on the matter at hand, she'll find a small present on top of her desk. A single peppermint wrapped in clear cellophane. A Hershey Kiss. A cherry Jolly Rancher — her favorite, though she doesn't remember telling him that. Bonnie whispers her thanks, but Stefan never responds. He just sits looking straight ahead, the hint of a smile on his lips.
It's completely innocent and there's nothing to hide, but she's never told Elena about Stefan's scribbled notes or the drawings that decorate her papers. She's never mentioned the candy. Elena's never said anything, so Bonnie's sure that Stefan's never mentioned these things either.
Elena thinks that she's the linchpin of Stefan and Bonnie's friendship. Stefan and Bonnie say nothing to correct that assumption.
Everything changes one day and Bonnie has more than candies to thank Stefan for. She owes him her life. It's unsettling, knowing what he is, knowing those creatures really exist. She's a witch but at least she's alive. Her heart beats, her body is warm to touch. She's never…died.
She steals glances at Stefan when she doesn't think he's looking, trying to reconcile the fact that he's a boy — her age at the time — who died, who died, and is now up and walking around. Stefan is dead, she thinks to herself, watching him raise his hand to answer a question in class. She tries to imagine him laid out in a coffin, eyes closed, skin slightly off color and cold to touch. She shivers involuntarily. He's dead.
He's a boy, her age when he died, who has become a close friend.
Bonnie stops trying to reconcile the idea of a living corpse with the boy she knows. He's sweet, considerate, and kind, and he saved her life.
Walking to their next class, she glances at Stefan and he follows when she turns down a quiet stretch of hallway that leads to the old gym. She sits on a bench near a stretch of abandoned lockers and he sits down beside her. They haven't talked about that night in the woods, but Bonnie's finally ready to acknowledge what happened.
"You're dead," she says softly.
Even though she's sure Stefan had no idea what she was going to say, he doesn't look surprised. He nods. "I am," he says quietly.
She's thinking a million things, things she thought she wanted to say to Stefan, things she thought she wanted to ask. Sitting beside him now, only one thing seems important. "You saved my life. I didn't get a chance to thank you," Bonnie says slowly, quietly. She turns and leans forward to kiss Stefan's cheek. His body temperature is lower than her own. His skin is cool beneath her lips, but it's not unpleasant. Something about him feels invincible.
Stefan is smiling, the quiet little smile that she likes best. "My pleasure, I assure you." He pauses before he says, "I want to apologize for Damon—"
Bonnie stops him before he can go further. "Damon can apologize for himself," she says firmly, but she knows that will probably never happen.
Stefan nods, says nothing for a moment.
"IwanttoapologizeforDamon;I'msorrymybrotherisajackass," he says suddenly, all in a rush and Bonnie laughs; he smiles and looks at her with warmth and humor in his eyes. "The world's a better place with you in it," he says softly.
She accepts the apology, still laughing, and looks down to avoid looking into his smiling face. Stefan makes a little sound and Bonnie glances up to see him looking thoughtfully at the lockers opposite them. "What?" she asks.
"It's just…that night. If anything had happened after I helped you—" he stops, still not looking at her. "I'd have been your sire."
Bonnie hadn't thought of it. Thinking about it now, she gets a chill.
Stefan's looking at her with his most sincere, serious expression. "If anything happens," he says, and it sounds like the beginning of a promise Bonnie doesn't want to hear, "if I could do something—"
Bonnie shakes her head. "Which you won't, because I—"
"—wouldn't let you die," Stefan says, and they're talking over each other. "I'd do it—"
"No, Stefan," Bonnie says, still shaking her head.
"If anything happened and I could do something—" Stefan says, more emphatically than before.
"No!" Bonnie is just as emphatic as Stefan, her voice rising, interrupting him, but he keeps talking.
Stefan says, "I would." He's serious and intense, she knows this about him, but she doesn't think she's ever seen him quite this adamant, and certainly not about anything that involves her. Bonnie looks at him helplessly.
"Whether I wanted you to or not? Stefan, I don't want that."
"Yes, whether you wanted me to or not."
"Why?" Bonnie asks, completely at a loss. "Because Elena would lose me?"
(In their classes with Elena, the three of them sit with Bonnie on one side, Stefan on the other, and Elena in the middle. From time to time, Stefan leans back slightly in his seat, looking around Elena to glance ever so discreetly in Bonnie's direction. Bonnie leans back in her seat to ensure that when he looks, she can be seen.)
"No, not because Elena would lose you," he finally says with quiet emphasis. The expression on his face is unreadable, but deep inside, Bonnie knows.