Kahlan sat on the bed, her knees up against her chest as she thought. The moonlight shined through the window, lighting nearly the entire room, making it easier for her to stare at the floor. Thunder rumbled in the distance; the sudden noise breaking the silence, made her jump in surprise and then look beside her to make sure that she hadn't woken him. She didn't want him to know that she was still awake. For the past two days, she had tried to distance herself from him, hoping that he wouldn't see that something was wrong. If he knew, there would be no stopping him from trying to fix it, but she couldn't tell him.

One day she would no longer be able to hide it and when that day came, things would change. Turning her head to look at him, she watched him sleep, the peaceful look on his face, making it even harder for her to keep quiet. Covering her mouth, she drowned out the soft whimper that escaped her and moved quickly from the bed. Trying to be as quiet as possible, Kahlan dressed herself, looking over to him every few moments to be sure he was still asleep. Walking to their bedroom door, she opened it nearly soundlessly and then walked swiftly from the room, leaving him alone in the dark.

Just as she rounded the corner, she heard their door open once again. She wanted to run, to go somewhere and finish crying, but he would never stop looking for her. Wiping the tears from her eyes quickly, she took in several deep breaths, hoping that she wouldn't appear to have been crying.

"Kahlan?" She didn't turn around, even as he came closer. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine; I was just going to the kitchen."

He grabbed her arm and held her still, walking around to face her. "Then why were you crying?"

"I'm not, I- I'm just hungry."

Frowning, Richard released her arm and took a step back. "You don't have to lie to me. Kahlan, whatever it is, you can tell me and I know that you wouldn't keep something from me unless you had a good reason, but you don't have to hold onto it alone."

"I'm just going to the kitchen." She repeated her lie, hoping that it might become true.

He sighed in frustration and pushed his fingers back through his hair. He stood in front of her, shirtless and his pants barely hanging onto his hips, showing his hurry to go after her. She could see the pain in his eyes as he tried to think of something to say. "All right." Without another word, he walked past her and back to their room.

She wanted to go after him, tell him that it was nothing, but she knew the moment she saw him again, somehow he would know. Turning on her heels, she rushed down the hallways, passing the kitchen, where Zedd sat eating and out of the palace. She knew that she wouldn't be stopped; no one would dare to stop her. Entering a section of the surrounding trees, she screamed. She allowed herself one last moment to be in despair and to mourn something that she never truly had. Slowly, she brought her left hand to her stomach and traced her fingers over the fabric in the spot her scar rested; the scar Richard had given her from Denna's agiel. That one moment had changed everything.

It wasn't Richard's fault, she told herself as she continued walking, entering deeper into the forest. If he had known what would happen, he never would have hurt her, he would have found another way. There would have been no other way; she knew this to be true. If he hadn't done it, she would have been killed in moments. He had saved her life, but taken it from her as well. He must never know.

Each time they made love, Richard made sure to spend time on the scar, kissing and licking as his only way to tell her how sorry he was. If he knew what the agiel had done, he would never forgive himself. She didn't blame him, though a part of her wanted to, wanted to be mad at him in the hopes that it somehow would make her feel better. Two days ago, when she at last went to see the palace's midwife, she learned that she was unable to conceive children due to the damage done to her by the agiel. She didn't know what to do, it was a Confessor's duty to bare children and continue the line, but she wasn't able to. The moment she was told, Kahlan jumped to his defense, saying that it couldn't have been the reason and that Nicci had stabbed her with a dacra and that it had to be the true reason.

The midwife had been kind and listened to the story, but once she had finished, she continued to frown as she explained what the agiel had done. She told her how it had torn her insides open and that she was honestly surprised that she had lived. Kahlan couldn't remember when she had cried so much. Having Richard's children was something that she wanted more than anything and now that she never could, she felt worthless to him. He had sacrificed so much to be with her and now he lost his birthright to a family.

He wouldn't be fooled for long. They made love nearly every day; every night and she has never been pregnant. He would know something was wrong, if he didn't know already. If she went back to their room tonight, he would be sitting on the bed, waiting and want to talk, but she didn't know what she would say yet. Before she knew it, she had reached the river, miles away from her home.

The sun was rising as she brought her head up out of the water with a gasp. Kahlan spent the rest of the night swimming, holding her breath under the water until her lungs tried to explode and then repeating the action.

"We need to talk." He was sitting on the riverbank, shaded by the trees. "You never came back."

"I needed to think."

"About what?" Swimming closer to him, she tried to think of something. She didn't want to tell him like this. "Kahlan please, I can't go another day like this. You've barely spoken to me, you haven't been sleeping and every time you look at me, you look like I hurt you."

"I- I went to see Helen."

Confused, Richard inched to the edge of the water, hoping that it meant what he hoped it did. "The midwife?"

Nodding, she found herself loosing the energy to remain above the water as tears collected in her eyes. "I can't..." She took in a deep breath, wanting to get the rest of the sentence out. "I will never have..."

He was in the water instantly, pulling her into his arms as she cried. From the way he held her, she knew that he was just as upset as she was; it only made it worse. "Did she say why?"

"No." She answered him quickly and without thought, continuing with the thought that he should never know why.

Pulling back, he cupped her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. "Kahlan, it might be me. Maybe I should-"

Shaking her head she looked away. "It's not you. My body will not..."

Bringing her back into his embrace, Richard stroked his fingers over her back, trying to comfort both of them. Within minutes, he was holding her afloat as she leaned into him, letting herself go. "Come on; let's get you out of the water." She didn't fight him as he lifted her into his arms and slowly began moving out of the water. Sitting her down gently, he grabbed her dress and handed it to her. "Here, let's get you dressed and then we'll go back and-"

"I don't want to go back."

"You need to sleep."

Dressing, Kahlan kept her eyes on the ground, unable to meet his eyes. "Not there. I can't go back yet."

He was soaking wet, his clothes sticking to him as he sat down beside her. Lying back, he opened his arms, waiting for her to lie down within them. "Come here." Lying down on his chest, she clung to him and began to cry. Everything in her mind told her to tell him, tell him why she was unable to have children, but she was so afraid of what he would do. He would never be able to live with the fact that he had caused it, that it was his actions that stole the only chance of continuing her line. She could feel his heart pounding against her check, thumping viciously as though he was able to read her thoughts.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to focus on it, counting each time it thumped as she slowly stopped crying. "We can always adopt Ren," Richard offered, knowing that she needed something to keep her mind busy.

"I don't know."

"I know that it doesn't change anything, that he's not a Confessor and that you-"

She pushed up from his chest and turned away from him, wiping her tears quickly as she shook her head. "I can't continue the line of Confessor's. My sister and I are the last ones and when we die..."

"Kahlan, was she sure? Maybe it's me or maybe there is something we can do. We will keep looking, we will find a way."

"There is no way!" She shouted, turning around and pushing his shoulders. "It's not you and there is nothing that we can do. We will never have children!" Standing up, she ran through the trees, leaving him sitting in the dirt, heartbroken.