This is a Zutara fic. There will be other pairings as the story continues and is rated M for graphic violence and sexual situations. This follows cannon up until Sozin's Comet then goes into an AU.
Avatar: The Last Airbender and it's characters belong to Bryke and Nickelodeon. Enjoy!
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Chapter One: Despondency
The world they knew had fallen. The invasion on the day of Sozin's comet was compromised and nothing had been the same since. An infiltrator had revealed their plans to Azula and the Fire Nation was ten steps ahead ever since.
Aang had been injured during the attack and Ozai - now recognized as the Phoenix King took the opportunity to have him captured. Every rescue mission, every search party, all the attempts had been futile. He had become the Fire Nation's most guarded prisoner and not even Appa was able to pick up on his scent.
"Katara, we have to keep moving. It'll be nightfall soon." Sokka urged as he rubbed his hands together for warmth.
Realizing she had zoned out for the thousandth time that day she began to push forward. It was now winter and before the war, this had been her favorite season. None of this was supposed to happen. They were supposed to win, her friends should have been celebrating the defeat of the Fire Nation and most importantly her father was supposed to be alive.
Katara thanked the spirits her brother and Toph had made it out alive, but Hakoda had sacrificed himself for the sake of his son. There was a part of her that wondered if she was being punished because it seemed as though everything was being taken from her.
The area in which they were traveling was unfamiliar ground which made them uneasy to say the least. They were fugitives once again, however, times were especially dangerous because the Fire Nation was rounding up benders from every region of the world.
The raids were not new, but from word of mouth these benders were not being killed this time around. Katara could not even imagine being a prisoner after the stories Hama told her.
"This is a good place to make camp," Top suggested dropping her share of supplies to the ground. "I can't sense anyone for miles."
"Are you sure, Toph? I get a weird feeling from this place." Sokka eyed their surroundings making sure they weren't followed.
"Yes I'm sure. Even if I wasn't, there's no way I'm walking another twenty miles so this is our best bet." she said wryly.
As they began to set up for the night Katara realized they were running low on food and they would not be able to avoid going into town for much longer. The Fire Nation soldiers were positioned around nearly every major city and it had been this way for years. They were still struggling to fully take Ba Sing Se and most of Ozai's attention was directed towards this effort but he had posters of them plastered at every turn, determined to make them pay for the attempt on his life.
She tried her best not to let her mind drift back to the events of that day. It played out as some sick joke in the depths of her subconscious. Everything was going according to plan. That was until Azula struck lighting in her direction and Zuko risked his life for hers by jumping in front of it.
Katara was able to able to heal him, and in the moment she remembered how terrified she was that he wasn't going to make it. She was able to defeat Azula, but as the fallen Princess sat laughing to herself with her arms caged below her - something just felt off.
Within minutes after healing Zuko, praying that it would be enough to keep him alive. The area was surrounded by Fire Nation Soldiers, and that's when she knew they had been in the middle of an ambush. She realized that they never even had a chance, that this had all been anticipated. Over before it even began.
I should have known better, Katara thought absentmindedly as she prepared the little meat Sokka had caught earlier. It was barely enough for two people let alone three, but it was all they had.
"Is this it?" Sokka grimaced over his share of supper, realizing this was all he would have to sustain him until daybreak.
"Yes, and one of us will have to go into town for more food. It's winter now and most of the animals will be going into hibernation soon." She spoke dryly.
"Why can't we all go? More hands to carry more supplies." Toph muffled with a full mouth.
Sokka shoveled the rest of the food into her mouth before allotting a response, "because if there are soldiers there it's more likely we'll be recognized as a group and brought to the Fire Nation."
Katara cringed at the notion. Those soldiers would have to kill her before she allowed them to take her freedom away.
"He's right Toph, the only way it'll work is if one of us goes. That's the way we've been doing it so we're going to keep it that way." Katara spoke as she fed Appa and Momo their portion of feed, knowing they'd have to buy twice as much food as last time to keep them going through winter. Going into town this often was too risky and they needed to maintain their covers within the outskirts of the Earth Kingdom.
She had no idea how they would fix any of this but she knew that something good had to come out of her father's death and Aang's capture. Her optimism is what was keeping her alive.
"Whatever. I'm going to bed, my feet are killing me. Someone wake me when it's time to move again." Toph remarked with a yawn as she slid into her tent.
Katara stoked the fire before bidding goodnight to Sokka and heading into her own tent. She settled herself inside her blanket and sank into the warmth it provided.
It was getting harder and harder to look at her brother these days. Sokka looked like their father, and she felt sick anytime she brought herself to miss him. It was better to act as if it didn't happen. As if her father was somewhere in the Southern Water Tribe awaiting her and Sokka's return from a vacation of some sort. The truth was too bitter to take in.
Despite her greatest efforts, Katara began to recall the worst day of her life, right next to the morning the Southern Raiders took her mother away from her. The Fire Nation made her a motherless child and twisted the knife even further by murdering Hakoda.
When the fleet arrived and freed Azula, all that came the young waterbender's way was a blank stare from the Princess at the sight of Katara cradling her brother's body. She made no attempts to finish the job, she simply ordered the both of them be apprehended and taken aboard the Fire Nation airship waiting above.
Katara had screamed and fought her way through a handful of soldiers before they were able to grab a hold of her and Zuko. Nothing about the situation was fair, and as she sat aboard the airship all she could do was wonder why Azula hadn't killed her already.
The opportunity was there and and Katara, now stripped of her water, was outnumbered and too tired to put up a fight. So when Sokka and Toph flew aside the ship on Appa not too long after, she felt smothered by the rage that deluged her.
All she could think about was the missing faces of Aang and her father. She knew she should have been scrounging up whatever energy she had left to escape but this thought was eating away at her bit by bit. When Azula ordered her soldiers to free the water tribe peasant, Katara was so baffled by the action she couldn't bring herself to move.
Her eyes drifted to an unconscious Zuko. She sped in his direction, refusing to leave him behind - and that's when a wall of fire separated the two.
"Leave him!" Azula commanded. Her mouth lifted into an unsettling grin.
She heard Sokka shouting her name from atop the byson, if she was to escape this was her only opportunity. With a final glance at Zuko, tears streaming down her face she ran as fast as her feet could carry her and lept off of the ship.
As they flew away in the opposite direction, Azula's eyes never left Katara's. It was as if she knew preventing Katara from saving Zuko would be more enjoyable than just killing her. The same reasoning she had behind shooting lightning at her rather than Zuko. She wanted to strip them both of everything they held dear. Imparting them with pain and grief in survival rather than the freedom of death.
Katara's mind would replay this scene every night she attempted to sleep. Some nights she forced herself to lay awake, preferring the lack of sleep over the feelings that came along with reliving what had happened.
She worried for Aang, fearing the Fire Nation was treating him with no ounce of mercy. The only aspect that granted her some comfort was knowing they'd keep him alive for as long as humanly possible. This was the only way to insure a new Avatar wouldn't be born to interfere with their plains.
Her mind than went to Zuko,
He could be dead, they have nothing to gain from keeping him alive. Katara's heart seemed to ache whenever she thought of him.
She wanted to believe that they had kept him alive all this time, that somewhere deep down Ozai had some form of a conscious that prompted him to spare his only son, but that was wishful thinking.
Zuko was ready to give his life for her, she still questioned why he chose to do it. Sure they were friends, and over time he likely had come to care for her but to risk his throne, his future as Fire Lord and his life just for her seemed absurd. Nevertheless she was eternally grateful, and she wanted nothing more for him to be here with her - she never even got to say thank you.
Katara turned onto her back and inhaled deeply. This would be inevitably be another night of avoiding sleep, or avoiding the nightmares rather. She seemed to be living the nightmare awake just as much as she did while she slept, and so it did not seem to matter either way.
o - o - o - o - o
The air within the prison was stifling and the only light stemmed from the narrow window several feet above his cell. A pair of golden eyes took in the minimal space around him.
This had been the fourth time they moved him within two months. He assumed it was to make any attempted rescue mission impossible to fulfill. They intended to keep his location a mystery for as long as possible.
"Here," A guard bellowed from a few feet away, "this is all you'll get for the day so I suggest you don't be a fool and eat this time."
Zuko glanced down at the rice thrown in front of him. He had barely enough energy to bring himself to his feet. They fed the disgraced Prince just enough to keep him alive, but little enough so that he would not regain his strength.
He shoveled the food into his mouth realizing his body would not withstand another day of starvation. This was the first thing he had eaten in days and the goal was to keep it that way until the guards would answer at least one of his questions.
However, he came to the understanding that they were not above letting him starve to death.
When he finished eating he kicked the tray towards the front of his cell and turned away from the sadistic eyes of the guards assigned to watch him. This was the daily routine he was accustomed to.
Fed at the same time, allowed to bathe at the same time, and back in his cell by dusk. Zuko desperately missed the sun. The way it seemed to revive him every morning, provided a form of solace. He knew the darkness that followed him from location to location was done on purpose.
A Firebender thrives off the energy from the sun, this was an attempt to break not only his strength but his spirit as well.
He estimated that it had been a little over two years since they were been defeated. The only sense of time he had was the change of seasons he noticed as he was transported from prison to prison.
They were keeping him in the rags of peasants worn in the lower regions of the Fire Nation. They made sure to keep his hair cut, as long hair was a sign of wealth and royalty within his homeland.
There was suddenly of a shuffling of feet coming from outside the large steel door down the hall from his cell. The guards in front of him quickly got into position with their hands in a salute ready manner.
He maintained eye contact with the wall in front of him, much to the disdain of the guards in charge of him.
"Presenting Her Majesty Lord Azula of the Fire Nation, Keeper of the Dragon Throne!" The prescection entered before her with two soldiers on either side.
Azula hadn't come to visit since the day after Sozin's Comet and it had been clear that no one was expecting her.
The head guard, Jiang, bowed to Azula as she made her way to the front of the cell. The rest of them followed suit bowing as a sign of respect.
"It is an honor to have you, Fire Lord Azula" Jiang exclaimed.
"Yes it is," Azula grinned turning her attention towards Zuko who continued to ignore her presence. "Leave us." She intstructed.
"B-but your Lord, we are under strict instruction by the Phoenix King to never leave Zuko unattended under any circumstances." Jiang contended.
"I will not say it again. If I wasn't under orders from my father to be here, than I'd be doing something much more useful with my time. Now, leave!" She roared as her fists became engulfed in flames.
The guards began to scatter out of the room in fear, everyone knew better than to challenge Azula as she was known for being just as merciless as Ozai. She watched as they made their exit and refocused on her brother.
"Well Zuzu," Azula teased as she scraped her fingernail against the steel bars, "it's been quite a while hasn't it?"
Zuko continued staring at the wall, keeping his face as emotionless as possible. He had nothing to say to Azula, and he was glad his sister nor his father chose to visit him during his time as a prisoner. They were a reminder that he had failed and it was almost too painful to bare.
"You will answer your Fire Lord when she speaks to you!" Azula spat and slammed her hands against the cell.
It was still apparent to Zuko that even as Fire Lord, she still craved attention and approval - even from those she considered to be below her.
"What do you want, Azula?" Zuko murmured, barely above a whisper.
She smirked and returned her arms to their side. "That's more like it. Now, I have brought good news from father. I'm sure you'll be happy to know he hasn't forgotten about you."
Zuko cringed at Azula's words. At this point he would welcome death as an alternative to serving Ozai's sick vendetta's.
"I want nothing to do with you, or father. If I must be a prisoner than fine, but leave me out of your plans." He hissed.
"How dare you?" Azula gritted her teeth and continued in a menacing tone, "after all of the betrayal and disloyalty father has still decided to give you a chance to be a part of something wonderful and yet you still act like this!"
Zuko returned to silence, he did not have the strength to bicker with Azula. He was festering an anger inside of him he's sure his Uncle would have told him to let go of by now - but his uncle was not here. Zuko did not know where he was, and he worried for him daily.
"If it was up to me, we would have gotten rid of you long ago. But fortunately for you, father feels there's no better punishment than serving the Fire Nation for the rest of your days." Azula stated as she leaned back against the wall across from the cell.
"What are you talking about? How can I possibly serve the Fire Nation? I would never join his army and I'd never serve under you." Zuko spat.
Ozai had to have been planning something truly sickening if he kept him alive all this time just to be a part of it.
"Don't be foolish. Those are roles for those with honor who have not disgraced their country. Sorry to say but you don't fit that description, brother." Azula eyed her fingernails nonchalantly as she spoke.
"Than what are you talking about Azula?!" Zuko roared from his cell. He was becoming infuriated with sisters games and he wanted her to leave just as quickly as she arrived.
"Don't worry your pretty little head about the details. Just know that soon enough, you'll begin paying for your treachery!" Azula retorted, "And rest assured your little waterbender will reap the same penance."
Zuko felt his heart race at the mention of his fallen friend. He had assumed Katara was killed after Azula had been freed during the ambush. When he had awoken in the Palace infirmary, chained to the bed - that was the only conclusion he could draw.
It's not possible. Why would Katara, or anyone of his friends be spared? Zuko's head began pounding as the questions floored his brain.
"Why the look, Zuzu? Oh, right. Did I forget to mention the little peasant was alive?" Azula gasped sarcastically as her hand flew over her mouth, "My mistake, I assumed someone had told you."
"You're a liar! You're just trying to screw with my head!" Zuko sprung to his feet as quickly as he could and rushed to the bars of his cell. "What reason could you have had to spare her?!"
She chuckled crueley and eyed her brother with a look of disgust. Zuko appeared to possess feelings for a peasant. It was as if her and the man standing in front of her had been birthed from two completely different people.
"Actually, I would have loved to watch your little friend burn before me. However, father had other plans and I must say I look forward to the look on your face when you hear what they entail," Azula's face twisted into a smug look of triumph. "With that being said, I suggest you rest up Zuzu. You ship out tomorrow."
She was where she always wanted to be, and her inferior older brother, her mother's favorite was exactly where he was supposed to be. Her eye twitched at the thought of her Ursa, the vision of this woman haunted her at every turn and it was the one weakness she was not able to shake.
Azula left the corridor and exited with her soldiers following closely behind. As the guards rushed back into the room, Zuko sunk back down to the floor feeling dumbfounded at his sisters words.
Could she really still be out there? What about Aang, the rest of his friends? Uncle? He thought.
Zuko told himself he wouldn't create false hope, but it now seems as though he may have reason to believe it. He had no earthly idea what his father was planning and it shook him to his very core.
He laid down on the cott behind him and ran his fingers over the scar covering his midsection. This was a scar he was proud to wear, he had gotten it protecting someone he cared for dearly. Katara had been the only person aside from Iroh who truly understood him and he cherished their friendship from the moment she had decided to forgive him.
All he could do was hope she found sanctuary somewhere safe among loved ones. She was stronger than him, so he knew that if anyone could handle the fallout from the war - it was Katara.
Zuko decided it was best not to imagine what horrors awaited him tomorrow, but instead he pictured a certain blue eyed waterbender, somewhere happy and warm. He imagined his Uncle was somewhere serving tea in secret, away from harm. These were the thoughts that kept him from abandoning his sanity, so he would continue to use these thoughts as his sun and source of strength.